Chapter 2
***
The child I met ten years ago was so small. Unbelievably small and thin for his age.
The first thing I remember is his dirty black hair. He was crouched in a corner of the room, curled into a ball, skinny arms wrapped around his legs. With his small face buried against his knees, the very first thing I actually saw was that unkempt, shaggy black hair that hadn’t been properly cared for.
The next thing I saw were those black eyes that seemed capable of swallowing everything whole. Large, pitch-black eyes. His long, thick lashes were wet, and the child was crying. Every time he blinked, perfectly round tears like glass beads fell straight down without even touching his cheeks.
‘I’m sorry… I’m sorry.’
With his red, plump lips, the child begged and begged for forgiveness. He frantically knelt before me—me, who was too shocked and bewildered to say anything or do anything. With his head pressed against the cold floor, he cried and begged over and over. The small child looked even smaller.
Between his sobs of apology and pleas for forgiveness, I heard one phrase. That it hurt too much. That he did it because it hurt too much.
Now, ten years later, even if the same thing happened to him, Raon would embrace that child. He would hold him and stroke his skinny back while whispering the same promise: that it wasn’t his fault, that he would make sure he wouldn’t hurt anymore.
The moment he met those black eyes reflecting his face, the moment he saw that beautiful face, Raon couldn’t think of anything else. He had stolen his soul away. Then and now, people called him a demon. He had his own code name, but everyone called him “Nox.” But Raon was certain.
He was an angel. Or perhaps a terrible demon who had shackled his ankles.
“Min Jaehwi!”
As soon as he entered the fairly large space covered in flames reaching toward the sky, Raon shouted with everything he had. He’d known from the moment he entered this space.
That his lost angel was here.
The person standing there as if he’d taken root, legs buried in the soil with arms hanging loosely—it was Min Jaehwi, the one he’d been searching for.
The small child who once fit perfectly in his arms had grown into an adult who was now saving the world. He must have known it was him. That’s why he’d created a path for him to find his way here more easily.
Raon wanted to rush over with quick steps, but he lacked the strength. With each heavy step bringing them closer, Jaehwi’s face became clearer.
His black hair, damp with sweat, clung randomly to his round, pretty forehead. The stiffness around his eyes softened. Those eyes, curving into crescents at the sight of Raon, were beautiful, and Raon admired his high, proudly raised nose bridge.
Every subtle change in his expression must be happening because of him.
There was no small child who would fit snugly in his arms anymore.
Instead, there stood a well-built Esper with strong features.
The man looking at him was truly unfamiliar. A black mask covered the lower half of his face, hiding his lips. But Raon could sense it. He seemed glad to see him, and appeared to be wearing a gentle smile.
Raon’s helmet reflected in those black eyes. Raon slowly lifted his protective visor. With the thick barrier that had been blocking his view removed, nothing stood between their gazes.
Their eyes locked—those still-large and beautiful black pupils. The beautiful child had grown into a formidable man with an unapproachable aura.
He didn’t speak. But his eyes said it all.
Why did you come? It’s dangerous.
Though he hadn’t moved at all, the mask covering the lower half of his face came undone and fluttered to the ground.
As Raon had imagined, the corners of his mouth were turned slightly upward. The eyes that hadn’t closed once since their gazes met now shut. A line of red blood slowly trickled down from the corner of his mouth.
In this space where time seemed to have stopped, Raon gradually drew closer to him. He removed his cumbersome protective helmet. Though he heard the heavy helmet hit the ground, he didn’t stop walking toward him. The small child who hadn’t even reached his chest was gone. To see his face, Raon had to tilt his head all the way back. After ten years of searching, Raon embraced him. He wanted to throw off the cumbersome, heavy, suffocating protective suit right away, but he couldn’t.
Seeing Jaehwi alone in this space—at the end of the world, cut off from everything—made Raon’s heart ache. Espers and Guides always operated in teams. Unlike what could be monitored from outside, countless unexpected situations could occur inside a dungeon.
Outside, dozens of Espers and Guides were desperately trying to prevent the dungeon from going berserk. Was that really to stop the dungeon? Plan B, which Carter hadn’t mentioned, was right here: if necessary, they would obliterate this entire area, burying both the dungeon and Jaehwi together.
He wrapped his arms tightly around him. The child who once fit snugly in his arms had grown too big—almost too large to embrace. Raon could feel his energy slowly transferring to him.
He must be desperate. He should be frantically taking all of Raon’s energy and still needing more. Yet he didn’t rush. Even when Raon, feeling angry, tried to pour his energy out recklessly, Jaehwi only took a constant amount. In this hot, cramped space where breathing was difficult, it felt as if a gentle spring breeze was rising. It was refreshing and soft, still carrying the scent of winter that hadn’t completely disappeared.
“Are you really our Hwi?”
With his head resting on Jaehwi’s shoulder and eyes closed, Raon murmured. The steady sound of his heartbeat echoed in Raon’s ears. A smile played on Raon’s lips as he felt the energy flowing from him being completely transferred to Jaehwi. The last time he had experienced this strange, tingling feeling that made his heart flutter was ten years ago. Since then, he’d had no reason to guide anyone else.
[Hello, Raon.]
There was clearly a smile in those softly spoken words.
“Hnngh—”
At this impertinent response, Raon tried to withdraw the energy that was flowing out involuntarily, but a sob burst from his lips. It felt as if his very soul was being pulled away. Feeling all of himself being sucked into the other, he tried desperately to block the flow of energy, but like a burst dam, he couldn’t control the overflow.
He had definitely been holding him with both arms to block the fire, but now he felt Jaehwi wrap one arm around his body.
“Don’t speak informally to me.”
Before closing his eyes, Raon spat out a curse. The last thing he heard was Jaehwi’s refreshing laughter.
***
Raon stared blankly at the white paper in front of him. After examining the lined cheap stationery for a while, he looked at the ballpoint pen clutched tightly in his right hand. Just like the stationery that could be easily obtained anywhere, the pen was also cheap—the kind you could find everywhere.
It was the kind of cheap ballpoint pen that required scribbling a few times on blank paper or in the margins before writing to check if it worked properly, the kind that occasionally produced what people called “pen poop” in the middle of writing. It wasn’t the fountain pen with his name engraved on it that glided smoothly across paper with a satisfying scratch.
Suddenly, tears fell onto the white paper with a plop. The cheap paper quickly absorbed the tears, which soon became stains. When he rubbed them with his hand, the paper surface roughened. After rubbing a few more times, it tore completely.
He was angry. He crumpled and threw away the torn paper, then took out a new sheet. He couldn’t cry again. Wiping his tear-filled eyes with his rough sleeve made his delicate skin turn red, but that wasn’t important right now.
Adjusting his grip on the pen, he began writing each character carefully on the paper. This letter would save him. It was his only hope of being pulled out from this terrible hell.
“Madam, the young master has sent a letter.”
Hyeyeon took the letter Secretary Lee handed her, checked the sender, and took out a letter knife. Before opening the envelope, she let out a brief sigh. She couldn’t fathom the feelings of her son who had sent her this letter.
The envelope tore with the small movement of the letter knife. Her hand trembled slightly as she pulled out the letter. Taking a deep breath, she leaned back comfortably on the sofa and slowly unfolded the paper. The rough-textured paper made a crackling sound.
[To my beloved Madam Na Hyeyeon,
The weather has become quite cold. Today again, I woke up early and faced the cold wind…
How is your health, mother? I am…]
The content was quite ordinary. It was unreasonably ordinary by any standard.
Wondering if there might be some hidden message, she continued reading slowly. There were smudges here and there in the writing, as if he had cried while writing, and circular stains where tears had dried.
[Mom… Report to the police!
This isn’t right. Please report it. I think I’m going to die.
These guys are going to kill me. This is no place for a human to be!
Please come visit with a lawyer and police. Please.
If you’re busy, at least send a lawyer.
Please save your son, mom!]
So this was what he really wanted to say. He wanted to be taken out immediately.
“Tsk…”
Hyeyeon threw away the handkerchief she had been holding. She felt foolish for having been momentarily moved by his seemingly gentle tone and the tear stains clearly visible on the paper.
She felt pathetic for briefly thinking that her fearless, arrogant youngest son, who had never shown respect to anyone, was finally coming to his senses through this childish letter.
“Secretary Lee. Burn this letter.”
The letter that Raon had written through his tears turned into a handful of ashes.
