# Chapter 19
Moderate alcohol and loud music that took his mind away. Rhythms that made his body vibrate. Raon stood in the middle of it all. Usually, he had a wide personal space, but tonight was an exception. He was more generous with strangers he’d never see again than with casual acquaintances.
At some point, Raon found himself among countless people. Without following the rhythm or making any movement. Just standing in the middle.
Someone was speaking to him, their voice buzzing in his ear, but he kept his eyes closed. Someone’s hands touched him, but Raon had let everything go.
There was no danger since Jay was watching over him.
He was intoxicated by the heat emanating from the people. Though his eyes were closed, when one person’s face appeared before him, Raon, who had been standing still, slightly moved his head. Then his body began to move with the music. He wanted to completely empty his mind.
Late hour. A club overflowing with people.
Music that made his head and body vibrate. His body swaying lightly to the beat.
He moved to shake off the one person who kept filling his thoughts. He lifted the beer bottle loosely held in his hand to moisten his dry lips. Again, someone pressed against his back and whispered something in his ear, so he brushed off his ear with his other hand, where someone’s breath had touched.
He had come to the club to meet people, but he disliked them approaching him. It seemed like today he’d just have to enjoy himself alone and leave.
He was only on his second shot of liquor and second bottle of beer, but he felt drunk faster than usual. While dancing alone with his eyes closed, the voices of people speaking to him kept changing. Then suddenly, he realized that people were no longer approaching him.
He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when they had stopped talking to him. Suddenly, his body felt weak.
He needed to find Jay. He didn’t have the stamina to party all night at the club. It seemed like it was time to settle down rather than occasionally meeting people like this. Various thoughts randomly arose simultaneously.
Raon stopped moving his body to the music and opened his eyes, which had been closed until now. His delusions were endless. All his thoughts led to one person. And that person was now standing in front of him.
Just like when he first saw him, he was all in black. Raon tilted his head slightly. Then he smiled faintly. He was either properly drunk or the person from his imagination had appeared in reality.
Black cap, black t-shirt, black jacket. Black hair visible under the cap. Everything was black.
“Hello.”
Raon spoke softly. Hello. Whether it was a greeting upon meeting or a farewell before parting, he couldn’t think that far.
He couldn’t read the other’s expression in the shadow created by the cap. Raon took a step closer.
“Hello.”
When there was no response after he spoke again, the corners of his mouth, which had slightly risen, dropped. Surely, he was seeing things because he was drunk. The face of the other, hidden in the shadows created by the dark lighting and the darker cap, wasn’t clearly visible.
“Jay.”
Raon, with one hand on his forehead, turned around. He had to tell him to go home. He shouldn’t go to the hotel because he wanted to see the face that kept lingering in his mind. After hearing the request to look for male Guides, not female ones, his emotions had become even harder to control.
Jay was always watching him. So, by now, seeing the change in his behavior, Jay should be approaching. While waiting, the music he had been immersing himself in felt like noise.
“Do you want to go home?”
A familiar voice reached Raon’s ear as he waited for Jay. It was a normal voice without any emotion.
I’m seeing things and now hearing things too. Raon nodded.
“Are you done having fun?”
This time, the voice had a hint of laughter.
How amusing. Even in the voice created by his imagination, he could feel emotions.
Raon nodded again.
Jaehwi extended his hand. He intertwined his fingers with the small, pale hand that hung limply. Warm fingers interlaced between his own.
The small back turned towards him. He could face Raon’s face again after a brief absence.
“Hello.”
It was Jaehwi, not Raon, who spoke.
He couldn’t grasp where or how to approach.
He wasn’t even sure if he should be by his side. The brown eyes looking up at him made him waver. Seeing the dazed expression, as if surprised, Jaehwi smiled broadly.
He wished he could be younger. He envied his younger self who could burrow into his arms and follow him around without hesitation. He wanted to go back to his pure self, before he had these feelings for him.
“Raon.”
When he called his name, a faint smile appeared on the dazed face. Very slowly, like a budding flower, the eyes, relaxed from alcohol, focused on him. And Raon smiled brightly without making a sound.
“Kang Raon.”
When he called his name again, the brightly smiling Raon tilted his head. He’s completely drunk. Jaehwi sighed and pulled the hand he was holding. Raon’s body came closer too easily and collided with his own.
Jaehwi embraced Raon. The calm beating of his heart was transmitted clearly. He stroked the back of Raon, who was comfortably leaning on his shoulder. Though they were on the club’s floor, surrounded by noise and complexity, it felt like they were alone.
As if it tickled, Raon laughed softly. Wanting to get closer to him, Jaehwi lowered his head.
He blocked out everything. Only Raon’s warmth and the sounds he made filled Jaehwi’s world. The small hand that he had firmly intertwined slipped away. Raon, who hadn’t been looking at him, slowly tilted his head back.
Just a little more movement and he could reach him.
A sweet breath touched him. While Jaehwi couldn’t move, Raon moved first.
Small hands cupped Jaehwi’s cheeks. Raon, who was shorter than him, stood on tiptoe, and something unexpected touched him faintly before disappearing.
Small hands moved over Jaehwi’s face. They touched his eyebrows and the tip of his nose. The hands that had been on his cheeks now played with his lips.
“You’re pretty.”
With slightly unfocused pupils, Raon was looking at him so sweetly. He felt intoxicated by those fingertips that moved ticklishly. Raon’s lips curved up softly, and the words he whispered, as if mumbling, were like magic.
The hands that had been stroking Raon’s back now wrapped around his waist. He didn’t want to allow even the smallest space between them. Before Raon could be surprised, Jaehwi wrapped his other hand around the nape of his neck.
Raon’s soft, warm, and moist lips induced hallucinations. He savored the plump lower lip, and soon explored inside his slightly parted mouth.
The hands touching his face trembled. They separated for a moment, but Jaehwi sought Raon again. The soft lips were crushed, and hot tongues intertwined.
The music that had been vibrating their bodies had changed to a softer tune. Raon, who had been feeling Jaehwi’s face, now wrapped his arms around his neck. He couldn’t regain his senses from the sensation flowing through his entire body, from head to toe.
Thirst arose. Due to an unfulfilled thirst, Raon opened his eyes.
“Haah—”
A faint sound mixed with his breathing. He wanted to know who he was embracing right now. He tried to step back and see the face of the person right in front of him.
But Raon didn’t have a choice. Their lips separated, but their noses touched. The breaths, mixed until he couldn’t tell whose was whose, grew distant. In disappointment, he stood on his tiptoes.
The hand that had been around his nape now caressed the back of his head, and Raon, led by that touch, had to bury his face in the other’s shoulder. Drowsiness overwhelmed him at the gentle touch. He couldn’t think straight about where he was or what the situation was, as everything was jumbled together.
Unlike the hand caressing the back of his head, something else touched his head.
“Mr. Min Jaehwi.”
He knew, but deliberately ignored it. But when his name was called, Jaehwi slowly lifted his head from Raon’s head, where he had been placing his lips.
“I’ll take the young master.”
He had known that Jay was in this space from the beginning. After all, it was Jay who had told him where Raon was.
Initially, he had just come because he wanted to see him. He had intended to just watch from afar, but the moment he saw Raon with his eyes closed on the floor, his feet seemed stuck to the ground.
He had instantly recognized Raon among all these people. Even as he watched numerous people circling around him, Jaehwi didn’t move. He just observed the body swaying gently to the music and the hair fluttering with it.
The eyelashes that created shadows over his tightly closed eyes were beautiful. Even his lips, wet from the occasional sips of beer, everything held Jaehwi’s feet in place when he had only meant to take a quick look and leave.
He was completely captivated by the sight of him. Then the people approaching him became irritating, and Jaehwi created a faint barrier around Raon.
Approaching him and speaking to him was an impulsive action. If he hadn’t met him when he was young, would it have been easier? Raon treated him like a younger brother. His gaze was warm, but the emotion read from it wasn’t what he wanted.
Would it have been different if he had been born first? If he had possessed more than him, would it have been different?
Since he was drunk, perhaps he would allow it today. Jaehwi voiced the words that had been lingering in his mouth. He discarded the cumbersome word “hyung.”
Who was he seeing through him? Jaehwi wanted to hold that place, even if just for a moment. Even if it was a gaze meant for someone else, it was he who was receiving it now. Both the hands that touched his face playfully and the eyes full of love.
