# Chapter 12
“Ah. Right. Let’s do that. Hwi, have you been staying at the Center dormitory all this time?”
“Yes. After leaving the site, we flew back together, and there was no place to quickly find accommodations, and everything was so hectic…”
“Seriously, are everyone’s heads just for decoration? Nobody even knows Nox’s face, and if he wears regular clothes, no one would recognize him. I could have sent him to my hotel, why the Center dormitory? How could you put the kid in such a shabby place!”
Hyukjin didn’t know which of the many contradictions in Raon’s words to correct first, making it difficult for him to speak. The fact that Raon had gone to the site where Nox was deployed was classified information to begin with, and above all, the Center dormitory that he called “shabby” was a place people were desperate to get into.
Hyukjin himself had applied and been rejected, shedding tears of blood…
Raon, who had raised his head to refute Hyukjin’s words, put his sunglasses back on lest his eyes meet Jaehwi’s.
“Hotel?”
Though it was Hyukjin who questioned him, not Jaehwi, Raon continued without paying attention.
“The Center dormitory isn’t great. I have a room at the hotel, so stay there until you find a proper place.”
“Want to get something to eat?”
It wasn’t just a different conversation—Jaehwi and Raon weren’t having a proper dialogue at all. Each only said what they wanted to say. Yet strangely, the conversation continued. Hyukjin sighed deeply and stood up. Whatever was going on between these two, it was something they needed to resolve themselves, not a situation for him to interfere.
“What?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Really? You’re hungry? What do you want to eat? Just tell me what you want.”
Leaving the two alone, Hyukjin left the office and firmly gripped Jay’s shoulder in the secretarial office. Whatever it was, it seemed that Jay would have a lot of hard work ahead.
The moment Hyukjin patted Jay’s shoulder, Jay’s phone rang. As expected, it was a call from Raon.
* * *
Raon, who had intended to go home himself and have only Jaehwi stay at the hotel he used, somehow ended up in the room with him. When it came down to it, he felt uneasy leaving him alone.
Raon focused his gaze on the back of the man standing by the window as he dried his wet hair with a towel. He was the first person besides his family and Jay to enter his personal space.
“You haven’t changed at all, Hyung.”
Jaehwi, wearing the indoor clothes that Jay had urgently procured, seemed more comfortable than Raon himself.
“And you’ve changed a lot?”
“Do you dislike that?”
Walking to Raon in just a few steps, Jaehwi took the towel on his head and gently began rubbing his hair dry.
“It’s not that, it’s just… how do I put it, I’m thinking I can’t hug you to sleep anymore.”
Uncomfortable with Jaehwi’s intimate gesture—something more suitable between lovers—Raon awkwardly moved away toward the table where food was prepared.
“I don’t like that idea.”
Jaehwi’s blunt reply as he approached Raon’s side like a duckling following its mother made Raon bow his head to hide his face.
Raon’s hand, which had been stirring the soup dish in front of him with a spoon, paused momentarily. Jaehwi, who knew nothing, clearly didn’t mean anything specific by his words.
Though Raon had just innocently spoken while thinking of the past, his current situation was very different.
After entering the hotel together and showing Jaehwi his room and bathroom, Raon had showered in the bathroom inside the main bedroom. He had crouched under the running warm water for quite some time.
He had thought countless times about what it would be like to meet Jaehwi again. He had planned to be happy, to enjoy their time together, to see what the child lacked and provide for him. He had wanted to ask how he’d been all this time and listen to his stories. After all, Jaehwi had been his little one.
But six years had cruelly transformed the small, young child into an adult who embodied his preferences so completely that he feared he might harbor inappropriate feelings toward the child he had once cherished.
This awkward and uncomfortable emotion clearly stemmed from his inability to view Jaehwi purely.
“If you were with NCSC all this time, why were you classified as top secret?”
Only after shifting the subtle conversation in another direction could Raon eat his soup.
“Officially, my measurement is S-class. But it’s probably above that. They likely know that too.”
Jaehwi easily followed Raon’s change of subject.
“Have you ever been properly measured?”
“They always wanted to, but you told me not to, remember? You said to show only 60 percent of my abilities.”
Raon smiled slightly as he watched Jaehwi eating his steak. Though he seemed disobedient, it was endearing that he had somehow listened to his words. He recalled how Jaehwi had stared at him and answered “Yes” to Hyukjin’s question about whether he was S-class.
“Even so, I don’t understand how NCSC made you out to be a non-existent person. Anyway, regardless of which center you contract with, keep doing the same when you’re remeasured. What’s your official ability listed in the NCSC file? Hyukjin mentioned your file was transferred, but I haven’t checked it yet, so I’m asking you directly. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer.”
“Simple things like moving objects, resistance to fire or poison. This and that.”
“Are you hiding things from me too?”
Seeing Jaehwi enjoying the meat, Raon pushed his steak toward him and pulled the nearby salad closer.
“You really don’t know.”
It was such a quiet voice that it was unclear whether it was something he wanted to tell Raon or something he hoped would go unheard. Since Raon was focusing all his attention on Jaehwi, the words reached him clearly.
“What don’t I know?”
“How many Espers do you think are in this hotel? Espers specialized in eavesdropping.”
Raon put down the fork he was holding. This was truly a subject he had never thought about in his entire life. There weren’t many Espers and Guides. But Raon had always worked and interacted with them. He had conversations with them and thought he knew them well.
“My information isn’t confidential anymore. All domestic centers will be interested in me. Foreign ones will be interested too, but won’t show it. So they’ll be watching my every move. They’ll be most curious about which center I’ll contract with, and then about my Guide issue. Ah! I noticed MK Center can’t be eavesdropped on. They must have paid good attention to that. It was frustrating not being able to find out what you were doing or what state you were in, but that also made it a reassuring place. Anyway, right now we’re just in a hotel.”
Though Jaehwi spoke casually as if it were nothing while eating, his words were not insignificant.
“Are you saying our conversation is being eavesdropped on right now? And they know who you are?”
Raon roughly ran his fingers through his now almost dry hair. He needed to recall what they had discussed since arriving. Though it didn’t seem like they had said much, he hoped there was nothing that others could use against them.
“You could think of it another way. The MK Center team leader brought some guy into his room. Anyway, they’re trying to eavesdrop. Of course, they won’t hear anything.”
“If it was going to be like this, we should have just stayed at the Center. Why didn’t you explain this before we left?”
“You’re more comfortable here, Hyung. You can do whatever you want. I’m really fine. Whether it’s eavesdropping or anything else trying to interfere, I can take care of it. Are you going to eat that?”
Raon stared at Jaehwi, who was pushing the steak toward him again after taking back the salad Raon had pulled over. At this point, he wasn’t sure what was what, but Jaehwi was effectively saying he had the ability to block eavesdropping. That also meant he could eavesdrop himself.
“Just what have you been doing all this time?”
“What would an Esper attached to the military do? Getting called here and there, entering dungeons, handling situations. Training, getting tested… I’m fine.”
A low sigh escaped from Raon, who was sitting back in his chair. Jaehwi seemed unbothered, even comfortable. But the words he had heard from him today were far from ordinary.
After covering his face with both hands for a moment, Raon stood up and approached Jaehwi.
He stood beside Jaehwi, who put down the fork and knife he was holding and looked up at him with a slightly puzzled expression. Then he embraced Jaehwi’s shoulders and head.
Jaehwi’s face touched his chest. As he stroked his head, Jaehwi, who had hesitated momentarily, wrapped his arms around Raon’s waist.
It felt like they were finally at eye level. Jaehwi’s head came up to around Raon’s chest, and when hugged, Jaehwi naturally embraced his waist. So, as he always had, Raon bent his head and kissed Jaehwi’s soft hair.
“Hyung. I’m okay.”
“I know.”
“Really, I’m fine.”
“Yes. I know.”
Jaehwi, who had been quietly nestled in Raon’s arms, sighed softly. He knew exactly what had lightly settled on his hair. Raon was embracing his head, stroking it, and kissing it just like before. And his left chest tingled. He had thought he would be happy and joyful to meet him, but strangely, it hurt.
