The delivery man’s curiosity following the newcomer who had only been at Yeodanhwa for a few days was natural. He repeatedly smoked cigarettes and kept lightly touching the thigh of Lee Jeong sitting in the passenger seat. He tried to make various conversation, but after learning he was someone who couldn’t speak, he didn’t bother talking to him anymore.
Letting out a small sigh, Lee Jeong turned his head toward the outside. It felt like the traces of the customer he’d just serviced had contaminated not only his body but also his mind with stains.
The establishment he’d worked at for three years wasn’t much different from this place, ‘Yeodanhwa.’ The broker said he was sending him to a better place, pulling him out of a muddy hellhole like that specifically because he followed orders well. He’d bragged so much about it that there had been expectations it would be better than the establishment he’d been working at, and actually, the past few days had been okay. Unlike that place where he just spread his legs naked for guys he couldn’t even distinguish between this one or that one, here he mainly wore a shirt and poured drinks in rooms. Among them, there were even people who elegantly just drank and left.
Until he serviced that man today, Yeodanhwa had been much better in every way. However, now that he’d serviced that man, Lee Jeong thought for the first time that perhaps the previous establishment would be better. He felt so lacking in confidence that he was afraid of having to service that man again in the future.
The man who looked like a scholar had a cruel disposition contrary to his face. He insulted Lee Jeong’s dignity with a kind tone, and despite not having such a threatening physique, he pushed Lee Jeong to his limits. Moreover, he wasn’t even a phenotype. Yet he was rougher than most alphas.
Being harassed and humiliated wasn’t something he’d experienced for just a day or two, so he was used to it. However, the man felt strangely burdensome to Lee Jeong. He couldn’t tell what made Lee Jeong feel so threatened. The only thing he could feel clearly was that the man pretended to be kind but actually had an extremely cruel disposition.
Warning lights went off in his head the entire time he serviced the man. However, Lee Jeong couldn’t avoid him. He couldn’t escape from the time spent with the man. He just had to endure everything the man gave while sensing the danger. The pain, the humiliation, the detestable shame.
Let’s shake it off. Before the thoughts go deeper.
Lee Jeong shook his head. It wasn’t something he’d been doing for just a day or two, and if he recalled what happened that day even after going home, the only one who lost out was himself.
It wasn’t time to fall into self-pity. Lee Jeong hurried with quick steps even while limping and pressed the password on the keypad attached to the apartment building’s common entrance. His empty stomach ached from not having eaten anything. His hands were trembling slightly.
The door opened with a buzz. Though it wasn’t his own home, he rushed into the building he’d become familiar with and got on the elevator. As soon as he arrived at the 6th floor, he rushed out through the open door gap. He ran to the left door among the doors on both sides and rang the bell with a ding-dong.
The door opened quickly. At the early time of 7:30 in the morning, the woman who had been inside the house had already finished all her preparations to go out. The savory smell of toast wafted strongly from inside the house.
“Lee Jeong-ssi, you’re here?”
The woman he’d met by chance in front of the center was a social worker. It was nothing short of heavenly fortune that Lee Jeong, who had been struggling to raise a child as an unmarried father while working at the establishment, met her. It was Yoonkyung who first extended a helping hand after seeing Lee Jeong’s pitiful situation, stamping his feet with nowhere to leave his child. She offered to sleep with the child during the night while Lee Jeong worked after getting off work.
Lee Jeong, who had jumped and declined at first, eventually entrusted Dokyung to her with a grateful heart due to her repeated kindness and offers. Dokyung, who had just passed his second birthday, followed Yoonkyung quite well. Seeing how anyone could tell she adored the child, Lee Jeong trusted her completely. She was the person Lee Jeong relied on most in the world and purely respected.
-Yes. Thank you. Thanks to you, I worked with peace of mind.
Lee Jeong took out the notebook and pen he always used from his pocket and wrote the words to show Yoonkyung. Having apparently adapted to his scribbled handwriting, Yoonkyung squinted and smiled.
“What did I even do? Yesterday too, Dokyung played a little as soon as he came and fell asleep right away.”
-You know that’s what I’m most grateful for.
“Again, again. Going to give thanks all day long. I’m getting paid properly by Lee Jeong-ssi, you know.”
As he was writing ‘Still…’ in his notebook, Yoonkyung took Lee Jeong’s hand and sat him in a dining chair.
“Lee Jeong-ssi must be hungry too. Eat something before Dokyung wakes up.”
Lee Jeong hurriedly waved his hands in refusal, but Yoonkyung had already placed a plate with fried eggs and crisply toasted bread in front of him.
-If you do this, I’m too…
“Stop, stop. Eat quickly instead of taking time to write.”
Yoonkyung snatched away Lee Jeong’s notebook where he was writing words of refusal and placed it aside. Lee Jeong quietly looked at Yoonkyung for a moment, then bowed his head to show his thanks. Soon a glass cup filled with milk was also placed in front of him.
“Eat and get your energy up. Lee Jeong-ssi, you look so drained right now.”
Lee Jeong nodded without resistance. He was newly embarrassed by his own state. Coming into this house like a defeated soldier, reeking of the dirty filth he’d been covered in all night, wasn’t something that happened just once or twice.
Without even looking, there would surely be marks all over his neck from bites by that fierce beta man wearing glasses. From his armpits and the inside of his forearms to his wrists, his torso, and even the tender parts inside his thighs—there wasn’t a place the man’s teeth hadn’t touched. Seeing the mottled marks, the manager had been furious with a fierce face, but she couldn’t say anything more to the man. The man had probably taken revenge on him for having ‘Min’ stolen away.
Lee Jeong silently bit into the toast. Instead of feeling shame, he had to eat one more bite to gather his strength. Because no matter how much his legs trembled, he had to take Dokyung and go home.
Warm food prepared by someone else. As always, he was so grateful for Yoonkyung’s consideration he could cry. Not only did she watch over the child who was his weakest point, but she also wordlessly embraced his body torn ragged by wild beasts—he wanted to give her everything he had. Even if he spent his whole life repaying her, it wouldn’t be enough.
“Appa…”
Just then, the door to the inner room opened slightly. A chubby hand was rubbing eyes still full of sleep.
‘Did our Dokyung wake up?’
Saying so in his heart, Lee Jeong smiled broadly. His thin arms unhesitatingly lifted and embraced the child’s plump body snuggling in. Yoonkyung burst into laughter.
“Really, Lee Jeong-ssi… just seeing Dokyung’s face seems to make you burst with energy.”
Lee Jeong looked at Yoonkyung and smiled sheepishly. He couldn’t deny her words. The final reason his body had to stay attached and not scatter as a handful of fleeting smoke in this world was in his arms—he couldn’t help but have energy.
Lee Jeong’s hands unhesitatingly removed the child’s pants. The diaper, having absorbed the child’s urine throughout the night, was puffed up full. Yoonkyung naturally took out a diaper from the drawer and handed it over. Lee Jeong tore off the child’s diaper with a ripping sound and rolled it up into a ball. He barely managed to stand the child, who kept clinging to his neck still not fully awake, on his lap and put each leg into the diaper holes one by one. Of course, he didn’t forget to blow on and dry the child’s groin area before fully pulling up the diaper.
“Appa.”
“Yeah.”
He could manage to answer in single words. Lee Jeong looked at the child with maximum affection and smiled warmly.
“Wawa.”
“Yeah.”
Yoonkyung tried to take out a cup, but Lee Jeong was a bit faster. While holding the child, he skillfully took out a mug hanging on the wall with one hand. Pressing the button on the water purifier placed right next to it, the sound of water pouring out was refreshing.
When he held the cup to the child’s mouth, he gulped it down deliciously. The long eyelashes fluttered gently each time the child blinked. Unable to take his eyes off that sight, Lee Jeong pulled the child’s head into an embrace and breathed in deeply.
My oxygen. My life. My everything.
After that incident three years ago, Lee Jeong had wished he could become a ghost-like existence. He wanted to live quietly just breathing like a person who didn’t exist. If he could safely raise the child among the people trying to devour him like a pack of hyenas, if he could fulfill his role like that. He wanted to scatter without a trace like smoke.
In such a life without attachment, Dokyung was the only existence that supplied oxygen. The child’s body, which he embraced after coming back from being torn apart all night by hyena-like bastards, was small but felt as big as the universe to Lee Jeong.
He loved the body that fit snugly like a doll when embraced fully and offered comfort to him, exhausted through the night. The soft flesh and smooth skin, the fine and shiny hair. The tiny hands that always smelled sweet. The cheeks that were always puffed up round and the small, red lips. All of those things about Dokyung were comfort to Lee Jeong, salvation, and the reason for existence.
[I’ll get going now. Thank you again today.]
“Feed the baby breakfast before you go. I made some for Dokyung too.”
Yoonkyung shook her head firmly after reading the writing in Lee Jeong’s notebook. He felt sorry about having the child eat breakfast on top of having already been in her care all night. He tried to refuse, saying how could he do that every time, but Yoonkyung was one beat faster. Dokyung was already looking at the children’s tableware placed in front of him and the eggs in it, clapping his hands saying “Mama. Mama.”
“Dokyung, eat a lot. Come here. Let daddy eat too.”
“Uuung.”
Dokyung firmly shook his head. Seeing that, Yoonkyung burst into laughter. Asking who was the one who clung to him all night and wouldn’t let him sleep, she pinched his cheeks gently so it wouldn’t hurt, and Dokyung smiled brightly too. But in the end, he didn’t get down from Lee Jeong’s lap.
In the end, under her instructions, both Lee Jeong and Dokyung emptied their bowls. He ate a bit quickly because he was in a hurry. He was already receiving enough help, so he couldn’t let her be late for work because of him and the baby. Thanks to diligently hurrying, the three of them were able to leave the house together just before eight o’clock.
Lee Jeong bowed deeply toward her. Conveying words he couldn’t express with his heart so sincere it was painful.
‘Thank you. Really.’
