Chapter 53: Nothing, and No Words
Being with this person was indeed not a good choice. It was a relationship where hatred would only grow when face to face.
“…No. Not yet.”
Unable to know what answer would please him, Yeon responded honestly.
“Not yet…”
Lee Seojin repeated Yeon’s words in a murmur. Yeon stared at the murky yellow thread wavering in the air. Should he cut it now? Even if he cut it, since they kept facing each other, it would soon form again… Still, thinking it might be better to at least make it faint, he reached out, but midway Lee Seojin grabbed Yeon’s arm.
“Do you like Senior Dohyuk?”
Yeon hesitated at the blunt question. Like? Their relationship couldn’t be defined with such a simple word. Whatever his feelings were, he and Dohyuk were entangled. The more he struggled to break free, the deeper and more strongly they would intervene in each other’s fate.
What his heart felt wasn’t important. He and Kang Dohyuk were destined to be entwined from birth. It would have been better if they had never met. The moment they met, even though they tried to deny each other, they were ultimately drawn together.
He was attracted to Kang Dohyuk. Whether it was because of fate or his own pure emotion, he couldn’t deny that much.
“I don’t know.”
Lee Seojin’s eyebrows twisted at Yeon’s honest answer.
“I hope that person… isn’t hurt. I hope he doesn’t die. That’s all for now.”
“How is that different from liking someone?”
Yeon met Lee Seojin’s interrogative gaze and smiled faintly.
“You want Kang Dohyuk to look your way, don’t you?”
Lee Seojin’s face froze at Yeon’s question. He seemed flustered, as if surprised his emotions were so obvious. Yeon continued speaking without explaining his abilities.
“I don’t wish to have a relationship with Kang Dohyuk that can be defined by any word. Just the hope I mentioned earlier, that’s all.”
Lee Seojin’s jawbone visibly protruded as he clenched his molars.
“Don’t talk nonsense. When you like someone, it’s natural to expect something.”
“I suppose so. That’s why I can’t say my feelings are the same as yours.”
He didn’t wish to be by Dohyuk’s side. He just hoped that in this life, there would be no more unhappiness, that he wouldn’t die because of Dohyuk, and that Dohyuk wouldn’t die either. In the face of survival, other emotions seemed luxurious. There was no need to explain all this to Lee Seojin.
“I don’t understand you.”
Lee Seojin turned his head in irritation. It was natural that he couldn’t understand. Yeon didn’t need his understanding either.
“Lee Seojin.”
Yeon quietly called his name. Lee Seojin didn’t look back.
“I know you hate me.”
Yeon swallowed a sigh as he watched the yellow thread growing murkier. He had said he had somewhere to go, but hadn’t specified Kang Sunhyuk. At the same time, Lee Seojin had asked if he wanted to go to Kang Dohyuk.
Lee Seojin probably wouldn’t take him to Kang Dohyuk. Rather, he had malicious intentions. The thread connecting them made it possible for Yeon to predict his next actions.
“Don’t do anything.”
Lee Seojin’s eyes wavered at the abruptly thrown words. So he was planning something after all.
“What do you—”
“I’m not begging for my life. I’m trying to save yours.”
Lee Seojin’s eyes widened at these calm words.
“If you harm me, Kang Dohyuk will try to kill you.”
He would definitely do so. Though Kang Dohyuk couldn’t clearly define his feelings for Yeon either, once he considered something “his,” he would regard anyone who tried to touch it as an enemy.
It was the same in his past life. There had been many who tried to harm Yeon at his side. Saying Yeon’s abilities fueled him, or that without Yeon he couldn’t start a rebellion—sometimes enemies, sometimes allies tried to harm Yeon. Each time, he cut down the opponent without a moment’s hesitation. Not even Yi, his right-hand man, was an exception.
Kang Dohyuk didn’t remember his past life, but his nature hadn’t changed. If anything, he had become more cruel and ruthless than before. Yeon was certain of this after seeing how Dohyuk used Lee Seojin’s emotions. So if Lee Seojin tried to do something to him, if it caused him even the slightest harm, Dohyuk would eliminate Lee Seojin without hesitation.
He couldn’t allow another ill-fated connection to develop.
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
Though he denied it loudly, Lee Seojin’s voice was trembling considerably. Lee Seojin also knew Kang Dohyuk better than anyone. So he couldn’t possibly not know what it meant to fall out of Kang Dohyuk’s favor.
“Even if you separate me from Kang Dohyuk, you won’t have him.”
Unfortunately, there was no romantic connection between them.
“Instead, this thread connecting you two…”
Yeon grabbed the crimson thread in the air that contained Lee Seojin’s feelings for Kang Dohyuk.
“This beautiful crimson will become tainted black.”
It was a pitiful yet beautiful crimson. As transparent and pretty as the years of pure love he had given to Kang Dohyuk. It would be a shame for this color to turn black.
Releasing that thread, he grabbed the murky yellow thread wavering beside it. As he applied strength to his fingers, a white light formed, and the murky part of the thread seeped into Yeon’s hand. While the color of the thread remained unchanged, Yeon quietly exhaled as he confirmed it had become a clearer yellow than before.
“You… what are you really…?”
Lee Seojin’s eyes reddened. Soon after, large teardrops began to fall.
I’m sorry.
Yeon swallowed the words that lingered in his throat. Even those words would hurt this person. One who desired but couldn’t have, and one who was dragged into a persistent fate despite not wanting it… both were equally unable to find happiness.
Lee Seojin bit his lip, trying to swallow his tears, but they continued to fall silently. Bzzt. The sound of a vibrating phone broke the silence between them. Lee Seojin wiped his tears with the back of his hand and pressed the call button after checking the caller.
“Yes, this is Lee Seojin. …No. The Executive Director is… That’s impossible…”
Lee Seojin’s face turned pale as he looked at Yeon.
Just then, at the sound of the intercom, Yeon and Lee Seojin simultaneously looked at the intercom screen. Lee Seojin approached and pressed the button, illuminating the display.
[I know you’re in there. Open the door right now.]
Dohyuk’s face appeared, and his low voice was heard. Lee Seojin backed away, terrified. Yeon swallowed a sigh and approached the entrance.
“Don’t say anything.”
After urging Lee Seojin, Yeon opened the front door to see Kang Dohyuk standing like a statue. As soon as he confirmed it was Yeon, he grabbed Yeon’s wrist and pulled him sharply, causing Yeon to lean forward.
“You really were here.”
At the sound of Dohyuk’s heavy exhale, Lee Seojin flinched. When Dohyuk stepped inside with his shoes on, Lee Seojin instinctively backed away.
“I asked him.”
Yeon placed his hand over Dohyuk’s, which was gripping his wrist. Dohyuk turned to Yeon and frowned.
“I asked to stay here, and not to let Kang Dohyuk know. I requested it.”
Emphasizing once more that it was his will, not Lee Seojin’s, Dohyuk narrowed his eyes and stared at Yeon. Yeon met his gaze without avoiding it. After staring silently for a while, Dohyuk exhaled.
“I thought I told you that you have no talent. If you’re going to lie, do it more convincingly.”
He cut him off sharply and turned his eyes back to Lee Seojin.
“Kang Dohyuk.”
Yeon tried to pull his wrist free, drawing Dohyuk’s attention back to him.
“When Kang Sunhyuk came looking for Muryeong, it was my choice whether to accept his request or not. Can you guess why I accepted it?”
This time it wasn’t a lie, so he could face Dohyuk more directly. Dohyuk seemed to recognize the truth, as his brow furrowed.
“Because I thought Kang Sunhyuk might be one of the ill-fated connections entangled with Kang Dohyuk. Since you couldn’t touch that ill fate, I tried to sever it from Kang Sunhyuk’s side.”
Officially, Muryeong had declared Kang Dohyuk’s request completed, but Yeon believed nothing was finished. Kang Dohyuk’s ill fate still remained.
Dohyuk glared at Yeon with a rigid expression. Even while doing what he was told not to do, he showed not a hint of hesitation. Yes, this was what he was like. Even when Yeon was by his side, once he made up his mind, he would do whatever it took. So it was understandable that Yeon hadn’t ended the request that Muryeong had declared finished.
“I told you I don’t need it.”
“…”
He had said he didn’t need it many times, but once again, Yeon gave no response. He was determined to continue until he completely severed Dohyuk’s ill fate, or until that ill fate was resolved.
“Lee Seojin only protected me between Kang Sunhyuk and Kang Dohyuk.”
So that’s what he wanted to say. For reasons unknown, Yeon was trying to protect Lee Seojin. With Yeon taking this stance, it became impossible to interrogate Lee Seojin.
“I’ll deal with you separately later.”
Leaving these words for Lee Seojin, Dohyuk turned and left, pulling Yeon along.
Bang! With a loud noise, the front door closed, and Lee Seojin’s legs gave out as he collapsed. His heart was pounding so hard he couldn’t breathe properly.
He had sensed an enormous killing intent from Kang Dohyuk as he entered. People had always said Kang Dohyuk was cold and detached, but this was incomparable. He seemed like someone other than the Kang Dohyuk he knew.
The moment Dohyuk judged that he had betrayed him, he revealed his murderous intent without hesitation. It truly seemed… like he could kill.
“Haha…”
Lee Seojin burst into hollow laughter before starting to sob. His phone vibrated several times in short succession.
– When are you arriving? I can really do whatever I want, right?
– Are you sure it’s his first time? Did he consent? I’d prefer to avoid criminal activities
He had tried to sell Yeon to a gay porn producer he’d met on a gay website. He wanted to send Yeon somewhere overseas, anywhere Yeon could never return to Kang Dohyuk.
But Yeon had stopped him. When Yeon compared Lee Seojin’s feelings for Kang Dohyuk to a beautiful crimson, his resolve had weakened. Ironically, he never expected to have his pure love understood by someone he’d considered a rival.
“Whether he’s a shaman or not, he was an opponent I could never beat from the start…”
His feelings for Kang Dohyuk dissolved into the endless tears. And he was grateful to Yeon who had stopped him. As Yeon had said, he was truly grateful that Yeon had prevented him from forming an ill-fated connection with Kang Dohyuk.
