Chapter 12: Don’t Be Conscious of It
“Tell me about your work.”
When Dohyuk changed the subject, Yeon put down his spoon and met his gaze.
“You mentioned you can see connections other than ill-fated ones.”
Seemingly thinking there was no need to explain twice, Yeon remained silent.
“Then you’d also know if I have a fated marriage partner.”
He’d naturally answer yes. Most people get married, after all. Besides, Dohyuk was currently facing an arranged marriage with Baek Hyeri.
“Marriage……”
Yeon murmured Dohyuk’s words quietly. His blue eyes examined Dohyuk. His gaze, which had been shifting around as if searching for something, stopped as he exhaled deeply. Though his face seemed expressionless, a bitterness swept through his eyes. Dohyuk stared intently at Yeon, checking every single one of his small movements.
“For Kang Dohyuk-ssi……”
Yeon bit his lip slightly before releasing it. Dohyuk had planned to ask when and how this connection was formed if Yeon mentioned a fated marriage. The talks of an arranged marriage with Baek Hyeri and Yeon’s arrival at his home happened around the same time, so he was ready to mock any nonsense immediately.
“You have no fated marriage partner.”
Yeon answered clearly while looking straight at Dohyuk. It was even more shocking to hear such an ill-omened statement delivered in such a calm and composed voice.
“No one to marry?”
How would he explain Baek Hyeri’s existence then? Could she possibly choose Kang Sunhyuk or Kang Chahyuk instead of himself? No, this shaman bastard must be running a scam.
“Then I’ll need some kind of talisman, I suppose.”
When Dohyuk sarcastically asked if this was another way to make money, Yeon let out a small sigh.
“No talisman can create a connection that doesn’t exist.”
“You said ill-fated connections can form and disappear. Aren’t all connections the same? Your words are inconsistent.”
“Unlike ill-fated connections, destined relationships are predetermined fates from birth.”
Now he’s going on about destiny. Fine, let’s see how far he’ll take this.
“And I don’t have that fate?”
“……”
Yeon didn’t answer immediately and his lips tightened. Very subtly, a fine line appeared between his brows and then disappeared. If he was running a scam, he should remain calm until the end, but since mentioning the marriage fate, Yeon’s expression had subtly crumbled each time.
Dohyuk waited for further explanation, but Yeon stubbornly kept his mouth shut, adding nothing more. If he wanted to profit by talking about fate, shouldn’t he add more enticing words to captivate people? But there was none of that. He only furrowed his eyebrows in apparent discomfort.
“Well, it’s possible I don’t have one. I don’t know if you’re aware, but the man who is my father had three women, and apparently none of them were his destiny.”
So the conclusion was that even without destiny, one could still have children. In the end, it meant it made no difference in living one’s life.
“Rather than doing foolish things for love, maybe it’s better not to have it at all.”
He truly believed that. Come to think of it, the soft emotion called love that most people make a fuss about had never been connected to him. He was distant from affectionate feelings to the extent others called him cold.
“This makes it hard to even call you a fraud.”
Yeon’s unexpected answer had actually convinced Dohyuk.
It was interesting in many ways. Though Dohyuk couldn’t accept the shaman thing or the talk about cutting ill-fated connections, there were times when Yeon seemed to see right through him in unexpected ways.
Was it possible that unknowingly, he was also becoming captivated by that guy? He chuckled at the thought that crossed his mind. After all, he was only human. If he truly judged Yeon to be harmful, he could simply dispose of him immediately.
“You can come into my room tonight. But only if you follow my conditions.”
If you can enter naked, feel free. With their eyes locked, he raised the corner of his lips in a crooked smile. He was curious to see how Yeon would respond. Whether he could throw off those white shaman clothes wrapped tightly around his body, and if that doll-like face would flush with shame—he was genuinely curious.
***
Yeon sat on the living room sofa, staring at Dohyuk’s bedroom. Last night, he had readily agreed to follow the condition Dohyuk had set, but now that the moment had arrived, he hesitated.
‘Don’t let anyone touch you. If you do, I’ll cut off their head and display it in front of your room. There will be no exceptions, even for children or the elderly.’
A chilling warning flashed in his mind, making his body tremble. He swallowed hard and shook his head.
Kang Dohyuk is not ‘him.’ There was no rule saying that past obsession would repeat itself. However, the red thread tied to his fingers seemed to mock his thoughts as it undulated.
The face of Kang Dohyuk, who had scoffed that it was better not to have any connections or fate, flickered in his mind, causing a feeble laugh to escape. If only I could think like you, it would have been easier. Why do I always remember everything while you start with no knowledge?
Knowing was never happiness. Because he knew, he was repeatedly bound by this cursed fate.
That’s why he hesitated. Despite knowing that Kang Dohyuk wasn’t harboring lecherous desires in demanding he undress, memories buried deep in the darkness kept grabbing his ankles and pulling him down. It was as if they were beckoning, saying this is where you will ultimately fall.
He was startled by the sound of a door opening. Belatedly, he realized Kang Dohyuk was looking at him with narrowed eyes.
“You’re acting strange today.”
He seemed to understand what Dohyuk found strange. On the first day and yesterday, he had tried not to show any emotions in front of him. In reality, his emotions hadn’t wavered. But today, he was having trouble controlling the feelings that kept surging up.
It was because Kang Dohyuk had made an absurd request. Even though he knew there was no other intention, he was cautious because he knew it could potentially develop into something that would intertwine their fates.
“Ah……”
His gaze traveled from Dohyuk’s face downward, and a short moan escaped. Having just finished showering, Kang Dohyuk had only a towel wrapped around his waist. After worrying only about what he had to take off, suddenly seeing the other’s near-naked body was quite disconcerting.
“Are you conscious of me right now?”
Kang Dohyuk sneered with cold eyes.
“As if. You’re the one who needs to be completely naked to enter my room, so you shouldn’t be conscious of something like this.”
Dohyuk approached Yeon and lifted his chin. Dohyuk’s sculpture-like face filled Yeon’s vision.
“Make it clear whether you’re coming in or not. I don’t want to put a knife to your neck again after waking up like last night. You don’t want to leave here as a corpse either, right?”
It was a warning that if he entered without notice as he did last night, he would have no excuse even if he died this time.
“…I’m coming in.”
The discomfort and anxiety were all due to memories he alone possessed. If he approached it coldly as a matter of business like Kang Dohyuk, there would be no problem.
As he rose to remove his clothes, Dohyuk’s gaze followed. He untied his belt and took off his outer robe, placing it on the sofa. He grabbed the tie of his inner jacket but couldn’t muster the strength to untie it. As if his body had frozen regardless of his will, he couldn’t move while clutching the tie.
“Want me to untie it for you?”
Dohyuk asked with a cynical tone. His Adam’s apple bobbed noticeably as he swallowed the dryness in his mouth.
“No. It’s not necessary.”
There’s no need to be conscious of it. Nothing will happen. Just enter that room and do what you need to do while Dohyuk sleeps.
After reassuring himself once more, he untied his inner jacket. After removing the jacket from his arms and taking off his pants, Yeon, like Dohyuk who was only covering his center with a towel, was left with just one piece of underwear.
“Take off the rest.”
Dohyuk’s eyes were fixed on him. The cold gaze felt like it was choking him.
At Muryeong, he often bathed with others. This is no different from them. It’s strange to be conscious of it.
Dohyuk watched as Yeon, with slow but calm movements, removed his last piece of underwear. He had expected the sense of immaculate whiteness that had been bothering him to fade once Yeon removed his white clothes, but that wasn’t the case. His skin was also surprisingly white. It seemed that it wasn’t just his eyes and hair that had faded in color.
It was the body of a man like himself. A skinny body with no muscles or fat, lacking the soft curves of a woman—an unremarkable body. But why? He couldn’t take his eyes off it. He frowned at the sensation of a hot mass rising from inside his chest.
“Is this enough now?”
The quiet voice made the heat that had been dangerously surging subside abruptly.
Instead of answering, Dohyuk opened his bedroom door. With a nod indicating permission to enter, Yeon moved forward. Until he undressed, he had shown hesitation, but after being completely naked, he seemed rather composed.
Dohyuk lay on the bed, leaving Yeon standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. He didn’t think he could fall asleep with a stranger in his room, but he planned to at least pretend to sleep to see how Yeon would act.
“Your clothes……”
When Dohyuk lay down, the gap in his towel must have revealed his center, as Yeon turned his head away. It was amusing to see him embarrassed about seeing Dohyuk’s private parts when he himself was standing completely naked in front of him. And this was between two men.
“It shouldn’t matter how I appear in my own room.”
At Dohyuk’s response, Yeon’s lips could be seen pressing together slightly. For a moment, Dohyuk wondered if the guy was gay and that’s why he was embarrassed seeing another man’s body.
“May I cover my eyes?”
“Ah, sure.”
Since Dohyuk had explained the reason for covering his eyes last night, he let Yeon do as he pleased. Coincidentally, the cloth Yeon had used to cover his eyes at dawn was placed on the table. Looking relieved, Yeon picked up the cloth and covered his eyes.
Watching, Dohyuk clicked his tongue softly. The sight of Yeon completely naked with only his eyes covered by a white cloth felt quite provocative. He swore he had never once viewed that guy as an object of sexual desire. But now, this image appeared suggestively even to Dohyuk, who had been without any such intentions.
