# Chapter 20
The rain stopped 30 minutes after Yeomin arrived home.
So what? The house was already a complete mess.
Even in the midst of his mental breakdown, Yeomin first swept the water away with a broom and dustpan. The whole house seemed to smell like a sewer.
Yeomin, who had placed all the wet appliances up high, pulled out a pile of blankets in the dark room, unable to even turn on the lights.
“This is driving me crazy…”
As Yeomin struggled to pull out the damp mattress alone, reality hit him. Having not eaten all day, his body lacked strength.
This wasn’t something that could be fixed just by taking out one lousy mattress.
The landlord had said they would discuss what to do when morning came, but judging from his usual character… it was hard to expect any significant measures.
‘It seems like we’ll need to redo all the wallpaper. How am I going to pay for that?’
It might be faster to just abandon the place.
Yeomin found the cash he had hidden in the closet. A bundle of damp 50,000 won bills in his hand.
This would be enough to stay somewhere for a few days, but it was a ridiculously insufficient amount to find a new place.
‘Should I contact my family? Or even Joo Yeojin…’
Yeomin shook his head as he considered his options. Calling would only cause trouble.
It wasn’t out of consideration that his family might worry, but that it was obvious they wouldn’t be of any real help.
It’s easier to just stay like a beggar alone.
“…What is life?”
Yeomin muttered gloomily. He wanted to sit down, but the floor was too dirty to even do that.
“Why is every day a trap card? Can’t even one day pass without issues?”
Even the usually stoic Yeomin sometimes found things overwhelming.
When no matter how much you deal with, there’s no end. Why do I have to face these trials? When it feels unfair.
If he stayed looking at this house for just five more minutes, he felt like he’d really get depression. Yeomin grabbed only his wet money and phone and left the house impulsively.
What was more depressing was that having left like that, he had nowhere to go.
“…”
Should I contact Lee Taeyang? He said he was meeting his girlfriend this morning, so he’s probably still with her. Or maybe I should explain my situation to the PC bang manager…
Yeomin trudged down the wet path.
Then suddenly he stopped by a car parked in the alley. His completely soaked reflection appeared in the car window.
“…What a state I’m in.”
It was a look he didn’t want to show to anyone, including Manager Cha. He should go to a sauna and wash up, but he didn’t even have the energy for that.
‘What would change anyway?’
This miserable smell from his body wouldn’t disappear no matter how much he scrubbed.
His wet body began to shiver.
“…Cold.”
Yeomin slumped down on a plastic chair in front of the convenience store.
He tried to calm himself, saying it was okay, but tears forced their way out. Yeomin rubbed his eyes with his hand holding the 50,000 won bill.
The only good thing was that he was so soaked that one couldn’t tell whether it was tears or rainwater.
“This is really the worst.”
Why did it have to catch his eye? The three characters written on his soaking wet slippers: <Jiho’s>.
‘Or maybe I should contact Seol Jiho…’
Yeomin shook his head as he thought unconsciously.
What was I just thinking? I must be really desperate. A sigh as damp as rainwater poured out.
That’s when something unfamiliar entered Yeomin’s field of vision. White sneakers without a single drop of water on them, completely out of place in the otherwise murky and dirty landscape.
“…”
Yeomin very slowly moved his gaze along those sneakers.
Gradually raising his head, he was surprised for a moment at the face he saw. Then, unknowingly, he felt relieved.
“Why are you out here?”
“Seol Jiho…”
“You’re completely soaked.”
That a single familiar face could provide such comfort… it was evidence of how tough the day had been. His nose instantly stung with emotion.
In fact, there was one thing that no one knew about Yeomin – not his family, not Joo Yeojin, not Lee Taeyang, not anyone.
The truth is, sometimes Joo Yeomin doesn’t want to be alone. Like today.
Whether he came knowing this or not, Seol Jiho had appeared at a surprisingly perfect timing. Was this guy a villain to him, or a blessing?
Yeomin stopped trying to judge. Whatever this guy’s identity was, at this moment, the desperate feeling of not wanting to be alone was the same.
* * *
This happened when Yeomin was much younger, in elementary school.
When school ended, it was pouring rain heavily. The only umbrella at home was with Yeojin, and Yeomin thought they would share it and go home together once his noona finished her class.
The other children were either picked up by their parents or shared umbrellas with friends as they went home.
Yeomin had been standing in front of Yeojin’s classroom for quite a while when her teacher told him that Yeojin had already gone home. (Joo Yeojin had wanderlust even then.)
Eventually, young Yeomin returned home alone in the rain.
In the house, with both parents gone to work, he took off his wet clothes and waited for evening, shivering.
‘Cold…’
Waiting for his noona who had gone out with friends to return. Waiting for his parents who had gone to work to come home.
What was hardest for Yeomin to endure at that time wasn’t the damp textbooks and clothes, nor the familiar hunger.
It was the waiting without context and the loneliness that couldn’t be resolved. That was the hardest part.
That’s what it felt like. Waiting for someone. It was a clammy and cold feeling, like wet clothes.
Hating that feeling, Yeomin always guarded against feelings of longing for someone or feeling empty.
It wasn’t because he was comfortable being alone. In fact, Yeomin doesn’t like being alone. It’s a really terrible feeling.
“Hyung, you look too cold.”
Yeomin stared blankly at Jiho.
Jiho took off the jacket he was wearing and placed it over Yeomin’s shoulders. That expensive coat, without a moment’s hesitation.
Then he worried about Yeomin’s condition.
“You’re shaking too much. Why are you so wet? Did you get caught in the rain?”
To Yeomin, Seol Jiho was still as uncomfortable as wet clothes.
Not only that, but they fundamentally didn’t match. Their birth, upbringing, way of thinking, manner of speaking. Everything was different.
It was burdensome how he acted overly familiar, and he also disliked that he couldn’t understand what was going on inside this guy’s head.
Could emotional exchange with him be possible? The answer came immediately, even without deep thought.
No.
But despite all that,
“…You know, Seol Jiho.”
At this moment. Yeomin had to admit it.
That he needed someone right now. That he desperately needed to grab onto something.
And the person who appeared before him now was none other than Seol Jiho.
Yeomin’s lips trembled as he spoke. He looked truly pitiful.
“I’m sorry I chased you away.”
Yeomin suddenly apologized.
“I’m sorry for sending you off like that. I shouldn’t have done that. I acted childishly.”
“…”
“So…”
Jiho looked at Yeomin with expectant eyes.
“So, what? Continue, hyung.”
Yeomin chewed on his lips anxiously. After an eternity of hesitation, he gathered courage and grabbed Jiho’s sleeve.
Like grabbing at a straw, it was the only option available to him.
“So this time, Seol Jiho, please help me. I need you.”
“…”
“You said it yourself. That next time you’d save me.”
It seemed like something he could never say. But once he spit it out, he felt both empty and relieved, as if he had faced the end of the world.
This version of himself was so unfamiliar even to himself, but Jiho didn’t ask what had happened or why he was acting this way. There were no follow-up questions.
He simply embraced Yeomin, who was soaked like a damp piece of paper, without hesitation.
Yeomin’s wet hair left water marks on Jiho’s white shirt.
“Poor hyung.”
Jiho’s firm hand patted Yeomin’s back. Incredibly, that gesture gave Yeomin a sense of stability.
‘I want to rest…’
While Yeomin was thinking blankly, Jiho’s hand tightened. Yeomin flinched as Jiho grabbed his shoulders.
His straight lips drew closer to Yeomin’s ear. Jiho spoke in a very affectionate voice.
“I will, hyung. I’ll save you.”
“…Okay.”
“…”
“Even if you end up throwing me away later, just pick me up right now. I don’t care what you do…”
Yeomin was still confused about whether the Jiho before him wanted to devour him, or if he was wagging his tail because he liked him.
But it didn’t matter either way. He just didn’t want to go back to that dark, narrow house alone.
“This time I’m the one who picked you up, hyung. So I’ll do as I please.”
Jiho whispered, as if engraving it into Yeomin’s mind. Then he looked into his eyes and smiled. So brightly.
The fact that he could smile like that in front of someone who was in despair… it was probably evidence that this guy wasn’t normal.
But Yeomin felt comfort in the strong grip on his shoulders.
