# Chapter 85
“……”
When I mentioned Uncle, he firmly closed his mouth. The prolonged silence made me doubt I would get an answer from him.
It was only natural. If it were me, I probably wouldn’t have been foolish enough to reveal my thoughts either.
He would never tell me the truth in his lifetime. And expecting a normal response from Hund was ridiculous in itself.
“Forget it. I didn’t really expect to get an answer anyway. But if you have no intention of telling me, I won’t stay quiet anymore either.”
At my quiet murmur, he chuckled softly, as if finding something amusing.
“Well, that’s…”
With those brief words, the call ended. Looking at the screen after the abrupt disconnection, I realized the power had gone off and wouldn’t turn back on. I couldn’t tell if Hund had hung up or if the battery had simply died.
It felt like my barely calmed insides were crumbling again. With no other choice, I bought a charger at a nearby convenience store and immediately purchased a bus ticket to Paris.
Whatever happened, it seemed better to travel from Paris than from this small city.
Perhaps because it was in the Paris suburbs, the bus to Paris was overflowing with people. I boarded the bus with my heavy luggage and charged my phone. During that time, my chaotic thoughts began to settle somewhat.
By the time the bus had picked up some speed, I visited the website for Woosang’s current project.
There, as expected, was the name of the city where Woosang was now.
‘Cologne. Fortunately, it’s not too far.’
A sensation that couldn’t be distinguished between relief or the disappearance of a small tension filled me.
I didn’t like the fact that the city where he was staying was so openly available to the world. Even though this was normal, I couldn’t understand why my insides felt so compressed.
Even if I resolved my relationship with Hund, everything I had done until now wouldn’t completely disappear. That meant Woosang could be pursued at any time while staying with me.
‘Let’s not think that far for now.’
After laying out thoughts that tormented myself, I changed my mind. There wasn’t enough time to be depressed. Especially not now, when it was suffocating to the point of breathlessness.
I gazed endlessly at the changing scenery from the swaying bus. I also checked the bus times from Paris to Cologne in advance. The relatively short distance was somewhat reassuring.
In just a few hours, I would arrive in an unfamiliar foreign country. And there, I might organize the baggage I had carried.
I wondered where I would stay after this long journey ended. There was so much to do.
So there was no time to hesitate.
***
By the time I arrived at the performance hall, all of today’s schedule had naturally ended.
If there had been an incident, the inside or outside of the hall should have been noisy, but seeing no trace, it seemed Hund hadn’t caused any trouble as expected.
Just then, a call came in. It was from Woosang.
“Hello?”
“Hello? You called earlier?”
“…Yes. Where are you now?”
“I’m at the accommodations, of course.”
Beyond Woosang’s voice, I could hear Bel asking who the call was from.
That voice reassured me, and I sighed deeply, finally asking him how he was.
“Have you been well?”
“Yes, I’ve been fine. I’ve just been at the performances and in the accommodations.”
“I’m actually in Cologne right now. Where are your accommodations?”
Surprised by my words, he asked “Really?” and then kindly said he would send the location via message.
“See you shortly.”
“Yes.”
After ending the call, a short line of address came in a message. I entered the address into the map and walked slowly.
Fortunately, the accommodations were at most a 10-minute walk from the performance hall.
I entered the hotel elevator and pressed the bell for the room number he had given me. Soon, busy sounds came from inside, and Woosang opened the door.
“Welcome.”
Woosang, whom I hadn’t seen for a few days, seemed to be in a good mood. I wanted to hug him briefly, but seeing Bel peering from behind, I withdrew my outstretched hand and entered.
“Nothing unusual happened, right?”
“No. I’ve been busy with performances.”
As if his words were true, Bel also complained about when this damned performance would end.
“Are you leaving early tomorrow too?”
“No. Practice is finished now, so I only need to leave before the performance time in the afternoon.”
“I see…”
“It’s late, so let’s sleep now and talk tomorrow. Bel, you’re going to sleep too, right?”
“Yes.”
Both of them had already prepared for bed, wearing comfortable clothes. It was already past 1 AM. I had clearly woken them both up.
“Oh, this clothing…”
Woosang grabbed the hem of my shirt and looked at it for a while. He seemed to have noticed that I was wearing clothes from our Paris home.
“I stopped by home on my way. Ah, I brought something for Woosang to wear too…”
From my heavy bag, I pulled out a top that Woosang often wore. He looked at it and suddenly began to smell it.
“So this is how our home smells. It’s been so long since I’ve been there, I don’t even remember.”
“Once the performance ends, we’ll go back. When we go back…”
I didn’t want to leave home until I got sick of it. I wanted to bury ourselves there forever, staying until we suffocated.
As if reading my thoughts, he simply nodded and handed the clothes back to me. Pushed by him to go wash up, I showered and then approached the darkened bed.
Bel, still unable to sleep, was reading a book with only the bedside lamp on, and Woosang was also looking up something on his phone.
“Aren’t you sleeping?”
“We should. Bel, you’re going to sleep too, right?”
“Yes. Shall I turn off the light?”
“Yes.”
It seemed they had been waiting for me to come out. With the lights off, the three of us got into bed and only our breathing sounds were heard.
I wanted to ask Woosang if anything had happened, but for now, I just wanted to spend this night safely.
My fingertips touched Woosang’s waist. I couldn’t understand why the body temperature I had felt just a few days ago was so missed.
I buried myself in him, erasing my chaotic thoughts. Even when endlessly anxious, just being beside him brought an almost impossibly peaceful feeling.
I liked this sensation. So someday, I wanted to completely erase my anxiety beside him and be loved.
***
For a long time, I heard rustling sounds. I tried to ignore them because my body felt heavy, but soon a familiar hand shook my body and even called me loudly.
“We need to get up and leave now.”
“…What time is it?”
“Nine in the morning.”
It felt like I hadn’t even slept three hours, so it was hard to believe it was already that time. Looking around, Bel and Woosang seemed to have already finished preparing to go out. Embarrassed by their staring gazes, I also prepared to go out.
After finishing preparations, I followed Woosang and Bel outside. The two seemed to be discussing where to go, leaving me behind.
Just a few hours ago, my whole body ached with tension, but now I was puzzled by how incredibly relaxed I felt.
Since I had come over late yesterday, I hadn’t noticed, but as the day brightened, I saw a very large structure at the edge of my vision.
As I stared at it for a while, Woosang pointed at the structure with his finger.
“Would you like to go?”
“What? No, it’s okay.”
“Really? You can go if you want to…”
Sometimes when I looked around, I was the only one surprised by new scenery, while Woosang seemed largely uninterested. I had always been curious about this attitude but never easily asked, so I gathered courage and asked him.
“You don’t seem very interested in sightseeing.”
“It’s not particularly that… But when you go to famous tourist spots like that, there are so many people asking for money that I don’t really go.”
“I, I see.”
He stopped slightly and whispered in my ear.
“If they were really asking for money because they’re poor, that would be one thing, but usually people asking for money in places like that operate in organizations. Like companies. So don’t carelessly give money just because they look pitiful. They probably have more money than Teo.”
Come to think of it, I had heard about this before when I was working. I recalled someone joking that people begging on the streets were all our colleagues.
But more surprising than this fact was that Woosang knew about it. These things didn’t seem particularly shocking to him.
His casual tone sometimes sounded sharp, but it also seemed like he was deliberately ignoring things.
Is Woosang really indifferent to life in this complex world?
Someday, I wanted to deeply hear about the negative emotions he harbored. Perhaps Woosang would no longer avoid and would speak honestly.
‘Because he promised to do so.’
Just then, the two found the store they were looking for, and we went inside and had a simple meal. Since I had recently been making do with dry bread, dining together was extremely satisfying.
The two talked for a long time, saying the food wasn’t very good, but I didn’t say anything particular.
Bel said she would go smoke for a moment and headed to an alley, and while waiting for her, we leaned against an empty wall and looked around.
Then I asked him in a serious voice.
“Nothing unusual happened, right?”
“Of course nothing unusual happened.”
Listening to his calm voice, I searched for any sign that he might be hiding something. But as always, I wasn’t confident in reading his emotions.
“……”
At my silence, Woosang looked at me for a long time and then calmly called me.
“Teo.”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to kill that man?”
He asked casually, as if already knowing my thoughts. Wondering if I had misheard, I just moved my lips and had a blank expression.
“I already know that the man who came looking for us is here.”
“……”
I couldn’t easily answer his words. If asked whether I would kill him, of course I would finish it, but I didn’t want to tell Woosang that fact.
I didn’t want to expose myself. There was no need to show such a sordid side in front of him.
“You need to be clear. Whether you’ll kill him, or keep running away.”
He now met my eyes as if demanding an answer.
