# Chapter 44
‘Is he calling me?’
I couldn’t tell. Even in this area alone, there must be at least three more people named Teo. Before I could turn to see who was calling, all I noticed was Woosang’s face showing his displeasure.
Belatedly, I looked in the direction of the voice. There was Oliver, who had been persistently texting me, walking toward us.
“Why…”
“……”
I’m pretty sure when we first met, he said he wouldn’t stay in Paris long, so how was he still here?
Confused, I looked at Woosang. The last person to exchange messages with him wasn’t me but Woosang. However, he was pretending not to know, looking in a completely different direction. I couldn’t help but sigh.
“Hello.”
“Yes, oh. Were you really French?”
“…Pardon?”
Oliver asked me a strange question.
Come to think of it, did he originally know how to speak French? Something felt off. Oliver, who spoke French naturally despite his completely different accent, smiled brightly.
Then with his familiar speech pattern, my head started to spin. I recognized that accent. The words and tone I knew so well felt like they were digging up a past I’d been trying to forget.
“…You speak French?”
“Yes. Ah, didn’t I mention it?”
“……”
Ignoring the awkward silence, he continued talking.
“I lived in Quebec when I was young. Since French seems more comfortable for you, I’ll just speak like this. Is that okay?”
“What…?”
The name of a city I had forgotten burst from his lips. I hadn’t really forgotten, but memories of that place I’d forcibly tried to erase slowly returned.
The never-ending screams. The peace I felt when I wasn’t left alone. The loneliness.
Things I’d forgotten, but couldn’t truly forget, came to mind.
If someone I met by chance was from the same hometown as me and had persistently contacted me wanting to meet, was it some kind of signal?
Of course, Quebec isn’t a small place. Anyone could come to Europe from there. He initially told me he was from Australia.
Certainly, there are plenty of people like me who have moved from where they lived. But this situation was abnormal.
I just blinked, searching for what to say, but couldn’t find the right words. This was precisely when I needed Woosang. I slowly turned my head toward him and met his gaze. As if he’d read my anxiety, he said goodbye to Oliver with a polite smile and friendly tone.
“We have plans, so we’ll be going now. Have a good trip.”
“I’ll be staying here for a while.”
“I see. Well, enjoy your stay.”
“Hey, wait. Teo!”
I heard him calling me from behind, but I didn’t want to hear it at all. I didn’t want to face him until my thoughts were sorted out.
“Damn it…”
I worried that my trembling voice might have been noticeable, but it didn’t seem so. After hesitating, I took Woosang’s hand and began walking. I moved forward with quick steps.
I needed to head home right now. I had to figure out whether this was just my paranoia or a tangled problem crashing down on us. Yes. Home. Home. If we reached there, we would surely be safe.
‘Safe?’
In truth, I knew. There was no safe place for us here. Unless we left Europe, no one could guarantee our safety here.
Hund had already discovered where we lived, and we had fled from him. Yet I returned to this house because I thought Hund had abandoned me. But if that wasn’t the case, would we have to hide somewhere else again?
From the beginning, there was no place to hide.
After walking for quite some time, I stopped right there. Then I carefully turned my head to look at Woosang. He was looking at me with worried eyes.
“Are you okay?”
When I faced Woosang who asked about my well-being without asking for any reasons, I felt like I could breathe again.
“What’s wrong? Your face is pale…”
“Well…”
What exactly should I explain? Should I tell him that man knows about me? Or should I remain silent? If Oliver had wanted to kill me, he could have done so already.
I couldn’t guess what Oliver’s purpose might be. Was he really just a traveler who learned French in Canada by chance? Or was he pressure from someone sent to threaten me?
My jumping thoughts wouldn’t settle. But what I had learned while living with Woosang was that running away wasn’t always the answer.
“If I…”
Afraid my anxiety might be sensed, I cleared my throat once and spoke again.
“If I wanted to go somewhere else, would you come with me?”
The words that came out of my mouth were a small plea. I was angry at myself for saying it, but right now, I wanted to hear warm words from Woosang.
“Of course. I told you I don’t mind going anywhere.”
“Even if it’s not in Europe?”
“That wouldn’t be bad either.”
Woosang, who answered as if it were obvious, seemed to have no hesitation. Another place. If we who had already fled countless times were to leave again, where would it be? I was curious myself. A place where we could comfortably look at each other.
The extravagant thoughts kept coming.
“No. I just wanted to ask.”
“Let’s go home now. We can look at the market tomorrow.”
I nodded and carefully took a step.
What was Woosang thinking? Wasn’t he curious about how I felt, acting like we had to return to Paris only to suggest leaving Paris again? I wanted to ask him why he didn’t question why I froze when I saw Oliver.
Words rolled around in my mouth. My throat was dry with stuffiness.
‘What was it like when I lived in Canada?’
Actually, I couldn’t remember anything. Only that the snow-covered winter forest was my happiness and that the house, which was warmer than outside, was an unhappy place. I had tried to forget all of that past when I came to France.
It was a memory that deserved to be forgotten.
Upon arriving home, I took off my coat and sat down on the sofa. It felt like all the tension had drained from my body. Woosang brewed tea for me and carefully placed it in front of me.
“Is it because of that man earlier?”
“…Maybe.”
Woosang made an unreadable expression, as if puzzled by my answer. I could see his anxiety in his eyes. Was he anxious that I might leave again? That couldn’t be the case. I am now a person who cannot leave for anywhere.
His trembling expression actually reassured me. He still wants to be with me. That’s enough.
Fortunately, my racing thoughts seemed to have settled a bit.
“So are you going to leave Paris?”
“No. I want to stay here.”
“…I see.”
I heard his response, which sounded like a sigh.
Looking at Woosang, I suddenly felt the desire to be close to him. Somehow, I thought if I could feel Woosang’s warmth, this unidentifiable anxiety would be alright.
It was a selfish thought. Yet, words naturally flowed from my mouth.
“Will you teach me the waltz?”
“Now?”
“Yes, now.”
Although he showed reluctance, he didn’t easily say no. That reaction greatly pleased me. Carefully getting up from the sofa, we stood facing each other in one corner of the living room. Woosang seemed to be thinking for a long time about how to teach me.
‘I’m glad. That Woosang is by my side.’
Even if I lived forever, Woosang would probably never know my heart. Before I knew it, the fear was gradually subsiding. Even if Oliver had approached us with different intentions, it didn’t matter. No one would be able to hurt us.
‘I’m sure of it.’
“Okay. Put one hand around my waist. The other hand here…”
“Yes.”
Pretending to put my hand around his waist, I burrowed in and buried my face in Woosang’s chest.
Surprised, he paused for a moment, then slightly leaned his body toward me. It was a position where we could fully feel each other’s warmth.
His shallow breath touched my nape, making it tickle. I listened to his heartbeat and took a breath. It couldn’t be any warmer.
We seemed to have been outside in the cold just a moment ago, but unlike me, Woosang’s body held warmth as if it were burning.
“Did you ask me to teach you just to make a move?”
“How is this making a move?”
“……”
His oddly accelerated heartbeat was pleasant to hear. The fact that Woosang’s heart still beat for me was unbearably sweet. I raised my gaze to look at him. His eyes, which I thought would be lukewarm, were looking at me sharply.
“Is this because we ran into that guy earlier?”
“I wonder.”
When I muttered as if avoiding the question, he laughed softly. Yet, he looked at me with worried eyes. He seemed to want an explanation.
I still had nothing to say.
Suddenly feeling incredibly shabby under Woosang’s gaze, but this was always our way.
In front of him, I was an infinitely shabby and insignificant person, and he said that when he stood before me, he was a more miserable human than anyone else.
How much more time would I need to shed this past in front of him and stand as a whole person?
Worry swelled up in my heart again. Knowing this, Woosang whispered to me.
“Forget about the other guy.”
“Right. Now really teach me the waltz.”
“Seriously?”
I nodded. I liked Woosang’s expression that showed he couldn’t understand. I felt tense at the slow enveloping of his hand. After listening to his simple explanation, I slowly took a step and spoke in the calm silence.
“I’m thinking of starting work.”
“…Work?”
His feet stopped. I forced him to continue and continued speaking.
“The bookstore nearby. I want to try working there. Then Woosang can come check on me whenever, and when work is done, we can go home together…”
“……”
The setting sun that was completely fading entered the room. In the space that was growing darker, only we were moving slightly. I looked at Woosang who gave no answer. In the past, I would have been anxious at such a reaction from him, but now it was different.
I felt joyful at this small growth.
“What do you think about me starting work now?”
“I need time too.”
I know. We will need more time than expected, and impatience won’t bring good results. But I wanted to see him working. That version of Woosang flickered in my mind.
“When you dance again, I’ll try talking about my past too.”
Haha. I gave an awkward laugh. Even without seeing his expression, I could picture what face he would be making.
“You’re getting more and more cunning.”
“I learned it all from you…”
In the space that had now completely darkened, only our pupils were shining. We needed to turn on the light.
I pulled away from him and turned on a small lamp nearby. We looked at the light reflected in each other.
Now both Woosang and I were vaguely aware of what we needed to do.
