# Chapter 16
“I’ve been focusing on performance preparations lately. That’s probably why I was able to hold up quite well.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“Please don’t say that anymore.”
After exchanging such uncomfortable yet not uncomfortable greetings and making pointless small talk, we soon arrived at the bus stop.
While silently waiting for the bus, it didn’t take long before the bus heading home slowly stopped in front of us.
I let go of his hand and boarded the bus. That’s when Woosang silently boarded the same bus.
“…Doesn’t this bus not go to Woosang’s place?”
“Were you just going to send me home?”
“What?”
“It’s okay for me to go to Teo’s place, right?”
“……”
I blinked and then quietly nodded.
Woosang smiled pleasantly, took a seat, and then gestured for me to join him.
I followed him to sit down and silently looked out the window. Staring blankly outside like this made me feel as if I were floating in the sky.
Woosang was beside me. I could feel his warmth as he sat there.
Unable to believe it, I looked at his face, and Woosang made eye contact and casually grasped my hand tightly.
I was startled as my breath caught, but once again, he didn’t let go of my hand.
When we arrived home and looked outside, the sun was already setting. I turned on the lights and carefully checked if anything was messy.
Fortunately, there weren’t any particular traces left.
Woosang put down his bag and naturally opened the refrigerator door, then after confirming it was empty like last time, he looked at me expressionlessly.
“Teo.”
“…Yes.”
“Now I see why you’ve lost weight.”
I blinked and quietly nodded.
He seemed to have a lot to say, but thankfully, he didn’t say anything.
Then he said he wanted to take a shower and borrowed underwear and clothes from me before heading to the bathroom. I let out a sigh of relief and prepared some ice water for Woosang to drink when he came out.
Woosang staying in my space as if it were natural.
Though it felt so unfamiliar, it was something I had dreamed of, so I needlessly looked in the mirror to fix my hair and cleaned the house again.
‘How will we live from now on?’
Does Woosang want something from me? And is there something I can do for Woosang? I wanted to do anything for him. I was willing to do whatever I could.
Just then, he came out of the bathroom, shaking his not-completely-dry hair. I blankly stared at him before handing him the ice water I had prepared.
After receiving his thanks, I was staring at him blankly again when I realized Woosang was already looking at me too.
As I unconsciously gulped, he approached me with his usual smile.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Just… it’s strange having Woosang in our house.”
“I feel the same.”
“What would you like to eat? There’s nothing at home, but… we could go grocery shopping, or else…”
“…Or else?”
“…Should we go out to eat?”
I quickly turned around and needlessly took out my phone, turning on the power that had been off.
As I fumbled around making meaningless movements, Woosang came up behind me and casually embraced my back.
His chest against my back felt incredibly hot. Perhaps because he had just showered, it felt like his warm temperature was being transferred to me.
The sound of a faintly beating heart reached my ears.
I couldn’t quite distinguish if it was my heartbeat or his.
He and I were touching. Wondering if this was a dream, I turned my head slightly to see Woosang looking into my eyes from a lower eye level, smiling faintly.
His face, more dazzling than what I’d seen in my dreams, approached me. I stood still, just watching him come closer, then hurriedly came to my senses and subtly pushed him away.
He moved back without saying anything, as if nothing had happened. My breath caught, and I couldn’t think of what to say.
‘Dinner, no, talk with him, but he must be tired, should we have dinner first, or maybe sleep.’
My mind was so chaotic I couldn’t organize my thoughts. Noticing my confusion, Woosang silently just looked at me.
“Then dinner, shall we go get dinner? We could take a walk while we’re at it.”
“…Sure. We should buy groceries on our way back. Shall we go somewhere around here?”
“Yes, yes.”
I hurriedly gathered my wallet and stuffed my phone into my back pocket. Woosang was about to take off the shorts I had lent him and put on the pants he had originally worn.
I thought about whether I had any clothes that could fit him, but all my clothes would probably be too big for Woosang. As I hesitated for a while, Woosang gestured for us to hurry and leave, saying he was fully dressed. I let out a small sigh and followed him.
I wonder if he knows what I’m feeling.
I hope he doesn’t know.
“Teo, if it’s okay, shall we meet with Bel tomorrow, the three of us?”
“With Bel?”
“Yes. She just messaged me, and if it’s okay with you, she wants to meet up, the three of us tomorrow.”
“Ah, sure.”
When I nodded, Woosang quickly sent a reply to Bel. Woosang’s friend Bel showed a lot of interest in me.
Rather than romantic interest, she seemed curious about me as someone Woosang was close with.
“Bel was very worried about Teo.”
Bel worried about me? That couldn’t be true. Bel wasn’t worried about me but was probably only concerned that Woosang might get hurt.
Still, I forced a smile and withheld my response.
Woosang said he couldn’t trust anyone, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wasn’t loved.
Looking back, many people liked Woosang. But they also seemed to vaguely know that he couldn’t fully trust others.
Especially Bel, who was close to Woosang, understood that subtle atmosphere well.
A person who can’t trust others. People who want to give affection to such a person.
To them, my existence might be something pitiable.
‘Can I really give him faith and trust?’
I wasn’t confident, but I wanted to.
I wanted us to become important people to each other, both for him and for me.
After blinking a couple of times, I looked at Woosang, who was using his phone.
His black hair was swaying slightly with the wind. As if enchanted, I approached Woosang and took his hand.
Woosang looked up at me with surprised eyes. Soon, his eyes creased slightly as he smiled beautifully.
I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I didn’t want to look away from him now.
Walking silently like that, we soon arrived at the restaurant.
“It’s been a while since we’ve been here.”
“…Yes, it has.”
The restaurant we visited after almost three weeks somehow felt familiar. When I visited other restaurants alone, everything felt strange, but now everything was familiar.
Before long, a waiter approached us and handed us menus. Woosang asked what I would choose, and as always, I took his recommendation.
The atmosphere was natural. I couldn’t gauge how long it had been since I felt such stability and happiness. I couldn’t believe I had tried to give up this happiness.
Though the restaurant was filled with many people, it felt as if only we existed in this space.
I blankly stared at Woosang as he waited for our order.
Watching him respond naturally to the indifferent waiter, I felt like I was just being too childish.
I felt embarrassed for always waiting for what he would say and only speaking appropriate words.
With mixed feelings, I buried my face in the menu and listened to their conversation.
Woosang was asking the waiter for good wine recommendations and choosing what he liked. Soon, the waiter confirmed the order and naturally left.
As I stared at Woosang, he looked back at me with a puzzled expression.
“Wine, how do you even choose it? It seems like you pick different types every time we go to a restaurant….”
“Actually, I don’t know much about wine brands either. I only started drinking wine after coming to France… But Teo usually eats meat often. Since red wine goes well with beef, I usually order red wine. And since you seem to like fruity and fragrant wines, I’ve been getting recommendations like that every time.”
I was so surprised by the unexpected answer that I couldn’t respond and just froze. I didn’t know what to say, realizing he had figured out my preferences that even I wasn’t aware of.
Somehow my face felt hot. As I stayed like that for a while, Woosang rested his chin on his hand and looked at me.
“Teo gets more embarrassed at times like this than when I touch him.”
“…*cough*”
I choked on my saliva and broke into small coughs. With a bright red face, I crumpled my lips and said,
“Stop teasing me.”
“Alright.”
He smiled as if nothing had happened. Looking at him, a peculiar tingling sensation spread through part of my chest.
“I’m so happy.”
“About what?”
“Just being here like this now. It’s wonderful just to be able to come back here.”
“…Me too.”
Woosang showed a happy expression at my answer. He seemed to be in a better mood than usual.
There was no reason for him not to be as excited as I was. That fact made me happiest of all.
From time to time, Woosang had said things that seemed to tease me, but I didn’t know how to avoid falling for such jokes easily.
Fumbling in embarrassment was always the best I could do.
There was so much to learn. How to respond to such conversations, and how to show happiness.
Still, I was happy. At this moment, I felt completely alive.
To stop my pounding heart, I tried to breathe in and out inconspicuously.
Fortunately, my heated face seemed to cool down after a while. Moreover, the food we ordered was coming out one by one. We smiled as we took a sip of the wine poured by the waiter.
It was the most perfect meal ever. We sat together in the same place again and wanted each other.
Though I couldn’t know the clear answer, somehow it felt like we could find that answer this way.
We might be able to reach a happy ending like in stories.
A joy I had never felt in my entire life was slowly rising from my legs. It was the first complete happiness I had ever experienced.
It felt as if this scene was painted before my eyes, making me think I could disappear right now and it would be fine.
But I still had to live. I wanted to experience all of this.
I thought to myself. Right now, this happiness was about finding certainty.
