# Chapter 103
I stood absentmindedly in front of the crosswalk outside the store, waiting for the light to change. Shortly after, the signal changed, and I crossed between pedestrians with large strides, tightly gripping the bag in my hand.
If I relaxed my tension even slightly, I felt like the conversation I had with the employee earlier would resurface, so I couldn’t release the tension from my body even for a moment.
Just then, I heard hurried footsteps from behind. As the sound grew faster, I turned around wondering what was happening, only to have my shoulder ruthlessly struck by a busy-looking pedestrian passing by.
“…!”
“Ah, I’m sorry!”
Startled, I dropped the bag I was holding onto the ground. With a light thud, the fallen bag lay conspicuously among the people around me.
The person who had bumped into me did offer a brief apology, but they seemed to be in a hurry and passed by without properly facing me.
“…What the.”
Flustered and unable to decide what to do, I lingered in the same spot for a while before picking up the fallen bag.
I dusted off the dirt on the bag and gently rubbed my shoulder where I had been hit. It didn’t seem to be injured particularly.
Just then, my hands and fingers, one by one, caught my attention as I was massaging my shoulder.
‘I thought you were single since you don’t have a ring…’
The employee had definitely said that. With that short sentence, the joints of my fingers, which I had never thought about before, suddenly felt empty and lonely.
Since I didn’t usually wear any accessories and had no intention of doing so, the employee’s words seemed to have awakened something I had never considered.
Woosang, like me, wasn’t particularly interested in decorating himself, and especially while doing dance, I had never seen him wear anything on his hands or arms.
If something were to be placed on the tips of our fingers, would it make us appear a little more special to others?
Of course, there was no need to be swayed by someone else’s words. But if such a small element could show our connection, it didn’t seem like such a bad thing.
“……”
I stopped on the wide road and watched the many people passing by me. Looking at people with whom I had no connection, I once again gazed at the space between my fingers.
Soon, I clenched my hand tightly and slowly traced my way back to where I belonged.
Though my thoughts were heavy, making my steps slow, the pace wasn’t bad for sorting out my thoughts.
***
Click. The sound of a key being inserted into the doorknob was heard. I quickly got up from the living room sofa where I had been reading a book and ran to the entrance.
10 AM. I had heard it takes a full 5 hours by train to return from Toronto to Montreal. Since I thought he would need more time to return, the sound I heard seemed unfamiliar.
The door opened smoothly, and Woosang entered with an indifferent expression.
“I’m back.”
“Welcome home.”
Woosang took off his shoes and handed me the bag he had been carrying on his back. I immediately took the bag and went inside first.
“Was everything alright?”
“……”
“Hm?”
“What? Yes. I just stayed at home without any issues. What about you?”
“Nothing much happened to me either. I just had a simple interview and had meals, that’s all.”
Woosang, who went straight to the bathroom to wash his hands, seemed a bit tired as he pressed his eyes with his wet hands, trying to drive away sleep.
Watching him from behind, I casually asked.
“Are you tired? Do you want to take a nap? Or would you like some tea?”
“Hmm… I’m a bit tired, so I’ll sleep for 30 minutes.”
“You can sleep longer if you want. Do you have any other plans for today?”
“No, I just didn’t want you to be bored.”
Despite not sending a single text during the two days of his business trip, his casual remark made me feel like I was about to let out a disappointed sigh.
For those two days, I had been constantly waiting for his message. I checked my phone first thing when I woke up and intermittently rummaged through my messages even while reading books.
But no contact from him ever came. I wanted to say something out of disappointment, but I didn’t have the courage to confront him. If no contact came from him, it would have been right for me to reach out first.
“Since you look tired, just get some good rest without thinking about anything. I’ll make some lunch while you sleep.”
“Alright, then.”
If it had been his usual self, he would have immediately stuck by my side and asked in detail what I had been doing for the past two days, but Woosang must really be tired as he went straight to the bedroom and laid his head on the pillow.
Seeing that, I somehow felt my mouth going dry.
I carefully approached, closed the bedroom door, and went to the kitchen to prepare some simple refreshments.
I took out dishes and put water in the coffee pot. As I moved around, I organized in my mind the conversation I needed to have with him.
First, it would be good to talk about our schedule to visit my hometown. Then, I wanted to discuss how we would live after returning, whether we would stay in Montreal, and so on.
After finishing cooking simply and cleaning up the kitchen, I sat in a chair waiting for him to wake up.
But for some reason, he showed no signs of coming out of the bedroom. By now, it had been an hour and a half since he returned home. Wondering if he had fallen into such a deep sleep that he couldn’t wake up after a short nap, I approached the bedroom and carefully knocked on the door.
Knock, knock. Along with the cheerful sound, there was a rustling sound from inside. It seemed Woosang had woken up. With a happy heart, I waited for his voice to come from inside. But for some reason, he didn’t give any particular answer.
Thinking I might have misheard, I gently opened the door and peeked inside.
Strangely enough, Woosang was looking at something on his laptop while sitting on the bed.
‘Not answering and what’s going on…?’
A small anger rose inside me, but I suppressed it and asked him.
“…Weren’t you sleeping?”
“Ah, I woke up because I remembered something I had to do.”
“You could have told me you were awake. The food’s all cold now.”
“I’m sorry. I forgot.”
He spoke without even looking at me, his voice devoid of any inflection, as if he didn’t particularly feel sorry.
Not understanding his behavior, I went inside and quickly glanced at the laptop monitor.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing much.”
With a snap, Woosang closed the laptop cover and looked up at me. We created a brief silence, engaging in a strange battle of nerves.
He had never, not once, hidden anything from me in this manner. I couldn’t even guess what was happening that he needed to hide from me.
Of course, there had been a small argument before he left for the business trip, but it wasn’t something that would perfectly anger him.
But what was this ambiguous attitude? He hadn’t contacted me at all during his business trip, and even after returning, seeing him take this cold attitude, an anger I had never felt before rose within me.
“Get up.”
I snatched the laptop from Woosang’s hand and placed it noisily on the bedside table. Swallowing my breath, I turned around to leave the room, but there was no sound from behind.
Before leaving the room, I turned back to look at Woosang.
“What are you doing, not coming out?”
“…Now.”
“……”
“Now what kind of attitude is that?”
“What did I do?”
In response to his sharp words, a rough voice involuntarily burst out from me. Woosang, who had been sitting still for a while, got off the bed and approached me with determined steps.
“Why are you suddenly irritated?”
“Irritated? I’ve never been irritated. It’s you who’s being irritated right now.”
He rubbed his forehead as if in disbelief and looked me up and down. If it had been usual, I would have apologized first given Woosang’s stronger-than-expected reaction, but today I didn’t particularly feel like apologizing to him.
Woosang hadn’t contacted me first, and even after returning home, he hadn’t given me even an affectionate glance. And then there was his attitude of treating me like someone who should naturally take care of him.
It was a harsh treatment for me, who had been watching the clock all day waiting for him to return. Recalling that fact, all his actions now irritated and disturbed me even more than before.
“I rushed here on an early morning train just to see you, and I didn’t expect to receive this kind of cold reception.”
“…Why pretend to care when you didn’t even contact me once? I never asked you to come back quickly.”
“……”
Woosang, seemingly flustered by the unintended argument, bit his lip and waved his hand. It seemed like he didn’t want to talk anymore.
“Ha…”
His short breath popped out in the coldly settled air. Then, after inhaling again, he spoke softly.
“Alright, I’m sorry for not contacting you. But showing that attitude isn’t right either. You know that too, Teo?”
“……”
I wanted to agree with his words, but I couldn’t nod my head.
At my stubborn attitude, Woosang approached me and gently caressed my shoulders with a tender touch. Then, as if demanding an answer, he closely examined my expression.
“Nothing happened, right?”
“…Nothing happened. I was just worrying alone, wondering if something had happened to you. And we also have something to do between us.”
“That’s right.”
Woosang nodded and painfully agreed with my words. But in that small action, I glimpsed how tired he was.
Suddenly, a fear poured in that I might have pushed him when he had been going through something difficult. I was shocked at myself for not comforting him when he seemed unusually tired and instead making him angry.
Why had I acted so immaturely? Only now, surprised by the words I had uttered, I stood frozen in place, unable to move.
“…Let’s talk about the details later and have a meal first. It would be a waste to throw it away after you prepared it specially.”
Woosang, who had already returned to his original expression and voice, beckoned to me with a faint smile. With my head bowed in embarrassment, I hesitantly approached the table and sat down.
Observing my stiff expression, he filled the teacup with tea and offered it to me first. I took a sip of the tea and watched Woosang, who was busily moving his hands.
The subtly shaded area under his eyes and his tightly closed lips. Seeing clearly that I was the one who made him sad, I couldn’t say anything.
‘This wasn’t what I intended.’
The words I had thought of while waiting for him had long disappeared, and in this situation, there were no gentle words left in my head to offer him.
Having expected to happily depart for my hometown together, this situation was as frightening and cold as a sudden downpour encountered in the middle of the night.
“If you were upset, let it go. I was too sensitive lately, that’s why I acted that way. You understand, right?”
In response to his apology, I nodded slightly, albeit belatedly. It was terrible that I was receiving an apology from him when I should be the one apologizing.
I was genuinely worried that, as Woosang predicted, the journey to my hometown might become something that would push our emotions over a cliff.
