# Chapter 101
Time passed quickly. Several days had already gone by since Woosang announced his business trip, and in three days, he would be leaving for Toronto.
“What are you going to do today?”
“I’ll study, read books, and clean the house, as usual.”
Woosang seemed displeased with my answer and pondered deeply before placing his hand on my left shoulder.
“Instead of that, try going out alone. You’re familiar with reading maps now, aren’t you?”
“Hmm…”
“Unless you’re too scared.”
“No, it’s not that. Then I’ll go out today.”
Only then did he nod, apparently satisfied with my answer, and headed to the entrance with his things.
Although he should be tired from his busy schedule, he seemed to have grown accustomed to the tight schedule, greeting me with a bright face.
“I’ll have to ask what you did when I get back today.”
“…I’ll try to have something to answer.”
Woosang smiled pleasantly, apparently liking my response, and went outside.
With the sound of the door closing, I dropped the forced smile and let out a deep sigh.
For the past few days, I hadn’t studied or read books at all, instead spending every day busy examining the entire Quebec region on internet maps.
Just looking at Montreal alone would be one thing, but examining all of Quebec wasn’t something that could be done in a day or two. Quebec was larger than the whole of France, and trying to find the city where I lived 20 years ago by tracing my memory wasn’t an easy task.
Sometimes I tried searching for nearby place names my parents had mentioned, but the memories were too old, and since I wasn’t particularly good at speaking back then, I couldn’t even be sure if I was entering the correct spelling.
“Sigh…”
I tried to empty my mind with a short breath, but it didn’t seem to work properly.
I quickly took care of cleaning and grocery shopping so Woosang wouldn’t notice something was going on, but studying and reading books had long been pushed to the back burner.
I only had a grace period of three days left. If I couldn’t find where I lived before then, it felt like I might never be able to return there.
‘It wouldn’t matter if I couldn’t go back… But I should at least try as much as I can.’
Unlike usual, today Woosang had instructed me what to do before leaving, so I had to go outside and look around.
If it weren’t for the problem I was dealing with, I might have enjoyed it, but because of the limited time, going out only felt like pressure to complete a task rather than invoking any other thoughts.
I got dressed, grabbed my wallet and phone, and went outside. Not knowing where to go, I searched for a nearby café.
Although Woosang told me to go somewhere, he didn’t specify exactly where, so I was planning to deliberately say I spent all day sitting in a café because I couldn’t decide where to go.
Even I thought it was a cunning move, but I had no choice with the limited time.
While Paris was elaborately decorated everywhere you set foot, Montreal seemed incredibly plain in comparison. However, for me, this unadorned space actually made me feel more comfortable.
I entered a café that I spotted nearby, ordered a coffee, sat down, and immediately checked the map.
‘I remember it took a full day to get to the airport back then…’
When I left home with my uncle, I spent the whole day just sleeping in the car with nothing else to do. Just when I was beginning to wonder when I would no longer need to fall asleep, I was finally able to get out of the car, and afterward, I had to board an airplane for the first time without knowing why.
I spent the entire day looking at maps without getting up from my seat once for hours.
Not only was my hunched neck sore, but my eyes stung as if they were going to fall out from staring at the screen. I roughly rubbed my eyes and then buried my head back into the small phone.
Still, I had checked most places located at similar distances over the past few days. It was disheartening that I hadn’t yet found a place similar to where I lived, but for some reason, I didn’t think I wouldn’t find it.
“Just a little more…”
I mumbled those words like a mantra.
***
“Aren’t you tired?”
“Pardon?”
I looked up when someone kindly spoke to me. A woman around my age was looking down at me, holding a mop for cleaning.
“You’ve been staring at your phone since I started my shift… You must have something to do.”
“Ah, yes. I have something I need to finish…”
“Have you had dinner? You’ve been sitting here for so long.”
Dinner. I checked the time. It was only about 3 PM, so I spent a long time trying to understand what the employee meant. I thought she might be asking me to have dinner together, but that didn’t seem right either.
After pondering her words for a while, I realized what she meant. In Quebec, lunch (dîner) was used as the word for dinner in France.
Seeing my hesitation, the employee seemed to realize something and asked with a bright smile.
“Ah, wait a minute. I know. Your pronunciation and all, you’re French, right?”
My pronunciation was noticeably different. And the words used differently. I could understand what she was saying because I had lived here before, but it seemed she had to think to understand my words.
“No, I originally lived here but returned after living in France for a long time.”
“I see? Your accent sounds half-mixed, so I was confused.”
At her words, I tried to recall the pronunciation I used to use.
‘How did I speak back then?’
She became curious about me, who had lived in France, and began asking more questions. Whether people in France were dismissive, how long I lived there, and so on.
As my childhood memories weren’t clear, I hesitated before stumblingly adding things I remembered to answer her questions.
After talking for a while, I noticed new customers entering the store. The employee said she had to go and hurried back to the counter.
“If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”
“I will.”
I expressed my gratitude for her kind words.
After staring at my phone all day, talking to someone seemed to improve my mood. With a refreshed feeling, I looked back at the map and suddenly remembered what the employee had said about pronunciation.
‘Come to think of it, the pronunciation is different from France, so the spelling must be different too…’
As soon as I realized this fact, the names of nearby cities I had heard from my parents in the past came to mind.
On the off chance, I tried searching the map several times with different spellings for the words I knew.
At first, the search results showed nothing, but on my third attempt, the map screen began to move somewhere.
After checking the search results, I stared at the screen for a long time.
The photo at the top of the map definitely showed a landscape I had seen as a child.
For a moment, my fingertips tingled, and I almost dropped my phone. I thought I might have seen it wrong, but the large cathedral in the picture was definitely the same one I had seen when I went downtown with my uncle.
I swallowed hard and abruptly stood up, taking the empty cup on the table to the employee at the counter.
“I found what I was looking for while talking to you. Thank you.”
“That’s good news, come visit again.”
“I will.”
The employee smiled at me and waved. I awkwardly waved back and went outside.
On one hand, I felt tremendous elation at finding a place I thought I would never find, but on the other hand, I also thought it might have been better never to find it.
But at this moment, my heart was filled with joy, like facing the sunlight I had been waiting for all winter.
Returning to my hometown might throw away the emotions I had carefully gathered, but I was already somewhat prepared for that.
I arrived home, walking absentmindedly. I took the key out of my pocket and opened the door.
However, the door that I was sure I had locked by turning the key twice opened smoothly after turning the key only once.
It felt like my heart sank. I wondered if someone had come here again, if someone had visited to stir up and calm down my excited feelings.
I opened the door quietly, feeling extremely tense. Since the sound of the key turning had already been heard, whoever was inside would have noticed that someone was opening the door, but I squeezed my body in as slowly as possible.
I held my breath and quickly darted my eyes around. There was no sign of anyone at the entrance.
Relieved, I entered silently, killing the sound of my footsteps, but then discovered someone sitting in the living room.
Black hair, calm appearance.
There was only one person with such hair who would be sitting in this house. I let out a deep breath and released my tension.
“You’re home already?”
“Huh? Teo, you’re back early too? I thought you’d come back later.”
“I drank too much coffee, and my chest area started hurting.”
It wasn’t really the coffee that was making my chest hurt, but that was the only excuse I could come up with.
Woosang beckoned me to come closer. I approached him naturally and immediately took the seat beside him. He reached out and grabbed my wrist, rubbing around it with his thumb.
“It’s true, your heart is beating really fast.”
“……”
Was my heart beating fast now? I couldn’t tell for sure, but if he said so, it must be true. I just nodded, looking at Woosang’s face.
“Are you done with your schedule for today already?”
“Yes, I originally had a meeting in the afternoon, but it was canceled.”
“I see…”
“Where did you drink coffee?”
I gave detailed directions to the café that was a 10-minute walk away to Woosang, who was carefully examining my face with a relaxed expression.
“Ah, that place. I’ve seen it when passing by.”
“Yes. I talked to locals for the first time, and I was a bit surprised that their pronunciation is definitely different.”
“Ah-ha.”
Woosang listened to my story with interest and waited for me to continue.
“They asked if I was from France after hearing my pronunciation, so I said I lived there for a while…”
“……”
Under Woosang’s fixed gaze, I tried to recall if I had made a mistake. But I didn’t think I had misspoken.
“Don’t you have something to tell me?”
He asked me a familiar question. Something to tell. What did he mean? After thinking for a while, I shook my head.
“You’ve been looking at maps constantly lately. Where are you trying to go?”
“……”
With the mention of maps, I immediately understood what he wanted to say. It seemed Woosang had been checking what I was doing, just like before.
Since this had happened several times already, I wasn’t shocked or scared, but I was flustered by the fact that I had already been caught, as I had planned to tell him after he returned from his business trip.
