That was because hyung-nim had never brought someone he was dating home, and he never told us about his love life.
– But if he’s thoroughly hiding it, is that even possible? I whine like crazy every time I’m in heat.
When heat or rut comes, people usually take medicine. While taking medicine, you have to rest at home for a few days and endure the symptoms.
“Well, hyung-nim is an adult. He’s lived outside for a long time too…”
But if you have a partner, the symptoms improve much faster, so there’s no reason for your mood to fluctuate because of the heat that doesn’t go away even with pheromones and medicine.
– He can’t date because his personality is weird, that’s why. Who would date such a control freak?
But just because he doesn’t reveal his private life to his family doesn’t mean you can call him impotent.
Still, honestly, I don’t think he’s impotent. I said this while recalling Jeongwoo hyung-nim’s thing that I directly saw recently.
– Why, from what you’ve seen, you don’t think our hyung is impotent?
“…I don’t know.”
– From what I’ve seen, our hyung has never had a relationship.
I almost answered that I really hope so.
Whether I should like it or not. Still, if there was one gain today, it was the fact that Jeongwoo hyung-nim had consistently refused arranged meetings.
When you look at hyung-nim sometimes, he’s a person so flawless that it feels inhuman.
I had never heard stories of Jeongwoo hyung-nim causing trouble since long ago, so to us, hyung-nim was always a perfect ideal that served as an example. I thought that was also why there was a strangely ascetic atmosphere.
That’s why I found it a little difficult to imagine hyung-nim messily mixing bodies with an omega.
He’s much more of an adult than me, but maybe hyung-nim isn’t that skilled either? If he’s not sexually interested, that could be quite possible…
– Anyway, you be careful too. Even if it’s not me but you who gets caught doing that, our hyung will probably disapprove, right? If he’s not impotent, he’s probably tried all sorts of things himself, but since way back he’s been a complete scholar only toward us.
“……”
Has hyung-nim really tried all sorts of things? My tingling heart became bitter again.
“Got it. I won’t say anything. …I won’t get caught either.”
Of course, what I shouldn’t get caught doing wasn’t kissing. I wouldn’t have occasion to kiss other people either, but I couldn’t really imagine myself doing the act of kissing at all.
Therefore, the problem I needed to worry about was ‘whether I could kiss hyung-nim before I die.’
After ending the call shortly after and putting down my phone, I stuck my hand into the bag I’d placed by my pillow.
I took out one plump pink jelly, big enough to fill about half my mouth when I put it in, and held it in my mouth. It was a jelly famous on SNS for being shaped strangely like a tongue and giving the feeling of kissing when you put it in your mouth.
I quietly rolled the jelly around in my mouth. The rough surface of the jelly gradually melted in my saliva and became smooth. It had a sweet and sour taste, but the texture touching my tongue was also like a soft lump of flesh.
“…Is this why it’s like a tongue?”
I told Yoo Jeongyeon I’d tried kissing, but in fact, I don’t even know what kissing feels like.
I bought the jelly out of curiosity about what it would feel like to actually kiss, but that wasn’t all.
Should I say I’m practicing in case I might kiss hyung-nim someday? When I actually ate it, I became more curious. What would a real kiss be like?
Since the last cheek-kissing incident, my biggest interest was kissing. Every night I looked up kissing scenes from dramas and movies, and when I did that, I naturally ended up imagining hyung-nim and me pressing our lips together.
But since I’d never done it, even imagining it was difficult. That’s why I was doing this kind of thing with jelly.
If only I had experience, it would have been easier to imagine.
“I need to try it at least once before I can imagine it with hyung-nim or not…”
I eventually chewed the swollen jelly vigorously.
***
Bang—!
Our front gate often becomes an innocent target for venting when I’m in a bad mood. My mood today was considerably low-pressure.
After harshly closing and coming out of the gate, I flinched and shook my shoulders.
“Oh my…!”
It was because I ran into Jeongwoo hyung-nim who had finished parking and was entering the house.
“Ah, hello, hyung-nim.”
Standing at a distance, I bowed in greeting as soon as my eyes met hyung-nim’s. Hyung-nim, who probably looked this way at the loud gate sound, waved his hand with a gentle smile.
“Going to school? The door’s going to break.”
“What about you, hyung-nim? Where are you going?”
Come to think of it, it was now 11 AM on a weekday. These days, hyung-nim often showed his face at suspicious times. If you’re a successful lawyer at a large law firm, shouldn’t you be in the middle of work at this hour?
“As you can see, I’m coming home.”
“What? Right now?”
As I stood there blankly blinking my eyes, hyung-nim soon gestured for me to come over. I toddled over to hyung-nim.
“Hyung-nim, are you coming in after working all night?”
“The kid doesn’t need to know. What’s in your hand?”
“Th-this?”
Hyung-nim, who answered “Yeah,” was staring at my hand with a leisurely face.
“This is jelly…”
I had come out holding the jelly I didn’t finish eating yesterday.
“It’s shaped strangely?”
“R-right.”
The moment hyung-nim mentioned the jelly that was red, plump like a tongue, and even blunt in shape, I flinched in surprise once more. It was because I recalled what I was thinking when I put this jelly in my mouth.
To relieve stress, sweet things were the most effective, and coincidentally on my desk was a whole bunch of jelly I’d bought saying I’d practice kissing. That’s the only reason I brought it out…
What if hyung-nim sees this and thinks I’m a kid crazy about kissing? I, who had already been thoroughly warned by Yoo Jeongyeon a few days ago, was becoming anxious in one corner of my heart.
…But hyung-nim is really old, so wouldn’t he not know about things like jelly that feels like kissing?
“Would you like some too, hyung-nim?”
I held out the bag to hyung-nim with both hands, hoping hyung-nim wouldn’t know the jelly’s identity.
“…No. I’m fine.”
Hyung-nim stared down at it then shook his head. Was it just my imagination? Somehow hyung-nim’s lips seemed to look like they were holding back laughter.
“Eating jelly on the way to school, seeing things like this, you’re still a baby after all.”
Aha. Hyung-nim probably smiled thinking I was like a kid again.
“I’m not going to school right now though…”
When in fact I imagined kissing hyung-nim with this jelly. Being treated like a kid again today.
I took out a jelly and put it in my mouth. Now that I’d eaten so much jelly, I didn’t even feel the novel feeling I had at first.
I just want to know what kissing feels like. Is there really no other way besides this pathetic method?
“What time are you planning to come home today?”
“…Me?”
When I asked back, hyung-nim raised his eyebrow. Since it was a topic I wanted to avoid, I slyly rolled my eyes.
“I’m not sure…”
Sure enough, I could already feel hyung-nim’s disapproving gaze. In fact, I knew that I’d been firmly marked by Jeongwoo hyung-nim since last time. Even just now when our eyes met, I had a bad feeling, but I had no power to defy hyung-nim when he told me to come over.
“You’re not sure? Unlike when you were in high school, you’re not going to academy, and no one’s holding you back, so why don’t you know?”
At my answer that I didn’t know what time I’d come home, hyung-nim already showed a displeased look.
“Well, college students are surprisingly busy too. I don’t know how it was when hyung-nim went to school, but I heard that’s how it is at the beginning of the semester.”
“……”
“So today too, I’m not sure when I’ll come home…”
I spoke in a very unconfident voice. Even while making various excuses, hyung-nim didn’t say anything.
The reason I wasn’t confident was because in fact, even after being scolded by hyung-nim, I’d come home late several more times. I couldn’t help it because there were drinking gatherings almost every day.
Still, one thing I could be confident about was that I hadn’t come home dead drunk like last time.
“Nine, no, that’s a bit too much…”
“What?”
“Ten… haa, eleven.”
Huh? Not understanding what he meant, I blinked rapidly.
“No matter how late, come home by eleven. From now on too, always. I’m already being very lenient with this.”
A curfew of eleven o’clock for a first-year college student at the prime time to have fun was truly an awkward thing to hear.
“No, hyung-nim, that’s a bit…?”
No matter how much it was the words of Jeongwoo hyung-nim whom I liked most in the world, right now I had no choice but to look at him with an absurd gaze.
