“If you mean a meal, I didn’t eat. Is that a problem?”
“Hah… I’m going crazy. You’re going this far?”
“Speak so I can understand what you’re saying.”
“You don’t eat breakfast and get severe motion sickness, yet you’re enduring this to act.”
“Ah….”
Jieon looked at Mua, who made a stupid expression like someone who’d just learned a new fact, with contempt. However, regardless of his suspicion, it was actually a fact Mua had learned for the first time.
Not long after getting in the car, an unpleasant sensation of his stomach turning surged up. Having never experienced motion sickness even when he was human, he was anxious not knowing what the symptom was. He’d been worried it might be a side effect of possession or the influence of the ritual.
Mua had hardly eaten any food at the hospital. It was because the act of swallowing food down his throat itself felt terrible. He hated all acts that made him realize he’d become human. He hated feeling taste on his tongue, and the feeling of being full seemed even more disgusting.
Whether he liked food when he was human, whether there was food he disliked—he couldn’t remember such things anymore. What remained vivid was only the memory of bitter hunger, wishing there’d be something to eat, even garbage.
Knowing the identity of the pain actually put his mind at ease. Mua closed his eyes tightly and continued.
“I don’t like eating.”
“……”
“I’ll try to endure until we arrive home.”
“Hah….”
At Mua’s words, Jieon let out another long sigh. Every time he spoke, goosebumps rose along his spine. At this point, it was hard to even guess where Shin Mua’s bottom was. To go this far for acting that wouldn’t fool anyone.
“Just don’t throw up in the car. I’ll throw you out of the car immediately if you do.”
Jieon warned while trembling his shoulders, then turned his head sharply. Even being in the same space as him felt horrifying.
Once they arrived home, he planned to immediately present the divorce papers. Then Shin Mua wouldn’t be able to continue this creepy behavior anymore. He was someone who used to have fits just seeing divorce papers, so he’d show it somehow. Jieon waited only to arrive home while treating the Shin Mua next to him as if he didn’t exist.
But unfortunately.
Jieon’s plan to proceed with the divorce as soon as they arrived home couldn’t be realized.
“Ughhh….”
In his eyes, which wore an expression of disgust, appeared Shin Mua collapsed on the living room floor curled up like a shrimp, groaning.
Shin Mua’s motion sickness became more severe as time passed. Finally, just before arriving home, he even caused a commotion saying he felt like throwing up so let him out immediately.
Mua, who barely arrived home without vomiting, pressed Jieon asking where the bathroom was. Even in this situation, he almost applauded at how he didn’t miss the ‘amnesia concept.’
And Shin Mua, who came out of the bathroom after a long while with a ghost-like pale face, was now almost hovering at death’s door.
“Really doing all sorts of things.”
Irritation seeped into Jieon’s voice. Even though motion sickness was severe when riding in a car on an empty stomach, originally Shin Mua had become somewhat accustomed to it so he didn’t make this much of a fuss. In other words, all those groaning sounds were part of the concept too.
“You think I’ll make the divorce not happen just because you do that? Wake up from your dream and do it appropriately. Find your seal.”
Jieon spat out what he had to say toward Mua, who wasn’t moving from the floor, then turned and headed to his room. While Shin Mua’s motion sickness was indeed severe, there was no way he’d look at the papers properly even if he presented them while he was acting this viciously.
He could only hope that by staying up all night to come to his senses, tomorrow he could have a proper conversation with Shin Mua who’d stopped lying.
“How did I get tangled up with something like that….”
Fatigue seeped from Jieon’s face as he entered his room. He also hadn’t fully recovered yet, so his whole body ached and a headache seemed to be coming on.
Jieon collapsed onto the bed just like that and closed his eyes. The fear he’d felt during the accident suddenly surged and gave him chills. Literally having barely returned alive from death’s threshold, he hadn’t had the leisure to examine the shock he’d received because of Shin Mua.
Jieon, who pulled the blanket over himself haphazardly, planned for the future while trying not to recall memories of the accident. Having been given a second life by heaven’s luck, he thought it might not be bad to try living a bit properly now.
Though he had no intention of joining the company at this point, how about proceeding in earnest with the sponsorship organization work he ran like a hobby?
Finding a ‘real marriage partner’ as his grandfather wanted wouldn’t be bad either. Not a contract marriage like he’d had with Shin Mua, but really establishing a stable family—well, that wasn’t something he couldn’t do.
They say a brush with death changes a person—Jieon felt a bit proud of himself for thinking about living diligently. Not only his grandfather, but his uncle who always supported and helped him in every way would also be proud knowing of such a change in him.
Right. If I just divorce Shin Mua safely, then let’s really live my own life. The divorce from him would be the signal flare for a genuine new life.
With new resolve, motivation welled up, but conversely, his eyelids grew heavier. Perhaps because his body hadn’t fully recovered yet, fatigue rushed in easily even with slight movement.
Thinking he should close his eyes for just a moment before getting up, Jieon closed his eyes. Sleep swallowed him up in an instant as if it had been waiting.
***
“Damn body.”
With a single curse, Mua rose from the floor. It was dark before his eyes, so when he turned his head to look out the window, it was already night. He must have fallen asleep on the floor just like that while groaning.
The moonlight visible beyond the huge window felt very unfamiliar. It wasn’t just the moonlight. The world seen through human eyes was somewhat different from what Mua had experienced while active as a grim reaper.
The Living World that Mua as a grim reaper saw was somewhat hazy and gloomy. Strangely devoid of life, it felt as if everything was covered with a layer of monochrome vinyl.
When I was human, did I also capture such a vivid world in my eyes? He couldn’t remember well. It was such a long time ago, and even if it had been colorful and beautiful, Mua hadn’t had the luxury to capture and enjoy such scenery in his eyes.
As his thoughts deepened, the moonlight that had felt mysterious became disgusting to look at. This was why Mua liked the monochrome world. At least that world was fair to everyone in the Afterlife.
Mua, who consciously shook off the meaningless emotion, slowly rose and climbed onto the sofa to sit. His whole body creaked from how long he’d been lying on the floor.
“Wicked bastard….”
Mua muttered. Even if they were divorcing, how could anyone leave a sick person to fall asleep on the floor like this? He was someone who lacked manners to an unusual degree.
If the real ‘Shin Mua’ were in this position, he’d advise him to divorce that heartless bastard immediately—so why had ‘Shin Mua’ not divorced such a guy until now? Well, it wasn’t his concern.
Right then, a very unfamiliar and alien sound reached Mua’s ears.
Grumble—
Unbelievably, it was a sound coming from inside Mua’s own body. Precisely, from the stomach that had been starving all day and even vomited due to motion sickness.
“Hah….”
Mua held his forehead and let out a deep sigh. That’s right. He really didn’t want to admit it, but he was hungry.
Damn it. Damn humans.
Mua found all the desires and sensations humans felt disgusting, but if he had to pick the worst, it was naturally ‘hunger.’ It was truly detestable. If such unfortunate events hadn’t befallen him in life, perhaps he might have starved to death and become a hungry ghost.
Not that he could ever say his luck had been good, but if he’d become a hungry ghost, he couldn’t have become a grim reaper, so he thought life was truly unpredictable like Seonong’s horse.
“How did I become a grim reaper, only to become a hungry ghost now?”
Mua muttered self-deprecatingly and rose from the sofa. Though he’d starved because he disliked the act of satisfying human desires, since there was an order from the Afterlife to stand by in a human body, he couldn’t continue to go hungry.
“Nice house.”
Mua began to slowly move around various places in the house. Since death came equally to both the rich and the poor, seeing the nice house of the wealthy wasn’t particularly special.
Each time, Mua thought: And so, is death truly equal to both those who have and those who don’t? Just because everyone cannot avoid death, can the death of one who had everything and the miserable end of one who starved their whole life truly be called equal?
Nonsense. All bullshit.
Mua swallowed words that didn’t need to be spoken aloud and headed to the kitchen that looked luxurious at a glance. First priority was filling his stomach that felt like it would tear from hunger.
Seonong’s Horse / 새옹지마 (reference to the Chinese idiom “塞翁之馬” – a blessing in disguise, life’s unpredictability)
