# Chapter 68
Right now, on the 98-inch TV in Unit 902 of Haesung Winners Castle, a video titled “Western Summoning Rituals for Calling Spirits, We Actually Tried It” is playing. Jaei, unable to lie down alone in the bed where he had shared love with Doha, remained sprawled in the brightly lit living room until just before leaving for work this morning.
He blocked his endlessly flowing tears with an ice pack eye mask meant for reducing swelling. Lying down, he diligently moved his arms and legs to do abdominal exercises. Even though he had lost Doha, his schedules weren’t canceled. Lee Jaei was Ryu Doha’s lover, but at the same time, he was an actor who had to fulfill his responsibilities. No matter what happened, he had to bring his beauty to its peak condition before going to work.
The loud TV sound was a tool to prevent gloominess from seeping through the cracks of his shattered body and mind. He was determined that this time, he would absolutely not let his mind or body collapse. He was no longer the young and weak Lee Jaei of the past. He believed Doha would return to him. Doha had given him definite assurance.
“Ryu Doha, fighting!”
Suddenly, he thrust two small fists into the air, energetically cheering for Doha. He would wait here without tiring, and he sincerely hoped that Doha wouldn’t tire either. He knew Doha had great affection for the new project he was entering. That determination would bring him back. Definitely within three days.
According to Doha’s testimony about his experience in the afterlife, one has to work all day long to erase demerits and accumulate merits. Whether persuading souls that cling to their dead bodies and cannot leave, or physically fighting evil spirits who break the rules—Doha’s face had turned pale blue like someone who had swallowed a fish bone while telling these stories. So Jaei hadn’t asked for more details.
Doha had said that since the physical body is already in eternal rest, there’s no separate need for rest or sleep, so they make you work all day without letting you sleep. Apparently, since there’s no difference in strength among souls without physical bodies, they assign the same tasks regardless of age. So young-soul Doha had a hard time fighting with stubborn adults who wouldn’t listen.
Originally, those who want to erase demerits and then accumulate additional merits for reincarnation are extremely rare. This is because death, after a difficult life, brings unexpectedly great peace to humans. Giving up eternal rest completely and having to perform high-intensity missions—this is literally something only those with an extremely strong will to live can accomplish. So it’s safe to say that there’s virtually no one who succeeds in reincarnating on their own like Doha did. But if Ryu Doha managed it once, couldn’t he do it again?
He had planned to watch the drama tonight and then fall asleep comfortably holding Doha in his arms, but thinking about Doha who suddenly met with misfortune and had to work the night shift, he muttered aggressively:
“Doha is mine, why do they keep taking him away? I’m so annoyed.”
Even a mild temperament has its limits. Unable to bear the longing for Doha, he removed the eye mask and began reviewing Doha’s social media. After checking all the photos and videos he had uploaded so far, he also reread the messages they had exchanged. He reread dozens of times the lewd messages Doha had sent to his sub-phone used for dating. Between dopamine secretion and sadness, the TV sound trickled in.
Perking up his ears, Jaei crawled to the TV as if entranced and prepared for the summoning ritual. Drawing a magic circle of stars and circles on the back of a script cover as instructed in the video, Jaei surprisingly succeeded in calling spirits. Although it wasn’t Doha but the spirits of two flies that had died lonely last summer night, it was a success nonetheless.
Day 1 of Ryu Doha’s disappearance: Though he hadn’t slept properly all night, he had memorized the script perfectly. Despite having lost Doha to the afterworld, Jaei was fulfilling his shooting schedule with beautiful looks and excellent acting skills, taking naps in his car during breaks.
Humans naturally have dreams that strangely reconstruct their real-life worries when they think a lot. Jaei, who had closed his eyes for about 5 minutes as if fainting, had a very detailed and long dream during that short time.
Legendary actor Lee Jaei, who finally won an Oscar at the age of 58, proudly announced his acceptance speech in Korean at the Academy Awards. In his arms was an eight-year-old child.
“Some may criticize me as strange. But I had no choice but to come here today with this child. This child is my self. A part of me.”
It was Ryu Doha, reincarnated as an eight-year-old for the 20th time. The child Ryu Doha had practiced congratulatory messages with adults in anticipation of Jaei’s win. Doha, grasping the trophy with small, cute hands, spoke adorably into the microphone:
“Granpa, I love you.”
At that moment, Jaei woke up from sleep screaming as if he had been hit by a shock wave to the collarbone.
“Aaaaah!”
From same-age friend to younger brother, from younger brother to son, from son to grandson.
From same-age friend to older brother, from older brother to father, from father to grandfather.
It was truly a terrible nightmare. He could dare to determine that, except for Ryu Doha never returning, this was the worst route among all possible returns.
Day 2 of Ryu Doha’s disappearance: Jaei, who had become noticeably gaunt in just one day, went out looking for support. Before today’s shooting began, he toured religious facilities from early dawn. Before sunrise, at this early hour, he struck bells with a monk listening to the sounds of diligent and earnest birds, and shared good words while drinking tea. Afterward, he visited churches and cathedrals in turn, attending early morning worship and morning mass.
On his way home, he finally stopped at a polytheistic religious facility. While sharing his concerns with a black-robed clergy who had counseled him before, he instinctively sensed the other’s outstanding appearance and, as the head of an entertainment company, handed over his business card, trying to cast him. It was because a sense of duty had settled in a corner of his mind that he should immediately deploy a replacement actor if Doha couldn’t return.
“I must get permission from my spouse.”
With an expression that showed no intention of accepting the casting, he calmly called his lover to report the situation. However, a sad incident occurred where the person on the other end of the call fainted as soon as he said, “I received an offer to join as an actor from actor Lee Jaei.”
Finally, day 3 of Ryu Doha’s disappearance: Messages awaiting his reply and missed calls kept piling up on the phone Doha had left behind. Fortunately, Jaei knew the lock pattern Doha had set, and contacts from family or work were within Jaei’s ability to handle. Messages from friends were mostly not important, so he left them as homework for Doha to do when he returned to this world.
The last 3 days felt like 30 years. Though he hadn’t lived 30 years yet, it felt roughly that long. Jaei, who always carried Doha’s phone when going out, was extremely exhausted after just 3 days. Now it seemed like it would be fine if Doha returned in any form. He no longer cared about age, species, or gender. This meant it would be okay even if Doha came back as a 4-day-old female pheasant.
Right now, Jaei’s mind was filled with thoughts of missing Doha to the point of going crazy, and as the head of the agency and his brother, how to resolve and take responsibility for the series of incidents if Doha couldn’t return. For now, he continued shooting, desperately waiting for Doha to return before noon.
After finishing the first set shooting of the day, he returned to the dressing room. There, Jaei met eyes with a white baby bear doll. Somehow, he couldn’t take his eyes off the cute teddy bear that looked exactly like Doha. He definitely hadn’t noticed this bear doll earlier.
Clearly, his sensitive and delicate intuition was telling him this was ‘Doha.’ If you truly love someone, they say you can recognize your loved one no matter what form they return in, don’t they?
“Doha… You came back today, as I prayed…”
With his face sadly contorted, Jaei tightly closed his eyes and held back tears. He shouldn’t cry during shooting. Maintaining as calm a mind as possible, he embraced the bear doll Doha, who could no longer move or speak, and quietly kissed it. Grief washed over him, but he could overcome it.
“It’s okay, I love you no matter what form you take.”
Now, the fact that Doha was no longer human wasn’t a problem at all. He just needed Doha to be by his side. While tenderly whispering love into the round ears of the bear doll, he turned around, preciously holding the large cotton ball in his arms.
At that moment, Jaei saw the face of a rookie actor reflected in the dressing room mirror and screamed, throwing the bear doll onto the sofa. He was wearing a school uniform, sitting in the dressing room chair, blinking his large eyes while touching up his makeup.
“Haaah…”
Jaei exhaled a heated sigh and sighed in relief. He desperately held back tears since he still had today’s shooting left.
It was Ryu Doha. Doha, who seemed busy looking at the script for the shooting that would start in just an hour, Doha with clearly a twenty-year-old face and body.
And at that moment, Jaei’s eyes met Doha’s in the mirror. He strode toward him to check if the light reflecting like stars in his eyes was heart-shaped.
