# Chapter 52
Doha was someone who always tried to keep his word. Having lived such a life since his previous existence, he continued to keep his promises in this life too. However, if Jaei hadn’t come to the filming site today, he might not have been able to do it properly no matter how hard he tried. He filmed the death scene professionally with only one thought—looking cool in front of Jaei who was watching him.
Being conscious of Jaei’s intense gaze, he had no time to focus on recreating his own unjust and painful death. First, he needed to look pure, beautiful, and handsome in Jaei’s eyes, he couldn’t do anything that might embarrass him, and he was on edge wanting to show a perfectly professional image. Throughout the filming, he anxiously alternated between looking at the script and the mirror.
To ensure Doha’s successful filming, Jaei prepared food trucks and coffee trucks for the set, and set up windbreakers for the actors and staff. From the front row of staff, he watched Doha with his hands clasped together, his gaze filled with anguish. Just as the tears he had desperately held back in front of others were about to burst forth, the moment the director yelled “Cut!”, Doha, who had been lying on the ground covered in fake blood, ran over and embraced him.
To prevent Jaei from crying, Doha abruptly tickled his side while pushing his face close, completely distracting him.
“I look handsome today, right? I think having blood on my face makes me even more handsome.”
“You’re a winter cool tone. You look good with cool reds.”
Jaei, who was about to burst into tears like a child, unconsciously responded with a personal color assessment to Doha’s comment while sniffling. It was an undeniable fact, as both his company CEO and fellow actor, that Doha’s styling today was at its best. Doha patted Jaei’s back and repeated like a mantra:
“Good thoughts, good thoughts.”
“Good thoughts. Good thoughts.”
Repeating after Doha and stopping his sniffling, Jaei twisted his body as Doha’s fingers targeted his most ticklish spots. Then, moved once again by Doha’s Snow White-like appearance—tousled black hair, red blood staining his snow-white cheeks—Jaei took out his phone, launched the camera app, and recorded a video.
While the actors and staff received their meals from the food truck, Jaei and Doha moved to a spacious, comfortable van to have some time to stabilize. After about 10 minutes of deep, intense kissing to confirm each other’s breathing, they successfully escaped their trauma by verifying that they, who had once been separated by life and death, were now surviving together in this moment.
Afterward, Jaei went to find senior actor Park Suhwan, who was playing the role of Haeyoung, and gave him an adorable, loving round of applause.
“Sunbae-nim, you’re really amazing. How do you act so chillingly well? I was almost moved to tears today by your overwhelming performance.”
Park Suhwan, with a plate full of sweet and sour pork, waved his hand modestly and said:
“Right, I noticed you were about to cry earlier. It’s an honor to hear such words from you, Jaei.”
“I struggled not to cry. I really respect you.”
When Jaei opened his mouth like a baby bird, Park Suhwan slipped a piece of sweet and sour pork into it. After chewing and swallowing it, Jaei looked around cautiously and whispered in Park Suhwan’s ear:
“Sunbae-nim, did you receive the temporary script? The digital file?”
“Yes, I did. They said to just use it as a reference since the content might change.”
“I haven’t received everything yet. But Director Hong sends different parts of the script to each actor. Someone like you could handle any script, but since I still lack experience, I have trouble connecting the emotional lines between scenes. Could you help me? Would you show me the script you received?”
“Sure, why not? Jaei even bought us meals today.”
Park Suhwan, who was older and had a longer career than Hong Duyoung, answered coolly without hesitation. Ignoring Hong Duyoung’s request, he immediately sent the script file he had received to Jaei.
Just then, the set’s youngest member Ryu Doha, who happened to be passing by with a bottle of water, filled Park Suhwan’s empty cup and spoke politely like a well-mannered child:
“Sunbae-nim, thank you for being so nice to me all this time. I haven’t been acting for long, and I’ve learned so much from you.”
“Doha, you look really handsome today. I used to look like you when I was twenty.”
“I think it’s because I’m a winter cool tone. What about you, Sunbae-nim?”
Having confirmed the email had arrived, Jaei joined the conversation between Park Suhwan and Doha and began assessing his esteemed senior’s personal color.
In the car on the way home, as Jaei started checking the script Park Suhwan had sent, he suddenly began feeling carsick. Doha pushed his recently broadened chest (from working out) toward Jaei without warning and buried Jaei’s small face in it.
“Do it here.”
“What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do such a thing~”
Jaei squirmed like a puppy and actively rubbed his face against Doha’s chest. Doha patted Jaei’s back and put his lips to Jaei’s ear, whispering softly:
“Jaei, I think I now understand why my mother caught the eggplant side dish you spit out with her hand.”
“Don’t say that! It’s a memory I want to forget!”
Jaei started checking the script again in Doha’s arms, and after a while, he stopped feeling carsick and began trembling with fear instead. He wanted to scream but silently endured the pain with his eyes tightly shut since their manager was driving.
Noticing that Jaei’s condition wasn’t normal, Doha didn’t ask anything. Though he wanted to pull Jaei into his arms and shower him with kisses, all he could do now was hold his hand and massage it.
As he transferred his body heat to Jaei’s coldly stiffened hand, he slowly wrote one letter at a time with his finger on Jaei’s dry palm:
[I’ll massage your feet at home]
Jaei smiled faintly, understanding what Doha wanted to say. Normally, Jaei would have responded with a shy expression saying thank you, but perhaps needing something to smile about right now, he took off his shoes and placed his legs on Doha’s sturdy thighs. However, after pretending to smile playfully for a moment, he soon bit his lips tightly and twisted his face sorrowfully.
That expression looked so painful that Doha began to feel pain too. So he simply lowered his head, not looking at him anymore.
When they got home, Jaei collapsed on the floor and cried sorrowfully for a long time. Doha gathered Jaei’s body, which was flattened against the floor, and gently placed him in his arms, then calmly checked the content of the script Jaei had been reading. It was certainly content that was less painful for him to read than for Jaei.
This film wasn’t about three people. The real lead was just one person, “Haeyoung.” The screenplay very kindly followed Haeyoung’s perspective, representing all his thoughts and actions.
And the emotion Doha was feeling at this moment was, vulgarly speaking, “embarrassment.” His entire body seemed to shrink from the level of secondhand embarrassment. Could a human being love himself this much? It would be difficult for a person to have such a thick face, but Hong Duyoung was adoring and pitying himself too much. He immediately understood why Jaei had felt carsick in the car.
“Ugh… it’s disgusting…”
Jaei, nestled in his arms and crying sorrowfully, agreed in a weak voice:
“Disgusting! Disgusting!”
And what had brought Jaei to this state of exhaustion was Haeyoung’s self-confession revealed in the latter part. Haeyoung was revealing what he had done to young Yuha himself.
Haeyoung, who had been watching the relationship between Heejai, whom he favored, and Yuha, who dulled Heejai’s talent, began planning a new work based on those two people one day. It was a plan that could both satisfy his curiosity as a creator and protect Heejai from Yuha.
How far can the audience forgive someone who has committed evil when they are the protagonist? Can an artist receive forgiveness and salvation through art? Having created works without boundaries between reality and fiction, he began a long, long story seeking an answer to that question.
Haeyoung judged that Yuha needed to disappear from beside Heejai. It was for Heejai’s sake, but it was also a device to maximize the evil of the protagonist being tested by the audience when made into a work. The motorcyclist who would hit Yuha and run away was very easily bought with money. It wasn’t difficult to persuade someone struggling to survive without living expenses to accept a few years in prison.
“Crazy bastard…”
Doha muttered quietly. Hong Duyoung had said that his health had deteriorated and this might be his last work. This film was a dedication film he was offering to himself. And it was a love confession to Jaei, who had been his soul for a very long time.
If this film was made from Hong Duyoung’s perspective, surely all viewers would feel sympathy despite his evil deeds. After confirming that reaction, Hong Duyoung would erase his guilt, feel peace, and achieve the goal of being forgiven for his sins through his work. The work is only complete after the film is released and audience reactions come in.
Having stopped crying and barely regained his strength, Jaei spoke in a voice that couldn’t erase his anger:
“I’m going to meet this driver. I heard from my parents that he served about 5 years in prison and got out. I’m going to make him confess everything that happened to him.”
Doha’s eyes saddened at Jaei’s words. Unable to find a place to rest his gaze and rolling his eyes around, Doha forced a calm smile and said:
“That person must have benefited greatly. Since he could receive so much money in exchange for serving just 5 years.”
Jaei started crying again, but Doha did not cry and endured it.
What made Jaei the saddest was that in the film, Haeyoung described Yuha as “a child to whom nothing would happen even if such a thing was done to him.” Haeyoung was revealing his inner evil very honestly. He said that if the person interfering with Heejai’s talent had been a third-generation chaebol, he wouldn’t have thought of killing them.
Some viewers, following Haeyoung’s gaze in the movie, will bring out the petty malice inside themselves and empathize with his heart. They might support Haeyoung and even find Yuha’s existence annoying, and might hope for Heejai to accept Haeyoung’s feelings.
Doha, resting his head on Jaei’s shoulder, quietly closed his eyes. And as he comforted Jaei, he spoke slowly:
“But Jaei, I think Hong Duyoung will ultimately fail. If it’s reality and not a work, the public won’t forgive him.”
