Chapter 5
Like a dandelion seed, he had been flying alone here and there on the wind, almost taking root on a cold street. But after meeting Jaei, he was able to settle in the cozy and safe flowerpot of a family. Doha thought he was fully qualified to be a member of this family of crybabies. He was a prepared crybaby who could cry with them when they cried.
They began to take care of and raise Doha diligently like their own son, but they couldn’t adopt him as Jaei’s real brother. This was because they faced strong opposition from relatives due to issues of inheritance and company management. Of course, Doha had no interest or greed for such things.
In order to prevent the possibility of Doha being harmed, his parents had no choice but to register him in the family registry of an acquaintance with the surname Lee. That’s how Ryu Doha became Lee Doha. Although he wasn’t family according to the registry, he called Jaei’s parents mom and dad, called Jaei hyung, and lived with them in the same house.
As soon as he came into existence, he had caring parents, a pretty and affectionate older brother, a large house in a wealthy neighborhood, and a spacious, nice room of his own, so there was no room for deficiency or shadow.
Only after time passed did Doha realize. The events that led to him becoming part of their family were so natural that they were rather unnatural. However, at the time, as if it had been determined to be this way from the beginning, every process proceeded perfectly like flowing water.
Doha was incorporated into the Lee family and happily rolled around on the warm marble floor all winter. With his polite, positive, bright personality without shyness, and shocking cuteness, he had perfectly captured the hearts of the family members.
Especially Lee Jaei, who, like a pioneer smuggling seeds, had brought Doha into the house, pestered Doha constantly without leaving him alone for a moment throughout the vacation. Except for the time he went to hagwon, he fiddled with Doha’s cheeks, ears, hair, and soles of his feet at all times, and when bored, he would put Doha’s small, chubby hands in his mouth. Crushing his cheeks or squashing his body by lying on top of him was also a common occurrence.
Today too, Jaei returned home with snacks that Doha liked after finishing hagwon. As soon as he entered the house, he strode toward Doha, who was sitting on the stairs to the second floor, waving his hand. He picked up the body of the baby bear with a white, round face and black, sparkling eyes and shouted.
“Let’s squeeze Lee Doha till he pops!”
“Aack.”
Not once had Doha ever thought that such behavior from Jaei was annoying. When Jaei pressed his body, he would just lie still, squished, giggling brightly. The time his older brother played with him in a somewhat rough manner was just happy and enjoyable. So much so that he was already feeling sad that they would have less time to play together after school started.
Jaei defined Doha as “a lovely child who is simple without any complications, with a healthy body and mind.” Indeed, Doha was a bit more composed and insensitive than ordinary humans. Even when relatives visited during the Lunar New Year and made a lot of noise, he sat in the middle of the room, showing off his cuteness and receiving attention.
Ignoring even the peculiarity of being a suddenly appeared child from another family, he fell asleep cradled in the arms of elderly relatives he met for the first time, and ate unidentified food given to him by Jaei’s cousin sister without any hesitation. Eating whatever was given to him like that, he even foolishly chewed and swallowed the desiccant included in the seasoned seaweed. He didn’t get angry even then because the other person hadn’t fed it to him with malice or on purpose.
Jaei too was a bright, kind, and cheerful fool, but there was a difference from Doha by nature. Jaei was someone who, from birth, heard better, saw better, and felt better than others. He would sometimes hear sounds that others couldn’t hear and react to them alone, or suddenly be startled for reasons unknown to others. He was vulnerable to light and noise, often waking up in the middle of sleep. He was also sensitive to taste and would check the smell before putting unfamiliar food in his mouth.
But he was someone who greatly disliked situations where his characteristics made others uncomfortable. Therefore, there were many things he had to endure and bear alone, and naturally, he felt more fatigue than ordinary people. So Jaei often lay with Doha tucked under his arm, blinking weakly with a blank face.
Doha came to realize that Jaei was taking in and caring about all the everyday noises that he himself would hear without much concern. For instance, stimuli like water trickling from the pipes, the window shaking slightly in the wind, or family members walking around the house making footsteps were tormenting Jaei.
His parents explained Jaei’s characteristics to Doha in an easy-to-understand way. They said that Jaei had been suffering from insomnia much more frequently since last year, and that he had even suffered from hallucinations of seeing dead people appear before his eyes. So they asked Doha to make sure to return to his room and sleep there if he got sleepy while playing in his brother’s room, so that his brother could sleep soundly. Doha nodded, linking his left pinky with his father’s finger and his right pinky with his mother’s.
The one who knew these characteristics best was, of course, Lee Jaei himself. However, Jaei simply could not resist his craving for cuteness. He was full of desire to hug small, pretty Doha and use him as a body pillow every night.
After enduring for four weeks, Jaei, prepared for his biological clock to break, politely offered Doha five dinosaur stickers as a bribe and proposed that they sleep together.
“Lee Doha, sleep with hyung tonight.”
Doha shook his head left and right, firmly expressing his refusal, and ran away. However, Jaei was able to quickly find Doha, who was lying carelessly in front of the boiler room wearing cute dinosaur pajamas. The 173cm Lee Jaei promptly picked up the mere 130cm Lee Doha and kidnapped him to the bedroom.
Hugged like a body pillow in Jaei’s arms, Doha accepted the fact that he couldn’t return to his room on his own strength and sank into deep thought. Wondering if there was a way he wouldn’t disturb Jaei’s sleep, he reached out and fiddled with Jaei’s ears, which were visible even in the dark.
Jaei had larger eyes and ears than others. Perhaps the answer lies in those large eyes and ears? His eyes are large, so he sees well, and his ears are large, so he hears well.
“I think hyung is a fennec fox.”
“……”
Momentarily wiping the smile from his lips, Jaei remained silent for a while with his mouth closed, then slightly trembling his pupils, carefully asked.
“Why do I look like a fennec fox?”
“Fennec foxes have really big ears so they hear sounds well. I saw it in a book.”
Doha, who had chosen a fox among various animals as resembling Jaei, comforted the fennec fox who had inevitably come to live with humans.
“It’s not scary at all even if you hear sounds. If a ghost comes, I’ll talk to it nicely and tell it to leave. So hyung, keep sleeping.”
He wanted to say, I’ll protect you, so don’t feel fear by transferring sensations into emotions, and sleep peacefully. However, Doha was too young to accurately convey the intention of the message he wanted to deliver. Fortunately, Jaei understood the meaning of his words. Regaining his smile, Jaei closed his eyes, nodded, and said.
“Ghosts aren’t scary at all. There are nice ghosts too. So don’t send the ghost away if it comes. And if a ghost comes while I’m sleeping, be sure to wake me up. I want to play together.”
“Okay. Then I’ll tell the ghost to play and go. If a bad thief comes, I’ll kick them away.”
“Yes, thank you. I’ll sleep, so you have to fight and win. Don’t lose to anyone. If someone tries to hit you, you hit them first. Got it?”
“Yeah. I can even beat tall adults.”
Actually, he wasn’t confident about beating an adult, but he answered as bravely as possible so Jaei wouldn’t worry. At that moment, Jaei’s face somehow looked a little sad. But there was nothing that could make him feel sad right now. Since it was a dark room with only moonlight and streetlight seeping through the window, Doha thought he had misread his expression.
Doha placed his small hands like half-moon dumplings over Jaei’s beloved ears to block the sound. It was an expression of his determination to definitely protect Jaei. Unfortunately, since his fingers were short and chubby, there was no soundproofing effect at all.
However, the next day, Jaei testified to the sleep-inducing effect of “Lee Doha himself” with a refreshed face.
“Lee Doha. I found myself falling asleep easily while listening to the sounds you make when you sleep. By focusing on that sound, I couldn’t hear any other sounds at all.”
The sound of a kind and lovable baby comfortably breathing in and out, the sound of a small heart steadily beating. That harmless and safe sound led Jaei to a good night’s sleep. Doha, who had slightly infected Jaei with his composure through sleeping together, was pleased at the thought that his existence had been helpful to him, and shouted with a bright smile.
“You can still hug me to sleep even when I grow up!”
At those words, Jaei smiled broadly, his face as pretty as a picture crumbling with joy. He tucked the kind-hearted child between his legs and flipped his body to the other side with a swoop. After rolling around on the bed with Jaei for a while like that, Doha decided to carefully reveal his mysterious and enigmatic identity to him. He was curious about how Jaei would receive the story that his mother and father hadn’t believed at all.
“By the way, hyung, I have a secret.”
Hagwon (학원) – Korean private academy/cram school
