# Chapter 49
The practice location was Hong Duyoung’s studio office. Jaei loaded Doha into his own car and drove him there himself. Doha, who hadn’t yet obtained his driver’s license, had been performing the role of sitting quietly with his seatbelt on and cheering for Jaei whenever he drove since childhood.
Until middle school, he sat in the back seat, and from high school, when his body had grown to adult size, he sat in the passenger seat. No matter where he sat, he never fell asleep or became absorbed in his phone alone while Jaei was driving.
“Wow! Jaei is driving at 25km/h in a school zone!”
Today, he sent 40 rounds of applause along with various exclamations like “Jaei turned left! Jaei stopped at a red light! Jaei started again! Wow, Jaei backed up!” He made a fuss claiming Jaei was a driving genius even when he just placed his hands on the steering wheel.
“Jaei successfully parked!”
Doha’s final exclamation marked the end of their 20-minute journey. Driver Lee Jaei, who always prioritized pedestrians and practiced extreme safe driving, shrugged his shoulders. Doha naturally kissed Jaei’s lips while unfastening his seatbelt, which had been restraining him as he concentrated on driving.
Jaei wanted to enter the office separately from Doha, with a time gap between them. As actors from the same company, there would be nothing strange about the two of them appearing together. However, today only three actors were attending the meeting. While Jaei always wanted to be Doha’s strong support, he worried that the rookie actor who was the same age as Doha might feel uncomfortable if he perceived Lee Jaei as Ryu Doha’s power.
He planned to send Doha in first and wait in the car for about 5 minutes. Just then, Doha’s phone lit up as he was preparing to get out. Jaei poked his head out and openly peeked at Doha’s phone. It was a message from Choi Jiwon, the rookie actor who would be Doha’s counterpart.
[I’ve arrived and I’m in the conference room now]
Jaei, blinking his large eyes slowly twice, grabbed his coat from the back seat and put Doha to a test.
“This person looks like me even to my eyes. I think you’ll easily be able to feel like it’s me while acting.”
Jaei could understand why Hong Duyoung and the staff said Choi Jiwon’s appearance resembled a young Lee Jaei. Even to him, the smooth facial features and mysterious eye shape were similar. However, Doha tilted his head, then smiled as if somewhat perplexed, waving his hand.
“No, he’s really handsome, but different from you, Jaei.”
As a fan of Jaei, it wasn’t particularly pleasant to hear about a junior debuting with the modifier “Post-Lee Jaei.” Most actors who had debuted with that modifier so far had appeared with publicity that insinuated they were new talents who would replace Lee Jaei, and the public seemed determined to disparage either Jaei or that actor.
So Doha, who had been monitoring articles and comments diligently since Jaei’s debut, felt aversion regardless of Jaei’s feelings. Even though Jaei didn’t seem to care at all. But the test Jaei was now presenting to Doha required approaching it as a lover, not a fan, to reach the correct answer. Jaei blinked his eyes and said:
“Tell me honestly. Don’t worry about my feelings. I won’t get upset over something like this.”
“Jaei, I’ve seen your face more than you have.”
Jaei had to acknowledge that. Doha was right. There was no one in this world who had seen his real appearance up close, for as long, and as frequently as Doha. The same was true vice versa. From the shape of their nostrils to the form of their earlobes, even the most minute features were imprinted in their minds.
“So my eyes see the differences first.”
Doha passed the test safely with a logical yet empathetic answer. Pleased, Jaei smiled with crescent eyes and pressed both of Doha’s cheeks firmly with his hands.
“Let’s pop them~”
With his cheeks squeezed, Doha’s lips protruded like a chick’s beak. Jaei gave those lips a smacking kiss.
Without any particular concerns, Jaei sent Doha ahead to meet Choi Jiwon. Arriving 5 minutes later as agreed, Jaei received 90-degree bows from Doha and Choi Jiwon. Senior actor Lee Jaei encouraged Doha with a skilled facial performance, as if meeting him after a long time.
Soon Hong Duyoung arrived at his seat, languidly carrying coffee. He handed the newly released script to the actors. It was a scene featuring young Yuha and young Heejai. Jaei sat with his legs crossed, checking the script with a serious face, skillfully marking the parts he would coach today with his pen.
Although Hong Duyoung had written the dialogue based on his own imagination, it contained some everyday occurrences that had actually happened between Doha and Jaei. Perhaps he had picked up some information from his mother in the past.
There was a scene where Heejai suffered from the antagonism and verbal abuse of other young dancers, and Yuha massaged his hands and feet. Afterward, Yuha embraced Heejai and lay down with him in bed. Jaei felt extreme stress at the thought of Doha performing this scene with Choi Jiwon and unconsciously rubbed his own hands.
Sitting across from him, Doha was checking the script, concealing his expression with his large hand. But Jaei could tell that Doha’s eyes held displeasure toward Hong Duyoung.
The script reading began. Hong Duyoung entrusted all directing to Jaei, and Jaei, more serious than ever, opened his sharp eyes wide and perked up his large ears. Doha delivered Hong Duyoung’s fabricated dialogue as naturally as if he had actually spoken those words himself. Soon, Choi Jiwon’s voice followed. It was Heejai’s tender confession of love to Yuha.
“Yuha! I. Feel. That on stage. My two legs. Are yours!”
“Oh my, Jiwon-ssi. You shouldn’t follow a rhythm there, and you shouldn’t be shouting at that part.”
Jaei involuntarily let out an exclamation of severe surprise at the terrible robotic acting overflowing with swag. Choi Jiwon, whose acting had been criticized, put his hands together in prayer and said to Jaei:
“I’m sorry. I’m an idol trainee. I’m debuting in May.”
“Ah, I see. I like idols too. You rap, right?”
“Yes. Because I can’t sing.”
“That’s fine. Being handsome is enough. I like handsome people the most. The ones who stand in the center of the group.”
Doha, listening to the conversation between Jaei and Choi Jiwon, closed his eyes and tensed his nose and mouth corners, imagining young Jaei flexing. Hong Duyoung sensed the casting failure and suffered.
Jaei, who was about to cry from trying not to laugh, began to carefully educate the young rookie actor so he wouldn’t receive harsh words from Hong Duyoung and lose his job. Doha, whose immersion had gone past zero and tunneled underground, also helped struggling Jaei. After putting out the urgent fire with an intensive short tutoring session, the man of the circle subtly signaled to Doha and withdrew. Doha responded to that signal.
Doha and Choi Jiwon began acting in front of Jaei’s eyes. Doha looked at Choi Jiwon with tender eyes and massaged his hand. Jaei knew that Hong Duyoung’s gaze was directed not at the rookie actors matching their performances, but at himself.
Aware of Hong Duyoung’s gaze, Jaei began to delicately twitch his cheeks. He also dimmed the light in his previously sparkling eyes. While watching Doha and Choi Jiwon’s heart-wrenching emotional acting—or more precisely, the amusing sight of a human boy and a rapping robot becoming friends across species—he deliberately rubbed his arms with his hands as if anxious. Then, as if he could no longer endure this situation, he rose quietly from his seat, breathing heavily.
“I’ll go to the bathroom for a moment. Please continue.”
Jaei, who gave a slight bow, left the conference room. Hong Duyoung followed him out. Turning around after Hong Duyoung grabbed his wrist, Jaei bit his lip with a crumbling expression.
“Director, this is too hard for me.”
It was genuinely difficult to hold back his laughter.
“Jaei.”
“I shouldn’t be like this, but seeing Doha act out memories that should be mine with someone else makes my heart ache.”
Having taken a liking to the rapping robot youth, Jaei made absurd statements sound plausible while giving Hong Duyoung a look that needed someone to lean on. Hong Duyoung patted Jaei’s back to comfort him.
“Do you still think of that kid as the dead Ryu Doha? Is that why you’re jealous?”
Jaei responded with emotion.
“Yes. I’ve thought of him as Ryu Doha from the moment I first saw him until now.”
“I’m sorry, but I personally looked into that kid too. Whether he’s Ryu Doha’s real brother, a relative brother, how many siblings Ryu Doha had, or if there was an unregistered brother. Since I couldn’t figure out those details precisely, I just checked his school and address. It’s true that he stayed with you in Haesung-dong since childhood, right?”
Jaei nodded like someone with anxiety. He was currently creating confusion in Hong Duyoung’s data collection with his divinely inspired acting.
“Yes, I took care of him. I really thought Doha had come back to life, so I let him live with the name Doha. But the more I devote my heart to him… I keep feeling fatigued… and feel like I’m withering away…”
He nervously bit his finger. Outwardly, it looked like he was relieving tension by inflicting wounds on his own body, but professional actor Lee Jaei was exquisitely controlling the intensity to avoid leaving teeth marks on his well-maintained beautiful hands.
Hong Duyoung let Jaei rest in his personal workroom, ended today’s schedule earlier than planned, sent Choi Jiwon away, and left only Doha in the conference room. Doha, who had made a same-age idol rapper friend today, stood firmly in front of the man who had called him in, taking deep breaths and attempting emotional immersion. Soon Hong Duyoung, with hands in his pants pockets, asked:
“I’ll speak casually now. What exactly is your relationship with Jaei?”
Blinking his large eyes, Doha answered boldly and concisely:
“We slept together.”
Hong Duyoung wore an expression suggesting he hadn’t imagined this at all. He seemed greatly shocked. From the beginning, he hadn’t imagined that even the relationship between the dead Ryu Doha and Lee Jaei, which was merely a strange relationship with a bond and tenderness beyond friendship, would have developed into an actual romantic relationship, so his surprise was understandable.
“Jaei wouldn’t do that. Did you force him?”
In that moment, Doha’s expression genuinely twisted. Hong Duyoung’s shouted sentence clearly revealed how he thought of Jaei. Hong Duyoung was truly sharing an intensely sacred “real love” with Jaei through their work. Spiritual love through art.
He tried to smooth his contorted face and relaxed the tension in his eyes. Hong Duyoung’s glaring eyes were saying, “Your desire and my affection are on different dimensions.” Doha, who had always been evaluated by Jaei as someone with an angelic face who could still perform villain roles well, continued with a vile smile at the corners of his mouth.
“Do you still think I appeared to take revenge on you for my brother? Is there a reason for that?”
“That’s what I want to ask. I fulfilled my responsibility to your brother.”
“What if the target of my revenge isn’t you.”
He tilted his head to the side. Ryu Doha, who had received one-on-one acting guidance from Lee Jaei, did his best to amplify Hong Duyoung’s confusion.
“As I grew up, I found out who really killed my brother.”
Staring at Hong Duyoung’s wavering pupils, Doha continued:
“The person who began to hate our brother after losing to him at an audition at fourteen, who ignored and hung up on his call for help, letting our brother die, and who took the place that should have originally been our brother’s, flourishing as an actor.”
From now on, the ones developing the narrative of Hong Duyoung’s film are Ryu Doha and Lee Jaei. All the way to the ending.
