# Chapter 38
“Ryu Doha was talented enough that the director chose him over me after seeing him act in person. If Doha’s brother, who looks similar and has the same skills as you think, has really debuted, please don’t reject him from the audition for such an absurd reason.”
“That kid just glared at me like he wanted to kill me. He stared at me with eyes that looked like he really wanted to do something bad to me.”
Hong Duyoung spoke in a serious whisper, having no idea why Doha had glared at him. Jaei tilted his head and asked.
“…But Doha died in an accident, didn’t he?”
“…”
An awkward silence fell as Hong Duyoung gave no answer.
“So whether that boy is Doha’s brother or the real Doha, there’s no reason for him to harbor ill feelings toward you, Director. It’s your imagination.”
Jaei continued with a bright, innocent smile.
“Director, I’ve seen Doha’s face for so long that I can recognize him too. How he speaks, what expressions he makes. So I… when I see that friend, I feel like Doha has come back to life.”
Hong Duyoung snickered as if it was absolutely ridiculous. But for a moment, his eyes showed intense fear. Jaei put down his empty coffee cup and started drinking warm water from his tumbler, speaking slowly in a languid voice.
“It feels really strange to imagine a child like that playing the young version of a character modeled after Doha. So if we work together on a project, I think I could deliver a truly outstanding performance. The best acting I’ll never be able to replicate again in my life.”
Jaei, who had maintained alertness throughout the conversation with caffeine, eased his tension with warm water as he concluded the talk. Having gotten what he wanted from Hong Duyoung with his final words, he left the lounge first.
Doha was sitting on the sofa placed in front of the office entrance, waiting to go home with his capable CEO. Soon, the door to Hong Duyoung’s workspace opened and the awaited Jaei walked out.
Hong Duyoung, who followed behind Jaei, stared intently at Doha. Having confirmed that Jaei didn’t love Hong Duyoung, Doha withdrew his sharp gaze and bowed respectfully toward him. That didn’t mean his unpleasant feelings toward Hong Duyoung had disappeared though.
Jaei was well aware that his body wasn’t particularly healthy. He had maintained a state of excessive tension for too long while facing Hong Duyoung, pretending to be strong and relying on mental fortitude. He had overworked his body trying to disguise his intense hatred with kindness. He was now in such a sensitive state that even the brush of clothing against his skin felt painful. He barely stood upright, holding onto Doha with his thin hands.
“You passed. If that’s what you want to do, do it.”
“Really? Did I pass because I did well, or was it a free pass?”
Doha smiled broadly with joy. Jaei reached out to Doha, who was about to thank Hong Duyoung. He caressed his cheek to prevent him from giving thanks, and deliberately spoke loud enough for Hong Duyoung to hear.
“I’ll assign a security team when you start the next project. An actor’s safety is the most important thing.”
Feeling very embarrassed by the CEO’s excessive treatment, Doha pressed his lips close to Jaei’s ear. Doha, whose hands had once resembled half-moon dumplings but were now about three times larger, covered his mouth with his large hands—with prominent veins and knuckles—and whispered into Jaei’s ear, which was as large as a fennec fox’s.
“Not a single person on the street recognizes me. I was honestly a bit disappointed, but really, not a single person. I even deliberately took walks in the park, but the neighborhood people didn’t recognize me either. Only the dogs I often meet during walks recognize me and wag their tails. So I obviously don’t need bodyguards.”
Jaei stroked the head of the slightly discouraged rookie actor and encouraged him.
“It’s not that they don’t recognize you; they’re just pretending not to know. These days, people don’t make a fuss or act like they know celebrities when they see them on the street. Everyone respects celebrities’ privacy. Being a celebrity isn’t anything special anyway.”
Doha, who had gained enlightenment from Jaei’s answer, nodded with round eyes.
“I see. I didn’t know that.”
Jaei lightly pinched Doha’s cheek and smiled, trying to manage his expression despite feeling slight abdominal pain since earlier. Not wanting to show weakness in front of Hong Duyoung, he grabbed Doha’s wrist and hurriedly walked out of the office. However, he didn’t get far before losing consciousness. Before Jaei’s thin body could touch the cold floor, Doha caught him with his entire body.
“Hyung, what’s wrong! Are you okay?”
Doha carried the unconscious Jaei in his arms and urgently caught an elevator. He had seen a general hospital across from the building when they arrived earlier. He judged it would be much faster to run to the emergency room carrying Jaei than to call an ambulance.
“Lee Jaei! Why is your body so weak!”
As he got on the elevator and tried to press the “close” button with his elbow, Hong Duyoung pushed himself through the closing doors and boarded the elevator with them. In that moment, Doha felt somehow uneasy. It was a dirty feeling, like his mind was going blank and his stomach was getting bloated.
The elevator doors closed. Hong Duyoung briefly looked down at Jaei in Doha’s arms with concerned eyes, then asked Doha in an eerie voice.
“Why is the student’s name Ryu Doha? No, more importantly, why is your real name Lee Doha?”
It was a strange question. Doha stared at him with a baffled expression before giving the most logical answer.
“My name uses the ‘do’ meaning peach and the ‘ha’ meaning summer. What about you, Director?”
Hong Duyoung made a confused expression and answered hesitantly.
“The ‘du’ meaning head and the ‘young’ meaning brightness.”
“I guess people really live up to their names. I look like a peach, and you’re bright-headed, Director.”
“Why do you keep calling yourself Doha?”
At that moment, Doha noticed that Hong Duyoung’s hands were trembling slightly. His eyes were bloodshot. Though Doha couldn’t understand what this man’s intentions were in saying such things, he exercised quick wit and asked casually, as if he knew something.
“Is there a reason why my name shouldn’t be Doha?”
“Ryu Doha died a long time ago, and you’re Ryu Doha’s brother. A younger brother wouldn’t use the same name as his older brother.”
Died? Doha knew one “dead person.” It was Lee Jaei’s first love. He closed his mouth briefly and sank into thought. Meanwhile, Hong Duyoung continued speaking as if trying to convince himself of something that hadn’t been asked.
“You probably already know, but your brother, the real Ryu Doha, had an accident in a private space after finishing filming. I fulfilled my professional responsibility and paid sufficient condolence money. So I don’t think Ryu Doha’s family would hold a grudge against me.”
Doha connected the pieces of information he had collected and probed him once more.
“You think… I’m Ryu Doha’s brother?”
“Of course, what else could it be? I’m a very realistic person.”
“Does Senior Jaei think so too? That I’m the dead Ryu Doha’s biological brother?”
* * *
It wasn’t just the mind game with Hong Duyoung that was the problem. Besides feeling hatred toward Hong Duyoung, there had been too many things to worry about. Work as an actor, work as a company CEO, forgiving the human Lee Jaei, and caring for and loving Doha. He had to endure and accomplish everything alone. The stress had gradually damaged his body. His esophagus and stomach, which had periodically malfunctioned, once again lost their function. He eventually had to be hospitalized, but Jaei considered the IV drip in his arm a medal of honor.
Doha, who had passed the audition for Hong Duyoung’s new work, attended his last semester as a high school student while preparing for the upcoming project. It was less than two months until he would become an adult. To commemorate that day, he bought a tear-off calendar and hung it in his classroom, tearing off a page each day. After regular classes ended, he would visit the private room Jaei was using and nurse him personally.
And now, caregiver Lee Doha had been sighing for three days while taking meticulous care of patient Lee Jaei. He would diligently attend to Jaei but suddenly sigh quietly, or be watching a drama with a composed face and then abruptly lower his head in distress. He had also become noticeably less talkative. Jaei, having no way of knowing Doha’s troubled mind, obliviously nuzzled his face against Doha’s forearm and called his name.
“Ryu Doha, stop sighing. I’ll get better soon. Just a few more days of rest and I’ll be fine.”
He affectionately called Doha by his original name, which he had reclaimed as an actor. But Doha’s response was anything but affectionate.
“Usually, just call me Lee Doha. I’ve lived as Lee Doha since I was too young, so this name is much more familiar. When you call me Ryu Doha, it feels like you’re calling someone else. Not me, but someone else.”
“I see, okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way.”
Having experienced Doha’s cold tone and attitude once a very long time ago, Jaei appeased his feelings and then closed his mouth with a startled expression. As he blinked his frightened eyes while fluttering his eyelashes like a fan, Doha gently stroked Jaei’s long eyelashes with his finger. But he quickly withdrew his hand and turned his head away.
Jaei thought for a moment about Doha’s attitude. Making the rash judgment that the problem might be that he hadn’t been able to kiss Doha even once during the three days since his hospitalization, he tapped Doha’s cheek with his fingertips. When Doha looked at his face again, Jaei tapped his own lips and asked.
“Want to kiss?”
“No thanks. I’m not crazy enough to be desperate for a kiss with a sick person. I have something to say when you’re better, so just focus on getting well.”
Doha, who had snapped back in a cold tone, harshly refused the kiss and got up from his seat to leave the hospital room. Noticing that a significant emotional change had occurred in Doha, Jaei sank into another terrible swamp of thoughts. Why, what could have made him angry? The small thought gradually swelled until it filled his mind entirely. He ended up worsening his illness after coming to the hospital.
