# Chapter 38
“Hey, man or not, I don’t want to associate with someone so inconsiderate, okay? Do you know how hard I struggled for 30 minutes that day to stall for time? If I’d known he was using the emergency room as an excuse after drinking all night, I wouldn’t have done him that favor. And then calling me drunk and talking about his preferences… Ugh, did I look easy? That bastard, what’s different about meeting in person? Saying he seemed like a decent person. A truly decent person wouldn’t do something like that in the first place.”
Mo Eunje clearly showed his disgust as he downed the soju-beer mix that Ban Hajun had just prepared. He said he didn’t want to associate with the person regardless of gender because of their character, but it was hard to discern his true feelings. In the end, Tae Igyeol didn’t get to hear the answer he really wanted to hear about how Mo Eunje felt about the person being male.
“Hey, what’s with the topics today? This guy says his partner is a man, that guy says he likes men. That’s enough to make my head explode, so why are you also causing a scene about some guy hitting on you?”
Gye Minho pointed accusingly at Ban Hajun, Tae Igyeol, and Mo Eunje in order. Just looking at his reddened face and aggrieved expression from the slight buzz, it was clear he was struggling to accept the current situation. Tae Igyeol didn’t care. His entire attention was focused solely on Mo Eunje.
“So.”
“So what?”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ve already contacted Manager Yoon Hyesu, explained the situation, and asked her to take appropriate action because it’s uncomfortable. I blocked Writer Seong’s number right away. It happened before your dating rumors broke, so I’d forgotten about it.”
If possible, Tae Igyeol wanted to turn back time. If he could go back two weeks and somehow make the “Book of the Month” host recruitment rejected, then he would never have had to face that bastard, and none of this would have happened.
But thinking of Mo Eunje, who had been so happy and proud to become the regular MC, he wouldn’t be able to make him cancel that schedule even if he could turn back time. Rather than preventing Mo Eunje from doing something he enjoyed, it would be better for him to manage the surroundings more strictly.
“…Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You already didn’t like Writer Seong. Imagine if I’d told you this too. Would you have stayed calm? You would have gone completely berserk. I was already tired, so why would I want to take care of a tantrum giant on top of that?”
If he had heard about it at the time, Tae Igyeol would probably have gone after Writer Seong Giha. It was obvious he would have acted first and thought about cleaning up afterward. He would have committed petty atrocities claiming nothing more than the flimsy title of being like family—a close friend.
“You’re the one who got hit on, so why would he be the one throwing a fit?”
“You have to ask? It’s because Igyeol is Eunje’s butler.”
Ban Hajun’s pointed and sharp question was addressed by Gye Minho. Seeing Mo Eunje nodding, Tae Igyeol let out a silent, deep sigh. Judging from Mo Eunje’s reaction, it seemed he had no idea what kind of feelings were behind Tae Igyeol’s tantrums.
“I’m so frustrated I could die. I need to smoke.”
Ban Hajun sighed openly, grabbed his cigarettes and lighter, and stood up. Tae Igyeol also got up, hiding his bitter expression. As he headed toward the standing ashtray in the corner, he heard Gye Minho asking from behind if he would really set up a group meeting.
No matter what subject people discuss, in the end, everyone prioritizes their own affairs. It’s not for nothing they say that the thorn under your nail hurts more than someone dying beside you. Even Tae Igyeol, who had revealed his sexual orientation and received a warm response from Mo Eunje, was now worried about how to face him tomorrow once the alcohol wore off.
“I’m surprised. I thought you’d stay quiet even after I set the stage, since you told me not to act up when I laid out the groundwork.”
Tae Igyeol silently turned the lighter wheel, lighting the tip of his cigarette. He took a deep drag, breathed out heavily, but the tightness in his chest didn’t subside at all.
“But what can you do? He doesn’t seem to imagine for a second that the man you like could be him.”
“…I expected that.”
The white smoke obscured his view, making Mo Eunje’s smiling figure appear blurry. There was no need to rush. He had only taken one step closer now. He should have revealed his sexual orientation earlier, but because he was too afraid, it had taken him far too long to say just one sentence.
“Do you plan to confess?”
“I need to go slowly. So I don’t scare him.”
“Huuu… Fine. What can I say to someone who’s endured for 10 years? You’ll be dating as a hunched old man. At least it’s fortunate you’ll do it before getting into a coffin.”
Tae Igyeol let the ambiguous remark—he couldn’t tell if it was a blessing or a curse—slide easily. Mo Eunje squinted his eyes and laughed loudly at whatever conversation they were having.
Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. When he confessed, he hoped Mo Eunje would accept him with that same bright, dazzling smile.
&
“Are you really going to set up a group meeting for me?”
Gye Minho asked as he watched Tae Igyeol and Ban Hajun walk toward the ashtray to smoke. His tone was a bit awkward, but not enough for the guys walking away to find it strange. Mo Eunje nodded, playing along.
“Do you think I’ve only lived to be deceived? You said to gather some guys?”
“Which school’s guys will you set me up… they probably can’t hear us now, right? Hey, did you really not know either?”
Gye Minho suddenly lowered his voice after confirming that the smokers had reached the ashtray. Mo Eunje had expected this. But perhaps because he’d heard Minho say earlier that he felt hurt last fall, this time he didn’t tell him to shut up.
“Didn’t you see my reaction earlier? I was so shocked I thought my heart would drop. Hey, smile. Tae Igyeol is looking this way.”
As Mo Eunje smiled naturally, Gye Minho also produced an awkward smile. Keeping his voice low, he was practically whispering.
“What I really find outrageous is, what about my goddess noona Dael? Was he just playing with her?”
“What do you mean playing with her? He must have his reasons for not being able to say.”
“What reasons? You saw them holding hands too.”
“…I know, right? What is it really? But he’s not the type to joke about something like this.”
“Why would he hold my goddess’s hand if he doesn’t even like her?”
Mo Eunje’s mind became completely tangled at Gye Minho’s unexpectedly sharp observation. All his assumptions about Tae Igyeol liking Shin Dael had been an illusion. He had connected Tae Igyeol with Shin Dael in his mind countless times based on his small words or actions, so he didn’t even know where to begin correcting himself. His confused and complicated mind showed no sign of getting organized; it would be faster to just reset it.
“I really thought Tae Igyeol liked Shin Dael. They’re not dating yet, but you know that thing celebrities often say when scandals break? ‘Getting to know each other stage’? ‘Getting to know each other with good feelings’? Something like that, that’s what I thought…”
“Exactly. If he was playing with noona Dael, I’d never forgive him, even if it’s Tae Igyeol.”
This guy, who usually endured most things he didn’t want to do because of his timid personality, was ready to take down Tae Igyeol with his words after getting some alcohol in his system.
“What would you do if you can’t forgive him? Don’t say unnecessary things in front of him. He must already be troubled after telling us he likes men.”
Mo Eunje was still unable to escape the shock, but his concern for Tae Igyeol was greater than his own shock. Since it was something he truly hadn’t even imagined, he wasn’t sure if he had responded appropriately, and he began to scrutinize whether he had unconsciously said or done anything that might have hurt Tae Igyeol.
They had been even closer than blood family; bluntly speaking, they were the most intimate and comfortable friends in the world. Tae Igyeol must have had a hard time hiding it so perfectly even from him. Even if he had revealed his sexual orientation earlier, Mo Eunje wouldn’t have viewed him with prejudice. He felt sad thinking that perhaps he hadn’t given Tae Igyeol enough trust.
“By the way, you had amazing reflexes then with Ban Hajun too. If you hadn’t reacted first, I might have unintentionally hurt them.”
“…What?”
“Honestly, it’s a bit uncomfortable, isn’t it? No, I’m not trying to criticize them, but I feel somewhat averse to same-sex relationships…”
“Gye Minho. No one told you to like men. Have they harmed us because they like the same sex? Whether you respect it or not is your choice, but no one has the right to condemn them.”
“Hey, I don’t have even the slightest intention of condemning them! That’s not what I meant… Ah, I don’t know either. I guess I was just a conservative bastard. Why do they choose the thorny path when there’s a flowery one, making us worry?”
Gye Minho poured soju and downed it. Mo Eunje also poured soju into his cup and added beer without any particular reaction. He took a sip, but it wasn’t great. Indeed, soju-beer mix tasted the best when Tae Igyeol prepared it. Ban Hajun was also a soju-beer fan so he made it drinkable, but he couldn’t match Tae Igyeol. Come to think of it, it was a mystery how Tae Igyeol, who drank only soju without mixing drinks, could make such delicious soju-beer mix with the perfect golden ratio.
“I just had a chilling thought…”
Gye Minho, who had downed two consecutive shots of soju, met Mo Eunje’s eyes as if he had suddenly realized something. Mo Eunje could see his eyes trembling violently, filled with doubt and concern, suspicion and compassion, and denial hoping it wasn’t true. This ominous pupil earthquake made Mo Eunje anxious as well.
“What, what is it…?”
“I’m a bit scared right now. I’m afraid that the moment I say it, it will become reality.”
“Don’t make me scared too, just say it quickly.”
“So, this is really a reasonable suspicion…”
“…”
“Could it be that Tae Igyeol likes you?”
Gye Minho hit Mo Eunje’s head with a 10-ton hammer. Momentarily stunned, Mo Eunje tried to think calmly and rationally, taking deep breaths. When he substituted himself for Shin Dael in several major incidents that flashed through his mind, it unbelievably felt like everything fit together perfectly, like interlocking gears. He got goosebumps for a moment.
