Chapter 1
There was a sound like the sky crumpling. Only after the second thunderclap did I realize I’d forgotten my umbrella, despite watching the news about the approaching typhoon.
“Looks like it’s going to pour, huh?”
You stopped walking and turned your gaze to the cloudy sky. I watched you quietly. With your palm extended toward the heavens, you looked like someone waiting for the rain to fall. People hurried past us, quickening their steps in the atmosphere that threatened a downpour at any moment.
A flash of light suddenly burst from the dark sky. In a world stained with darkness, it seemed like only you shone brightly in vivid color. I don’t know when it started. By the time I came to my senses, you were already the only dazzling light in my black and white world.
“Oh…? It’s starting.”
Raindrops fell one by one onto your palm. One drop on your forehead, one on your shoulder, and before long, heavy rain soaked through our school uniforms.
“Hey, let’s hurry.”
Firm fingers wrapped around my wrist. My skin burned at the gentle warmth. Water dripped from your white school uniform shirt clinging to your body and your soaking wet hair. I was used to looking at your back like this, even while being connected to you. I’d been watching you for so long that I could draw you clearly even with my eyes closed.
I don’t know why you were smiling when you were completely drenched, but you kept smiling the entire time you held onto me as we ran. Even as I ran alongside you with my gaze fixed only on you, I couldn’t bring myself to smile.
I think I had such thoughts back then.
If thunder and lightning were to strike once more with a deafening crash, I wished it would shatter this heart that pounded only when I looked at you.
If that couldn’t happen, I wished to end this dragging one-sided love and start dating you instead.
But a relationship can only exist when one person likes the other first and those feelings are returned. I like you, but I know the texture of your feelings for me is different from mine. Hiding my feelings and staying by your side as your best friend is becoming a burden now.
A one-sided love alone cannot make a relationship.
“Should we order chicken after we shower?”
You turn your head and smile brightly at me. Even as I feel my pounding heart growing sore and achy, I realize I can’t stop. Neither loving you nor staying as your best friend while hiding my feelings. As the emotional weakling who’s merely swayed along, I’m incapable of stopping either.
That’s why I need to try even harder not to reveal my feelings—by cleverly mentioning the word “friend” in front of you and flaunting our friendship. It’s far less difficult and less painful to continue seeing you this way than to lose you completely.
They say love is about looking in the same direction, but looking in the same direction means nothing to me. I can easily look in the same direction by simply following your gaze—it’s too easy.
So I want us to look at each other instead. Just as I only look at you, I wish you would only look at me. The more my greed for you grows, the deeper my fear grows in equal measure. My world narrows with you at the center, and although I’ve never had any other desires, my futile wish to have only you washes away without a trace in the flowing rain.
I don’t remember exactly when I started liking you. If someone asks what triggered it, or why I like you… I can only counter with a question of my own: how could I not like you? From the moment I became aware of the emotion called love, my heart has always been directed only toward you.
But regrettably, my worries about not even being considered as a potential romantic interest by you were insignificant and trivial.
1-1
Toward the end of March, Mo Eunje heard an unexpected announcement over dinner.
“So… Mom and Dad are moving down to Busan, and you sold this house?”
Mo Eunje’s parents, sitting across the dining table, nodded in unison. Eunje couldn’t help but be flabbergasted at their nonchalant reaction, as if it were no big deal. The doenjang jjigae and jeyuk bokkeum that had tasted delicious moments ago now sat heavily in his stomach.
“Without even discussing it with me once?”
“Why would I need to discuss selling my house with you?”
“Eunje, did you have shares in this house?”
His father and mother took turns speaking, their timing perfect. This couple was most in sync when teasing their son.
“So you’re just notifying me like this because I don’t have shares? Don’t you have any consideration for your roommate?”
“We’ve already shown plenty of consideration by living with our fully grown son all this time. What more do you want?”
“Well…”
He wanted to say that he desired this 80-pyeong apartment where he currently resided—but whose ownership had already been transferred to someone else—yet his conscience wouldn’t allow him to voice it.
“But why the sudden decision to go now?”
“Your mother’s dream has always been to live in a house overlooking Haeundae Beach.”
“I know that. But why specifically now?”
It was something he’d heard since childhood. There’d been talk about it once during high school, but his mom had said they’d move after the college entrance exam since Eunje was a test-taker. And shortly after Mo Eunje entered university, his father had recommended he live on his own.
‘Mo Eunje. Whether you get drunk, stay out all night, or get into trouble, it’s your life so do whatever you want—but don’t worry your mother. I’ll find you a studio apartment, so go live on your own. Your mother keeps worrying because she sees you.’
That was the reason his father had given at the time. But Mo Eunje had stubbornly persisted with his good-natured smile. Living in a cramped studio after being used to a spacious house seemed suffocating, and since he was already drinking heavily, he didn’t want to provide his classmates with a hangout spot by getting his own place.
While his friends wished for independent living to gain personal space and freedom, Mo Eunje was guaranteed personal space and freedom even at home. There was no interference in his private life after becoming an adult, so he didn’t feel the need to live alone. The family motto of the Mo household was “Let’s each take care of ourselves.”
“I want to fulfill your mother’s dream before we get older.”
“Isn’t this decision a bit impulsive? Even if it’s Mom’s dream, isn’t it too spontaneous?”
“What’s wrong with being spontaneous or impulsive? Mom was really touched by Dad this time.”
“What about the hospital?”
His father, Mo Yeongwoo, was the dermatology director at MH Plastic Surgery & Dermatology, and his mother, Han Seola, was the plastic surgery director. The couple frequently appeared on broadcasts as expert panelists, and they’d been running a YouTube channel for several years, sharing knowledge about plastic surgery and skincare.
“We finished wrapping things up at the hospital today. We even had a farewell party with the hospital staff last week, and I don’t have to go to work starting tomorrow. The new director said they’ll close the hospital for about one to two weeks for interior remodeling.”
“If you’ve handed over the hospital, what will you live on in Busan?”
“We’ve already checked out a building for opening a new hospital. Construction there has been underway since last week.”
“How long have you been preparing for this to already have construction going…?”
He couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief even as he admired their impressive drive. He’d been practically living at Tae Igyeol’s house, coming and going so often that he hadn’t noticed such a major event happening at home.
“We looked around hospital buildings whenever we went to Busan with Yeonhwa and her husband. And this time, a building that was really perfect came on the market, so we signed the contract right away.”
Now Mo Eunje could understand why his parents, who could only spare time for two-day trips due to their hospital schedule, had only gone to Busan for travel this past year. Perhaps he’d sensed that they might relocate to Busan soon but had only pretended not to know.
“Exactly when are you going?”
“The moving company is coming Wednesday morning.”
“Next Wednesday?”
“No, the day after tomorrow.”
“What? That soon? Then what about me?”
“Yeonhwa said she’ll find you a place to live on your own. She’ll handle everything up to the contract once you choose a place you like.”
His mother’s best friend, Song Yeonhwa, was the owner of a fairly large real estate agency with nearly twenty employees. He’d heard that her specialty was primarily building sales, but apparently she also dealt with rental apartments. Or perhaps she was accommodating them due to their friendship.
“But no matter how close Aunt Yeonhwa is to us, isn’t it difficult to find a place in just two days?”
“Why would you find a place in two days? Take your time, look at as many as you can, and choose carefully. Even if it takes a month, you should stay somewhere you like.”
“You said you’re moving the day after tomorrow morning. Don’t I have to move out then too? Can I stay longer?”
“The people who bought the house are moving in the afternoon of the day we move out, so you do need to leave. Until then, stay with Igyeol.”
I knew it. Eunje was wondering when Tae Igyeol’s name would come up. What kind of parents notify their child about moving just two days in advance? But considering the personalities of his parents, whom he’d lived with for twenty-six years, it wasn’t completely unreasonable.
“He moved out because he wanted to live alone. How can I impose on him like that? I’m not that inconsiderate.”
“…Honey, what did I just hear?”
“I know, right? Such nonsense. Who’s the one who’s practically been living at Igyeol’s place since he moved out, who stays over at Igyeol’s whenever he’s not home, and who still hangs out at Igyeol’s place constantly these days? Is that a different Mo Eunje?”
Mo Eunje pretended not to hear his parents’ words and stuffed the last spoonful of rice and jeyuk bokkeum into his mouth. He brought his spoon and empty bowl to the sink, and while chewing, thanked them for the meal. And as soon as he entered his room, he called Tae Igyeol. He felt strangely sad at becoming homeless overnight.
— Yeah.
“Hey. Did you hear about my parents going to Busan? Not for a trip, but selling the house and moving completely.”
— I think I heard about it from your mom last week or something.
“What? You knew last week and didn’t tell me? How could you do that?”
— …
“Wow, so I’m the only one who found out today? Even you—my mom’s friend’s son—knew last week, but I’m just finding out now? Everyone knew except me? We’ve been together the whole time, and you didn’t even tell me?”
Mo Eunje’s sadness deepened. But before he could fully express his grievances, Tae Igyeol cut in first.
— So. When are you coming over?
