Four months wasn’t that long to have been seeing each other, yet Yiyoung was so deeply fallen for Chahyun that he couldn’t understand the reason himself. It seemed like he wouldn’t be able to sort out his feelings if he kept holding onto things related to him.
Chahyun rummaged through the box and frowned.
“I gave you things like these?”
Naturally, they were items that had no great meaning to the current Chahyun and weren’t particularly valuable. Yiyoung let out a deep sigh and belatedly answered Chahyun’s earlier question.
“You said it yourself, Chahyun-ssi. That we weren’t people who could see each other just because we had mutual interest. Those words were right.”
Though there was no way to confirm it right now, Chahyun probably had the same thoughts before losing his memory too. This relationship couldn’t be maintained.
Yiyoung took a big breath and said as if making a resolution.
“So I hope we don’t see each other from now on.”
Chahyun abruptly stopped rummaging through the box. Then he glared at Yiyoung with coldly raised eyes. Yiyoung was slightly surprised and intimidated to see Chahyun make an expression that seemed angry rather than displeased or dumbfounded for the first time, but he forced himself to continue.
“You don’t want to make the same mistake again either, do you, Chahyun-ssi?”
Yiyoung had thought about why Chahyun had confessed to him in the first place.
Why he’d started a relationship with a predetermined end, why he’d hidden his identity. How long he’d planned to hide it. Whether he’d ever planned to tell him.
The conclusion Yiyoung reached was that it was a mistake.
In truth, Chahyun hadn’t dared to handle this relationship to the end either. It had been his oversight to keep seeking out Yiyoung just because he was curious and wanted to see him. He’d been swept up by emotion and confessed, started dating, but would have broken up eventually anyway.
Perhaps Chahyun had been worried that the relationship he’d rashly started might become too serious. Just like now, when he was saying to meet for just two months and then break up.
Chahyun before him, who had completely forgotten all such lessons, just seemed dissatisfied.
“So you’re rejecting me again?”
“Yes.”
Chahyun lifted his chin and exhaled a long breath into the air.
For once, Chahyun looked flustered. His urgent state of mind could be read in the gesture of wetting his lower lip and repeatedly sweeping back his bangs. Chahyun looked at Yiyoung with eyes that couldn’t understand him.
“You said you liked me. Then meeting me for two more months shouldn’t be difficult.”
“That might be the case for you, Chahyun-ssi, but not for me. That’s exactly why it’s harder for me.”
Now, when Chahyun had forgotten Yiyoung and Yiyoung felt unfamiliar with Chahyun, was the easiest timing to break up. If he’d fallen this much for Chahyun in just 4 months, he couldn’t guarantee what it would be like after two more months. Just now, hadn’t Yiyoung found even Chahyun’s arrogant behavior cute?
Yiyoung had to be careful not to like Chahyun again. Chahyun asked quite seriously.
“Do I look like I’m joking around?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s a joke or not.”
It was true that his proposal to meet for just two more months and then call it quits didn’t sound very serious. Still, seeing him make the proposal again after already being rejected, he might be desperate in his own way. Either way, Yiyoung didn’t want to have a time-limited relationship with Chahyun.
“But it doesn’t matter even if it is a joke.”
“Waiting two hours in this cold, clinging to someone who says they don’t like me, asking to meet just once. For me, that’s really a huge concession.”
Of course it would be. From his expression, Chahyun seemed to think he was prostrating himself flat before Yiyoung right now. Yet Yiyoung felt neither honored nor apologetic.
To Yiyoung who remained still, Chahyun asked as if frustrated.
“Would I do something this embarrassing as a joke?”
Even Yiyoung’s brow furrowed at these words.
Chahyun’s tone was as if this situation of seeming to cling to Yiyoung was extremely unpleasant and his pride was mortally wounded. What a great personage we have here, really.
Yiyoung snapped back without realizing it, welling up.
“Even if you were sincere, I don’t want to see you anymore, Chahyun-ssi.”
Chahyun’s expression hardened coldly at Yiyoung’s answer.
For just a very brief moment, Chahyun’s eyes sparkled. It might have been reflected by the streetlight, or it might have looked like they were welling up with moisture. But Chahyun soon had a dry look in his eyes and murmured lowly.
“So even though I’m not joking but sincere, wanting to meet even briefly, you still don’t want to.”
Chahyun let out a long, heavy sigh. Then he gave up surprisingly plainly.
“Fine.”
Yiyoung felt a bit relieved that he accepted it so calmly. If Chahyun had been just a bit more unreasonable, it would have been quite painful to refuse again.
Though equally sad, this was a not-bad farewell. Thanks to that, it seemed he might be able to keep only good memories of Chahyun after much time had passed, which was fortunate. Yiyoung said in a much softer tone, his hurt feelings having eased.
“I won’t save the changed phone number. Whenever it may be, I hope you find your memories.”
Chahyun only stared fixedly at the large box he held lightly in one hand without answering. Though he was frowning fiercely, his eyes were somewhat dazed. His expression said being rejected by Yiyoung twice was absurd and unbelievable. But Yiyoung wasn’t in a position to offer Chahyun comfort.
Since there was nothing more to say, Yiyoung turned his steps toward home. Just then, a dull “thud!” sound rang out loudly behind Yiyoung’s back.
Yiyoung flinched and turned around, his eyes widening toward Chahyun.
“…What are you doing?”
Chahyun was standing facing Yiyoung’s house wall.
At his feet was a pile of recyclable trash that Yiyoung had put out according to the collection day. Next to it, a perfume bottle that Chahyun seemed to have just thrown rolled down.
Yiyoung asked repeatedly with an expression of constant shock.
“What are you doing right now?”
Chahyun, with a face that didn’t seem to hear Yiyoung’s words even in passing, took out an album from the box. It was a limited edition album by an overseas indie band that Chahyun had bought on a business trip.
Back then, Chahyun had told the obvious lie that he’d just happened to see the album of a band Yiyoung liked and bought it. There was no way an album that such a maniacal band had produced in extremely limited quantities with only commemorative meaning could be obtained by chance. Among fans, it was reputed to be an item that couldn’t be bought even at absurdly high auction prices. Even for Chahyun, it must have taken trouble to track it down.
Chahyun lifted the album, which must have been so difficult to obtain, to shoulder height. When he showed signs of throwing the album at the wall, Yiyoung shouted in horror.
“Stop it!”
Chahyun swung his arm without paying attention. Yiyoung squeezed his eyes shut just before the album hit the wall. When he heard the album case cracking apart, tears welled up in his eyes without realizing it.
When he cautiously opened his eyes, he could see the shattered album scattered on the ground. Yiyoung froze, turning pale.
“Ah…”
In that brief moment, Chahyun took out the next item to throw away from the box. It was a mug with cat ears. Yiyoung, who’d suddenly come to his senses, grasped the mug with both hands and shouted.
“Not this one!”
“Why? What is this?”
Chahyun asked back annoyingly nonchalantly. At a glance he looked expressionless, but it was a face strangely covered in malice. Yiyoung couldn’t answer Chahyun’s question and stammered frantically.
“Why… why are you doing this? There’s no need to destroy them.”
“Didn’t you return them asking me to throw them away for you? Or did you expect me to take this junk home and treasure it?”
“No, no. That’s not it, but…”
Of course he hadn’t thought Chahyun would cherish these things. But he’d never dreamed in his wildest dreams that he’d throw them away before his very eyes.
Yiyoung was so shocked by Chahyun’s violent behavior that his head was spinning. His whole body swayed as Chahyun moved the hand holding the mug this way and that as if trying to shake Yiyoung off, and his eyes stung as moisture welled up. Even knowing his own pathetic state was ridiculous, Yiyoung couldn’t help but plead.
“If you’re going to do this, give them back. I’ll just keep them myself.”
A large teardrop finally fell down Yiyoung’s cheek.
He couldn’t distinguish whether the reason tears burst out was from shock or anger. Only one thing was certain—he was sad. He absolutely couldn’t bear to see these items disposed of by none other than Chahyun’s own hands.
