Mikhail and I are fourteen years apart.
After Father passed away as well, there was a time when I secretly thought of my much older brother as a parent. But like many things I never conveyed to Mikhail, I never said that aloud.
Similarly, when I, born as the late child, was classified as having Alpha traits, and Father immediately made the newborn baby the family heir, Mikhail never spoke of what changes occurred in the heart of a fourteen-year-old boy.
Therefore, after my pheromones went out of control and I was reclassified as an Omega, I have no way of knowing what my brother’s feelings were like when he became the family heir once again.
“I think it was because it’s an unfamiliar place.”
In any case, the Mikhail before me had a tired face.
“You’re saying the place where you’ve lived the longest since birth is unfamiliar.”
“For the past six years, I’ve only stayed in the annex.”
As soon as I returned to the room I’d been staying in, my pheromones stabilized as if by magic. Mikhail pressed his brow with his hand as if nursing a headache.
In the meantime, the attending physician had finished drawing blood. Ointment was applied to my stinging fingertips. Having my body injured was still a hair-raising experience.
The grandfather who wouldn’t meet my eyes reported with a bloodless face that he didn’t know the cause. It was the most common thing said by all the doctors and mages who had dealt with me, including the attending physician before me.
“Is there no possibility this boy did it on purpose?”
Mikhail glanced at me between his fingers.
How unfair. In the past, I had never once lied to Mikhail. When I actually told the truth, he never believed me even once, so wouldn’t it be fair if he thought of it as truth when I lied?
“What are you saying? Anyway, I just want to stay here.”
When I pretended not to hear and only said that much, the corners of Mikhail’s mouth trembled finely.
“You’re saying you’ll live in this corner!”
“I’ve been staying in the corner the whole time, so it doesn’t mat—”
“So you’re boasting now that I made you live in a corner!”
“No, that’s not—”
It was Father who sent me to the annex, but it was true that it was Mikhail who kept me here for so long. He must have done so because he agreed with Father’s intentions to some extent.
The attending physician gathered his things at the deteriorating atmosphere and hurriedly left. While helplessly looking back and forth between the closed door and the angry Mikhail, I also added that I agreed with Father and my brother’s intentions.
“I’ll come over during mealtimes. I think I just need to live in the annex.”
If this didn’t work either, I was thinking of releasing my pheromones again. Mikhail—naturally—detested my pheromones. As I waited tensely, Mikhail flopped his body against the sofa with his characteristically tired face.
“Fine. Whatever…….”
In the end, Mikhail gave up.
“For now, try to manage your pheromones well. However, in the near future, you really must be able to stay in the main building.”
Whatever his ulterior motives, I nodded.
Just as he suspected, I had deliberately let my pheromones run wild.
I planned to do so every time he tried to call me to the main building.
Regardless of disliking me, Mikhail would absolutely never just let me leave.
Whatever the process in between, I had to leave this house like before. To do that, I didn’t want to change the major flow of the past. The past me continued to live in the annex until the very moment I left the mansion.
“Understood. Yes, I’ll do as you say, Brother.”
Just as I barely reached a compromise with Mikhail, knock knock, the sound of knocking on the door was heard.
“Come in, Rilke-ya.”
Mikhail welcomed him warmly, and Rilke entered the room with a pale complexion.
The child seemed thinner than when I first saw him and looked as pitiful as a rain-soaked flower petal. It was even more so because a white bandage was still wrapped around his right arm.
Rilke, who fell from the second floor, was said to have broken his arm.
In the past, Rilke had only fainted—or only pretended to faint—and hadn’t been injured, but pretending to be pushed and falling on one’s own versus actually being pushed and falling seem to be different things.
When I thought that far, I prepared myself mentally for the memory that vaguely surfaced.
“Joachim, did you apologize to Rilke?”
Rilke drew in a false breath. His vivid blue eyes began to tremble anxiously. At his seemingly frightened appearance, Mikhail clicked his tongue.
“How did you conduct yourself that your younger sibling is this afraid! Well, there’s nothing more to ask since his arm is broken like that. Just thinking about that day makes my blood boil even in my sleep!”
In the past, Mikhail, as the head of House Meyer, wanted to superficially resolve the disgraceful situation between his two younger siblings. He thought it was his responsibility to maintain the appearance of harmony between the brothers, at least on the surface.
Naturally, the method was for me, the perpetrator, to apologize.
Five years ago, I felt like I was going crazy with injustice and stubbornly kept my mouth shut. Mikhail couldn’t tolerate that behavior.
“I’m sorry, Rilke.”
But the apology I couldn’t manage in the past came out ridiculously easily.
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”
Because unlike the past, I had done it on purpose.
“……No. It’s okay.”
Rilke answered.
Silence lingered. Mikhail gave me a look. When I added the proper words, “Thank you for accepting my apology,” the corners of Rilke’s mouth lifted slightly as a smile spread. It’s a habit that child shows when he has the upper hand in a situation.
Only then did I realize that child truly didn’t know I had pushed him.
Well, the situation was complicated. Because he looked like he’d fall over with just a poke, I poked him. He might be thinking it was accidentally pushed while trying to catch him. Not knowing whether it was fortunate or not that the child didn’t know, I just watched with mixed feelings, when Rilke hesitantly began to speak while smiling.
“I heard your pheromones have stabilized.”
“Not completely. Even now, my pheromones are acting up again, which is this situation.”
In the end, I was going to stay in the annex again. Mikhail just watched the awkward conversation, as if he wanted to personally confirm that his two younger siblings were getting along well.
“Still, it seems much better. Even I can’t sense it unless I concentrate. That’s a relief, Joachim.”
Does he really think it’s a relief? Talking with Rilke is still uncomfortable. I hesitantly opened my mouth while watching Mikhail’s expression.
“Brother and I aren’t finished talking yet.”
When I showed signs of wanting to wrap things up around here, Rilke looked back at Mikhail. Mikhail, who had been resting his chin on his hand, seemed satisfied enough at this point and had a face that said he didn’t care either way.
“What is it about?”
After Rilke left, Mikhail asked gruffly.
After confirming the door was closing, I lowered my voice.
“Something strange happened.”
Pik, Mikhail laughed.
“Something strange all of a sudden? You haven’t been normal since you were born.”
“I haven’t been taking the medicine the attending physician gives me for a while. About two weeks.”
“—What.”
To be precise, the moment I returned to the past, I was unconsciously controlling my pheromones, so I had forgotten that I needed to take medicine at this time. Mikhail’s blue eyes were opened unusually wide.
“I’m telling you that since I stopped taking the medicine the attending physician gives me, I’ve been able to control my pheromones to some degree.”
It was two days ago, when I took the new medicine the attending physician brought in front of Mikhail.
I returned to the annex and was lying chronically on the bed when I was startled and bolted upright. A very small amount of pheromones was leaking out. It was a very subtle feeling that the past, inexperienced me would never have noticed.
“The medicine you personally brought the day before yesterday also seems strange. I have a feeling that my pheromones became unstable because I took it.”
Speaking of the current attending physician, he was the creator of the pheromone medicine that, setting aside the useless magical medicines, helped control my pheromones even slightly, and thus became the trigger that made Mikhail decide to bring me out into society. I needed to be careful, so I agonized for a while and tried taking it at lunch too. At dinner too. The result was the same. The pheromones leaked.
Come to think of it, it was strange.
I don’t know what he told Mikhail, but the attending physician’s visits to me were always very brief, just dropping off medicine and disappearing. He left faster than a maid bringing a heavy food tray.
Could proper treatment be possible?
When I was sick, I accepted it, but with a head that isn’t sick, it’s suspicious.
No matter how much I decided to live exactly like the past, I didn’t want my pheromones to become unstable again. I didn’t want to live each day as if enduring it with a boiling head.
I wanted to walk the same path but didn’t want to be caught in a storm. I planned to go while being rained on by drizzle. After agonizing, I decided to raise suspicions about the attending physician.
Mikhail’s decisiveness was swift.
That very day, the attending physician’s person was detained.
* * *
‘I didn’t do that! Really, really, Rilke fell on his own!’
At that time, the child regained consciousness. My voice was instantly drowned out by Rilke’s faint groaning.
‘Young Master Meyer!’
‘Oh no, are you alright?’
Everyone’s pitying gazes surrounded Rilke. Large blue eyes trembled and fixed on me.
‘…….’
What those eyes wanted to point to was clear.
Why, exactly.
I’m the one who should have those eyes.
Rilke still couldn’t get up as if the pain was severe. Someone supported the child. The gestures of trembling like an injured herbivore while wanting to get as far away from me as possible, the unstable sidelong glances. The lips that moved without making any sound.
People shuddered at the intense tragedy Rilke silently created.
Murmuring spread like wildfire.
‘No! I didn’t do that!’
Rilke didn’t need to say anything.
‘Rilke just suddenly fell on his own! Why won’t you believe me!’
Because to them, I was the boy who cried wolf.
Rilke’s gaze, the shape of his lips, his gestures. Just those three things were sufficient conditions to be devoured by the wolf.
