“I heard that the young Count Meyer saved His Highness Benedict?”
“I heard that too, goodness gracious.”
This was a small-scale salon.
Even though there were hardly any nobles who formed the mainstream of high society, the fact that rumors were spreading like this meant it was already over. I could already hear Mikhail’s delighted laughter ringing in my ears.
Curious gazes brushed past in this direction. Rilke hadn’t joined this salon. If even I, who wasn’t involved, was getting this much attention, Rilke would probably receive even more interest.
“Stefan hyung. Are you okay?”
I asked my cousin who had come with me instead of Rilke. Stefan had been feeling unwell since that day.
“Don’t ask me anything.”
My cousin answered irritably. The area under his eyes was dark, and his cheeks had become gaunt in just a few days.
He wasn’t the type to miss such an opportunity, but he hadn’t appeared at the audience with Prince Benedict, so he must have been sick.
‘Take that guy out with you at least.’
Mikhail had assigned Stefan, who had been holed up in his room with no intention of coming out since the gambling at the grand mansion, to me.
His complexion looked terrible and I was worried, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, there was nothing I could do.
“That aside. You really come to boring places.”
Stefan looked around and grumbled in dissatisfaction.
The salon was a small social gathering that anyone interested in magic could participate in. It was a meeting that Mikhail had personally urged me to attend. My brother seemed to think that this kind of vague gathering would help expand the base of my social connections.
The meeting was conducted in a free discussion format inside the viscount’s well-organized drawing room. It was after the viscount who led the meeting had spent quite some time expounding his views on the utility of garden magic.
“It’s not like there’s even a mage here. Well, he’s just struggling to support himself alone, so he’s trying to get some help. -I’ll go get something to eat.”
Stefan stood up, pointing out that it had ultimately been concluded with the insufficient research funds of the sponsored mage.
“Oh, nice to meet you.”
He said he was bored, but he quickly got caught up in conversation with someone else. Following Stefan’s movements with my eyes, I made eye contact with people I had been forced by Mikhail to exchange a few words with. They flinched and looked away as if startled. We had only exchanged brief eye greetings. It was awkward.
Befitting a family devoted to academic patronage, the drawing room had a separate bookshelf. Perhaps to protect the books, drinks were arranged separately by the window, far from the bookshelf. Stefan, who had gone to get snacks, was nowhere to be seen.
All the salon foods that the host had carefully prepared since yesterday consisted only of dry and sweet desserts. I stood with my hands behind my back and looked at the snacks. As always since coming to the past, I had no desire to eat anything at gatherings.
I firmly closed the heart that might open for snacks and picked out a book with a cover that suited my taste. I simply spread it open nicely on the table.
“What are you doing? A poetry collection?”
Stefan, who had returned walking casually, glanced at the book I had chosen and chuckled. Then he similarly picked any book and sat down next to me. Sitting leisurely with my cousin like this made me think:
The past that I had thought was terrible wasn’t actually terrible when I was living through it.
“I ate neatly. Do I have something on my face?”
“Yeah. Hurry up and eat by yourself and grow.”
“What are you talking about, you idiot. You’re the one who’s grown, you know? It’s completely useless for an omega to grow.”
I told him that he looked stupid with a piece of meringue stuck to the corner of his mouth. Stefan, who quickly backed away with a grunt, brushed off the corner of his mouth in embarrassment and said,
“Think about it carefully. There’s a reason Uncle and Mikhail hyung keep Rilke by your side. The noblewomen of the south do prenatal care while looking at portraits of Rolang. You grew up looking at Rilke, so why on earth are you like that?”
Even the cousin I had disliked wasn’t as unpleasant as before.
Was it because I had prepared myself mentally? Because I knew what kind of predicament I would face?
“You shouldn’t grow any bigger.”
“Well, I’m not in pain anymore. I might really grow taller than you, hyung.”
That was true too, but the biggest factor was ‘not being in pain.’
At twenty years old, able to control my pheromones, I was healthier than I had been at twenty-five.
“Wow, we’re not communicating.”
Ignoring Stefan’s words—he was sitting up straight as if to show off his seated height—I opened the book.
A healthy body gifted me freedom. Just the disappearance of constant pain was enough to open up breathing room. Since I wasn’t in pain, the comfort of the air, the softness of a good bed, the rich taste of food all reached me completely.
My mind was also at peace. When I had a sick body, it couldn’t resist at all even when all sorts of worries and concerns roamed freely through my head, but now there was enough light inside me that I could immediately ignore even trivial shadows.
In the past, I had been submerged and ruminated only on my own pain and thoughts, but now I could stick my head out of the well and look around.
“What book are you reading, young count?”
And I had become able to observe others.
It was a man with a sturdy impression whom I had never greeted before. I unconsciously turned to look at Stefan. My cousin glanced at the man briefly, then focused on his book again.
“You seem like a child getting permission from your parents. Ah, that’s a compliment.”
Only then did I realize I had acted like a slow-witted fool.
The man, who had been looking down at me as if gauging me, sat across from me. He propped his arm on the high table, rested his chin on it, and smiled slightly with his eyes.
Stefan’s eyes beside me widened.
“Ugh, I’m going over there.”
My cousin hurriedly left his seat as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have.
The man introduced himself with a smile as if Stefan had never been there.
“Um… I’m Joachim.”
I just sat there, shocked that a man whose appearance seemed like he would speak in an oratorical manner would act so amiably.
“I know. You’re the person receiving the most attention here right now, whether you know it or not.”
“My younger sibling is certainly brave.”
I said it seriously, but he burst out laughing.
He was an alpha. No matter how much you suppress pheromones, unless you control them perfectly, there’s something faintly perceptible.
“I can use magic. Probably the only one here?”
The man finally lifted his chin from the table and straightened his posture. I was definitely curious, so I closed the book.
“What kind of magic? Perhaps—”
“Ah, please pretend you didn’t hear what the viscount said. Honestly, who cares about garden magic these days? You can just hire a gardener. My elemental magic is quite impressive.”
Squinting his eyes, he brought his hands together to form a hand seal.
“Now, watch carefully.”
Before my eyes became bright, brilliant,
And hot.
Just like that, the world went black.
* * *
“—him! Joachim!”
It seems someone keeps waking me up lately.
“Good grief!”
This time too, it’s not a welcome face.
“…Stefan?”
“You collapsed!”
Stefan pressed a handkerchief to my face. Only then did I realize I had been crying.
“Thank goodness this guy came to his senses! Even if he looks sturdy, he was sick until recently! No, but he’s been fine lately, so what on earth did you do?!”
“I… just a really cute little flame,”
“Ha! This person still hasn’t come to his senses! You call yourself a gentleman, but even social reputations can’t be trusted!”
When the handkerchief was lowered, Stefan was reproaching that noble mage from earlier. I could also see the viscount who was the salon’s host looking troubled. The place where I had been laid down appeared to be a guest room of the viscount’s house.
“Stop it.”
“What do you mean stop. If I don’t resolve this properly and leave, this time I’ll get hit by hyung-nim with a teapot.”
Stefan was looking after his own well-being.
“I’m partly at fault too. I have pyrophobia.”
“—Fire?”
“It really, really was a small and cute flame! I’m a pyromancer!”
The man urgently interjected. From the way he spoke, he still seemed flustered.
“I’m truly sorry, Count Meyer. If I had known you disliked it that much, aah—”
“This is my first time hearing about it too.”
Stefan looked suspicious. Of course it would be his first time hearing about it.
The past me hadn’t been afraid of fire.
“I have no reason to go to the kitchen, and where would I have occasion to see fire? I just happened to find out by myself. Besides, if I prepare myself mentally and look at it, I’m fine. I just get startled when I see it suddenly.”
I turned to look at the man who was still fidgeting restlessly.
“I can even make stew.”
Fortunately, the clumsy attempt seemed to work. The man gave a faint smile even with his gloomy face.
After receiving apologies I didn’t need to receive and coming back downstairs, I was surprised when many people came to ask after my well-being. People’s faces held only pure concern.
As I tried to treat everyone politely, I was gradually realizing something vague.
Perhaps there had been people like this in the past too.
Of course, back then I couldn’t control my pheromones, so the number would have been much smaller than now. Still, I had learned from my four years of living away that there were far more ordinary people in the world.
I seemed to have focused too much only on my own pain, only on what I had lost. On Rilke and old friends, on people who criticized me.
The me back then had no leeway. I was so shocked by the whispers about me, the malice disguised as goodwill, that I was preoccupied only with those things. I doubted and rejected even those who approached with genuine goodwill.
It was regrettable.
No matter how oblivious and inexperienced the past me was compared to now, if there had just been a little more time. I would have been able to know.
So it was around September of this year, wasn’t it?
When Rilke burns off half my face.
