Along with a rough rustling sound, even with my eyes closed, I felt the subtle sensation of my surroundings brightening. At the same time, the pain slowly surging from my parched throat, waist, and lower body gradually brought my faint consciousness to the surface.
“…Water….”
“You awake?”
When I unconsciously searched for water with my throat clogged, a clear voice came from beside me. Unlike my voice, drunk with sleep and completely hoarse, it was distinctly fine and pleasant to hear. Even looking with a hazy mind through eyes I barely opened, his extremely satisfied and leisurely face was annoying enough to make me spiteful for no reason.
“Hey.”
“……”
Lee Hyeonseok always pushed me right up until I was about to pass out, but never let me actually pass out. If he had any conscience, he shouldn’t wake me in the morning. Every single time he goes out somewhere, he makes sure to wake me up to see him off.
“Seo Jiwoo!”
“Ah, why… It hurts!”
Today was exactly one of those days. When I finally responded with a sullen voice as he kept calling me while I was sleeping well in bed, he smacked my butt with a slap. The sound was loud but there wasn’t much impact, but since I’d been tormented until late at dawn, my body hurt even when left alone, so an irritated voice inevitably came out of me. Lee Hyeonseok’s low laughter could be heard, as if my irritation was so funny to him.
“Not even seeing me off—you’re acting like you’re the master here.”
“Where exactly did you leave your conscience…”
“I guess I shot it inside you and left it there.”
When I stubbornly tried to sleep without budging under the blanket, he began reproaching me, asking if I wasn’t going to see him off. They say among affections, physical affection is the scariest—perhaps because I was mentally exhausted and, even though I’d been drinking, I’d mixed bodies with Lee Hyeonseok of my own will, and after that we’d spent dozens of nights together, whether it was thanks to that or because of it, our relationship had become quite close.
To the point where even if I spoke somewhat selfishly, instead of pointing it out, he would engage in joke exchanges. Though for Lee Hyeonseok it was joke exchanges, for me it was no different from words testing my rationality. Sadly, even though it was a vulgar joke I was now used to, I immediately scrunched up my face and made a disgusted sound.
“Ah… Really, what did you learn growing up that every word you say is such a turn-off…?”
“Are you getting cocky because I’ve been so indulgent with you lately?”
“Now only the affection is left to climb, is that it.”
Even though we’d gotten closer, Lee Hyeonseok still immediately glared at me when I said something he didn’t like, but finding it too bothersome to deal with, I now appeased him almost at a spinal reflex level. He let out an incredulous laugh, as if my attitude was absurd.
“……”
After exchanging conversation, I, who had eventually woken up, turned my head toward the window where sunlight was pouring in as if shattering. Perhaps because July was approaching, the weather was excessively nice. It was practically no different from a perfect day to go out and play, but my expression was indifference itself. No matter how nice the weather was like that, I didn’t feel like going out, nor did I have the energy.
“If you’re frustrated, hit a punching bag or something.”
“Mm.”
I was simply languid, but Lee Hyeonseok, thinking I was depressed, stroked my head while recommending physical activity. Too lazy to correct his misunderstanding, I answered obediently without setting him straight. Perhaps pleased with my docile attitude, Lee Hyeonseok lightly kissed my nape. Really, more and more he treats me like I’m his dog or cat.
“I’ll be back.”
“See you later.”
Lee Hyeonseok, having played with me appropriately, finally heard my goodbye and left through the door. With sleep completely gone, I got up from the bed since it was about time for the teacher to arrive soon.
While changing clothes, I discovered a booklet on the table titled “What is an Omega?” The object that made me sigh just looking at it was a booklet I’d received after having a physical examination at the center a few days ago.
* * *
After having blood drawn and taking X-rays, as I was waiting for about 30 minutes, a researcher I was seeing for the first time, wearing not only a white gown but also glasses and a mask, said:
“You’ve manifested as a recessive omega.”
“Recessive omega.”
I knew it, but receiving confirmation from an expert’s mouth felt like receiving a death sentence. Whether recessive or dominant, isn’t it all the same omega in the end? Lee Hyeonseok, who was standing beside me like he was my guardian or something, nodded his head as if to continue.
“You’re an omega, but pregnancy will likely be difficult.”
“Phew.”
The researcher quickly resolved what might be the biggest source of anxiety for me after becoming an omega. I let out a sigh of relief at the story that pregnancy would be difficult, but for some reason the researcher looked slightly uncomfortable, as if receiving someone’s disapproving glare. Just as I was about to look around wondering what it was, the researcher added to his explanation first.
“Perhaps because you manifested acquired rather than innate, you don’t have a uterus. So it would be safe to say you can’t get pregnant.”
“Uterus….”
Hearing a medical term that would have nothing to do with me in my entire life made my head ring. I stupidly repeated the unfamiliar word “uterus,” but it still didn’t feel real. I didn’t really understand why acquired manifestation was such a different thing that the differences were so stark, but not being able to get pregnant—where else could be better than this?
“And unlike dominant or regular omegas, you won’t be swayed that much by pheromones, but…”
“But?”
The researcher spoke to me, who was overwhelmed accepting these burdensome facts, as if there was still a long way to go. I firmly grasped my consciousness that felt like it would faint.
“Your heat periods likely won’t be regular.”
“Not regular, you mean. Does that mean I won’t know when it’ll come?”
“Yes. That also seems to be caused by acquired manifestation. Unlike regular omegas, your hormones also seem irregular, and it seems more careful observation will be necessary.”
The researcher kept looking at me while explaining, but toward the end, he gauged Lee Hyeonseok’s mood and ended up speaking while looking at him. It seemed almost like asking for permission, but for me right now, the explanation about heat periods that could come at unknown times was more urgent than that.
“Is there some way to control or suppress it?”
“It’s possible with suppressants, but only the alpha version has been developed so far, so it’s difficult to tell you anything definite at this point.”
To me asking almost desperately, the researcher only delivered sad news repeatedly. At the words that only alpha suppressants existed, I almost demanded:
“Why are there only alpha versions? Can’t I just use the alpha version?”
“Since it’s medicine made prioritizing the investors’ constitutions, research on omega suppressants has relatively slowed down.”
Well, when they’re pouring in their own money, of course they’d prioritize their own bodies. Lee Hyeonseok hadn’t done anything wrong, but I felt resentful for no reason.
“And alphas and omegas are completely different constitutions, so even if you take alpha suppressants, it’s useless. Rather, there’s a high probability it’ll get worse, so it’s better not to think about taking them. Even alphas feel bad when they take alpha suppressants, so for omegas, need I say more.”
In short, it meant absolutely never to eat them under any circumstances. Though I lost energy at those words, unable to give up my desperation, I asked:
“When, when will the omega suppressants come out?”
“They’re in the middle of research.”
“So roughly when? Isn’t there experimental medicine or something like that?”
“At the earliest, next year we’ll have volunteers try it first.”
“Next year?”
At the researcher’s frustrating answer, knowing I was bothering an innocent person, I still ended up demanding again. What pierced through my feelings wasn’t the researcher but Lee Hyeonseok. At the answer that even showed a glimpse of hope, I widened my eyes and asked brightly:
“We’re almost at the final stages, but unlike with alphas, research speed slowed down because there are no volunteers willing to use the medicine we made.”
“Why are there no volunteers? Can I do it? If there’s experimental medicine, I’ll volunteer.”
In my urgency, I used informal speech then changed to formal speech. Because I hoped he’d look favorably on me and include me in the experiment. However, Lee Hyeonseok frowned, then told the researcher to leave, crossed his arms, and looked down at me.
“If you’re in such a hurry, you’re the type of bastard who’d just sign a physical waiver.”
“I already signed something similar to that though.”
I told the truth and Lee Hyeonseok hit my forehead. A sharp sound rang out and I regained my composure. Well, to put it nicely it’s a clinical trial, but to put it badly, it was human experimentation.
“…What about university from now on, what about social life.”
“University? You won’t be able to go.”
Eventually, with what strength I had left drained, I slumped into a chair, closed my eyes, and rambled. However, because of Lee Hyeonseok’s one sentence, my eyes snapped open. When I looked at Lee Hyeonseok as if asking what he meant, he still said insane things with a face that looked completely unbothered.
“Omegas voluntarily take leaves of absence or drop out due to discrimination and sexual harassment, and universities say omegas disturb public morals, so starting next year they won’t accept omegas.”
“Ugh…”
It was so absurd that numerous words came to mind, but what actually came out was just a short, weak cry full of shock. Disturbing public morals—there was no bullshit like this bullshit. No, what kind of discrimination prevents people from attending school in the 21st century—just as I was about to argue with the innocent Lee Hyeonseok, I remembered the fact that right now in the Middle East, women can’t go to university either. As expected, people need to feel empathy to realize how absurd something is.
“Then… then what about alphas! What about you!”
If heat periods are the problem, shouldn’t alphas obviously not be able to attend either? Even though Lee Hyeonseok wasn’t the one who made them unable to attend, I spoke as if aggrieved.
“The more powerful the bastard, the higher the probability they’re an alpha, and now there are even suppressants.”
I never thought I’d experience the feeling of being so absurd and pissed off that my vision turned bright red.
