The buzzing sound of the TV in my ears was annoyingly loud. What were they talking about? But before I could even narrow my eyes to grasp the situation, a shock immediately struck my entire body, making me curl up.
“Hh……kk……!”
I couldn’t breathe properly, so I grabbed my throat and rolled on the floor several times. Tears instantly welled up because of the feeling of my throat being constricted as if bound. I wanted to breathe but couldn’t do it properly, so I scratched at the floor in agony.
“Ha-hh!”
The ringing in my ears mixed with the TV sound, making my mind hazy, but it felt like I absolutely had to throw up what was inside me. So I crawled to the bathroom and threw up what was inside, and unidentifiable pills kept pouring out endlessly along with stomach acid.
“Ugh…… my stomach burns.”
The sudden vomiting inevitably caused a burning sensation in my stomach, so I had to grab the toilet bowl and pull my hazy mind together several times.
After flushing the toilet and washing my face at the sink, I still couldn’t straighten my expression because of my churning stomach and stared at the mirror with a frown.
“Huh.”
And I blinked. Because it wasn’t me.
A terribly gaunt face, sunken eyes, a pale face so white it wouldn’t be strange if I died right now.
That person in the mirror fumbling with bluish-pale lips wasn’t me.
I was on the tall side and didn’t have such a small frame—rather, I was someone with bulk. I liked eating, so there was never a day I was skin and bones like that person in the mirror.
The white T-shirt was stained in several places, and the stretched-out neckline revealed deeply hollowed collarbones because of how thin this body was. And clearly tied above those collarbones.
“A rope?”
A rope was dangling from the neck. Just like someone who had tried to commit suicide.
“What the hell. Where is this?”
I was so distracted by throwing up that only now did I notice the appearance of this place—an old, cramped studio apartment with a shabby bathroom and a musty smell. It was a strange space I was seeing for the first time in my life, far removed from the dorm where I had lived with the Fort members until now.
In the small space too embarrassing to call a living room, I could see a toppled chair and a rope crudely tied to the ceiling that had broken.
It seems the owner of this body I’ve entered had just tried to commit suicide but failed when the rope broke. And perhaps to prepare for the possibility of the suicide failing, they seemed to have taken strange pills as well, but I had just thrown them all up.
In this bizarre situation, I slowly turned my head.
The TV, the only thing making sound in this space filled with silence.
[Currently, at the funeral hall for Fort’s Cha Hohyeon, traffic is paralyzed due to many reporters and fans……]
I stared at the TV as if drawn to something, and blankly watched familiar people crying on the screen.
That’s right. The content of the news making such a fuss right now was……
“It’s my funeral.”
Absurdly enough, it was my funeral.
**<Part 1> Intro: Rewrite my life**
**Episode 1**
That day was just past the 5th year since the debut of the top idol group Fort (POT).
When the members reached their 5th year, they had enough leisure to joke around, saying, “Everyone said we’d fail soon because our group’s nickname was ‘coffee pot,’ but well, we’ve already reached our 5th anniversary. It’s really fortunate that now when people think of ‘pot,’ they think of us first.”
Fort’s members were each displaying their versatile talents in the entertainment industry, so now at the end of the year, they were especially busy. All the members were out of their minds trying to get on the nomination lists for various broadcasting stations’ award ceremonies.
Even though the members posted messages of gratitude here and there during their travels, moved by the great love from fans—with billboards and messages still congratulating their 5th anniversary, and continuously trending in real-time searches—to be honest, each was so busy that the members didn’t have time to properly contact each other.
Currently, the large van was carrying only two Fort members as it moved, and those two were Fort’s youngest member Cha Hohyeon and the second member Go Yoon.
Cha Hohyeon frowned as if the suit he wore for an important occasion was uncomfortable, but when his eyes met the manager’s who was glancing at him through the rearview mirror, he relaxed his scrunched expression and smiled brightly as if nothing had happened. Cha Hohyeon’s hair was a light beige color neatly slicked back, and his suit tie was loosely undone.
“Manager hyung, the clothes are too uncomfortable.”
“After the schedule ends, we have to go straight to the awards ceremony, so there’s no time to dress you up. Sorry, Hohyeon-ah.”
“Huh? I didn’t mean for you to apologize, hyung. You look really tired too—do you want to eat something?”
Before waiting for the manager’s answer, Cha Hohyeon rummaged through his bag and took out mints and chocolate, unwrapping them. The sight of him popping chocolates into the manager’s mouth, saying nothing beats chocolate when you’re sleepy, looked exactly like the manager and star had switched roles.
“Hohyeon-ah, you’re an angel, right?”
“You caught me.”
Cha Hohyeon cheekily played along with the manager’s words. As if embarrassed by his own words, Cha Hohyeon smiled the kind of smile that would make fans die from cuteness, then couldn’t hold back at the manager’s dumbfounded expression and burst into loud laughter. The manager, who had been watching Cha Hohyeon through the rearview mirror, eventually broke into a full smile on his tired face.
In their debut days, when Cha Hohyeon kept his mouth shut, he looked cold instead, so everyone was uncomfortable at first. He was tall with sharply elongated eyes, so everyone was already scared, thinking he looked rude.
But that was just a first impression.
Now, fans of Cha Hohyeon in Korea or around the world all knew that what you see isn’t the truth.
For five years straight, no matter what situation arose, Cha Hohyeon always used pretty and kind words. On top of that, because of comments that his impression looked cold, he always wore an eye-smile, and that eye-smile was so lovely it was counted among the best even among celebrities. In numerous broadcast segments, whenever eye-smiles were mentioned, Cha Hohyeon was always brought up.
Who could possibly dislike someone tall with a neat face and eye corners that fold so refreshingly?
“We’re candidates for the Grand Prize today. How about winning the Grand Prize for three consecutive years?”
“No way. I’m really not expecting it this time. Maybe other guys will receive it?”
“You’re funny. Hohyeon, you don’t know how amazing the Fort you belong to is.”
The manager said that, but Cha Hohyeon seemed to think differently as he deliberately hardened his expression seriously and said to the manager.
“Hyung, you really can’t say things like that anywhere. Promise me.”
“……Geez, the youngest in this group is the most mature.”
“Both of you are noisy.”
Cutting through the manager and Cha Hohyeon’s banter, a slightly hoarse voice sharply interjected between them.
At the sudden voice, Cha Hohyeon was startled and turned his head to look at the source of the sound, while the manager pressed his lips into a tight line with a face that said “it finally came.”
“Wow, Yoon hyung. You’re awake? But hyung, your hair is sticking up—should I fix it for you?”
The person who had spoken in an annoyed tone was Go Yoon. Go Yoon’s flashy ash blonde was originally swept to one side with the other side naturally fixed on his forehead, but since he had just leaned his head against the car seat, the back of his hair stuck up a little. Seeing this, Cha Hohyeon tried to help directly, but.
“Don’t.”
“But Coordinator noona……”
“I said it’s annoying.”
Go Yoon spoke sharply, as if Cha Hohyeon fussing in front of him was irritating.
“Hyung, I’m sorry.”
That day, Cha Hohyeon was strangely excited. Despite having slept only about two hours due to a recording that went until dawn the previous day, his condition was at its best. On the other hand, Go Yoon was on edge as if walking on thin ice and was more sensitive.
Since it was true that Cha Hohyeon had annoyed Go Yoon, he just smiled sheepishly and immediately apologized. A normal person would have felt offended by Go Yoon’s attitude, thinking their goodwill was rejected, but Cha Hohyeon, as always, smiled and apologized instead.
“I’ll be quiet now, so please don’t be angry.”
Go Yoon came to his senses belatedly. Even though he had a prickly personality by nature, in front of the easygoing Cha Hohyeon, Go Yoon was the type to pretend otherwise and give in. Seeing Cha Hohyeon’s face sincerely apologizing, he suddenly felt very sorry and lowered his head.
‘The worst dream.’
Because Go Yoon’s dream was so unsettling, he had unconsciously been sensitive toward Cha Hohyeon. There was no need to speak so irritably—he had thrown a tantrum in the wrong place. Feeling Cha Hohyeon fidgeting anxiously in front of him, Go Yoon pressed his eye sockets firmly with his hands and carefully opened his mouth.
“Sorry.”
Cha Hohyeon was rather surprised by Go Yoon’s apology and blinked before opening his mouth.
“For hyung to say sorry to me. Something really good must be going to happen today. If you’re really sorry, use my lap as a pillow and sleep instead.”
“You said your hair would get ruined.”
“I have spray. I can fix it for you myself later.”
Even though he had yelled loudly enough that anyone would have been offended, Cha Hohyeon was skilled at comforting Go Yoon. Go Yoon opened his mouth with a face full of embarrassment and apology.
“You’re really ridiculous.”
As Cha Hohyeon kept stubbornly insisting, patting his lap repeatedly, Go Yoon finally gave in with a reluctant face and lay down using Cha Hohyeon’s lap as a pillow.
“Hyung, is something wrong?”
“Actually……”
But Cha Hohyeon thought that today Go Yoon was really strange.
He was the type to keep his mouth firmly shut and never open it no matter what happened, so actually Cha Hohyeon had just casually asked if something was wrong without much meaning, but Go Yoon surprisingly opened his mouth. Not one to miss this opportunity, Cha Hohyeon immediately asked back.
“Yes? Did something happen yesterday?”
“No.”
Go Yoon waved his hand, saying no.
