“Does Eunchan worry about me?”
“Say Eunchan-ssi. Yes. What did you do to suddenly be like this?”
As if feeling good from just the words that he worried, Miro stopped covering his face and stared intently at Eunchan.
“I waited.”
“You nag at me so much but can’t do it well at the hospital. Lie down quickly.”
Unable to keep the patient standing, Eunchan took Miro to the bedside. After lifting the blanket and putting Miro between it, Eunchan sat down with his bottom pressed next to him.
“Wh-who nags?”
“There is someone. What, why is your arm like this again?”
“It’s okay.”
Above the loose patient gown sleeve, an arm mottled with bruises was visible. Eunchan asked Miro in surprise, but instead of answering, Miro quickly hid his arm under the blanket.
“Miro-ssi.”
“Yees.”
“…Is there anyone who comes here besides me?”
“No? B-but Eunchan-ssi hasn’t eaten yet… Let’s eat.”
“What did you do all day today?”
“I waited for Eunchan-ssi.”
The image of Miro waiting only for him in the quiet hospital room with no visitors comes to mind. Damn sympathy. He knows that the most pitiful and struggling person in the world is himself. Nevertheless, because his grandmother raised him with love, Eunchan sometimes gave love without realizing it. Now was exactly that moment.
Clearly, he’s someone who has more than enough money overflowing. His appearance is also brilliant, so there must be many people who love him. Eunchan looked at Miro, who was in a better position than himself. Despite having those good things, that person is sick and alone.
“Didn’t the police help much either? With catching the stalker.”
If he’s rich, he could just spend some money and pull some strings. Eunchan said while looking at Miro pitifully.
“Because Eunchan-ssi said he’d solve it…”
“The police are more reliable than me though.”
“I, I trust Eunchan.”
“Eunchan-ssi.”
“Yeah, Eunchan-ssi.”
He’s a person who’s bothersome in many ways. Eunchan corrected the form of address and bit his lips. There are more than one or two things to do right now.
“Food, won’t you eat?”
“Actually, I came after eating a hamburger. It’s okay.”
“Then at least snacks…”
Like a mother bird wanting to feed her chick one more thing, Miro kept fretting about not being able to feed Eunchan something.
“Do you trust people easily?”
“Huh?”
“It hasn’t been long since we met. You just hired me with money. Do you normally not be wary of strangers like this?”
Being friendly has its limits. Eunchan sat with his arms crossed and blamed the unguarded Miro. That’s why strange people get attracted too, isn’t it?
“But I’m not…”
Miro, who quickly became dispirited and sullen, turned his head to the opposite side from Eunchan. Seeing Miro lying down with his broad shoulders narrowed as much as possible and his waist curled up, Eunchan felt uncomfortable as if he’d blamed Miro for no reason.
“I’m just saying.”
Since the hospital bed was wide, Eunchan lay down comfortably next to Miro. Clasping both hands like an otter and placing them on his stomach, staring at the beige-toned ceiling, Eunchan soon turned his head to look at Miro’s back.
“I said I’d solve it within a week.”
“…”
“Is it okay if it gets delayed a bit?”
At Eunchan’s question, Miro turned around.
“How long?”
“Well, if I do this and that, a month?”
He could come for a brief hospital visit or eat meals together. Eunchan had the mind to share his time with Miro, who had an endlessly narrow circle of relationships.
“A month?”
“I won’t take an additional fee. But at least provide meals.”
“Yeah! L-let’s eat now.”
“I said I came after eating a hamburger.”
Eunchan closed his eyes. He wasn’t the type to open his heart easily, but he often disarmed easily for fragile things. It was also why he took care of stray cats’ meals, walked dogs that were always tied up. It was also why he became close with his hyung who had been confined.
“I was raised by my maternal grandmother’s hands.”
At Miro’s somehow pitiful appearance, Eunchan unknowingly began to bring up old stories.
“…”
“Grandmother was my family and friend. After grandmother passed away, I came to Seoul alone and lived.”
A few years after separating from hyung, grandmother left the world. Not wanting to stay in his hometown where no one was there, he came up to Seoul recklessly with the remaining money. There was nowhere that would hire teenage Eunchan. One evening, when he was wandering between jjimjilbangs and filling three meals a day with cup ramen, Eunchan looked at a cross shining bright red.
He did attend church when young, but it was only following grandmother, and Eunchan didn’t even believe in God. However, young Eunchan who wanted to lean on something was captivated by that cross and crawled inside the church. Whether he was lucky, fortunately he met a good pastor there and received help… It was a good memory but not pleasant enough to recall often, so Eunchan stopped thinking there.
When Eunchan stopped talking and closed his mouth, Miro carefully raised his hand to stroke Eunchan’s cheek.
“Was it hard?”
“…”
It would be a lie to say it wasn’t hard. Like a ship that lost its lighthouse, Eunchan had to sail through the dark sea without a captain or navigator, unable to even drop anchor.
Eunchan faced Miro who had the face of a compassionate understander. Miro’s pupils were as transparent in color as sparkling glass beads. He said he was older than himself, and certainly the atmosphere he gave off looked more adult than himself.
“Where in the world is there a person without a story? Everyone lives like that.”
However, comfort and such aren’t needed. Eunchan already overcame and endured it. He lived well alone even after the pastor who helped him went to Africa for missionary work. Eunchan brushed away Miro’s hand.
“So Miro-ssi should also have a strong heart and live well.”
It’s not just you who lives through hardship. Eunchan turned his back and lay down with Miro behind him. However, not long after advising Miro, Eunchan’s stomach made a gurgling sound, so he had no choice but to sit up again.
* * *
He said he’d go home and eat dinner, but Miro stubbornly held onto Eunchan who was trying to leave. Unable to refuse the desperately clinging touch, Eunchan reached an agreement with Miro to order and eat chicken in the hospital room.
When he tried to debone it with his own hands, Eunchan quickly stopped Miro. Instead, Eunchan used wooden chopsticks to tear off meat little by little for Miro. He briefly wondered if it was okay to feed a patient something like this, but since he ate well whatever was given, Eunchan continued to debone the meat.
“Were you hurt badly?”
Then Eunchan asked while looking at the hand still wrapped round and round with bandages. Recovery seemed slow—just how was he injured?
“J-just a little…”
Miro, who rarely easily closed his mouth in conversations with Eunchan, answered briefly as if he didn’t want to talk about the wound. And opened his mouth again. Eunchan deboned leg meat and put it in Miro’s mouth again.
“Eat a lot.”
“Eunchan-ssi eat a lot too.”
From the looks of it, it seemed he’d have to sleep at the hospital today too. Eunchan looked at the sky that had completely set and become pitch dark beyond the window.
“I have to go on a business trip, so should I have someone else come stay during that time?”
Since he decided to care anyway, he had to do it properly. Eunchan brought it up with the intention of entrusting it to Hyungsik while he was gone.
“Someone else who?”
“Hyungsik. You know, right? That—”
While concentrating on deboning meat and introducing Hyungsik who was one more person, he felt Miro’s atmosphere change for a moment.
“Hyungsik. Hyungsik. Hyungsik. Hyungsik.”
“…What’s wrong?”
“Eunchan, Hyungsik. Eunchan, Hyungsik.”
Miro, who was scarily calling Hyungsik’s name repeatedly, soon began to alternately call Eunchan and Hyungsik. Even his pupils were unfocused as he blankly looked at Eunchan, and he couldn’t stop the goosebumps rising on his back.
“…”
“Are you close?”
“With me?”
“Yeah.”
Soon Miro, who smiled brightly with his eyes curved into half-moon shapes, asked Eunchan. Even though he asked in banmal, it didn’t feel awkward at all. Even his characteristic stammering speech had disappeared.
“Since we’ve worked together for quite a while—”
In contrast, flustered by Miro’s suddenly changed attitude, Eunchan squeezed out an answer using work as an excuse. It was a strange imagination, but if he honestly said he was close with Hyungsik, it seemed like Miro wouldn’t leave Hyungsik alone.
“I see. Give me more quickly.”
Looking at the chicken still in Eunchan’s hand, Miro urged. Eunchan fed Miro meat again while feeling a red light turn on in his head.
‘Is Eunchan-ssi good at sensing things?’
The question Han Inju asked comes to mind again. If his sense was really good, he would have avoided this long ago. Eunchan looked at the grinning Miro and realized it was already too late to avoid.
After deboning the rest of the breast meat for Miro, Eunchan put down the chopsticks. His greasy insides felt stuffy, and the meals filled all day today with ramen, hamburger, and chicken were uncomfortable. Eunchan let out a long sigh and cleaned up the spread food.
“You’re not eating more, right?”
“Noo. Did you finish eating?”
“Yes. Drink water.”
Checking the clock, it was already past 7 o’clock. He made an appointment with the lawyer so that was done, and he also extended the deadline for catching the stalker so it was okay. The urgent matter now was moving the grave. The boss said he’d check the registry just in case he didn’t know, so he had to wait until the day after tomorrow.
“I, I’ll clean up.”
As he was trying to gather the trash together and throw it in a bag, Miro stopped Eunchan.
“It’s fine. I’m done.”
After tying the bag and putting it away in a corner, Miro kept looking at the trash with regretful eyes.
“Why, did you want to eat more?”
“No…”
“I’ll throw it away on my way out.”
“Yeah.”
Eunchan, who sat on the sofa and stretched big, looked for the remote control. He had to go down to the convenience store to buy toothbrushing supplies, and pack underwear or clothes to change into, but once his stomach was filled, everything became bothersome.
