The words “last summer” seemed to be a trigger, as Nam Heedo nodded his head as if he had no choice.
Just what kind of accident had Nam Heejae caused back then that even someone presumed to be his half-brother felt apologetic? My suspicions only grew stronger.
Having gotten the result he wanted, Baek Sahyun laughed contentedly, then frowned as if only now recognizing the state of his foot. The bastard looked down, then looked up at my face repeatedly.
His gaze seemed to reproach me, so I asked in disbelief.
“…You do realize you injured that yourself, not that I made you hurt it, right?”
Who was it that crushed the cup and thoroughly trampled it with his foot? But Baek Sahyun made an aggrieved expression like someone suffering from short-term memory loss.
I was the one who should really feel aggrieved, yet Nam Heedo glared at me like I was some scoundrel, seemingly fooled by Baek Sahyun’s possessed acting.
“How long are you going to keep taking out your anger on the people around you?”
And then he scolded me like that! I wanted to expose that bastard’s self-harm antics, but Baek Sahyun had already started walking away with Nam Heedo’s support, so I didn’t even get the chance.
“You go into the reception room.”
Nam Heedo said as he disappeared into the living room, and I had to ponder for quite a while about where this “reception room” he’d pointed out was. It was a term I’d heard a few times in movies and dramas featuring corporate executives, but I’d only seen the interior scenes—I’d never paid attention to how to get there, so I was quite troubled.
“Fuck, where am I supposed to go?”
In the end, unable to come to an answer and hesitating while standing there, I received a puzzled glare from Nam Heedo when he returned after finishing treating Baek Sahyun.
Following Baek Sahyun, I didn’t want even my half-brother to catch on to the fact that I wasn’t Nam Heejae, so I didn’t rashly open my mouth.
Through my experiences thus far, I’d realized that in moments like these, if I started blabbering, the situation would only worsen. If your head is bad, your tongue is bound to be stupid too. Unlike Baek Sahyun, who had a talent for fraud, I found it far more beneficial to my life to just keep my mouth shut.
“Follow me.”
Whether my silence-is-golden strategy worked or not, Nam Heedo guided me. Following him, I looked around the house. Though it wasn’t as good as Baek Sahyun’s villa, the comfortable atmosphere was impressive.
Various shaped wooden frames hung in the hallway, and a photo of a white-faced kid who looked like a young Baek Sahyun with his arm around the shoulder of a kid who resembled Nam Heejae caught my attention.
When I stopped walking and stared intently at that photo, Nam Heedo murmured wistfully.
“That’s a photo taken before manifestation.”
“Huh?”
“It’s also the last photo you two took together.”
His gaze, seemingly steeped in melancholy, turned toward me. Within it, brotherly affection stirred. Wasn’t it usually the rule that half-siblings didn’t get along? But the Nam family’s circumstances seemed to be different.
If they got along this well, why had Nam Heedo never appeared even once in the novel? I couldn’t understand the author’s choice. Instead of a crazy bastard like Baek Sahyun, why not have the relatively normal-seeming Nam Heedo appear? Then Nam Heejae’s life wouldn’t have gone to hell like that.
Nam Heedo tapped the photo in the frame with his finger and said.
“Even when we took this photo, I never thought you’d break down this much. Heejae-ya.”
Break down? I couldn’t understand why I had to receive this evaluation instead of Baek Sahyun, who suited the expression “broken down” better than anyone.
But Nam Heedo’s voice and tone overflowed with sincerity, and thanks to that, I could intuit that I would obtain important information from him.
❖ ❖ ❖
*Creeeak*—the impression I got the moment I opened the door and entered the reception room was this:
“…Isn’t this a study rather than a reception room?”
There were as many books as in a bookworm’s room. Bookshelves that practically encircled the entire room, and even books that had taken over the floor. Since this scenery was another first in my lifetime, I ended up talking to myself.
Then Nam Heedo seemed to understand my remark differently and answered with a sarcastic tone.
“It’s not like this is the first or second time, so why are you so surprised? An illegitimate child who doesn’t receive the chairman’s love isn’t wealthy enough to have a reception room and study separately.”
I was confused whether this hyung-nim was all twisted up or if I’d really made a verbal mistake. Since I wasn’t a delicate personality, I settled my thoughts on the latter. Seeing how hyung-nim’s expression had hardened, it seemed like it was a big mistake.
If you made a mistake, you should naturally apologize accordingly. Sitting down in the chair across from him, I quickly apologized.
“That’s not what I meant, hyung-nim. Please calm your anger. As you said, it’s not like I’ve only been here once or twice but…, it’s been a while since I stopped by, so I was just surprised by the overwhelming sight. There are so many books.”
“……”
“As expected, intellectual people are different. I fall asleep as soon as I open a book. The black parts are letters, the white parts are paper, you know.”
I thought I’d smoothed things over quite obsequiously, but Nam Heedo’s face crumpled twice as much.
“What are you saying when you’re someone who was agonizing over double-majoring in Korean Language and Literature?”
Oops. It seemed Nam Heejae was quite the bookworm too. Korean Language and Literature would be a place that literally studied Korean, right? I laughed—*heu-ha-ha*—deliberately cheerfully and smacked my own head.
“Right. That’s right. I’ve been forgetful lately, so.”
“That’s what happens when you go around eating alpha manifestation drugs.”
Fortunately, Nam Heedo seemed to regard my reaction as a drug side effect. Having crossed his long legs with a flourish as he sat, he lowered his voice as if to begin a proper conversation.
“Honestly…, I miss the old days. You goddamn blockhead bastard, Nam Heejae.”
Though his words were prickly, this time too, affection overflowed within them. The way he looked at me, the way he treated me, the mood he exuded…, everything was like that.
To put it simply, it was an atmosphere that reminded me of Jang Haesu.
“Sahyun, you, and me. We three were each other’s fences at one time, weren’t we? In this shitty society where traits dominate people…, I thought at least the three of us could go through life with one heart and one mind. That wasn’t even some grandiose conviction.”
So that’s why I felt favorably toward him from the start. I listened to hyung-nim’s story with maximum concentration.
“I’m a mistake Chairman Nam wants to erase, but I could avoid being abandoned just because I’m an alpha, and I could receive support. I’ve lived receiving what I should receive, but that fact has always been shameful.”
I hadn’t expected to hear about someone else’s life story here, so my reaction malfunctioned for a moment. I wondered whether I should shoot him a gaze filled with sympathy or just silently nod my head.
It seemed it didn’t matter much, as Nam Heedo continued flowing onward.
“Sahyun’s case is different from mine. That guy’s the type who has fits about being dominated by his own traits. As you know, he’s someone who believes he’s the only one in heaven and earth.”
I’d thought he didn’t know Baek Sahyun’s true nature since they seemed so close, but that wasn’t the case. Nam Heedo analyzed Baek Sahyun like a seasoned critic.
“And yet the way he uses his own traits more usefully than anyone is contradictory and infuriating, but even so, our positions were the same. I won’t be dominated by traits.”
“……”
“At least I won’t be easily swayed by alpha games.”
“For that, Baek Sahyun, that guy…, he seems pretty absorbed in alpha games though?”
Suppressing another alpha with his own pheromones until they fainted, finding the omega Chae Eunwoo repulsive.
When I expressed my doubt without thinking, Nam Heedo answered.
“I told you. He is someone who uses his traits usefully.”
“It’s not to the degree that can be explained as ‘useful.’ He embarrasses people by going on about how omega scents are this or that.”
Chae Eunwoo wasn’t born an omega because he wanted to be one. If he could have chosen, he definitely would have picked the alpha trait. Not just Chae Eunwoo, but most people would be the same.
But Nam Heedo showed an unexpected reaction. He twisted up one corner of his mouth.
“You’re saying strange things. You’re the person who used to be at the forefront of hating omegas.”
“…Li-living, my thoughts changed.”
“I guess this is why people say you don’t know until you experience it. If you’d felt like you were suffocating from omega pheromones several times a day, you wouldn’t be able to say that.”
“But still, it’s not like they’re scents people are born wanting to have, so why should they be judged for it…!”
“Someone who gets treated like a stud horse to spread their seed, you see, gets conditioned like Pavlov’s dog. No matter how hard you try to maintain objectivity, you can’t help but develop prejudice.”
“……”
“When you’re dealing with omegas who, a hundred out of a hundred times, spray their pheromones wanting to receive your seed just once. And when you’re stuffing suppressants into your mouth all day long trying to avoid those omegas.”
As a debate about traits arose, Nam Heedo instantly exuded a chill.
“You’d reach the point of wanting to become a beta who’s free from traits instead.”
Unlike Baek Sahyun, who overwhelmed others with his doll-like pretty appearance, he killed the other person’s momentum with masculine wildness. But I was dumbfounded. The favorability that had maxed out was declining.
He himself admitted just a moment ago that he could receive support because he was an alpha, yet now he’s saying he’d reach the point of wanting to become a beta?
“Don’t talk such utter nonsense, please. If hyung-nim could go back into the womb and decide his own trait, you’d pick alpha again too, wouldn’t you?”
I conveyed my thoughts without reserve. I could be certain.
“People originally all live only caring about their own inconveniences. They don’t care about other people’s circumstances. One’s own life is always the hardest and most painful. Just like hyung-nim.”
“……”
“But you know, there’s no one in this world who doesn’t have that degree of a story.”
That’s the truth of life I’ve learned being knocked around here and there.
