“There is, but… Master wouldn’t be able to use it…”
Well, that was true. I was a worthless person with neither martial nor magical talent. But if this was the only method, shouldn’t I at least try? Enjoying this world’s story was the reason I was born into this world.
Din Telliano, newly registered in Glutton, stimulated my curiosity while simultaneously bringing desperation.
“There’s also a spell called Polymorph, but this is too high-level magic. It doesn’t end with just changing appearance but reconstructs all internal organs, so it’s close to creation magic. As high-level magic, it consumes an enormous amount of mana, so Master can’t even attempt it.”
“Then isn’t there something similar to that?”
I didn’t need something that grand. What I needed was just to change things like skin color or hair color a little. But Belly said with a gloomy face.
“There is one among illusion magic, but… it’s impossible to change your appearance as Master wishes and meet others. When someone unskilled in magic casts it, the illusion wavers like fog.”
Belly faithfully answered my questions, and I kept asking if there were other spells. But there was no magic that matched my level. The only thing close to the desired effect was Polymorph.
In the end, there was only one method I could choose. To imitate that thing called Polymorph as closely as possible. It was an impossible task, but I had to accomplish it.
“Teach me how to Polymorph.”
“…It’s impossible.”
“Teach me, Belly. Hm?”
When I kept pestering, Belly began teaching me Polymorph.
But magic was a realm of talent. The formulas for casting magic were no different from a language that couldn’t be understood unless one was a mage. The kind that was impossible to even comprehend without talent. Magic becoming widespread would have been impossible without the discipline called magical engineering.
After investing a whole day, all I learned was how to manipulate a measly amount of mana. Even that was quite a big harvest. Something that didn’t work no matter how hard I tried before was working like this. As expected, when people become desperate, they draw out even more remarkable abilities.
However, naturally, there was no progress in performing Polymorph after that. For me, manipulating mana was the best I could do. After all attempts failed, I sat in the middle of the room in a dirty state, no different from a废人.
“Master… How about we stop now? Rose wouldn’t have wanted you to go this far.”
“This has nothing to do with Rose.”
“But…”
I stared intently at the formula I had almost memorized by now. I didn’t have the brain to understand the essence of the formula, but I had memorized it whole from looking at it so much. I don’t think I studied this hard even when I was a student taking exams…
‘Jay, something like you…’
“Huh?”
Then, suddenly a strange voice rang in my ears. It was an extremely familiar voice, yet at the same time one I couldn’t recall who it belonged to. That voice echoed through my head like a reverberation. Every time the voice rummaged through my brain, my head hurt as if being wrung out.
“Master? Master!”
Belly urgently lifted me up and hastily checked my condition. The pain, severe enough to make me lose consciousness, decreased as Belly stroked me. It was to the degree that I wondered if this was what healing hands were like.
When the pain barely improved and I opened my tightly shut eyes, I saw Belly looking at me tearfully at a glance.
“Master… Suddenly… Stop now. Isn’t your body damaged because you’re doing this?”
“……”
Belly spoke as if sobbing and hugged me tightly. Belly was clearly worried about me, and that worry was valid. Because my condition was absurdly terrible. Nevertheless, I couldn’t give up all of this. Because otherwise, there would be no reason for me being born into this world.
I still didn’t know the identity of this world, and I hadn’t met any other main characters besides Belly. But if I couldn’t even enjoy the novel newly registered in Glutton now. That would be…
It felt like the ground beneath my feet was collapsing.
“I can’t.”
“Master… Master, please…”
Belly’s embrace was warm and soft, but I couldn’t settle for that. Moreover, strictly speaking, he and I had different roles.
He was a person who would someday leave my side to progress the story of this world. If I didn’t do what I had to do and became tamed in his embrace, I, left alone later, would become no different from living trash.
Having steeled my resolve, I staggered and looked at the Polymorph formula I had been reading earlier. And I noticed a sudden anomaly.
“Huh…? Uh, uhuh?”
The formula that certainly hadn’t been understood before was now understood. No, strictly speaking, I hadn’t understood it. Understanding this with my intelligence was impossible. But instinct, an unknown power, understood the formula and activated it.
I scraped together the very small amount of mana and life force pooled in my body and activated Polymorph. A soft light flowed from my body. It was a weak light, hazy like fog.
“Master!”
Belly tried to rush at me desperately, but the changes in my body were faster. When the bodily transformation ended and I looked in the mirror, a completely different me from before stood there.
The freckles that had been dotted on my skin had disappeared, and my skin, which had been close to wheat-colored, had turned white as snow. The smooth texture of my skin was almost like silk.
My features had also subtly changed, but what stood out most were my eyes. My eye corners had become slightly sharper, but thanks to the black pupils that stood out against my white skin, they looked even larger than they actually were.
My hair was also black like the night sky, and it had a luster incomparable to my brown hair that had been like dog fur.
“Wow…”
I succeeded. I had succeeded at that Polymorph that was thought to be impossible.
However, I could instinctively tell. This wasn’t Polymorph. It was slightly different from magic. Rather, it felt similar to Glutton. But unlike Glutton, which didn’t strain the body when used, this ability that drew on mana and life force would surely gnaw away at my body the more I used it.
“Belly, I succeeded!”
“…Master, that’s amazing!”
But Belly soon examined my body thoroughly, and his face became serious. Unlike me, Belly was a proper mage, and he could see the mana flowing through my body. So he must have seen that all the mana flowing through my body had been used to transform it.
Mana was an intangible force used to cast magic and at the same time was closely related to the life force necessary for people to live. Therefore, all living beings possessed a certain amount of mana even if they couldn’t use magic.
That was the same for me, and in this Polymorph, all the mana related to that life was used. Not only that, I had also drawn on my body’s life force, so surely in Belly’s eyes, I wasn’t normal right now. It would be stranger if I looked normal.
“How could you… this… do something like this!!”
“It’s okay, Belly.”
“But…!”
“I said it’s okay!”
I pushed Belly, who was trying to dissuade me, hard enough to make a thud sound.
I knew he was worried about me. He had taken care of me more than anyone else for the past six years. To the extent that I seemed like some special existence. He cherished and cared for me to the extent that I seemed like a treasure.
However, even if he regarded me preciously, I was ultimately Jack. The useless Jack of this world, with no parents, no abilities, and no money. A shabby Jack worse than weeds on the roadside. That was me. If I couldn’t become a great being, I had to maintain my position as a reader. To do so, I had to do anything.
The inferiority complex and sense of defeat crawling out from inside, and the loneliness and despair I had been avoiding, mixed turbidly, and I shouted without knowing it.
“This is my business! Business that has nothing to do with a character like you!”
“…Master?”
Only after spewing out words that came from my gut did I come to my senses.
What did I just say? Perhaps because I had once confided a secret to Belly, my lips seemed to have become loose without me knowing.
Belly had stunned eyes as if he couldn’t understand me. At that gaze, I felt like I was being confirmed once again that I didn’t belong in this world. The feeling of being isolated from this world. At the loneliness and coldness rising from my toes, I froze with my eyes wide open.
“Master.”
“……”
I was so cold that I hugged my arms and trembled. Like someone whose soul had left, I couldn’t give any answer.
“Master!”
Seeing my state trembling like an aspen tree, Belly shouted so loudly it was startling. Surprised by the sound so loud my ears were ringing, I looked up at Belly. All my joints ached because I had stiffened from tension.
Belly, who was now much taller than me, looked down at me while gripping both my shoulders tightly enough to make them tingle. The stunned look from before had disappeared, and it was a somber face filled only with anguish. Because it was different from any appearance I had expected, I was momentarily flustered.
“Calm down, Master.”
“……”
“It’s okay…”
When it seemed I had calmed down, he released the hands that had been gripping me. After briefly lowering his head, when he raised it, I saw the affectionate and gentle Belly I was familiar with.
“Master. Let’s undo the Polymorph first and eat, shall we?”
So I matched him as well. I had nothing more to wish for if he would forget my disgraceful behavior.
But words once spoken couldn’t be taken back, and Belly had better memory than me. When it came to me, he was someone who remembered even words I had muttered meaninglessly. However, the touch of Belly helping me bathe today was somehow persistent and sticky.
