Yeo Dowoon immediately stopped in his tracks when he was relentlessly cornered against the wall. He didn’t want to stop him with force, but if it was unavoidable, there was no other choice.
However, Yeo Dowoon also ended up reacting as if excited by the consecutive attacks.
“Can’t you bear it without pitying me?”
“That’s not it, I…!”
“Liking me as you please, pitying me as you please.”
“I wasn’t trying to pity you. If I’d had that luxury in the first place…!”
“Treating me like an object until you’re satisfied, treating me like a doll until your greed is filled.”
Just as Yeo Dowoon was about to shake his head in shock, Cha Haseong roughly grabbed Yeo Dowoon’s chin.
“Accept it. That’s an Esper trait.”
“……”
“No matter how you wrap it up as love, you’ll only become pathetic.”
Even without that reason, it was utterly miserable. If he had decided to corner him, it would be a good choice.
“……I can’t say it’s not true.”
Yeo Dowoon, who said that, gritted his teeth. It was an acknowledgment achieved through great effort.
The relationship between Espers and Guides was nothing more or less than exploiter and exploited. And Yeo Dowoon was an Esper.
“Because I’m an Esper……”
So Cha Haseong wasn’t saying anything wrong. He didn’t feel like arguing with him either. A voice that seemed resigned fell quietly.
“Because I’m an Esper, even I’m sick of myself.”
Superhumans and whatnot, they were all nothing but worthless evaluations. Yeo Dowoon clumsily changed the subject, afraid he’d vomit out things he shouldn’t say. His gaze diligently slipped away, seeking empty air.
“I’ll try to get retirement approval within this year. If there’s no need to deal with monsters, the possibility of going berserk won’t be a problem either, so Guide-nim’s situation will improve as well.”
“Must be nice to be able to think simply, Dowoon-ssi.”
Then Cha Haseong interjected quietly.
Yeo Dowoon frowned. Cha Haseong’s condition wasn’t normal.
Looking at his expression, he seemed to be furious, but he couldn’t clearly guess why he had become angry, which only doubled his frustration. Yeo Dowoon reflexively asked.
“…Then should I think in a twisted way?”
It wasn’t his intention, but it was a counter-question that followed like a counterattack. Yeo Dowoon, who turned his head sharply, quickly removed his hand. He wanted to wrap up the conversation with Cha Haseong at this point.
Arguments without gain or conclusion always gnawed at him bit by bit.
Cha Haseong smiled crookedly. His eyes came across colder than midwinter’s cold wind. But only his voice was gently warm, creating an unstable atmosphere.
“Right. Dowoon-ssi might not want to think in a twisted way.”
“……”
“Or maybe thinking itself is bothersome.”
Yeo Dowoon was quite surprised while pretending not to be, as if he had pulled out his inner thoughts. Cha Haseong sometimes had insight into people more mysteriously than a fortune teller.
“Espers’ way of thinking is obvious.”
Moreover, scathing. However, Yeo Dowoon didn’t repeatedly deny by saying it wasn’t true.
Unless you were a psychic-type Esper, thoughts and thinking were meaningless. You fought hand-to-hand combat according to your superior’s orders, and even if independent judgment was added, it would only add situations that would be a burden to the operation.
“That damn Esper, Esper……”
Therefore, it was daily life to roll around in dungeons and handle gates as if free will had been castrated, but he felt very wronged that his entire being was being evaluated solely by the single name ‘Esper.’
Yes. He was an Esper.
But it wasn’t as if even he had begged to be an Esper and was born as one.
If given the opportunity to reincarnate according to his own will, Yeo Dowoon would choose a life as an ordinary person without a moment’s hesitation. Perhaps that’s why he unconsciously asked crookedly.
“Will you tell me what Guides are like?”
Even if he killed his temper and laid low, there were old habits that popped out in trivial ways from time to time. He ruffled through his hair as if fed up. His head twisted diagonally.
Seeing the thick veins standing out on his neck, he seemed to be barely holding back his irritation. He spat out in a passionate tone.
“If I know what they’re like, it seems like it’ll be easier to please Guide-nim too. Give me a hint at least.”
He had no confidence in pondering and concluding things. This wasn’t simply because he was powerless, but closer to being dissatisfied because he lacked that talent.
“I’m stupid so I can’t make assumptions.”
“Ah, I see.”
But if he clearly presented what he wanted, he could deal with it accordingly and live serving him.
Every time Cha Haseong brought out meaningful words, Yeo Dowoon felt as if inflammation was forming in his chest.
When it seemed like progress was being made in their relationship, he’d distance himself one step, and when it seemed distant, he’d get one step closer again. He couldn’t decide at all whether he should follow or retreat further away.
Cha Haseong extended his long arms and deeply wrapped them around Yeo Dowoon’s waist. He whispered gently.
“It’s not like I’m smart enough to be pleasing Dowoon-ssi either.”
Espers and Guides were beings fundamentally designed to have different ways of thinking.
Through painstaking efforts, they could find a point of agreement, but they couldn’t truly understand and accept each other. That’s why Cha Haseong seemed to view his position and circumstances more pessimistically than anyone.
“It’s not like all smart people indulge Dowoon-ssi and put up with your unreasonable demands.”
With such a firm conclusion, a storm no less than his settled in Yeo Dowoon’s heart.
Who indulged whom?
If there was one person at the Esper base whom Yeo Dowoon paid attention to and considered the mood of, it was undoubtedly Cha Haseong without needing to search.
Yeo Dowoon’s condition was also swayed according to Cha Haseong’s condition. When his expression was bright, Yeo Dowoon would invariably brighten too, and when he looked dark, Yeo Dowoon would also wither away with worry.
It was truly a fucking terrible one-sided love. Though words piled up like a mountain, Yeo Dowoon thrust out advice first.
“You don’t have to put up with it in the future. Treat me as you please. Whatever Guide-nim does….”
“That’s not something Dowoon-ssi can decide.”
“……”
“When your berserk possibility is in that state, what do you want me to do? Do you think you won’t go berserk and can spend the rest of your life peacefully and safely?”
Cha Haseong asked, cutting off Yeo Dowoon’s words sharply. His gaze was overwhelming. Though his tone was relatively calm, fierce tension was concentrated in the arms that bound his waist like flypaper.
“As long as you, the Esper, exist.”
A dry kiss warmed Yeo Dowoon’s forehead. It was an affectionate gesture as always.
“I’m always subordinate to you.”
Cha Haseong then pressed his lips to Yeo Dowoon’s bridge of his nose. At the point before the kiss, he added calmly. Yeo Dowoon stared at him coldly.
“Even though you can’t not know, pretending otherwise and acting hypocritical, that’s what’s more disgusting to me.”
“……Guide-nim.”
“You seem to be floundering in the delusion that you’re an Esper who’s kind to Guides, but….”
“……”
“That looks more pathetic to me. Understand?”
In the end, it was a statement saying you’re no different from other Espers, so don’t put on airs.
To Cha Haseong’s criticism of him recited, Yeo Dowoon retorted in a chilly tone.
“If you’re expecting a situation where I try to strip your clothes first like other bastards.”
“……”
“I can do that for you anytime.”
In an instant, Cha Haseong’s collar was grabbed and his posture was flipped. Bang, his shoulder blade struck the wall hard.
When he grimaced faintly, Yeo Dowoon kissed him while prying open his lips as if biting. He bound the escaping tongue so it couldn’t move an inch and sucked it wetly.
Cha Haseong was pressed tight against Yeo Dowoon’s body, both arms restrained. Saliva flowed along the wide-open lips.
“……Hngh!”
When he twisted his face, Yeo Dowoon set his canines and chewed on his tongue. As the soft flesh was sharply gouged, the taste of blood naturally surged in his mouth.
So if you were to reevaluate who had been indulging whom, it could be said to be Yeo Dowoon.
He scrutinized Cha Haseong’s face thoroughly without even closing his eyes. He lifted his wrists, which were twisting around as if resisting, high and fixed them above his head.
Cha Haseong couldn’t even struggle and twist his arms. It was because the grip strength subduing him was excessive.
“Haah……”
The tongue that had been roughly ravaging the moist mucous membrane slowly withdrew from his mouth at some point.
Despite the kiss that pressed in enough to make breathing difficult, Cha Haseong managed to maintain his breathing. Though his chest heaved, he didn’t look pathetic.
Yeo Dowoon asked while biting his earlobe and nape like a gnawing beast.
“……Do I seem like an Esper now?”
The delicate skin quickly reddened and left bruises. Cha Haseong could realize how much he had been restraining his strength in front of him until now. The bitten skin still stung achingly.
Yeo Dowoon was, from the start, a being who subdued monsters, one who should rightfully be called inhuman.
Carelessly manipulating one human whose only ability was to stabilize them would be too easy as pie for him.
Cha Haseong smiled artificially. It looked like an AI imitating a human.
“Yes…, that’s right.”
He readily bowed his head again and repeated while messily rubbing Yeo Dowoon’s lower lip with his tongue.
“Keep working hard to act like an Esper from now on too.”
“……”
“That way I won’t be swayed by you like an idiot either.”
It was a sound that only made Yeo Dowoon, who had never once thought he was being swayed by him, feel bitter.
At the sentence that denounced all at once the passion and pure devotion he had poured out carefully for five years, Yeo Dowoon couldn’t bear the sadness and spat out.
“Guide-nim too, really….”
The cold war between the S-ranks that froze the Esper base originated from such a trivial trigger.
“You pull all kinds of shit.”
