He vaguely thought it would be okay. He acted cocky, saying he’d done his best, that Demeter had made a windfall.
If only he’d looked even once, he might have been able to stop it.
Yeo Dowoon continuously felt an ominousness stabbing his lungs. They said Demeter was disbanded.
Then… where had all the unregistered Espers he knew disappeared to?
“…Yes. I’m alone.”
-Good. If you’re going to cry, cry like that alone.
“……”
-Until hyung arrives. Got it?
Yeo Dowoon let out a faint laugh. He wasn’t crying. His eyes were even dry without a speck of moisture. But Kwon Jeonghoo emphasized again as if certain.
-Don’t show your crying face to other bastards.
“Underground dungeon… have you ever gone in?”
Perhaps because emotions were welling up, his fingers stung painfully. They said when you get excited, the possibility of rampage increases along with it—it was an inevitable phenomenon as he was chewing over the words ‘underground dungeon’ countless times.
-Why the underground dungeon?
If Demeter had disbanded because of the base, at least some of them should have met him again. The explanation that unregistered Espers of that scale collectively went into hiding or were serving sentences after trial didn’t make sense at all.
At least one person should have finished registration and reunited with him. At least one.
“Do you remember telling me that if I wanted to retire, I should go into the underground dungeon first?”
It didn’t make sense for everyone to disappear as if they’d evaporated somewhere.
“Either way, to achieve my wish, it seems I must go through the underground dungeon… so I just mentioned it. It doesn’t have much meaning.”
Yeo Dowoon was convinced he would encounter them in the underground dungeon.
Real chimera experiments and fake chimera experiments.
-What’s your wish? Retirement?
Coincidentally, among Demeter’s unregistered Espers, there were teenagers between the ages of 9 and 14. Although the guild members were generally older, there were quite a few who hit it off within that group and pledged to grow old together. In fact, most guilds grew their groups that way.
“That’s what it was originally, but I think it changed just now.”
A bitter smile spread across his lips.
Whether real chimera experiments or fake chimera experiments… if they opened the underground dungeon, wouldn’t they eventually face the truth? Rather than agonizing with a headache, it was better to confront it head-on.
Yeo Dowoon added bitterly.
“I think it has to change.”
It might seem absurd, but right now his wish was <liberation>.
***
A drizzling shower fell. It was a mist-like rain the weather service hadn’t predicted. Yeo Dowoon, who’d been sitting in a pavilion appreciating the sound of raindrops falling, lifted his bowed head at the cast shadow.
“Oh, Captain… You’re wearing a suit again today.”
The shadow was large and long, and sure enough it was Kwon Jeonghoo. He was holding a pitch-black umbrella with his white shirt rolled up. Yeo Dowoon giggled at how consistently he insisted only on achromatic colors.
“Actually, don’t you only keep suits in your closet?”
When he imagined Kwon Jeonghoo wearing a hoodie or jeans, his eyes curved gently. The hoodie color would be even more worth seeing if it were pink or yellow. That day, he’d probably be able to laugh his belly button off.
“I parked the car over there.”
However, Kwon Jeonghoo didn’t react to the low-level teasing. He just placed a drink can he’d brought on Yeo Dowoon’s thigh. Yeo Dowoon caught the can with good reflexes.
“Drink and let’s go.”
With a clack, he folded the umbrella and took a seat next to Yeo Dowoon. The scent of rain distinctly wafted from him.
Yeo Dowoon warmed his body while rolling the hot cocoa in his hands. Seeing that bitter cigarette smell was mixed in here and there, his mouth felt dry too. Making someone who was quitting smoking feel bad, he seemed to have enjoyed chain-smoking alone.
“They say to eat candy when you crave nicotine.”
Yeo Dowoon murmured while opening the drink lid.
“Cocoa is similarly sweet too, so I’ll drink it well.”
He didn’t really fancy sweet things, but to compete with his thirst for nicotine, there were times when intake was occasionally needed. Then Kwon Jeonghoo took out a lollipop from his pocket and tossed it.
“There’s candy too.”
Yeo Dowoon, who’d been gulping down cocoa, picked up the cola-flavored candy that appeared out of nowhere and asked.
“Did you buy this too?”
“You’d have to be pretty picky. I was going to give it if you said you didn’t want cocoa.”
He thought he had a fairly easygoing personality, but in Kwon Jeonghoo’s eyes it seemed to look the opposite. Yeo Dowoon threw out a perfunctory thanks and unwrapped the candy.
He was particularly severely craving cigarettes today, so he wanted to put anything in his mouth first. Sweetness rose up.
“It’s fine since it’s not strawberry flavor.”
When Yeo Dowoon’s cheeks puffed up round, Kwon Jeonghoo ruffled his hair as if praising him. Perhaps because he’d passed through the shower, moist dampness lingered on his palm. He threw out an easy question.
“Did you come here to see Yoon Minoh?”
Although it was a question with nothing complicated about it, Yeo Dowoon answered reluctantly as if facing a game stage with the highest difficulty level.
“Yes, well…”
“Good job. I was about to bring him anyway, but you’re fulfilling your senior role on your own.”
However, when unexpected praise came back, he felt unnecessarily embarrassed. Kwon Jeonghoo whispered slowly.
“From now on, if you fight with your pair, go to him first and extend your hand first, Dowoon. He’s a kid.”
“……”
“You were young once too so you know… it’s a time when everything is scary and everything is taken the wrong way.”
“Nice rhyme. Why don’t you become a rapper?”
“I don’t know why you’re so contrary when you’re old enough.”
Kwon Jeonghoo kneaded his shoulder firmly. Yeo Dowoon frowned with an “aah” at the brutal massage performed as if familiar. Kwon Jeonghoo, who pressed between his brows saying he’d get wrinkles, suddenly asked.
“You really didn’t cry?”
Over the phone he definitely thought he’d be crying until his face swelled up, but the Yeo Dowoon he actually faced had no sign of shedding a single tear, which was puzzling.
Yeo Dowoon shrugged and retorted.
“I have to have a reason to cry to cry.”
It was an odd way of speaking, but Kwon Jeonghoo noticed the crack that had sprouted within it.
“If you can’t cry because you have no reason to cry, tell me.”
His palm covered Yeo Dowoon’s nape. He rubbed as if sharing his warmth with the cold body.
“Don’t be scared.”
“What am I scared of again for you to say that? I’m fine so take your hand off.”
“Who’s been making your life difficult lately?”
At the incomprehensible affectionate question, Yeo Dowoon took out the candy he’d been rolling in his mouth. He felt like he’d get indigestion from the sweetness rushing in from all sides.
“Captain is making my life difficult.”
When he reproached with suppressed resentment, Kwon Jeonghoo struck back as if it were no big deal.
“I should be the exception.”
“Why?”
“You make my life difficult too. It’s tit for tat.”
Yeo Dowoon grumbled.
“I wouldn’t feel wronged if I’d actually done that.”
He always felt like he was the only one being attacked one-sidedly, but seeing him act slippery as if it were mutual made his blood boil.
Yeo Dowoon picked up the long umbrella Kwon Jeonghoo had put down in the pavilion. Rainwater was on it but he didn’t feel repulsed.
“More people are visiting than I thought… It’s fascinating.”
Shouldn’t he slowly get up? But he repeatedly had his gaze stolen by the surrounding scenery.
The scene of colorful umbrellas busily moving around in front of the hospital never got tiresome no matter how much he watched. He suddenly felt a ticklish feeling, thinking that Espers were all beings with families too.
Probably someone was someone’s child, and someone was someone’s parent. They’d spend time in hospital rooms asking about each other’s well-being and worrying about health. They’d probably gently hold hands too.
“What’s so fascinating about it?”
Kwon Jeonghoo answered without interest. It was a natural sentiment since Kwon Jeonghoo, unlike Yeo Dowoon, was a person with successful parents and siblings building their own careers from the start.
Yeo Dowoon muttered awkwardly while avoiding his eyes.
“Well, I don’t have any… family.”
He was deeply worried that he’d only ruined the peaceful atmosphere for no reason.
It just meant he was a one-person household, but he wondered what if he came across as wanting a nest called family.
Of course, he too had wanted family at one time. But lately there was no room to have such greed. When his own life was dry like an egg yolk, how could he resolve to start a family?
“Family…”
Kwon Jeonghoo kept his position without moving. He didn’t answer hastily, just rolled the two syllables in his mouth. Wheeee, a strong wind blew in. It carried the scent of spring drizzle.
“Would you like it if you had family too?”
Damn it. He knew this would happen.
Yeo Dowoon got goosebumps on his arms at his caring voice.
Absolutely not. What good would it do to have family?
Someone as irresponsible as him would clearly only hurt people if he had people to take care of. Even if they tried to take care of him, the situation wouldn’t change much.
“If I had them, I’d have them…”
Yeo Dowoon continued in a desolate tone.
“But I don’t want them badly enough to wish for them when I don’t have any. At least that’s how I feel right now.”
Right. At least right now it was absurd.
Let’s suppose he had children or parents.
If his mother and father, whose faces he couldn’t even remember, were living healthily, he would’ve been in a position where he couldn’t even tear monsters to death freely, let alone go to dungeons.
