“Isn’t it uncomfortable?”
At Wootae’s question, Dohyeong smiled awkwardly. Shaking his head from side to side, he only quietly shifted his gaze to the window.
Before he knew it, Haesung was leaning on Dohyeong. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, but Wootae couldn’t believe this scene.
“…He’s asleep, right?”
Dohyeong, reflected in the rearview mirror, glanced down at Haesung and then nodded.
“Jung Haesung is really Jung Haesung. This… No, can a person change like this?”
“……”
“Why aren’t you saying anything? Don’t tell me, you don’t tell me you’re worried about waking Jung Haesung!”
When Wootae’s voice rose a little, Dohyeong brought his index finger to his lips. At the sight of him slightly grimacing, Wootae clicked his tongue.
“You too. You’re something too.”
Kim Dohyeong and Jung Haesung were people placed in a category he couldn’t understand.
But what could he do? Even so, he was the one who had to understand. Even if not others, at least he had to understand Dohyeong.
Wootae, who had been letting out a deep sigh with his arm leaning on the window frame, cautiously opened his mouth.
“I’m worried.”
After the bluntly thrown words, silence flowed as expected. When he glanced at the rearview mirror, Dohyeong’s gaze was directed at him.
“I’m worried you’ll get hurt again. That you’re ultimately unable to throw away your lingering attachment to Jung Haesung right now. That you’re holding onto it tightly and later… later, you’ll throw it to the ground again and collapse.”
“I know. I understand. Why hyung is saying that, what you’re feeling too….”
“Hey, someone who knows—”
“That’s enough.”
At Dohyeong’s words that followed, Wootae looked at the rearview mirror again.
One corner of his heart ached at the sight of him smiling bitterly somehow.
“It’s okay, hyung.”
“That’s Kim Dohyeong’s trademark. Saying it’s okay.”
“Yeah. So it’s okay.”
Seeing him speak calmly made him more upset and his head dizzy, but.
Right, just leaving it alone for now is also a method if it’s a method. Because even if he tried to stop him, when he walked forward looking ahead, he was someone who didn’t look back.
Do whatever you want, even at the blunt words, Dohyeong was still smiling.
His gaze turned to Haesung, who was sleeping leaning on his shoulder.
If there’s a heart that won’t turn no matter what, there must also be a heart that won’t fold no matter what method.
Then it would also be a method to leave it unfolded and watch quietly, then push it quietly to a corner of the heart.
He wished time would flow just a little slower. He closes his eyes smoothly with a desperate wish.
***
While they had been driving for a while, Haesung suddenly opened his eyes wide and got up. He, who had been massaging Dohyeong’s shoulder that he had been leaning on the whole time, spoke in a voice still heavy with sleep.
“Ji manager-nim. Can we stop at a rest area?”
“Do you need to use the bathroom?”
Haesung nodded silently, and Dohyeong smiled soundlessly.
He was someone who had a very hard time waking up from sleep. The Haesung he knew was like that.
Although he looked fine on the outside, unless cold water touched his face, he couldn’t properly wake up from sleep.
Even now, he’s probably barely holding on and trying to come to his senses.
“Wasn’t it uncomfortable?”
“Yeah.”
“That can’t be. Hyung, you can’t sleep well in cars.”
“When I tried it once, it was doable.”
At the sight of Haesung chuckling, Dohyeong pressed his lower lip firmly.
Was he originally someone who smiled this well, but only he didn’t know? Has he been smiling more lately?
If it’s lately, then the person who made him like this must be just one person.
Thinking that way, one corner of his chest hurt. Without realizing it, he quickly turned his head to look out the window.
Even if the time spent with him was long, it seems he was insufficient in changing Haesung.
He let out his heavy heart in a sigh and unnecessarily closed his eyes. Ah, I’m sleepy now. The muttering voice was bitter.
Not long after driving like that, they arrived at the rest area.
Haesung and Dohyeong got out of the car wearing masks and even sunglasses.
“Dohyeong-ah.”
“Yes?”
“Go ahead.”
At the sudden words, Dohyeong was surprised and took a step, but Haesung had already quickly walked away and disappeared somewhere.
Even though it was early morning, people were bustling about. As he disappeared through the crowd, he couldn’t catch or find him.
“…He said he wanted to use the bathroom.”
Dohyeong, who had been muttering, snorted as if absurd.
“What, where did Jung Haesung go?”
Wootae, who had been following, asked, but Dohyeong only shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
“I don’t know. He told me to go ahead and then left.”
“What kind of selfish bastard is this….”
“Let’s go quickly. I need to use the bathroom.”
He thought it would be better to leave before Wootae got angry again. Dohyeong grabbed him and headed to the bathroom.
When he came out after finishing his business, Haesung was standing in front of him.
Holding baby potatoes in one hand and a tray with coffee in the other.
“Hold this.”
Haesung handed the baby potatoes and coffee to Dohyeong and moved his steps toward the bathroom. Before entering, he turned his body slightly to look at him.
“Wait for sure.”
Meaning absolutely don’t move. Dohyeong nodded, suppressing the laughter trying to escape.
“You go first, hyung. I’ll go with him.”
“Will you be okay?”
“What wouldn’t be okay?”
Wootae looked back and forth between Dohyeong and the bathroom worriedly, then nodded and walked toward where the car was.
No matter how much he thought about it, he was someone he couldn’t figure out.
Well, that was the same before and now. Dohyeong, who had been quietly looking down at the baby potatoes, chuckled.
‘I want to eat rest area baby potatoes.’
It was a time when the two were together just before breaking up with Haesung.
What entered Dohyeong’s eyes as he lay still was a program that was just being broadcast on TV. It was a bowl of baby potatoes that people were competing to buy there.
It was coverage about how that place was particularly delicious, but that wasn’t what was important.
‘You can just steam them and eat them.’
‘Because there’s a taste to buying and eating them at rest areas.’
He recalled Haesung, who had snorted at Dohyeong’s words.
He shook his head thinking there’s no way he remembered and bought it. He might have just wanted to eat it. Because Haesung also liked potatoes.
While waiting while thinking about this and that, someone tapped Dohyeong’s shoulder as he leaned against the wall.
“Let’s go.”
It was Haesung.
He only took the coffee in Dohyeong’s hand and thrust his other hand deep into his pocket.
At the sight of him walking ahead, flustered Dohyeong followed behind, looking back and forth between the baby potatoes and Haesung.
“Hyung, this—”
“You said you wanted to eat it.”
Haesung, who had stopped in place, slightly turned around to look at Dohyeong.
“…It’s a bit, past. From before.”
Adults said so. Even if you do ten things well, if you fail at one, all the things you did well are forgotten.
Even if you fail at ten things, if you do one well, they think you’ve grown.
Now was exactly that moment.
The moment of realizing anew that he remembered it.
The hatred and disappointment he had toward Haesung until now melting away smoothly.
It was really strange.
“Aren’t you eating?”
“No, I’ll eat. I’ll eat.”
Dohyeong firmly held the paper bowl containing the baby potatoes while suppressing the feeling that he might cry for no reason.
Haesung had already lowered his speed and was walking together with Dohyeong.
Dohyeong, who was about to pick up a potato to eat, glanced up at Haesung.
“But you didn’t forget.”
At those words, Haesung, who had been looking down at Dohyeong for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and looked ahead.
After seeming to think about something for a moment, he soon cleared his throat briefly with a hmm.
“…When we arrived, I remembered. What you said.”
At Haesung answering awkwardly, one corner of his chest began to pound.
It’s strange. To feel now the flutter he didn’t feel before or after marriage.
Even though everything is over between them now.
Even though they’re in a relationship so broken it can’t be put back together.
He barely pulled together the flutter and smiled faintly.
“Thank you, hyung.”
At those words, Haesung’s gaze returned. At his eyes seeming to ask what’s there to be thankful for, Dohyeong looked down at the potatoes in his hand.
“For remembering and buying it.”
“…What’s so special about that?”
“I like things like this better than expensive things.”
Because this was what he originally wanted from Haesung too.
Time to share conversations. The leisure to make eye contact and share the day. Even memories worthy of the name ‘us.’
The wishes that he thought were not so many and not difficult were being fulfilled only after everything had ended.
It was somehow bitter.
When he came to his senses, he was already inside the car. Wootae beamed at the cup of coffee Haesung handed him.
“Wow, Jung Haesung-ssi finally….”
“Finally?”
“That, finally… you seem awake!”
Hearing Wootae’s joke, Dohyeong smiled awkwardly.
He probably was going to say something about becoming human or not.
The car carrying the two people left the rest area and was running toward the place promised with Seonghyeok.
Since they stopped at the rest area, he sent a message saying to meet at the drowsiness shelter.
“It won’t take long. About… 20 minutes?”
At Wootae’s words, Haesung shook his head.
“Let’s go slowly.”
“What?”
“I’d like you to go slowly.”
“…We need to meet quickly so you can change clothes and arrive at the filming site.”
“Manager Do will adjust that much. So slowly. Let’s arrive as slowly as possible.”
It was a first. For someone who always moved briskly to say with his own mouth to go slowly.
Dohyeong looked at Haesung as if he couldn’t believe it, then popped a baby potato into his mouth.
It’s sweeter than any potato he’d eaten before. He didn’t know he’d have such a childish thought of wanting to keep it forever without eating it.
“Dohyeong-ah. Is it good? Give hyung just one.”
It was when Dohyeong was about to get up at the sight of Wootae speaking while glancing at the rearview mirror.
“No.”
Haesung stopped Dohyeong.
“What?”
“You eat them all.”
The flustered one wasn’t just Dohyeong. Wootae, who was driving, was also surprised and glancing at Haesung through the rearview mirror.
“No, eating just one—”
“I bought them for Dohyeong to eat. I’ll buy snacks from the shelter for Ji manager-nim.”
“Right now I’m going crazy because of that smell? I didn’t eat either.”
“It’s fine. You said there’s not much left.”
“You asked me to go slowly.”
“Yes. Please do that.”
What am I supposed to do? Wootae, who made a tearful face, looked at Dohyeong through the rearview mirror, but all that entered his eyes was Haesung’s large hand covering Dohyeong’s face.
This situation was just funny. Dohyeong popped a baby potato into his mouth and burst into silent laughter.
“Ah, I won’t eat it because it’s petty. I won’t eat it!”
Though he felt a bit sorry at Wootae’s voice grumbling as if sulking.
He decided to savor this moment.
Because this moment when everything he had so desired—the things, the situations, everything—aligned was nothing but happiness.
He wished time would flow just a little slower. Dohyeong’s wish was scattering helplessly on the road rushing past.
