Why is it always only me who ends up in awkward situations having to worry?
Dohyeong glanced at Yuchan and Hakyung, who were standing side by side on either side of him, each chattering away.
Come to think of it, I always feel like I’m stuck in the middle. It was like that when Yuchan and Haesung were having a battle of wills, and this time it’s Yuchan and Hakyung.
Only the people have changed, but getting sensitive and tired is all the same.
‘Should I just contact Wootae hyung?’
He’d rather go home. He even thought that this must be why Wootae told him to definitely contact him if he got tired.
“What should I buy? Sunbae, what does Haesung sunbae-nim like?”
Whenever Hakyung asked, Yuchan would snort.
“I don’t know why you’re asking Dohyeong that. I don’t know if it’s proper business ethics to talk about an ex-husband either.”
“But Dohyeong sunbae said it was okay. Why are you, Yuchan sunbae, deliberately adding on? And I never asked you to come along anyway.”
“I didn’t come to see you either, Im Hakyung-ssi. I came to see Dohyeong.”
His head was pounding. Why does everyone become so childish whenever I get stuck in the middle like this?
He even thought it might be better to just run away home.
As they circled the men’s suit corner on the 4th floor for a while, a necktie happened to catch his eye. An elegant pattern drawn on a navy blue base. He thought it would be good to wear it during public schedules.
“That necktie is pretty. Right?”
It seemed Hakyung had also spotted the necktie.
Dohyeong nodded awkwardly with a smile. It seems people’s taste in things is all the same after all.
“That’s right. Ah… he likes things like that too.”
“Really? Well, since Haesung sunbae-nim is a cool tone, something like that would suit him better. Then I can get recommendations based on that necktie.”
Hakyung entered the store excitedly, and Dohyeong stopped in place, quietly watching his retreating figure.
Was I like that once too? Recalling himself wandering through department stores wanting to buy gifts for Haesung, he ended up chuckling.
“Is it funny?”
When Yuchan approached and casually asked, Dohyeong shrugged his shoulders.
“Well. I’m not sure. What about you?”
“I’m not laughing.”
“Then I’m not laughing either.”
“I’m not joking right now.”
“Yeah. Me neither. If you’re not laughing but only I’m laughing, that would be strange. It’s not like I’m teasing you.”
Ha, Yuchan, who let out a long sigh, looked at Dohyeong with his back to the store.
“Do you not know, or are you pretending not to know? That guy, Im Hakyung is trying to mess with you.”
“The super popular top star’s choice of words is too much. Saying he’s messing with me.”
“No, what kind of crazy bastard says, ‘I’m going to pick out a gift for your ex-husband, so would you please come with me?’ Huh? Oh right. He does. That crazy bastard right there.”
“Yuchan-ah.”
“If he wants to get along well with Jung Haesung, he shouldn’t reach out to you. Isn’t that right?”
It wasn’t wrong but.
Dohyeong couldn’t find anything to answer. What should he say? He thought about it for a while, but it’s not like there was an appropriate answer that came to mind either.
“Right. To put it bluntly, if you’d only dated Jung Haesung, it wouldn’t be strange.”
“…Wasn’t it dating?”
It was words he threw out without thinking. Yuchan was narrowing his brows and looking down at Dohyeong as if asking what he was talking about.
“We didn’t even imprint. That person is an alpha. I’m an omega. We could have fully bonded but….”
As he spoke, somehow the end of his throat stung. He tried to soothe it by barely breathing in, but it wouldn’t settle.
“Hyung kept refusing. Saying it wasn’t time yet.”
“Dohyeong-ah. But still, this—”
“It was public dating. Public dating disguised as marriage. If you think about it carefully, it might have been a shield.”
I shouldn’t have brought this up.
This is why you shouldn’t think and speak emotionally.
Whether positive or negative, Dohyeong constantly thinking about Haesung wasn’t a good phenomenon. Even if he couldn’t cleanly erase him from his mind, he shouldn’t think of him so there would be room for someone else to slip in.
It was something he shouldn’t have made him ruminate on. He misjudged.
“…Well, if we say it was a relationship of public dating.”
Dohyeong took a big breath and unnecessarily shrugged his shoulders. Looking up at Yuchan with a smile as if relieved, but his eyes showed he couldn’t do the same.
“This isn’t strange either. He was just, an ex-lover.”
“…Does that make sense?”
“Then, if it’s not words, what would it be?”
Dohyeong spoke brazenly and thrust his hands deep into his pockets. Walking close to the show window and looking at the displayed products for a while, Hakyung walked out of the store.
“Thank you. I think I bought something decent thanks to you, sunbae.”
“Really? That’s a relief.”
“Ah, and this is… yours, sunbae. Take a look.”
Hakyung rummaged through one of the two shopping bags he was carrying. Then he took out an ivory-colored necktie and held it below Dohyeong’s neck.
Hakyung, who had been tilting his head this way and that while looking, smiled brightly.
“It matches. I thought it would suit you well.”
At that moment, he felt someone’s gaze watching them. Flustered, Dohyeong quickly turned around, but there was no one.
“What’s wrong?”
Yuchan approached and slightly pushed Hakyung aside as he asked.
“No, someone….”
“Someone?”
“It felt like they were staring.”
At those words, Yuchan looked up in surprise.
“Wait here.”
Yuchan glared once at Hakyung standing in front of Dohyeong, then walked quickly toward the direction where he said he felt the gaze.
Hakyung and Dohyeong, who had been quietly watching Yuchan’s retreating figure, made eye contact.
“Sunbae is really… unnecessarily sensitive.”
Hakyung shrugged his shoulders with a meaningful comment and a smile.
“What do you—”
“No, just saying.”
He couldn’t understand the meaning, but he could tell this wasn’t a positive sign.
He needed to stop Yuchan. Before unnecessary talk arose, thinking it would be right to bring him over here, he took out his phone.
Hakyung grabbed his wrist and pulled it toward himself. Bringing his lips close to his ear, he wrapped his other hand around his waist as if embracing him.
“How nice would it be if we help each other out. Dohyeong sunbae.”
In an instant, goosebumps rose all over his body. Flustered, Dohyeong pushed him away forcefully and stepped back, biting his lips.
Somehow, he had a bad feeling.
***
It was good up until eating and watching the movie.
Everything was as he had planned. But only after coming outside did Haesung keenly feel that he had misjudged something.
‘Hyung, this is a movie I like. Want to watch it together?’
A few years ago, Dohyeong had brought and offered him a movie ticket.
Even without that, all the work coming to me was romance. I wondered if I had to watch movies like that too.
‘How about going to see it with your manager? Didn’t he say he’s getting married this time?’
It seemed like content that would be more necessary for someone about to get married.
Meeting someone like fate, having a burning love, then running into adversity. Eventually overcoming hardships to succeed in marriage, a common love story.
However, because it was a story based on true events, it was a movie that quickly made it to the box office. He remembered hearing several times that it was touching.
What was Dohyeong’s expression like then? He couldn’t remember, but he was certain that he had really wanted to see this movie.
Plus, the choice of movie theater was also wrong.
‘Here, they say there aren’t many people. I’d like to come on a date with hyung later.’
It was probably something he said by squeezing out courage.
Because it was something he said while pointing at a movie theater he saw while passing by in the car.
At that time, it was also Dohyeong who first suggested taking this road.
‘…Was it for those words?’
The words that he wanted to go see a movie together.
Once again, he blamed himself. He had ignored the signals Dohyeong sent several times.
The signal that he wanted to be together, the signal that he wanted to build memories and grow a bond. And even the signal that I was the only one who wanted to be together in everything.
How foolish. That he realizes and feels these things only after everything has passed.
What was even more confusing was that it wasn’t simply that he regretted his actions toward Dohyeong.
‘Why didn’t I… why, that gaze.’
Properly understand it?
It was regret stemming from that. If he had realized it a little earlier, if he had grasped the hand that reached out even a little faster.
Wouldn’t things be different now? Regret that arrives at that conclusion.
“Stop doing foolish things.”
Haesung, who laughed emptily alone, let out a deep sigh.
And he agonizes. Whether to reveal the greed stemming from regret. Or to hide it.
To hide it like this, he didn’t have the courage to live ruminating on regret.
To reveal it, he didn’t like that either because it felt like he would be burdening Dohyeong.
After agonizing for a while, what Haesung chose was to log into his SNS account that he had left dormant for a long time.
“…I’m going to leave the choice to you again.”
How pathetic. That I’m trying to shake Dohyeong by making my feelings known even like this.
That I’m hoping for some kind of gesture after Dohyeong notices my state too.
I know it’s selfish, but I didn’t want to move rashly.
Haesung uploaded everything to SNS one by one, from the restaurant he stopped by for lunch to the movie ticket. Normally, he would have had to get it reviewed by Seonghyeok first.
But today, even that time felt precious.
★
Delicious as always
It was touching
It’s the thing he hates most in the world. Uploading photos to SNS and loading them with his emotions that he couldn’t shed.
But life is ironic. He feels that this kind of action somewhat relieves his regret and frustration.
“…Dohyeong-ah.”
Haesung, who muttered quietly, leaned his head against the headrest of the driver’s seat. When he closed his eyes, the noise of the underground parking lot pierced into his ears.
“If I say I regret it, what will you say?”
What returned to the words thrown out was only faint noise and the silence lingering in the car.
“If I say I was wrong….”
Just as he couldn’t continue his words, he heard Dohyeong’s voice giggling and laughing.
No, he felt that Dohyeong. When he turned to the side, Dohyeong, who was stuck in his mind, was sitting in the passenger seat once again.
‘Hyung seems like he has no worries, but you really think about a lot.’
What did I say then? I coldly brushed it off saying he saw it wrong.
“Right. Strangely… it was like that. You were right.”
‘How long have I been watching hyung?’
He smiled without realizing it. Right, that’s how it was. He muttered and nodded.
‘When you really don’t know, try going with what your heart tells you.’
At the words that followed, he raised his head again. Looking at Dohyeong’s figure fading away, he reached out his hand.
‘If you do that, you’ll see the answer. If you don’t act, you won’t face the end of your thoughts. Whatever the result may be.’
But Dohyeong left those last words and disappeared smoothly.
Dohyeong-ah, Haesung’s voice, which had been muttering quietly, was sinking low.
