To him, he might be someone met after 10 years, but to him, he was a far too intimate person.
“I’m sorry.”
“Are you apologizing knowing what you did?”
“Whatever it was. It wouldn’t have been something Esper Min liked. The situation just now too. You clearly expressed your wish to avoid getting personally entangled, but things turned out this way.”
He looked at Jaehwi’s solid, warm body and that handsome face, and traced his face with his fingertips. On top of that, he’d kissed him without knowing. Really, until he kissed him, Raon was in a state where he couldn’t distinguish between dream and reality, before and after regression.
Before he knew it, his embrace had become familiar to him, and the kisses they’d shared until his lips swelled and the powerful sensations that had flowed through his entire body remained as if imprinted on his head and body.
It was fortunate that Jaehwi had been sleeping, but if he’d woken up at that moment, he didn’t even want to imagine that situation. Unable to face Jaehwi directly, Raon stroked his nape with his hand.
“Do you have someone you like?”
Raon, who had thought he couldn’t look at him out of embarrassment but had raised his head following the presence, couldn’t even move his pupils at the words casually tossed out.
“It seemed like you were mistaking me for someone.”
Jaehwi, who left words that dropped Raon’s heart to hell, disappeared into the guest room. Looking at the space where he’d disappeared, Raon swallowed the saliva pooled in his mouth. What did I do? What on earth happened last night?
The wet clothes must have been changed by Jaehwi. What did he say to him? Did he suddenly ask to be held? Did he push his lips forward? Or… any words related to regression?
“Why are you making such a serious expression? I said nothing much happened.”
“I know I’m not qualified to say this, but honestly, I don’t remember last night at all. Up to enjoying the hot spring in the dungeon is all I remember. So unless Esper Min tells me exactly, I can’t give a clear answer to anything.”
“You cried. While looking at me.”
He was so out of it he didn’t even know what Jaehwi had brought was clothes. And he hadn’t handed those clothes to him but placed them on the living room table. He could clearly feel his discomfort with letting him into his personal space.
“…Didn’t you say earlier that I had a fever?”
“I’ll apologize for that. I should have stripped you right after coming out of the dungeon, or resolved the wet clothes by some method. I didn’t expect you’d get sick from being like that for about 30 minutes. I got fever reducer from the hotel and gave it to Team Leader Kang. The fever went down around dawn.”
Raon touched the clothes placed on the table while searching for appropriate words. As expected, they were his clothes, large on him. It would be stranger if there were clothes that fit him here. Though they seemed like outerwear rather than indoor clothes, whatever he wore would obviously look like wearing someone else’s clothes.
“You asked me to hold you until you fell asleep.”
“…I should apologize properly. When you could just dismiss it as delirious talk from someone with a fever. I should contact Jay and ask him to bring my clothes here, so I’ll impose a bit more until then. And did you see my car?”
All he could do was apologize. What a nuisance.
It was yesterday afternoon that he’d hugged him alone saying he was letting go of little Jaehwi, but at night he whined to be held. But wasn’t holding him like that also a problem?
“If it’s the white jeep in front of the dungeon, I left it right there. I came back in my car.”
Raon sent the necessary items by message instead of calling Jay.
“It seems like it’ll take time until the bodyguard arrives, would you like coffee?”
“I’ll properly treat you or something next time for the debt from yesterday and today. You can request anything if you need it.”
“Not treating me. I have a few things I’m curious about, so just answer those.”
Raon, who ended up sitting across from Jaehwi at the wide table drinking coffee, shook his head slightly as this situation was both funny and absurd. Since neither of them opened their mouth first, a strange standoff continued, and only after drinking the warm freshly brewed coffee did his turbulent feelings calm down. And only then could he think of strange things he hadn’t thought of.
“Why were you passing by that place at that time, and why did you stop by a low-grade dungeon that would naturally dissipate?”
It was Raon who broke the silence.
“I’m looking at quiet detached houses in the suburbs. Either way it’s noisy the same, but natural sounds are less tiring than artificial sounds. Fewer human sounds too. I was on my way to a recommended place. I happened to see the dungeon, and as Team Leader said, it’s a low-grade dungeon that would naturally dissipate. But there was one car without NCSC or a center mark. It wouldn’t be good if dungeon thieves ran wild in MK Center’s area. I went in to check.”
Raon, who was about to say why he entered the dungeon without permission, shut his mouth before his logic.
“You should have woken me.”
“You’re the one who kept sleeping without waking even when woken, Team Leader.”
“Did you wake me properly?”
His personality of not lying even if he wouldn’t answer remained the same. Raon, who had been staring at Jaehwi drinking coffee with his mouth firmly shut, turned his gaze outside the window.
“Why did Team Leader Kang go to the dungeon alone?”
“…A hobby.”
Since there was no returning answer, he glanced at Jaehwi, but Raon quickly turned his gaze back outside the window.
“Going around low-grade dungeons alone is a hobby?”
“Since the work is what it is, it’s better to know even a little about dungeons than to be ignorant.”
“You go alone to dungeons where variables always lurk, even if they’re E or F grade?”
“Whether I go around lower dungeons alone or upper dungeons or enjoy hot spring baths, it’s all my personal business, and your interest seems excessive. Whether I go around alone or take an Esper or form a team, that’s also my business.”
The weather was just so-so. There was no brilliantly clear sky without a single cloud or dazzlingly felt sunlight. There were moderate clouds, and the sunlight was murky as if the air quality wasn’t good.
“Which Esper?”
At the firm words that stuck precisely in his ear, Raon, who looked at Jaehwi, finally recognized that he’d spoken to him informally and laughed quietly. He was like the old Jaehwi. That voice and that way of speaking that didn’t hide his anger at him with an expression full of dissatisfaction.
Since he was the same person, it was natural to show similar aspects in the same situation. But right now, he was looking for the person from before in the same person.
“…You’re not thinking of not going to dungeons?”
Ah, what a shame. At Jaehwi’s stiff tone returning to a cold expression, Raon held coffee in his mouth. What do you mean not go—he was thinking he should go more challengingly. He had to understand the variables of dungeons that changed moment by moment and face monsters to develop himself.
The various exercise equipment in the house basement had limits for training. Grade aside, nothing helped as much as abundant field experience. It was certain he’d fallen asleep unknowingly as accumulated fatigue melted away while soaking his body in the warm pond water.
If Jaehwi hadn’t come, he might never have woken up or been trapped in the dungeon. Among the many thoughts he’d had while entering the dungeon, falling asleep while taking a hot spring bath wasn’t one of them. The incident that happened yesterday was a variable itself.
It would be okay to accompany about one A-grade Esper who was tight-lipped and trustworthy. For high-grade dungeons, an Esper-Guide couple who’d even formed a bond would be good.
“Team Leader Kang.”
Raon, who had been organizing his thoughts alone while drinking coffee, raised his head and responded to the voice calling him. Jaehwi with a stiff expression was looking at him. Though he looked cool with that stiff expression, Jaehwi was definitely pretty when he smiled. Disheveled hair from waking up and comfortable indoor clothes. Though he held the same coffee cup as the one given to him, that cup looked small on him.
They say you only realize something’s precious after losing it, and he was exactly in that state. He should have treated him well when he had him—come to think of it, even on that night when they mixed bodies, he hadn’t spoken honestly to Jaehwi. Unlike himself, it was Jaehwi who had continuously listed embarrassing words saying he liked him, wanted to be together, asking how he felt, taking care of his condition.
All he’d said to him were words like ‘It’s hard. Stop. I don’t like it. It hurts.’ He should have said he liked him too. Should have told him it felt good too. That his embrace was warm. Words that were embarrassing just to think about. Such words he could no longer bring up in the future.
“Esper Min. You’re really handsome.”
Since his expression immediately crumpled, Raon laughed quite loudly. Well, it would be out of the blue. He might think he was crazy too. Would he seem like a pervert saying such things less than 24 hours after saying he wouldn’t get clingy anymore?
“You were really pretty when you were young too. Now that you’ve grown, your looks have improved even more. Even more.”
When he added another comment, Jaehwi turned his head sharply to the side.
