“This could be used as a movie filming location.”
With both feet submerged in water up to his calves, he splashed around. There were no sounds of wind, birds, or even insects—only the splashing sounds he made—but it didn’t feel particularly strange. Rather, the sound of water trickling gently made his heart feel at ease.
Drowsy and comfortable. He didn’t just want to dip his feet—he wanted to submerge his entire body…
But he hadn’t brought spare clothes for that. He was alone anyway, so should he strip naked and go in? According to the schedule, the dungeon confirmation team would only come to check if it had properly dissipated after this dungeon disappeared.
If someone entered the dungeon, an alarm would go off on his tablet. With his slow pace, it had taken well over 30 minutes to get here, so unless it was an Esper with special teleportation abilities, it would take some time for them to get here.
In the meantime, he could quickly grab his clothes and put them on… Should he take them off? Or not?
Raon, caught between reason and instinct, chose to move rather than agonize. He slowly stood up from his spot.
“Oh my. They got wet?”
Sitting on a rock with feet dipped versus standing up inside the pond. Between the two, naturally going deeper was standing up inside the pond. But Raon’s face, muttering as if just realizing this obvious fact, wore a small smile rather than surprise.
“What should I do about this.”
Though only the hem of his rolled-up pants was slightly wet, Raon, who played well even alone, muttered “I should take them off before they get wetter” and tried to exit the pond. Raon’s body, who had been planning to take off his clothes, come back in, and enjoy a half-bath, tilted to one side.
Before he could say anything in bewilderment or flail his arms, Raon, who plopped straight into the pond water, sat in the shallow pond and laughed loudly. Now there was no reason to undress either. The already soaked clothes. There was no difference between enjoying it clothed or naked.
Slowly moving to submerge himself up to his shoulders, Raon leaned his upper body comfortably against a stone. When he stayed still without moving, only small water sounds that seemed about to stop but didn’t filled the space.
Blinking slowly, he looked at the surrounding trees and observed the nameless grasses. What he’d thought was lush grass turned out to include several plants blooming with delicately colored flowers. Though the painkillers had lessened the pain, he slowly massaged his body that creaked with every movement.
Loosening his calves and gripping his thighs tightly with both hands, warmth and drowsiness spread throughout his body. Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember when he’d properly rested. After meeting Jaehwi at the dungeon outbreak site, everything—the contract with him, guiding, work, even the subtle emotional changes with Jaehwi—had happened like a storm.
Though he’d continuously thought, agonized, and tried to find the best answer, looking back, he’d been rushed as if chased by something. After regressing, he’d rested even less. Exercising morning and evening too—he’d been pushing himself to the limit.
He hadn’t sorted out his one-sided feelings toward Jaehwi, nor had he maturely led the restarted relationship. Jaehwi, who remained calm and composed in that place, seemed more mature than himself.
There was no whiner like this whiner.
At the surging shame, Raon scooped water with both hands and washed his face. He’d decided to maturely become just a team leader and Esper in a professional relationship, but lingering attachment was already flooding in.
He wanted to see that brightly smiling face, missed that large, broad embrace, and wanted to hear him clinging and whining to him. That cute expression when he asked to cover his ears. That aegyo-filled voice when he wheedled to sleep together—he couldn’t hear those anymore.
Even if they rebuilt their relationship, could they have that kind of relationship?
Objectively speaking, the feelings Jaehwi currently had toward him were close to negative, not even zero. He had no confidence in when he could pull that up to being close, and further, going beyond liking to reach love.
Thinking coldly, there was nothing to put forward.
Being young? Having outstanding looks? Money… Even if he had more right now, the money Jaehwi would earn as an active Esper within a few years would be far greater. And it wasn’t like his personality was good either.
Yaaawn-.
Raon, who had been holding and kneading his hands, massaging his forearms, and enjoying the warm water, couldn’t resist the sleepiness that surged beyond drowsiness and yawned loudly.
Still, he should treat him well. Where else could he find someone who didn’t hate him terribly?
Rather than blocking him from going to all dungeons under the pretext of protecting him unconditionally, he should attach plenty of teams to send him to profitable dungeons. Though NCSC said they didn’t know when they’d call, he could send him on a center-level trip for a short 2-3 days or 3-4 days.
Rather than doing everything for him, wouldn’t it be okay to create situations where he could do things himself and help him mature and stand on his own? Not trying to control and shake him as he pleased anymore, but letting go… He should let go… Right. Letting go…
The strength drained smoothly from Raon’s heavy eyelids that had been closing hazily. His drowsily lowered eyelids fluttered, but they didn’t open again. Instead, comfortable breathing permeated the space filled only with small water sounds.
* * *
Having suffered the same pain for nearly 15 years, it seemed like he’d get used to it, but pressing his temples with his hand against the headache that never became familiar and only increased his patience, Jaehwi stopped in front of the elevator. Rather than being in a quiet place, training to the limit or rolling around in dungeons was a quick way to forget the pain.
Training like crazy, receiving radiative guiding in the guiding room, and training again.
It seemed more comfortable when he was at NCSC. There, he wasn’t even given time to think. Training, dungeons, various tests, chewing on stabilizers, and sleep like fainting that didn’t seem like proper sleep—that was all.
Only one thing helped him endure that time.
The hope that if he just filled the promised period at NCSC, wouldn’t he be able to find that person?
What a world without pain was like, how warm another’s body temperature was. And the one person who had shown him the peace that brought—he was the pillar that helped Jaehwi endure his difficult days.
He’d tried to find him after finishing his last mission, but before he could find him, that person found him first. Losing that person who had come to him despite the danger was something that couldn’t and shouldn’t happen.
Though he sometimes found it bothersome, since he didn’t push him away either, he whined to him like a child and craved love. Even without guiding mixed in, even just brushing against him, peace would come. He didn’t want to know why such things happened or what changes it caused in him and himself.
He enjoyed the moment when his cold hands covered his ears. His touching his head and patting his shoulders also seemed to contain affection.
It was he himself who had coveted his heart when he sighed and hesitated but still tried to hold and put him to sleep. It would have been nice if he’d been as pure as 10 years ago, but he couldn’t be like that. He’d gone into heat at his gentle touch and his possessiveness boiled at the touch that pushed him away.
And finally, he’d crossed that line.
At first, he’d hesitated, not knowing his heart clearly. But what he felt while watching Raon, who fully embraced him and cried and laughed in his arms, was fulfillment. That he had become completely his. Wholly embracing him, kissing him, the touch caressing his face. Jaehwi had poured out his everything to him countless times.
If not for NCSC’s contact, he wouldn’t have been able to let Raon go for days. At the continuous contact, he had no choice but to release Raon, who had fallen asleep as if fainting, completely exhausted. He had so much to talk about with Raon after cleaning up the site and returning.
He had to dream of a future together and honestly reveal the compatibility story that fit him perfectly regardless of grade. He had to make him understand that it wasn’t something like guiding that bound Espers and Guides together, but that just his existence by his side improved his condition.
To do that, he’d need Hyukjin’s help, but since quick-witted Hyukjin already knew to some extent, it was obvious things would go well as planned.
In the dungeon… If only he hadn’t seen the end.
They said the grade had suddenly changed, and what Jaehwi faced at the end was the end itself.
There was no problem up to sending team members entranced by illusions showing the future outside the dungeon. There was no reason to fall for such illusions. But he had opened Pandora’s box.
He’d wanted to see his and Raon’s future. That future he dreamed of.
A future filled with such small happiness—being together, laughing together, traveling as they’d always whispered about since childhood, making love while watching the aurora.
But the future Jaehwi faced was utterly horrific.
Not once, but many times. He’d input countless hypotheses, but all their ends led directly to one scene.
His own rampage and Raon caught up in it, covered in blood. Even though his whole body was covered in blood, Raon had tried to approach him. And while watching Raon, who ultimately couldn’t reach him, collapse, he couldn’t embrace him.
