“So, so you’re saying Esper Nam Ihyeon likes me?”
When I asked, Kim Haewon answered with an expression that couldn’t hide his frustration.
“How could you not know when it was so obvious?”
“That was just about how he treats people he’s close to, you know? There was nothing like that at all. Aren’t you misunderstanding something?”
“He told me directly.”
“You two don’t get along, so he was probably trying to provoke you!”
“Who provokes someone like that?”
Kim Haewon acted like someone whose tantrum button had been pressed. He looked like someone who had been properly provoked. I scratched the corner of my mouth and continued.
“A person who won’t budge at most things has a cleanliness obsession when it comes to this area. How could Esper Nam Ihyeon, who’s so quick-witted, not know that?”
“What do you mean by ‘this area’?”
“The morality of a pair guide. You’ve bitched at me about that several times too.”
I shook my head with conviction as if pitying him for misunderstanding Nam Ihyeon. I didn’t forget to click my tongue and wear a sympathetic expression.
“What are you going to do if you get provoked by every little thing like that? If you just act indifferent, he’ll probably stop on his own. That person is like an elementary schooler who keeps teasing when the reaction is fun. You saw it earlier. Acting childishly over a single slip of the tongue.”
I said that, but the truth was my heart had sunk. If Nam Ihyeon came to like me, it would become hard to just pass over the descriptions in that novel. But the problem was that the protagonist wasn’t Nam Ihyeon. The descriptions of Kim Haewon would become increasingly explicit, and I would have to agonize alone again over the difference from reality. It would be nice if I could have no reaction at all, but being human, I became immersed.
‘If by any chance I end up misunderstanding someday, I might do something dog-embarrassing to Kim Haewon. Like screaming at the top of my lungs asking if he likes me like last time…….’
That kind of thing should never happen again. As I shook my head while trembling, Kim Haewon continued with a still serious expression.
“Do I look like such a fool that I can’t distinguish that?”
“Ah. Why are you talking like that again? Who said Esper Kim Haewon is a fool? We’re just friends. You said you heard us talking earlier.”
“That’s exactly why I’m saying this.”
“Why are you being like this, really. Don’t obsess over it.”
I lightly tapped his arm as if to say stop joking around. However, Kim Haewon still stood in a rigid posture and glared at me.
“Why can’t it be?”
“Why should it be?”
“Isn’t it natural?”
“What’s natural?”
“Guide Park Garam is…….”
“I’m what?”
“Even if you date, shouldn’t you date me?”
“What?”
I jumped up from my seat in surprise. Although Kim Haewon had hesitated while speaking, the words he spat out were quite firm. D-date……? You and me? I pointed alternately at Kim Haewon and myself with my finger. Kim Haewon asked back with quite a shameless expression.
“Isn’t it natural?”
“Did you grow up in Cheonghakdong or something? Why are you so conservative? No, a pair relationship is just business.”
“It’s also that official of a relationship.”
I didn’t know where to start teaching this old-fashioned guy, and things looked bleak. I sat down while shaking my head.
“Esper Kim Haewon insisting on this is no different from immature parents teasing kindergarteners that they have to get married if they hold hands.”
“I didn’t mention marriage.”
“Ah, who said they want to marry Esper Kim Haewon? That’s not the point—dating isn’t something you do tick-tock like that.”
I gulped down water in frustration. Kim Haewon just looked at me. No, what was I supposed to do when he looked at me with such serious eyes? I avoided his gaze. Kim Haewon was SS-class handsome in appearance too, so his gaze alone had an aspect that made people slightly intimidated.
It was a gaze that made you think all sorts of things even though he was just looking. Even though he had no particular thoughts, it had the power to make people misunderstand because it was slightly different from ordinary coolness.
After we became a bit closer, I had been receiving this gaze frequently. Of course, I was happy that he felt somewhat comfortable with me, but since he didn’t look at others that way, I felt both proud and simultaneously detected a sense of crisis.
In case I misunderstood this emotion.
But if he kept openly saying things that could be misunderstood like this, only I would suffer. When he didn’t even like me. I continued grumbling inwardly.
“Esper Kim Haewon must have dated before too, right? You should date someone you like. You said you don’t even like me.”
“I said I don’t like you yet.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“I’m in the process of verification.”
“What, am I some kind of object?”
“I’ve never thought of you as an object. I’m just verifying because the probability is increasing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I said it because I genuinely couldn’t understand. Kim Haewon’s words were difficult to interpret. I couldn’t figure out what he meant at all. He didn’t lie, but because his way of thinking was unique, it was difficult to immediately grasp what intention he was speaking with.
“I may be liking Guide Park Garam. I’m saying that probability is increasing. When I become more certain than now, I’ll tell you then.”
“Huh?”
“That I like you.”
“Wait. No, wait!”
I waved both hands to stop the conversation. It was an absurd story. But Kim Haewon firmly grasped both my arms and said.
“That’s why I’m telling you not to do that in front of me.”
“You like me? Esper Kim Haewon does?”
“Is that not allowed?”
“It would be, right? But, but.”
“…….”
“Why?”
There was no reason for him to like me. The timing of the confession was strange too. Why would he confess in the middle of talking about dicks with Nam Ihyeon of all times? It was strange that he came to confess because of dick talk, and moreover, it wasn’t that he liked me but that he was ‘in the process of verification’ of whether he liked me, which was also off-putting.
‘Not romantic at all.’
Shouldn’t the emotion of a person liking another person be more heart-fluttering and exciting? Right now Kim Haewon’s expression was bland. As if I just had to accept it since he had decided so. How could that be?
I continued once more, strongly conveying my opinion that I couldn’t believe it.
“What Esper Kim Haewon is saying right now is not logical at all. I understand that you don’t like me being close with Esper Nam Ihyeon. But I don’t think you’d make up such an absurd story. Even you must think your words don’t match up.”
“What doesn’t match?”
“Why would Esper Kim Haewon suddenly like me?”
He couldn’t properly answer the question of why. I asked boldly, and Kim Haewon quietly looked at me. His eyes had a talent for making a person’s heart flutter. Looking at him quietly felt strange. It was like staring at deep seawater for a long time.
I thought this was my chance and pushed his hand away. Kim Haewon obediently released my wrist. When I forcibly avoided his gaze, I felt a bit less strange.
“I don’t know.”
“I swear. Look at this. You don’t even know why you like…….”
“That’s my final verification point.”
I gulped. It was because I was nervous. The final verification point meant that everything except that had been verified, right? I blinked and continued. Somehow trying to draw out that it was a mistaken judgment.
“That’s probably a misunderstanding created by contact from guiding…….”
“It’s not because you’re my pair guide. Even if Guide Park Garam becomes unable to guide me, even if you become C-class again, my feelings won’t change.”
Kim Haewon said firmly. As if he knew everything I was thinking. Without needing to make excuses, I really felt like my thoughts had been read. It was as if Kim Haewon had intercepted everything I was going to say next. Only confusion remained. In the awkward silence, I muttered.
“I, I don’t understand why that would be so.”
“Then Guide Park Garam should verify it too.”
“Verify what and how?”
“Why I shouldn’t like Guide Park Garam.”
“…….”
“After erasing all those reasons.”
“…….”
“Couldn’t we date then? Not as pair guide, but in a different relationship.”
Kim Haewon spoke as if proposing a new project. But what he was proposing was dating. I shook my head vigorously and said.
“I don’t want to receive a confession with that kind of attitude.”
“If you tell me specifically, I’ll change it that way.”
“It’s not something I can tell you specifically. Something…….”
“What?”
“……It’s not romantic at all.”
Kim Haewon slightly frowned and then relaxed. Then he seemed lost in thought for a moment before taking a step closer to me.
“What! Why!”
I immediately raised my guard and took a defensive stance.
“That posture doesn’t seem romantic either. Who’s going to eat you up?”
“Eat me up? I, I wasn’t thinking that, you know?”
I answered while hesitantly lowering my hands. Then Kim Haewon took another step closer just like that. I stepped back as if almost pressing against the window behind me.
“Wh-why are you doing this?”
“What does Guide Park Garam think is romantic?”
“I-I don’t know.”
My voice became as small as an ant. I wondered whether I should raise my guard again or not. Fuck. This damn mouth of mine was the problem. I could have just sharply said I had no such thoughts so give up, but why did I babble about romantic and whatnot……
As I bit my lower lip while blaming myself, Kim Haewon’s face approached right in front of my nose. Close enough that our noses were almost touching.
