“It’s not accurate information.”
Kim Haewon added cautiously. But I just let those words pass. His personality had a tenacity that didn’t miss even the few remaining percentages of possibility before being certain.
Probably this information would be quite accurate, unlike what he said. I continued speaking while making that determination.
“But the fact that you told me means you have grounds for thinking that way, right?”
“Yesterday and today, I received the same information from three informants. The sources were all different.”
Akutagawa Yu. He had headed from Japan to America pursuing freedom. There was no reason for gangs to be involved in that.
Moreover, since it was after Kim Haewon had brought up the story about MK among the SS-class espers, it would be difficult to honestly obtain information about it from Akutagawa. I pondered deeply for a bit, then opened my mouth.
“We should also consider the timing when the informants started hearing news as important. MK’s name was mentioned for the first time at the SS-class esper meeting, right?”
“Correct. I’m keeping that part in mind too. It probably means either Akutagawa moved, or the MK side realized their name was mentioned at the SS-class meeting. However, since the investigation was conducted from before that, there’s no problem.”
“So you’ve been suspecting from before that there was another reason for his naturalization? Did Akutagawa Yu do something that warranted that?”
“Naturalization is a sensitive issue. Since Akutagawa himself didn’t reveal a clear reason, we had no choice but to investigate. We also needed to know if there was any threat or coercion. That part is still under investigation.”
Kim Haewon was already maintaining a defensive stance regarding Akutagawa Yu. However, it wouldn’t only be in a negative way. It was after losing Ryu Heegang absurdly easily. The SS-class espers had provisionally become a system of nine. And who knew when it would become eight.
“Akutagawa Yu might be the most likely next target.”
“They could also make us let our guard down like this and touch someone else. All nine need to be careful.”
Those nine included Kim Haewon himself. I nodded. Among the four organizations, what they desired more than anyone would be Kim Haewon.
When he changed like Ryu Heegang, who could stop him? Could the remaining eight espers unite and stop him? I couldn’t easily give an answer.
Probably all the SS-class espers were thinking that. If this person becomes a monster, we could somehow stop them, but if this person becomes a monster, we can’t stop them. Perhaps there would also be a sense of crisis that someone might be in collusion with the enemy. In a situation where helping each other was already difficult, they would guard against and monitor each other.
I recalled how Akutagawa Yu had sharply observed Kim Haewon’s pressure and asked about it. That too must have been a manifestation of some sense of crisis.
“It’s also a problem that the espers can’t trust each other. The other espers are probably conducting background checks too, right?”
“Yes, they probably are. They must have received quite a shock from Esper Ryu Heegang’s incident.”
Kim Haewon spoke as if it were too obvious. I continued speaking with a bitter tone.
“Still, they were colleagues of only ten people, so that must be something.”
“Not quite. SS-class espers usually move alone and don’t smoothly interact with each other. It can’t be helped because of national security issues.”
Kim Haewon’s voice really seemed without lingering attachment. I nodded. Actually, even I, who was speaking like this, had suddenly become alone when contact was completely cut off due to security issues. There wasn’t anyone who desperately tried to contact me. It was probably because everyone was busy making a living.
Even from Guide Department 1, there hadn’t been a single contact. It might partly be because Oh Guhyeon and Jeon Jinhyeok were unfriendly middle-aged men, but fundamentally, Kim Haewon’s words that there was no exchange or camaraderie in the world of S-class seemed correct.
I recalled the words ‘each man for himself’ that Akutagawa Yu had said. Everyone was living lives too busy to look after their own survival.
Wasn’t that quite lonely?
Perhaps Nam Ihyeon could be friendly with me because he was the least authoritarian and most humane among the S-class. It might be because he had a heart to be with others rather than alone.
If this thought of mine was correct, that guy must have been quite lonely. After thinking that, I could also understand his throwing a fit over a few ignored messages.
I felt like I could find the exact source of the emotions I had felt toward Kim Haewon. Even when together, he was somehow like someone who moved alone. He seemed like someone who didn’t fit the pair system of operating as a team with a guide. That was the reason it made me angry. It felt like he excluded my existence throughout carrying out missions.
But that wasn’t it. It was just that involving an existence other than himself in this fight was unfamiliar to him.
Because he had always fought alone.
For such a person to suggest going to Pamundong together would not have been an easy thing. He had never had a pair guide before. I felt grateful for no reason. And I thought I should tell that to Kim Haewon.
Because if I didn’t say it, he wouldn’t know. Just like how I hadn’t fully understood Kim Haewon’s heart.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For asking me to go to Pamundong together. For Esper Kim Haewon, participating in an operation with someone must be an unfamiliar thing. Still, thank you for speaking up first.”
Kim Haewon’s lips twitched for a moment. Since he seemed not to know what to say, I chuckled.
“I got it exactly right, didn’t I?”
“Is this kind of thing also in there?”
I shook my head. Then Kim Haewon also smiled very slightly. Perhaps because it was the first time seeing him smile, my gaze wouldn’t drop as I searched for the traces of the smile that had faintly disappeared.
‘His smile is really cool. Is it more so because he doesn’t smile often?’
It wasn’t that I fell for it or anything, I just thought it was cool. I even wondered if I should practice not smiling often and only occasionally chuckling like that.
Kim Haewon was looking at me, then lowered his gaze to his phone. Someone seemed to be looking for him. He sent a message and immediately made a call. Then he stood up from his seat.
“I should get going.”
“Yes. See you in two days.”
“No. I’ll come tomorrow.”
“What? Why?”
“There’s no one who can visit, right?”
I scratched my head. That was true, but that didn’t mean Kim Haewon needed to come.
“You’re coming because I’m alone?”
“Yes. Well, if there’s new information, we should share it, shouldn’t we?”
“Ah, right.”
Only then did I properly understand his words. It was like a kind of strategy meeting. I nodded vigorously and continued speaking.
“Then what time will you come? Come around lunch or dinner time. The hospital food is really delicious, you know.”
“There’s nothing special about it, is there?”
“Tomorrow’s Wednesday, so they serve something delicious. I’ll get two portions. We can have a meeting while eating, right?”
Come to think of it, I had never properly had a meal with Kim Haewon. It was a bit uncool since it was hospital food, but there was also the feeling that as long as it was delicious, wasn’t that enough? Kim Haewon said he understood at my words, then stood up from his seat. He was about to turn his body right away but stopped and looked at me again.
“Why? Do you have something to say?”
“By any chance, is there anything you want to eat?”
“Something I want to eat?”
“You can’t choose the menu for hospital food, right?”
It was something I hadn’t given much thought to. I waved my hand saying it was fine. But Kim Haewon seemed quite unsettled and couldn’t take a step. I scratched my cheek and continued speaking.
“Buy a cold drink or something. Like coffee. We can have a cup after eating, right?”
“Understood. Let’s do that. I’ll be going.”
“Yes. Get back safely.”
I waved my hand. We had clearly been very distant, but it felt like we had become quite close in an instant. My heart also seemed to have become very light and refreshed. Like a sky that had been cloudy the whole time suddenly clearing up in one breath.
‘Even if I pretend otherwise, was I paying a lot of attention to Kim Haewon?’
It couldn’t be helped. Kim Haewon was also my first pair esper. In a way, being a pair was meaningless, but in a way, wasn’t it an extremely close relationship?
“Ah, I should have done some guiding when he came.”
He must have used considerable energy dealing with Ryu Heegang that day. Kim Haewon was so good at enduring that it didn’t show. That’s why it was a part the partner guide needed to take care of on their own.
“He’s actually a type that requires a lot of attention.”
I picked up my phone thinking I definitely needed to give him guiding tomorrow. Nam Ihyeon was throwing a fit saying ‘did you die while sending messages?’ I said that Kim Haewon had come and gone. He immediately sent a reply saying it was absurd.
So unfair. He can visit but I can’t.――
Still, he went once since you’re a pair
Mulling over Nam Ihyeon’s words, it was a huge development. In the past, he would obviously have just sent drinks through Chief Secretary Hwang Changho.
‘Did we become a bit closer?’
It was too much to think that way. There weren’t many memories of talking amicably. Still, being frequently placed in urgent life-threatening situations, there was an aspect that unknowingly became close. Like the heart of comrades-in-arms sharing life and death together. More than anything, when he fully acknowledged me, I liked the feeling that my existence was somewhat meaningful.
I had thought about it many times, but I wasn’t someone who wanted to become a great hero. However, as long as I was by that hero’s side as a guide, I didn’t want to remain a meaningless existence. When I saw the nameless C-class hero who had disappeared in the novel, maybe the reason I was angry was because of such regret. The name of one person who had fought together had been erased without a trace.
But perhaps the protagonist in that novel didn’t resent the S-class esper at the moment of death. At least during the fight, the two people had fought trusting and relying on each other to the point of being no different from one. At the moment of death, that might have been enough for him.
I thought about that topic for a while, then soon shook my head. The novel had started again, and the story had changed.
And I.
“I will definitely survive.”
I had absolutely no desire to die.
I looked at the novel application that wasn’t giving notifications. I thought I would definitely survive by mobilizing all the hints I had.
Together with my pair esper who acknowledges me.
Kim Haewon’s faint smile briefly came to mind and quickly disappeared.
