This must be the kind of fulfillment you’d feel if you献ed your entrails completely to a fox spirit.
Yeo Dowoon’s heart raced uncontrollably at the sight of Cha Haseong’s back as he entered the house first. The emotionally-colored hair falling gently over his pale nape consistently stirred his protective instincts.
But he also felt a fleeting sense of guilt for having left the hospital with Kwon Jeonghoo still unable to open his eyes. To put it boldly, half his thoughts were on Kwon Jeonghoo, half on Cha Haseong.
‘I already told you that only Guides can go in anyway. Everyone rest up and gather again in the morning or something. Dowoon, you go home quickly too. Nothing gets solved by sitting there.’
If Shim Woomin, who couldn’t bear to watch Ko Ijae’s complexion turn more and more like a dead person’s, hadn’t declared that, he probably would have stayed nailed in place waiting for Kwon Jeonghoo no matter how much Cha Haseong grilled him.
Yeo Dowoon felt more unfamiliar with the officetel scenery he was seeing after a long time.
The spacious white-toned three-room seemed inappropriate to say it was only used for sleeping purposes. Only then could Yeo Dowoon remember how he’d come to acquire this space.
“The house might be messy, so let me check for a moment. Just a moment!”
Startled, he hurriedly took steps forward.
Cha Haseong, who had reached near the closest bedroom and was holding the doorknob, tilted his head as if puzzled. At Yeo Dowoon’s face full of worry, he explained in a gentle tone.
“As long as there’s a place to rest my head, I don’t mind.”
“Then for now, please stay in that room over there….”
But due to the sound of the doorknob turning as if ignoring his feelings, Yeo Dowoon became extremely desperate.
This place was actually regularly cleaned by calling housekeepers, so it might be more appropriate to say it was managed without even a chance to feel messy.
So Yeo Dowoon’s real concern wasn’t the sanitary condition of the room, but rather the interior design.
“……Ah.”
Cha Haseong let out an indifferent exclamation.
He felt like he’d go crazy from embarrassment. If a mouse hole had existed, it would definitely have been enough embarrassment to stick his face in and then some. Yeo Dowoon couldn’t even bring himself to make excuses.
The furniture in the room consisted of only two things: a king-size bed with an impressive jet-black color, and a long full-length mirror that seemed about the average height of an adult male.
The purpose was obvious without even looking.
At the interior design reeking with sexual implications, Cha Haseong burst into a hollow laugh. The fan-shaped lamp placed on the side table was questionable to even call furniture.
“…Orthodox and neat.”
Therefore, Yeo Dowoon couldn’t comfortably rejoice even at Cha Haseong’s praise.
Because he could guess on his own that he wasn’t spouting such emotionless exclamations because he really wanted to praise him.
This officetel was an event space prepared as a surprise gift to appease his then-girlfriend when he’d been busy with operations and had neglected her.
So what he did here was…….
“The sheets and blankets are freshly washed, right?”
What he did was nothing but the vigorous acts that two adult men and women could do with one bed between them. Cha Haseong, gripping the doorknob, calmly announced without moving a single step further.
“If not, I’ll sleep on the living room sofa.”
For a moment, Yeo Dowoon was seized by the impulse to grab Cha Haseong by the collar and shake him out, erasing all the awkward imaginings he must be conjuring.
He wanted to deny it, but his conscience was pricked too much for that. Yeo Dowoon turned his head sharply away, avoiding Cha Haseong who was staring at him, and answered. His voice was troubled.
“…I changed the sheets and blankets each time.”
“Is that so?”
“The housekeeper also comes once a week…, so it should be clean.”
“That’s fortunate to hear.”
Damn it. It seemed he’d meddled unnecessarily.
Yeo Dowoon delved into belated regret, thinking he should have just taken him to a nice hotel instead. If he’d treated him in a suite room with a nice view, he wouldn’t have had to receive such cold eyes.
Cha Haseong, leisurely taking off his outerwear, brought out a low voice as if surprised.
“If you had to keep an extra house…, you really must have played around promiscuously. Dowoon-ssi.”
“No.”
Yeo Dowoon desperately denied it. That damn promiscuity talk!
If he heard it two or three more times, it felt like scabs might form on his ears. The word “licentious” was the same. Those were all words unrelated to his sexual values.
“I’ve been living so modestly all this time.”
Yeo Dowoon defended himself. Then Cha Haseong went “mmm,” drawing out his words. When Yeo Dowoon felt displeased at the bland reaction, he sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him.
“Come here first.”
So Yeo Dowoon couldn’t help but harbor distrust, wondering what scheme Cha Haseong was plotting now. But facing that brightly smiling man before his eyes, his feet moved on their own.
Cha Haseong looked up at Yeo Dowoon, who had walked over gracefully and stood before him, and suddenly embraced his waist. Their knees touched subtly. It was warm and cozy.
Cha Haseong pressed his face against Yeo Dowoon’s flat abdomen and whispered.
“I think it’s time for guiding.”
“…How about doing it after getting some sleep?”
“No. It’s more comfortable for both of us to finish work first and then rest.”
But no matter how much he thought about it, it didn’t feel right to hold onto someone who had finally gotten rest time after an exhausting schedule.
Cha Haseong showered bird kisses on Yeo Dowoon’s top while acting habitually cute. Yeo Dowoon, who let out a sigh—haa—gently supported the back of his head and said.
“Sleep.”
“……”
“Just holding hands is enough for me.”
Once he’d acted all high and mighty, he felt like a scumbag bastard spouting nonsense about “let’s just hold hands and sleep,” but it still seemed like he’d covered it up well.
Cha Haseong obediently flopped onto the bed as Yeo Dowoon pushed his shoulders down to lay him down. Thud, when he finally lowered his back completely, Yeo Dowoon also carefully sat on the mattress.
Creak, the springs sank deep. Yeo Dowoon, who had lightly placed his palm on the back of Cha Haseong’s hand as announced, muttered in a bitterly audible tone.
“At times like this, your lover seems amazing, Guide-nim.”
“…Why?”
“Because if it were me, I would have died from my chest bursting with frustration long ago.”
He’d never even dreamed of thoughts like interlacing fingers or rolling them up to hold. Yeo Dowoon didn’t want to plant displeasure caused by himself in him. Just enough to be permitted. Just enough to be tolerated.
Cha Haseong scratched Yeo Dowoon’s palm painlessly as if telling him to continue talking.
“Why.”
Even his way of urging an answer was so like Cha Haseong that it made his heart ache.
Setting up sharp thorns to hurt people, yet unable to abandon unconscious affection, whenever he was needed, he would appear without fail and willingly offer his embrace. Yeo Dowoon remembered the sound of his quiet heartbeat.
Intimate contact that was completely different in texture from a cozy embrace, yet far different.
Yeo Dowoon confessed honestly, but hoping it would never feel like a complaint.
“Because if they knew other bastards were eyeing you like this, regardless of the other person’s will, they’d want to lock you up somewhere.”
“I already feel like I’m living locked up, so my life probably wouldn’t change much.”
Cha Haseong, who had been offering his hand, breathed in deeply as if taking a pause. The exhale that came out with a “haa” contained complicated emotions that no one but the person involved could definitively define.
When Yeo Dowoon, who had been standing blankly, seemed to roughly return to reality, Cha Haseong quietly revealed.
“I don’t have a lover, Dowoon-ssi.”
At that moment, Yeo Dowoon felt a fierce commotion as if all the blood in his body was plummeting from 500 meters in the air.
“You misunderstood.”
***
‘He doesn’t have a lover.’
His peacefully sleeping face looked exactly like princesses in fairy tales written against the backdrop of a tranquil forest. Then would I be a dwarf hovering around the area, offering things like apples and roses?
For a dwarf, I’d be on the tall side, so I hope I could play the prince role.
Yeo Dowoon chewed over useless thoughts while appreciating Cha Haseong. Opportunities to look at him so freely like this didn’t come often.
So since he’d gotten this time anyway, he intended to keep looking until he got sick of it. When he wakes up, he’ll be hungry, so should I prepare food too?
“Ah, what should I do……”
Because of the laughter seeping out and his swelling heart that just wouldn’t settle down no matter how much he tried to control it, Yeo Dowoon was really going crazy and jumping for joy. His palms tickled incessantly.
So, Guide-nim doesn’t have a lover. He really doesn’t have one….
Though he knew it was a foolish way of thinking, his heart became boisterous and noisy like finding a gap in a goal protected by a powerful goalkeeper.
‘Then why did such rumors spread?’
There were many questions that arose, but they just floated away like rolling clouds and retreated to the back of his head. Because the judgment entered that since he’d received confirmation from the person himself anyway, there was no need to worry about it anymore.
Yeo Dowoon straightened the blanket that Cha Haseong had pushed away while tossing in his sleep and raised his upper body. About two hours had passed since he’d fallen asleep, so it seemed time to order food soon.
“……Where are you going.”
But as soon as the blanket rustled, Cha Haseong immediately moved his chapped lips. His eyelids blinked sluggishly as if unable to overcome drowsiness. Below that, his abundant eyelashes hung down.
