# Chapter 14
Without waiting, Yumyeong walked toward the rooftop first. When he pushed the door open, cold wind fiercely struck him head-on.
The headwind hit him, revealing Yumyeong’s body lines in just a white shirt without a jacket. His black, fine-textured hair flew in all directions. The strands of hair reaching out in all directions either soared into the air or covered his cheeks, decorating Yumyeong’s face even more brilliantly. The fierce wind scraped past his forearm exposed below his rolled-up sleeves.
The rooftop with its gray cement floor was desolate. It wasn’t a landscape he liked, but this was perfect for settling matters.
Yumyeong approached the railing that came up to thigh height. The school could be seen at a glance below.
Behind him, he heard the door open and close again. Yumyeong turned around. Hakyoung was standing there, facing the headwind.
Whether he’d gotten back the winter uniform jacket he’d lent to Heeun, Hakyoung was wearing his jacket. Even that was irritating, so Yumyeong glared at Hakyoung with narrowed eyes. When his already long eyes folded in half, his slightly drooping eye corners rippled.
“Are you doing this on purpose?”
Yumyeong asked confrontationally right off the bat.
Hakyoung, who had been standing with proper posture until now, shifted his weight to one leg at an angle as if dumbfounded after hearing that. He seemed to have immediately grasped why he’d been called out.
Just by putting his hands in his pockets and putting weight on one leg, it was clearly felt that Hakyoung found the current situation trivial.
“That thing with Heeun, you did that on purpose to show me, didn’t you.”
“That’s excessive self-consciousness.”
“Don’t play games. If you keep acting childish……”
“Games? I’m just naturally kind.”
“The person receiving it is misunderstanding.”
“That’s not my concern.”
Yumyeong’s chest suddenly heated up. He didn’t want to admit it, but this conversation itself was humiliating. Yumyeong had been rejected. On the other hand, if Hakyoung paid attention to someone and acted affectionately, it seemed he could win them over very easily.
But that shouldn’t happen, should it? Because Ryu Hakyoung is……
“You’re not even interested in girls anyway.”
“……”
Hakyoung didn’t retort. But he didn’t deny it either.
After a moment, he turned his head to the side as if the blowing wind was bothersome. His abundant hair gently undulated over his distinct nose bridge with its three-dimensional mid-face.
“Who knows. If I try being interested…… I might come to like girls.”
“Don’t be ridiculous! Can that be done through effort? That kind of thing is decided from birth.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
Hakyoung said quietly.
Yumyeong felt momentarily confused, unable to grasp what he was trying to say.
But he quickly found the thread of conversation again. Yumyeong was a negotiator. Even without being conscious of it, he habitually stabbed at the other person’s weakness to seize control. More than anything, he wasn’t used to losing or being swayed.
When he walked over and stood in front of Hakyoung, his gaze changed. Just by suddenly getting close, wariness and disgust subtly cast over Hakyoung’s face. Seeing that face, Yumyeong grinned.
“If you come at me like that, I can seduce the Dormitory fairy too.”
“……”
Yumyeong didn’t miss the moment his eyelids trembled. It must have been the right answer. Hakyoung showed subtle agitation.
Standing tall and watching Yumyeong quietly, Hakyoung spoke low and firmly.
“Don’t joke around.”
“I’m not joking though? If I try, I might come to like him.”
“Can liking men be done through effort?”
“You said you’d try, didn’t you? I’m going to try too.”
“Don’t play with people’s hearts.”
“Haha! Why do you think it’s playing? If I’m going crazy wanting to date, it could be possible.”
“You want to date?”
“Then why do you think I confessed to Heeun?”
“Then hold onto a girl!”
“Unfortunately, I already got rejected, didn’t I?”
Yumyeong glared at Hakyoung while being sarcastic. Seeing Hakyoung, who had consistently ignored him for forgetting his name, get flustered somehow made his heart feel refreshed and clear. At the same time, it was interesting that Hakyoung’s feelings for the Dormitory fairy seemed genuine.
“What to do? The Dormitory fairy will come to my room again today…… He does roll call in his own room but only sleeps in our room, so he doesn’t have bedding, you know? Now that I think about it, I was really thoughtless. I should ask if he’s cold. If he says he is, we should at least share a blanket…… Huh?”
Hakyoung turned right around and tried to leave through the door. He seemed to have realized that the longer the conversation went on, the more he was getting drawn in. Yumyeong quickly ran over and blocked the doorway.
“Where are you going?”
Strong wind blew, rattling and shaking the rooftop door.
On Yumyeong’s white arms with rolled-up sleeves, blue veins were clearly visible. His body, exposed to the cold for a long time, was trembling finely without him knowing. Noticing this, Hakyoung looked Yumyeong over quietly.
“There’s nothing more to talk about. I’m going in.”
“Hey! We need to reach a conclusion. Fine. I’ll decide it clearly for you. Let’s not do things without feelings for each other.”
“I told you, it’s just kindness.”
“Then don’t give any room for hope either.”
“Then don’t let Lee Sunmin sleep in your room.”
“Who’s Sunmin…… Ah, the Dormitory fairy? That won’t work…… He doesn’t like being in his own room.”
Before Yumyeong could finish speaking, Hakyoung took another step as if it wasn’t worth listening to anymore. Extending his long arm to open the rooftop door was instantaneous.
Hakyoung, who seemed like he would disappear like that, paused for a moment and then spoke as if he couldn’t stand it anymore.
“You should wear a jacket when you go around.”
“What?”
“It’s cold.”
While he was asking back, the door slammed shut right in front of his nose. In a dazed state, Yumyeong looked at the closed door and sniffled.
“What the……”
Could he have been worried?
Yumyeong became bewildered.
They say kindness is a habit, so maybe it’s not completely untrue, Yumyeong muttered quietly. The girls Hakyoung treated kindly would blush without even realizing it. To think that would work on him too. Yumyeong was briefly amazed. His chest felt strangely fluttery from just one comment about wearing proper clothes.
Rubbing his strangely pounding heart, Yumyeong turned around.
Once he became conscious of the cold, his body was trembling to the point of shaking. Chattering his teeth, he approached the railing again.
Since the first semester started, Yumyeong hadn’t worn a jacket even once. It hung nicely in his wardrobe, but there was only one reason he didn’t wear it. Last year, he’d torn it badly while playing basketball wearing it. Not only was the lining tattered, but even the seam connecting the arm and shoulder had come undone, making it unwearable.
Of course, he could order a new one or get it repaired. But Yumyeong didn’t have the money for that. The card he’d received upon enrollment had been frozen long ago. Since he just went back and forth between the dorm and school, he actually hadn’t felt very cold, so he’d been just getting by.
Without realizing it, Yumyeong clenched his fist so hard that nail marks appeared on his palm.
After entering this school, Yumyeong had stayed in the dorm for both vacations. Especially after fighting with the seniors last year, his mother had said it would be better if he didn’t come home, saying his father’s mood had gotten drastically worse. Thanks to that, it had been quite a while since he’d called home.
A few times the housekeeper answered, but the last time he called, not even she answered.
His parents’ relationship might have gotten more serious recently. His father was a tyrant. Yumyeong didn’t want to stir up such a household. Just because of a torn uniform.
“Haha…… Well, it’ll be fucking hot soon anyway.”
After laughing, strangely enough, he realized that hadn’t been his original mood. Yumyeong looked down at the campus spread out below with dark eyes.
Does Ryu Hakyoung know this feeling too?
According to rumors, Ryu Hakyoung was an illegitimate child. And that was probably true.
Around the date when his mother Jin Hwayoung held her wedding ceremony, Hakyoung was already three years old. And that was even before his father had gotten divorced. It was a rumor that wasn’t revealed to the public and was treated as tabloid gossip even as it circulated secretly, but if you actually count Hakyoung’s age, you’d know that rumor was true.
However, Ryu Hakyoung seemed to be a beloved illegitimate child. His father publicly accepted his second wife, a former actress, and their child as his family and bore the various stigmas that followed. Although it was a relationship that started with an affair, an act that would be morally condemned, in the end he took responsibility, so he might be a good father to Hakyoung.
Then, is Ryu Hakyoung more unhappy than me?
He even likes men on top of that.
Yumyeong climbed up and sat straddling the railing. Although it looked precarious with the dizzying seven-story height behind him and the fierce headwind, his straight back maintained good balance.
In his vision, he could see streetlight beams disappearing into mountain tunnels in the distance, dot by dot. Hakyoung’s situation, which he didn’t even know well, was clearly pictured before his eyes, but the moment he recalled his own situation, Yumyeong’s head became opaque as if shrouded in dense fog.
It was always like that. Even with that clever mind, he couldn’t easily find answers to the problems in his own life.
Between you and me, which of us is more unhappy?
When Hakyoung was in a bad mood, he would often just shut his mouth and show his displeasure. That was secretly enviable yet irritating. Because even when he himself was struggling and suffering, he didn’t show it. He was afraid that the moment someone else witnessed his unhappiness, it would become real.
Then Hakyoung’s attitude of ignoring him coldly just because he didn’t remember him felt particularly obnoxious anew. People praised him as calm and composed, but in reality he was just a child who thought showing his emotions meant losing. It was also ridiculous that he easily showed disgust toward someone just because of jealousy.
Having sat there for a while, Yumyeong’s white face completely lost its warmth and became pale like wax. Looking at the streetlights, Yumyeong curled his lips up.
“You hate me over something like that……? Should I give you a real reason to hate me……?”
