Chapter 17. So, We (1)
Strangely, his body felt heavy. Was it really because the heat cycle was approaching, as Haesung said, that he felt like lead? Sighing deeply, he rested his head against the passenger window.
“When you get inside, make sure to take your medicine. You are still taking it regularly, right?”
At Wootae’s words, Dohyeong only nodded.
He didn’t have the energy to answer. Was it body aches? Well, he’d been moving non-stop since the last pictorial shoot, so it was understandable.
“Why did you drink when it was offered?”
“What could I do… The director, the writer, the staff. Everyone was pouring drinks saying we worked hard.”
“You could have refused.”
“I was happy.”
At the words thrown out, Wootae chewed his lips. Happy. His stomach warmed at the resonance of those words.
That’s why he didn’t add more words. He kept his mouth shut and gripped the steering wheel tightly.
“It’s been so long since I’ve had people to work together with like this. That I… that I could start this work again. I was just happy about everything.”
“…Yeah, as long as you’re happy.”
He nodded with a bitter smile. His fingertips drumming on the steering wheel were somewhat stiff.
After driving for a while and arriving in front of his house, Dohyeong told Wootae he didn’t need to come out and got out of the passenger seat.
The sight of him waving with his bag and coat in one hand somehow looked precarious.
Wootae smiled and waved back. Unnecessary nagging could be poison instead.
“You don’t have a schedule tomorrow, so rest well. Call if anything happens.”
“Hyung, you should go in quickly too and eat and rest. Thank you for today.”
“Okay. See you the day after tomorrow.”
And until the van disappeared ahead, Dohyeong stood there quietly waving.
After the long farewell ended, he didn’t know why his steps trudging home were so heavy.
Barely entering the password and coming into his house, Dohyeong went straight to the bedroom, not the bathroom or dressing room. Moving his body that sank like water-soaked cotton with difficulty, he collapsed onto the bed.
‘When you get inside, make sure to take your medicine. You are still taking it regularly, right?’
Wootae’s earnest voice echoed in his head. He knew he should get up immediately and take his suppressants, but his body wouldn’t move.
It felt exactly like someone was pulling him down from under the bed.
“…Ah, I even forgot the cycle. Am I stupid?”
Whenever the period approaching his heat cycle came, he couldn’t handle alcohol well or felt extreme fatigue. When he overdid it at such times, it often came 2-3 days earlier than scheduled.
Come to think of it, he had been pushing through schedules for several days. Even though Wootae took care of him, that was only momentary. Compared to the schedule during his peak, it didn’t even reach his toes, but considering he had rested for a long time, he was indeed overdoing it.
He forced his body to move and got under the blanket. He thought it would be fine to sleep a little and then get up to take the medicine.
Then suddenly, Haesung came to mind.
‘Kim Dohyeong-ssi is in a period where he can’t handle alcohol right now.’
The fact that his heart fluttered at the briefly met gaze became his own secret that he couldn’t tell anyone.
‘…When I was sick, it was a familiar number I remembered.’
The possibility he had pondered with a ‘what if’ thought would also remain a secret he couldn’t tell anyone.
What was it about those words saying he remembered when he was sick that shook a person like this?
He had endured that long time alone, walking forward while desperately overcoming everything. What was such sentimentality, what was that voice that called him saying he was sick?
He squeezed his eyes shut as they became hot under the blanket. Let’s sleep quickly, because everything would be resolved once he fell asleep. It would all be cleanly erased once tonight passed.
As he was chewing on such thoughts and swallowing his breath—
‘Did I say thank you?’
He suddenly thought that.
It was Haesung who drank the alcohol instead, worrying about his heat cycle. It was also Haesung who called Wootae saying he should be sent home.
‘Being able to come home early… was thanks to that person.’
He didn’t want to admit it.
He realized that the words that came naturally to Yuchan didn’t come out to Haesung.
He slightly pulled back the blanket and stuck out his face. Where did he put his phone? Getting down from the bed, he rummaged through the bag he had thrown anywhere, but couldn’t see it.
Thinking it might be in the coat he had taken off, he rummaged through the pockets of the scattered coat. When the angular device touched his fingertips, Dohyeong took out his phone and checked the screen.
The light was weak because there wasn’t much battery left.
Walking back to the bed, he stared at his phone for a long time.
It would be better to leave a message. But what should he write?
It would be nice if he had the ability to write simply like Haesung did, leaving only business that anyone could see.
After thinking for a while, he tapped the keyboard with tap, tap sounds.
Jung Haesung
I think I forgot to say thank you. Thank you for drinking instead of me and calling Wootae hyung. It’s not in any other meaning, it just seemed like something I had to tell you. Get home safely.|
This should be enough.
Pressing the send button, he closed his eyes.
Then memories from some time long ago suddenly flooded in.
There was a time when Haesung had to be away from home for about 3 weeks. The reason was overseas location shooting. Unfortunately, it overlapped with his heat cycle period, and Dohyeong had to postpone all his schedules and just lie sick.
Wootae, who was a beta, stayed by his side and took care of him every day, but unlike usual, the heat cycle didn’t subside easily.
Had it been about 2 weeks since he endured each day with difficulty?
Bang! There was a loud sound, and when he looked up, Haesung was standing at the doorway, breathing roughly.
At first, he thought it was a dream.
‘I missed, I missed you. Hyung… Hyung, I was afraid of what might happen to me like this. That was so… so scary.’
Stretching out both arms, he embraced him without even taking off his clothes and cried while speaking.
And that day, he was held by him until his body nearly broke.
‘Please, stop… ton-, ngh… stop, now, stop.’
Even at his heated plea, Haesung didn’t stop. Only the next afternoon, after barely opening his eyes, could he hear about the situation from Wootae.
Ji Wootae
During location shooting, he heard about you and made a fuss
Said he absolutely had to go to Korea
That guy is really something too
What did it feel like then? It’s a fleeting emotion he can’t even remember now.
Dohyeong’s heat cycle always overlapped with Haesung’s rut cycle. Because of that, there were times when they didn’t come out of the bedroom for several days. They mixed bodies like animals, craving and indulging in each other.
Only during those times did he consider it love. That Haesung also loved him, so he threw away even location shooting to come to him.
Of course, he still never heard his true intentions. Because he didn’t have the courage to ask.
‘Because I don’t want anyone else.’
‘You’re married. I have to take responsibility.’
He didn’t have confidence to endure those answers that would naturally follow.
Thinking about that time made him feel like his body was heating up unnecessarily. Thinking he couldn’t continue like this, he reached out and fumbled the nightstand.
After breaking up with Haesung, he learned how to solve it alone whenever his heat cycle came.
The things packed full in the largest drawer of the nightstand were for this purpose.
In the top drawer were the monthly suppressants.
This time, he had to rely on the power of suppressants as much as possible.
Because all the drama schedules shouldn’t get messed up because of him alone.
Considering that his heat cycle period and the script reading schedule overlapped similarly, it would be right to rely on medicine as much as possible.
The moment he opened the drawer and fumbled inside, heat began to boil throughout his body.
Still, there was some time left until his heat cycle. All kinds of thoughts overturned his head. Panicking, his hand rummaging through the drawer suddenly stopped.
He remembered the doctor’s words that his cycle had become irregular. Also the addition that until before, his cycle would have naturally settled due to Haesung, a dominant alpha.
‘Now… I think it’s more so because there are no pheromones that could influence him. The control device that regularly regulated him is gone, so pheromones are craving other pheromones. An omega’s heat cycle is a signal of pregnancy possibility.’
It must have been euphemistic. In the end, it would mean he became vigorous for breeding activities.
He didn’t know the difference between having a partner beside him who could breed at any time and a situation where he couldn’t would feel this big.
How did he solve it before? Was it suppressants?
Or did he solve it alone while suppressing his desires as much as possible?
As his body heated up and his breathing became rapid, his mind went white. Unable to do this or that, Dohyeong just picked up his phone while his body twitched.
Usually only Wootae was the one he looked for at such times, but no matter how many times he tried to connect, only the announcement that his phone was turned off came through. His mind became hazy. He should have told Wootae when he was even slightly sane.
Woo-ung, ung. The vibration sound was heard belatedly, but he couldn’t even open his eyes. It felt like he had already missed the timing to answer the phone and inform someone of his condition.
In the end, he hurriedly took off his pants. Curling his body into a ball, he reached his hand behind.
The wet sensation was vivid. This texture wrapping around his fingertips was very familiar, but the faint pleasure that followed was unfamiliar.
This isn’t it. Shaking his head from side to side, he only made groaning sounds. Gripping the blanket tightly, he bit the pillow. He hated the moans bursting from his mouth. Because his moans echoing in the completely empty house looked too pitiful.
The thought that it was okay because no one was there ended exactly at his fourth heat cycle. Because no one was there, moans sounded louder, and because nothing responded to the moans, his body became more distressed.
From then on, Dohyeong didn’t let out moans even on nights when he spent his heat cycle alone. Chewing and swallowing them inside, he stubbornly let out only heated breathing sounds.
The sounds that leaked out intermittently were only very faintly audible and couldn’t fill the house like before.
All Dohyeong could do when sudden heat came was to recall the most familiar touch. He remembered someone’s hands that moved as if they knew every corner of his body.
The Dohyeong of that time used to rub his whole body against the bed, unable to overcome unknown pleasure.
Yeah, just like right now.
“…Hyung.”
In the end, the forbidden name burst out of his mouth.
“…Hyung, please.”
Put it in. When he held the words he couldn’t dare speak in his mouth, the sound of entering the password was heard.
Did Wootae come? He thought he might have come to see him after seeing the missed calls on the screen.
“Dohyeong.”
At the following call, he moved his lips. He should say he’s here, but no voice came out. Ung, making a groaning sound, when he raised his body, the closed door suddenly opened.
His throat stung at the following call.
“Kim Dohyeong.”
It was a very familiar voice, the voice he had wanted to hear so much.
