Chapter 14. Lingering Regret Stems from Remorse (4)
They say that in life, awkward moments repeat themselves, and trials only come to the extent that one can endure them.
Could even this situation be a trial that he could overcome well? Dohyeong fell into contemplation.
“Now, Dohyeong-ssi and Yuchan-ssi, look at each other! Yuchan-ssi, good, just like that, so lovingly! It’s good because it’s so real.”
The excited voice and the sound of the shutter clicking couldn’t be more embarrassing.
The perfect gaze for the drama, the two seem to have good chemistry, they really look like people in love.
At the countless words pouring out, he recalled what had happened at the shop.
‘Let’s just forget it….’
Every time he mulled over his thoughts, Yuchan’s face that suddenly approached made his resolve scatter like dust.
‘Ah, seriously!’
When he squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them, a quiet voice reached his ears.
“Dohyeong-ah.”
He could see Yuchan’s face smiling with his eyes curved long. At that moment, Dohyeong had to hold his breath.
When was it, he had seen such a comment in an internet article about Yuchan.
I originally had no interest in Choi Yuchan. But after he appeared in <You Live Alone> and I saw him giggling with his bare face, I was completely smitten. Why smitten, you ask? Haven’t you seen it? Haven’t you seen Choi Yuchan’s fan video? I’ll buy the eyes of those who haven’t seen it, it’s literally an angel’s descent. Oppa, don’t act cute anywhere, seriously oppa don’t smile, no wait smile for us, no wait don’t smile.
How pretty could a smile be for someone to write such a comment?
He had thought that, but seeing his smiling face right in front of him, that comment was starting to make some sense.
Who would have known that a perfect actor’s smile, business upon business, could be this deadly?
Normally, he would wonder if he too could smile like that.
“Good! Now Yuchan-ssi, grab Dohyeong-ssi’s hand tightly, and Dohyeong-ssi, avoid his gaze with a shy expression!”
It was certain that Kim Dohyeong was the only one flustered and restless because of that smile.
As soon as the photographer’s request came, Yuchan grabbed Dohyeong’s hand. Though there was no additional request, when he brought his face close to him, he had no choice but to turn his head away.
Exclamations burst out from here and there on the set at Dohyeong’s natural gaze direction.
He glanced around the scene. Everyone’s eyes were directed here. The staff of each actor and the photographer. And even his assistant.
It was a mistake to follow the photographer’s opinion of wanting to shoot the sub-couple first before shooting the main couple. If he had at least had time to consult with Yuchan, it wouldn’t have gotten this tangled.
“Now this time, we’ll have you hug Dohyeong-ssi’s waist tightly! That’s right! Dohyeong-ssi, push Yuchan-ssi’s shoulder away. With force! Yuchan-ssi, you can’t be pushed away!”
Yuchan readily posed according to the photographer’s excited shouts.
He hugged Dohyeong’s waist tightly and pulled one of his arms toward himself, even taking poses that weren’t requested. He didn’t know why the slowly interlocking hands felt so hot.
“Yu, Yu, Yuchan-ah.”
In his flustered state, he found himself stuttering without realizing it.
He tried to push his shoulder away forcefully with his other hand, but there was no way Yuchan would be pushed by that touch. Instead, he just looked at Dohyeong intently with a sly smile and tilted his head.
“Why?”
“You’re over-immersed. You.”
“Oh, you’re right, I am over-immersed.”
And Yuchan pulled Dohyeong toward him forcefully.
Had his arms always been this solid? Why did they feel so unfamiliar?
When countless impressions flashed through his mind, he realized he had ended up in a position embraced by him. Between their touching shoulders, the interlocked hands of the two people were positioned obediently.
“The role I received is exactly the same as my current feelings.”
Why is he really acting like this?
He turned his head while suppressing the words that wanted to burst out. His face was surely burning hot as if it would explode.
It was the first time a photographer who only kept saying good things was this frustrating.
Of course, he knew that to end the shoot even a little faster, he had to obediently follow his requests. He would have to get used to Yuchan, who was doing his best to unify himself with his role.
But the head and body always operate separately.
Unable to do this or that, the shoot where he was led by Yuchan came to an end. The photographer was proud that he had gotten many good shots, and Yuchan joked that it was all thanks to Dohyeong helping well.
“…Thank you for your hard work. Haha.”
Dohyeong could only awkwardly smile and barely control his wildly beating heart.
“Good work, drink some water. Your face is about to burst. Are you that embarrassed?”
Even when Wootae approached and handed him water, Dohyeong couldn’t give a proper answer. He bit the straw and sucked up the water while squeezing his eyes shut.
As soon as he sat in the chair set up in a corner of the set, makeup staff approached and patted his face.
Were there still group shots left? At times like this, it was more comfortable to keep his eyes closed. If he happened to make eye contact with Yuchan, he felt like he would be struggling with the aftermath of the shoot.
Haah, when he let out a long sigh. The photographer’s following shout made Dohyeong’s heated head turn cold.
“Next is Haesung-ssi and Soyeon-ssi!”
When would he stop reacting just to hearing Haesung’s name?
Half wanting to watch the two people’s shoot. Half not wanting to watch.
Various tangled desires were dividing into sides and fighting in his head.
When the hands patting his face moved away one by one and he was completely alone, Dohyeong slowly opened his eyes.
‘Not watching this would be my loss.’
There would surely be something to see and learn from Haesung.
‘Anyway… I don’t want to admit it, but that person is my role model.’
He had dreamed of becoming an actor while watching his acting. Though his first wish was the greed to walk the same path by his side, at some point, the thought of wanting to follow even a little of his talent had filled his head.
‘Let’s watch. How that person expresses himself. Even if he rested and returned just like me, whether he’ll still be amazing like before….’
He got up from his seat with the sole intention of exploring the scene of his senior as an actor.
And he stood quietly among the staff. At least one person should have felt puzzled by Dohyeong’s movement, but the set was only quiet.
All that could be heard was the sound of the shutter clicking and the photographer’s small exclamations.
It was indeed a scene worthy of being called top stars. The two people were perfectly melted into their roles without any special requests from the photographer.
They looked at each other lovingly, or smiled while facing each other affectionately. The sight of them embracing with their foreheads touching was to the extent that there would be no doubt if someone said the two were dating.
Dohyeong, who had been quietly watching that scene, clenched his fists with all his might. His stomach churned. He was reacting to his talent for perfectly understanding the role even though he had rested and returned just like himself.
At that moment, startled by the presence of someone standing close beside him, he looked to the side.
“…As expected, there’s nothing to fault about Jung Haesung.”
Yuchan’s eyes as he muttered were also serious. Somehow hearing his frustrated voice, Dohyeong’s gaze was once again directed toward Haesung and Soyeon.
“Should I have also… set the mood a little?”
At Yuchan’s regretful answer, Dohyeong burst into audible laughter.
“Who said you didn’t?”
“Still, isn’t it enough if I did my best in my role?”
Yuchan’s sullen appearance kept making him laugh. Dohyeong lightly hit his shoulder and focused on the screen again.
“Good expression, good posture… Dohyeong-ah, should we shoot again too?”
Yuchan, who had straightened his back before he knew it, tapped Dohyeong’s shoulder and moved a little closer.
He could understand why Yuchan was succeeding as an actor. Though he was whispering secretly in a small voice, each of his words hit his ears precisely.
“What do you mean shoot again? It’s fine as it is.”
Dohyeong threw out a reproachful comment and focused his gaze on the screen again. Well, his feelings about wanting to shoot again were the same.
“Ah, why? Let’s shoot again. I can do it more coolly than that.”
Yuchan smiled once more and tapped Dohyeong’s shoulder.
“I said it’s fine, it’s tiring.”
When Dohyeong shook his head and stepped slightly to the side, Yuchan followed beside him. At the sight of the two giggling and laughing, the staff on the set also smiled faintly without exception.
Except for just one place, where Soyeon and Haesung were standing.
“Jung Haesung-ssi.”
The voice calling Haesung was low. He slowly turned his head and quietly looked at Soyeon’s eyes facing him.
“Everyone’s watching, and everything shows.”
Though it was a statement without a subject that stabbed his heart, he was a professional. Haesung skillfully made a relaxed smile and pulled Soyeon’s waist toward himself.
Then with his lightly resting fingertips, he carefully drew her head close. His face, pressed close, wouldn’t be visible. Only Soyeon’s expression tinged with wistfulness would surely be captured in the angle.
“Thank you for letting me know. I’ll be careful.”
If she had noticed, the staff would have also detected his subtle changes.
He didn’t want to admit that he had been shaken enough to affect the shooting.
Because once reasons start following, he would have to admit that he was regretting. Regret always stems from lingering attachment.
At least the lingering attachment toward Dohyeong shouldn’t exist. A life without regrets about his decisions, that was the direction of life that Haesung pursued.
When he took the position of embracing Soyeon from behind, her thin voice reached his ears.
“There will be more days to endure in the future… Are you planning to be shaken like that every time?”
“What do you mean?”
Soyeon, who had been giggling, gently caressed his jawline according to the photographer’s first request.
Her upward gaze sparkled. Like someone who had found an interesting opportunity and was very pleased, the way one corner of her mouth curled up roundly wasn’t something he had seen wrong.
“Choi Yuchan-ssi has feelings for Kim Dohyeong-ssi. His gaze has been different since the start of shooting. Didn’t you know?”
Let’s not be shaken. He mustn’t be swayed.
The countless resolutions he had made wavered at that single statement. Without realizing it, he turned his gaze and looked far into the distance at some part of the set that wasn’t clearly visible.
Was it because Soyeon moved her gaze along with him? The director thought they were two lovers looking into the distance and continuously pressed the shutter rapidly.
“It’ll be interesting.”
At her words mixed with laughter, Haesung couldn’t refute a single word.
“Watching Jung Haesung-ssi, who realized it belatedly, go crazy with jealousy.”
He should have said it wasn’t true, but the fact that it didn’t come out easily might mean agreement. While he was busily denying it inside, he once again remained silent at Soyeon’s following words.
“Show me lots of interesting sights, I’m really looking forward to it. Jung Haesung’s pride properly breaking, I mean.”
