Inhan asked Yuho once more.
“But why are you angry with me?”
“I’m not angry.”
“Is it because of my individual fans?”
“Well, that’s nothing new.”
“Or are you like this because I’m dating?”
“Why would I be angry about something like that?”
The suddenly heightened voice of Yuho sent a chill between the two. Yuho frowned and tried to find his composure.
“No, I… I feel like you’ve been avoiding me ever since I told you I got a girlfriend. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I really can’t think of any reason. So hyung…”
“It’s because you’re annoying.”
Yuho’s response surprised Inhan more than any answer he had prepared for. It was a sentence that had never once appeared among the many possible answers he had anticipated.
“What?”
“I’m your hyung, but I don’t like how you keep treating me like a younger brother. No matter how hard I try, no one appreciates me and I just get criticized. But you get to do whatever you want, so it pisses me off.”
Finally turning his chair to face Inhan, Yuho was making explosive statements that Inhan couldn’t have imagined.
“…Hyung.”
“I want to be loved by fans too, build recognition, and date. But I don’t even qualify for that.”
“What are you saying, hyung.”
“So when I see you, I feel upset. Because it makes me look smaller.”
Looking at Yuho’s cold eyes, Inhan sensed it. He was being abandoned. The thought that he would be mercilessly rejected by Yuho filled his mind. Inhan felt like he wanted to kneel down and beg.
“Hyung. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry. Okay? I’ll do better. I’ll try harder not to hurt your feelings.”
“No. Don’t try. I don’t need that.”
“How can you… say such things to me?”
Finally, even Inhan couldn’t hold back and uttered words of resentment.
“How have I endured until now? With what feelings have I come this far? How can you, hyung?”
“Exactly.”
Even Inhan’s hard-expressed inner feelings were dismissed by Yuho as if they were none of his business.
“We have different positions and different thoughts. So, Inhan. Let’s just be business partners.”
Inhan froze at Yuho’s ice-cold words. The situation felt unreal, like a dream.
“Not family, not friends, just colleagues. Let’s just be colleagues, Inhan. I hear that’s better for maintaining the team anyway.”
At Yuho’s continued words, Inhan wanted to run away. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have just waited until things got better. Belated regret washed over him. He wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard and avoid the situation. But Yuho wasn’t even giving him that chance.
“Let’s stop pretending to be okay for each other’s sake.”
“I’ve never pretended. I really meant it. Thinking about the hyungs gave me strength…”
“Then you keep doing whatever you want. I’m going to stop everything.”
“Stop what?”
“Accommodating you.”
Those words from Yuho were a denial of all the days the two had spent together. It meant that Yuho had only been swept along by Inhan’s lead. Looking back, perhaps it was true. It was always Inhan who gave affection first, who cared so much he didn’t know what to do. Yuho might have just been going along with whatever Inhan did. As that thought occurred to him, Inhan didn’t want to do anything anymore.
Whether it was a dream, love, or reality, it all seemed meaningless.
* * *
“Did something happen between you two? Did you fight?”
On the first day of solo concert practice, when Yuho and Inhan, who should have been sticking together like one body in the practice room, were noticeably avoiding each other, Taylor, unable to bear it anymore, pressed the two.
“No. Nothing happened.”
At Yuho’s calm response, Inhan kept his mouth shut. Taylor, displeased with Inhan, asked the question again.
“Really? Jung Inhan, why aren’t you saying anything?”
“Really, nothing happened.”
Inhan answered reluctantly. It was the truth. That’s what made it even more maddening. Inhan bit his lower lip, hiding his true feelings.
“What’s with these guys?”
“What else? They must be going through puberty.”
Yeomin, who was clinging to Taylor who seemed to be getting increasingly heated, tried hard to defuse the situation. In fact, the person suffering the most between the two was Yeomin. The two had now reached the point where they would only speak to each other through Yeomin.
But they couldn’t openly rebuke them because they perfectly acted like friendly members in front of the camera.
It was true that being in the same group didn’t mean they always got along well. Taylor himself had fought with Raulie more than ten times. He had even shown it in front of the camera several times.
“Keep it in check.”
Nevertheless, Taylor didn’t forget to warn the two.
“Yes.”
Yuho answered again without any hesitation.
Inhan, who was watching with a bitter expression, turned his gaze away to avoid answering.
Are they really going through puberty? Taylor felt uneasy but decided to wait and see for now.
* * *
“Yuho hyung. Which color do you think is better?”
“Yellow? No. How about something unusual, like green?”
Inhan had to suppress the feeling of choking up as he looked at Yuho’s face, which was smiling brightly at him.
They were filming content for their own channel, and as luck would have it, the two were paired up to decorate albums together.
“If the petals are green, what color should the stem be?”
“Red? No. Don’t ask me, you should do it yourself. It’s yours.”
Saying that, Yuho shifted his gaze back to the album placed in front of him. Inhan quietly looked at Yuho’s profile for a moment before withdrawing his gaze and focusing on decorating the album. As Yuho suggested, he colored the petals green and the stem red.
“How is it? I did well, right?”
Living up to his nickname JeongTtoJal (Jung Inhan Also Does Well), Jung Inhan put tremendous artistic passion into decorating the album.
Among the dozen or so flowers adorning the album, only one picture stood out as not matching.
It was the green flower that he had colored according to Yuho’s instructions.
Yuho pointed at that flower and said to Inhan.
“This one might have been better in a different color.”
“No. I like this one the best.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“How does mine look?”
Instead of responding further, Yuho picked up the album he had decorated and showed it to Inhan.
Yuho’s drawing skills, which were terrible at everything except guitar playing, were worse than those of a preschool child. The album he had worked hard to decorate for 30 minutes also looked like it had been scribbled on by a nephew.
“What’s this pig-like thing?”
“It’s a cat.”
“I see.”
A brief silence fell between the two. Although Inhan usually praised everything Yuho did unconditionally, he couldn’t bring himself to say words of praise looking at that drawing. Inhan racked his brain and managed to say something to Yuho.
“Um. I can feel the purity in the drawing. And the use of colors and lines is bold. It’s very much like Yuho hyung.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Of course it is.”
“Hmm.”
“Should we write a message on the back too?”
“Sure.”
Inhan quickly changed the subject and wrapped up the situation. Yuho also accepted Inhan’s words without much objection.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
Inhan and Yuho, who finished filming first among the three teams, greeted the staff.
Although there were a few awkward silences during the filming, the two looked like friendly brothers to anyone who saw them. Of course, Inhan looked like the older brother and Yuho looked like the younger brother.
None of the filming staff suspected there was a problem between the two.
After greeting, the two headed to the downstairs office where the other teams were filming.
Throughout the corridor, the two were silent.
“Hyung. I broke up with Jia noona.”
It was when they were going down the stairs alone. Inhan’s mouth suddenly opened, and Yuho’s steps abruptly stopped at those words. It had been a little over a month since he heard about them dating.
“Why are you telling me that?”
Yuho spoke to Inhan, still showing a cold attitude.
“I don’t know either.”
Inhan closed his mouth again. And until they reached the lower floor, neither of them opened their mouths.
“Hyung. Can I wait in the car?”
As soon as he spotted Suhyung in the office corridor, Inhan addressed him.
These days, it was often Inhan who avoided being present.
Suhyung handed over the car keys and asked Inhan.
“Why? Tired?”
“Yes. I want to get some sleep.”
“Alright. Go down and wait. Yuho, do you want to go rest too?”
“No. I’ll wait for the members.”
“Okay. Then let’s stay here together.”
Yuho took a seat next to Suhyung. Inhan, who was staring at Yuho, turned away with a light sigh.
Even after arriving at the car, Inhan couldn’t fall asleep.
* * *
“That’s why I told you to shower first.”
Taylor said, looking at Inhan who was dozing off sitting on the bed in the dorm room. Inhan’s face, back at the dorm after a week, looked even more gaunt than before. Taylor asked Inhan with concern.
“Have you been getting any sleep lately?”
“When I feel sleepy.”
The answer was ambiguous. It wasn’t like Inhan, who would usually fall asleep as soon as his head touched any surface. With fatigue caked all over his face, Inhan lay down on the bed as if collapsing.
“I think I’ll just sleep without showering.”
“Go ahead.”
Despite saying that, Inhan was blinking his eyes and staring into space. Taylor, feeling sorry for Inhan, nagged him affectionately.
“Tell the company to reduce your schedules. How can you not rest for even a day?”
“Just a little longer.”
“Why? To earn money for your hyungs?”
Until the third year, individual schedules were divided by the number of members for settlement, but at Inhan’s request, from the fourth year, they were scheduled to change to individual settlements.
From the perspective of Inhan or Yeomin, who had overwhelmingly more individual schedules and revenue, it was a natural demand, so no member had any complaints about that decision.
But Inhan was feeling excessively guilty and overworking himself.
