The captain crouched down in front of Luka once more. It was a small act of consideration — bringing himself to eye level — but what showed through that consideration was a deep, relentless affection.
“Haa, huu….”
“You’re doing well — even slower….”
“Huu, hh….”
“That’s it. Just like that.”
His golden eyes were full of worry. He had brought Luka all the way to the captain’s quarters hoping to give him some peace — yet Luka’s pain showed no sign of easing.
He thought for a moment, and then chose to take a step back.
“Luka, today has been hard on you in so many ways, and pushing through stress like this is only going to make your body worse. I’ll tell you the rest of the story another time.”
Still swallowing down her ragged, rasping breaths, Luka grabbed hold of the captain.
“…Haa — you said you’d tell me. Why you and I are both ‘Luka.'”
“I want to. But your color isn’t getting any better.”
He reached out and rubbed the corners of Luka’s eyes, still wet with tears. His small body — already struggling with the idea of prosthetics — was crying out with every part of itself that it had no room to take in a larger truth. Pressing for answers could cause more harm than good.
“I have no intention of hiding it. I’ll tell you whenever you want — I promise. But right now, I’d rather you took care of your own body. What do you say — hear it after you’ve gotten a little healthier?”
The captain was right. Honestly, it was too much.
The man who had always seemed so easygoing and unhurried — it turned out he was a displaced person just like Luka, someone who had lost his home. More than that: the last survivor of Earth, a planet that had been destroyed over five hundred years ago. The man in front of him was a being more than five hundred years old.
Then why, instead of burning with fury toward Aegis and dreaming of revenge, had he chosen to simply sail through the universe like this? And what connection did he have to Luka, that he would go this far for him?
There was too much he couldn’t understand. Questions filled his mind to the brim — but the captain was right, and for now, steadying his body had to come first.
“Alright….”
At the easy answer, the captain finally smiled. He gently gathered Luka into his arms and asked:
“Do you still think I brought you here to use you?”
“…….”
“If I needed a mechanical soldier, I would have chosen someone else — someone with a bigger build, more capable in combat, someone willing to give their life fighting Aegis. Not you.”
“…….”
“I don’t want anything from you. I just want you to be healthy and happy, and by my side. Is that using you too?”
Luka glanced at him. The hyperventilation that had been seizing him settled quietly inside his embrace. Luka’s unconscious mind recognized the captain as a place of safety. That alone was enough to give the captain a small, quiet satisfaction.
“Don’t push me away, Luka. When you do, it feels like the world itself is rejecting me.”
With a soft press of his lips to Luka’s forehead, the captain looked out past the glass that filled an entire wall — out into the universe beyond.
“In about two months, we’ll be arriving at the tenth Terra-type planet. We can meet new people there, have some fresh conversations — change of scenery. What do you think?”
The tenth planet. The thought of a planet inhabited by humans who, just like him, had their roots in Earth — it was strange and wondrous. Honestly, frightening too, but with the captain beside him, it felt like there was no reason to be afraid before they’d even arrived. Luka let the tension leave his body and replied:
“…I’ll try to get used to the prosthetics too.”
“No — don’t force yourself.”
“I want to walk on my own two feet on the new planet.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry. For not being able to go through with the surgery properly.”
“…….”
“So promise me you’ll give me a proper answer later. Until then, I’ll trust you….”
Without a word, the captain gently patted the exhausted body in his arms. Luka quietly steadied his breathing. There was so much he wanted to know and so much he had to do — but as the captain said, there was no need to force himself to take everything in at once.
For now, he wanted to work through things one by one, starting with what he could manage. It would be slow — but if he tackled things piece by piece, the results would be better for it.
Luka looked out at the universe from within the captain’s arms for a long, long time. There were moments when that endless darkness felt like a meaningless death. But not now. Just as the tiny glimmering dust in that darkness was, in truth, a beautiful planet — he had decided not to let even the smallest hope slip through his hands.
Accepting the prosthetics.
That was the first step toward hope.
Once all the tension drained out of him, Luka grew drowsy like a young animal, helpless against it. He kept nodding off, startling awake and straightening his head — only to find his eyelids growing heavy again, too heavy to resist. Perhaps it had something to do with the atmosphere of the captain’s quarters feeling so entirely different from the treatment room he’d spent the past month in.
It was quiet here. Warm. There was no steady mechanical beeping of medical equipment. Instead of the sharp, cold smell of disinfectant, a soft juniper fragrance drifted through the air, wrapping gently around his heart.
Here, at least, he was not a patient being observed every single moment. That fact alone was enough for Luka to let his guard down and sink deep into the sofa.
Shh, shh.
Only once the captain confirmed that Luka’s breathing had steadied did he allow himself to really look at the sleeping face before him. The expression that had been twisted with shock at the sight of the prosthetics — and with the betrayal of being expected to have them attached to his body — had eased into something peaceful. Only that characteristic, unguarded quality remained.
To think this face belongs to an adult….
Was it that he’d been born looking young, or was he lying about his age? The truth remained unclear — and in the face of it, the captain let out a quiet, wry smile.
He reached out and gently brushed the disheveled black hair aside to get a better look at Luka’s face.
He looked gentle and blameless — like a face that had never once done anything wrong in its life. If the shadow of exhaustion from carrying the weight of his own life were lifted, he would be able to smile so much more brightly.
If Luka had heard these thoughts, he would have burst out with full-body revulsion:
“That’s disgusting, what are you on about! I’m not pure, and I’m not good! I’ve made a living taking people’s lives! That was exactly what I was going to keep doing as a special temple knight…!”
But even hearing that truth, the captain’s feelings would not have changed. He was the kind of person who, no matter how much Luka insisted he had lived selfishly, would say — “That’s the world being wrong, not you.”
“…Luka.”
His golden eyes, lost in thought, watched Luka for a long, long time. His hand lingered near Luka’s cheek, unable to withdraw — like a sentinel standing guard over something fragile and miraculous.
Severed legs or shattered arms — none of that mattered to him. All that mattered was that here, in the still heart of this quiet universe, a being with a clear and pure soul was breathing peacefully.
He pressed his lips to Luka’s forehead — very briefly, like bestowing a blessing. Even Luka, who was so acutely sensitive to anything touching his body, did not wake at the kiss.
It was proof that he trusted the captain more than anyone. And it meant, too, that after so many kisses already — to the forehead, to the back of the hand — he had simply grown used to it.
But the second blessing was aimed neither at the forehead nor the back of the hand. It was aimed at his lips. The captain hesitated for just a moment — then, after confirming the even rhythm of his breathing and the calm steady beat of his heart, he followed through with his original intention and pressed his lips to Luka’s.
A soft sound.
The small sound of contact scattered into the air almost immediately. And yet the captain’s lips, barely grazing Luka’s, did not pull away.
They were trembling. The joy he could not conceal gasped and dissolved within that trembling.
“Luka — the truth you want to hear is just one thing. That you are everything to me.”
From within the tenderness, something thick and deep seeped out.
“If I could, I would lock the door to this captain’s quarters and stay trapped in this space with you forever. Whether or not you ever get the prosthetics — it wouldn’t matter.”
If Luka’s small body failed to manage even daily life on its own, leaving him with no choice but to depend entirely on him — even that would be an immense happiness. But because it wasn’t what Luka wanted, he wanted to get the prosthetics attached to him, no matter what.
Luka needed to walk on two legs, needed to hold a sword in both hands, to be happy. And for that happiness — for Luka’s happiness — he could keep this thick, clinging feeling of his buried deep where no one would ever find it.
“By the time you’re able to understand my heart, you’ll know all the secrets you’ve been wondering about too. So I won’t rush. Waiting — that’s the one thing I’m more confident in than anything else.”
The gentle voice clung to his lips with a slight edge.
“I’ve been waiting for more than decades. If you knew the length of this waiting — would you be frightened? Would you cry and push me away the way you did earlier?”
He hoped not. If he ever had to watch Luka look at him with contempt and reject him — he couldn’t be certain what he would do in that moment, how he might lose control.
“Mmn….”
Luka’s eyelids drifted slowly open. Caught in the act, lips still touching, the captain froze — breath held completely still. Luka, who he had expected to shove him away violently, only blinked at him with hazy, unfocused eyes — and then fell back asleep.
Shh, shh.
At the return of that steady breathing, the captain’s lips trembled faintly. Had Luka taken it for a dream? Or did it mean that a kiss from him was something Luka could accept?
The captain was trembling — nearly shaking — with the joy that had flooded through him and had nowhere to go. That trembling coiled tight in his lower abdomen.
“Mm….”
Even as he swallowed down a quiet sound, his golden eyes showed not the slightest sign of pulling away from Luka. Beneath the neat uniform, something vast and present was swelling — but he gave no outward sign of it.
He was good at restraining himself. He could hold back, as he always had. As he always had.
