Chapter 5
It was love.
He had grown accustomed to other emotions—so much so that such feelings came naturally to him. But the feeling of loving someone was something he couldn’t fake.
This emotion should have been erased along with all the others. So why couldn’t he understand it?
Even after all this time, he still didn’t.
Because he couldn’t understand it, he was incapable of loving anyone.
He couldn’t love Kay. He didn’t have the kind of love Kay wanted from him.
He’d tried to manufacture feelings before. He thought that if he loved someone who already liked him, something might change.
But no matter how hard he tried, all he felt was interest. Curiosity about where this unpredictable situation would lead.
Even though these emotions were clearly directed at him, to him they looked like scenes from a movie.
That affection never reached him.
“Boss, can I give you some advice?”
Alex, who had been lost in thought, spoke up. Boss, who had been looking down, turned his gaze toward him.
Alex wasn’t sure if he should say this. But he felt he had to.
“Advice is always welcome.”
It was a warning not to overstep. Was this advice? Or a wish?
After hesitating, Alex finally opened his lips.
“I hope you won’t come to regret this.”
The word “regret” didn’t suit him as he was now.
“From what I can see, I think you’re definitely going to regret it.”
But somehow, Alex believed Boss would regret it. Regret treating Kay’s feelings as mere entertainment.
Boss had always been this way—incapable of feeling love. Yet Alex couldn’t shake the thought.
Boss’s eyes, which had been downcast, slowly widened. He hadn’t expected to hear that.
“…Regret.”
Something he hadn’t experienced since that time.
Though he claimed to feel nothing now, he remembered that back then, the pain had been so unbearable he’d wanted to die.
But it was an emotion he couldn’t possibly feel anymore. Because the person dear to him no longer existed.
Yet Alex had told him he would regret it. After thinking for a moment, he smiled.
“That would be interesting too.”
Experiencing regret again wouldn’t be so bad. After all, unfamiliar emotions tended to provide pleasant amusement.
In this fleeting life.
His eyes crinkled as if he genuinely relished the thought.
***
I stared at the corridor where Fenil had disappeared. Though she was long gone, it felt as if the words she’d left behind still lingered in the air. For a long time, I turned over the meaning of those words in my mind. What did she mean by “king”? What was I misunderstanding?
But despite the endless stream of thoughts, I couldn’t figure anything out. My mind felt numb, waterlogged.
Fenil doesn’t speak unnecessarily. That means there’s something I’m missing…
But I couldn’t grasp it. It was like my thoughts were shrouded in fog. Lost in aimless contemplation, I could only raise questions without answers.
Creeeeak—
At the sound of a door opening, I reflexively turned around. Alex appeared as he pushed the door open.
But the atmosphere around him was different now. His eyes, which always shone like a clear lake, had sunk low like the deep sea.
“Did something happen?”
I asked cautiously. This wasn’t like Alex. He was always smiling.
“Ah…”
Alex’s gaze fell on me. Sympathy and guilt rippled in his eyes. A small, wavering tide washed over me. Why was Alex looking at me like that?
In the midst of that question, Alex gently raised his hand. His hand came to rest on top of my head. It was a light touch, like a soft breeze.
“I hope you win.”
I looked at Alex quietly, unable to understand. A faint smile hung on his lips.
“What—”
I started to question him the moment his hand lifted, trying to understand why he’d said such a thing. But Alex simply withdrew his hand and walked past me.
As if that was all he could say.
I couldn’t understand his intentions at all. I watched Alex’s retreating figure as it gradually faded away.
What had he been thinking when he said those words? Both Fenil and Alex were full of incomprehensible things today. More and more questions piled up in my head. But I couldn’t find answers to any of them.
“May I come in?”
I finally gave up thinking. Rather than trying to solve unsolvable questions, it was better to focus on what I needed to do.
I knocked carefully on the heavy door.
“Come in.”
After a moment of silence, his voice came through. A gentle, soft voice that made my heart flutter just hearing it.
Sometimes I wondered if all my emotions had been created just for him.
My emotions moved according to Boss’s will to that extent. With a single word from him, my heart felt like it would stop. With another, I would smile.
Though they were my emotions, sometimes I resented them. How could they be so foolish?
I should be tired of this by now, but I couldn’t erase these feelings—as if there was no exit.
A bitter smile formed on my lips. Hoping when I knew there was no hope.
I gathered strength in my body, which had gone limp. Taking a slow breath, I focused. There was nothing to gain by entering in this state.
I couldn’t let my guard down. Hadn’t I experienced this countless times over the past ten years?
The moment I let my guard down, everything would come crashing back. I shook off all the thoughts clinging to me.
“I’m coming in.”
I opened the door without releasing my tension. Warm light gradually began to envelop my body behind the faint sound.
I took one step inside.
And in that moment—
Bang—
With the crack of a gunshot, bullets came flying toward me.
The instant I saw them, I activated my ability. Since I’d somewhat anticipated this, I was able to react quickly.
As the werewolf ability took root in my body, my dynamic vision sharpened instantly. I could see the trajectory of the incoming bullets at a glance. I read those paths and dodged them by a hair’s breadth.
The bullet that approached me grazed my cheek and embedded itself in the door.
Looking at the wooden splinters that fell with a crackling sound, I wiped away the blood running down my cheek.
I thought that might be it for today. But then…
“…Ngh!”
As if mocking me, countless shards of pottery came flying at me. I barely avoided the fragments approaching at bullet-like speed, but beyond them were only more fragments.
Unlike bullets, it was impossible to dodge fragments that moved so erratically.
The moment I exposed myself, countless shards embedded themselves in me. I fell to my knees from the sharp pain tearing through my skin and piercing deeper.
Fortunately, the shards had only embedded themselves in my back. Others might not consider this fortunate, but my past life had taught me to see it that way.
This was something I always experienced. I’d gotten caught this time because the method was different from usual.
Normally, Boss would attack once with a surprise strike, but today he’d not only fired a gun but also used his ability.
Why? Boss’s shoes came into view as I barely managed to look at the carpet below.
“You can dodge bullets easily now.”
Boss’s shadow instantly devoured the light that had been reaching me. His languid voice came from above.
A voice that was relaxed yet commanding. If there were kings in this era, wouldn’t they speak just like this?
I clenched my fists and put strength into my legs. It hurt, but it wasn’t something I couldn’t stand up from. As willpower settled into my trembling legs, the shaking gradually subsided.
After several attempts, I slowly stood up.
“But guns are mere toys.”
However, as if to block my actions, Boss’s words pierced down once more.
I could sense it instinctively.
“Compared to abilities.”
This wasn’t over yet.
With that thought, gravity was applied to the fragments embedded in my body.
“Urgh…”
The gravity exerted force on the shards. They twisted inside my body and drove even deeper. My legs, which had tried to straighten, buckled pathetically.
For a moment, pain so intense I forgot how to breathe washed over me. My vision blurred and cleared repeatedly.
I could feel my back getting wet. I didn’t need to look to know it was blood.
The bright red blood seeping from my back slowly began to drip down. Like a red rose blooming on the beige carpet, the crimson blood vividly stained the floor.
I never got used to seeing my own blood.
“Don’t forget this pain.”
Boss’s gaze, which I felt on the back of my head, momentarily shifted away, and once again his words fell.
I gritted my teeth, enduring the pain I desperately wanted to rip out. It felt like my blood was boiling throughout my body.
I could feel my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fists. Normally, I would have felt a dull ache, but right now, this wasn’t even pain by comparison.
“Kay, how do you feel right now?”
I reflexively tried to respond to the emotionless voice. But the words caught in my throat and refused to come out.
Clearing my cracked throat, I parted my lips. After several attempts, words finally emerged.
“It… hurts.”
My voice was rough, as if filled with sand. I’d only spoken. But my body couldn’t accept even that naturally.
The pain enveloping my entire body swelled larger. Terrible agony consumed me. I desperately wanted to pass out.
“Then this will make it hurt even more.”
But Boss seemed unsatisfied. The fragments that had been pulled out embedded themselves once again.
