Munyeong wiped the corner of his mouth with a trembling hand. Battered by one humiliation after another, he felt his vision go white as he forced his voice down and forced the words out with great difficulty.
“…I… I don’t need any compensation.”
“…What do you think you’re doing.”
Leaving behind a flustered Haejeong — who had never seen this side of him before — Munyeong pushed the envelope that had been extended to him back in front of Rep. Chu. Haejeong urgently grabbed the wrist of the hand pushing the envelope forward, but Munyeong clenched his fist and held back the spasm in his hand. Then, with his other hand gripping the back of Haejeong’s hand, he slowly, as calmly as he could, pushed it away.
At that desperate touch, Haejeong’s hand — unable to hold firm — gradually fell away. His dazed face stared blankly at Munyeong, but Munyeong reached down with rigid, stiffened hands and picked up the misugaru pouch that had fallen to the floor. The bottom had torn and it was spilling everywhere. All of a sudden, the weight of this situation — driven to its absolute worst — made him feel like he might cry. The corners of his eyes burned hot, and his throat closed up, heavy and dry.
“……I… did like Haejeong… but…… I’m not asking for anything more than that.”
He could feel Rep. Chu’s gaze, veins rising with fury. Just a moment ago, these were words he should have said long before — words he hadn’t been able to get out because Haejeong had walked in.
“…I, I didn’t want it to come to this…… I’m sorry.”
Munyeong’s eyes wavered as he bowed again.
“Leaving the house…… I’ll do that. ……But, as you know, I owe Haejeong a debt.”
“…….”
“If you could arrange another way for me to repay the money…… I’ll follow it without complaint.”
His chest heaved heavily as he forced the words out with great difficulty, and both Rep. Chu and Haejeong fell silent. Munyeong unconsciously steadied the breath rising in him, and continued speaking the way he always did — calmly, with composure.
“I’m sorry.”
He apologized once more, quietly and with respect, then left ahead of them. Clutching the misugaru pouch that was leaking like sand, he made his way out quickly. He felt Haejeong’s hand reach out to stop him, but he didn’t look back. He held the pouch growing smaller by the second in his arms, pitifully trying to keep it together. There was no stopping it. His mind grew hazy. His head was so muddled he couldn’t even tell right from wrong. He couldn’t breathe, and the confusion made him want to run away. To the point where everything made him sick to his stomach.
**
“Wait—!”
An urgent call rang out from behind him, but Munyeong didn’t stop walking.
“…Just a moment, Im Munyeong!”
Still walking ahead with nothing left but an empty, dangling pouch, Munyeong was quickly caught up to. Haejeong blocked his path, catching his breath in ragged gasps, and suddenly shouted.
“How could you just leave like that!”
Watching him walk away as if he were leaving forever, Haejeong felt his heart drop. The look in his eyes — one Haejeong had never seen before, a coldness he’d never witnessed — made him instantly anxious. Everything about this situation was more than enough to drive Haejeong into a spiral of dread. The full story behind the accident he’d only just learned, the confrontation with Rep. Chu, and his own impulsive kiss. All of it together felt like more than enough reason for Munyeong to hate him. More than enough — it overflowed.
“…….”
Munyeong looked at him in silence. Then, in a composed voice, he spoke.
“…Move.”
He wasn’t angry, but his tone left no room for argument. Haejeong darted his eyes around and shook his head.
“No. Ha…. I know. I know this whole situation is fucked up.”
“…….”
“I know I just screwed up too……, so just talk to me…. talk to me.”
Haejeong rattled off excuses as though clinging to him. He scrambled for any reason to keep him there.
“What did my mom say to you this time?”
“…….”
“…That’s just how she is. Even if it weren’t you, whoever her son ended up with, she’d say the same things.”
He kept rambling, watching Munyeong anxiously, getting not a single reaction in return.
“You know what she’s like. She’s the kind of person who’d even go after her own son. So—”
“…I completely understand how she feels.”
“…What?”
“……It doesn’t make sense, does it.”
“…….”
“You and me… we’re just too different.”
“What the hell are you going on about now?”
“…These are things you said.”
“I know. I know, damn it…. That’s why I’m standing here like this!”
Haejeong snapped back, the words coming out all wrong, turned around on himself. This was a first for Haejeong’s life. The frantic desperation that was driving him out of his mind, the anxiety that was making him lose it — it was all so new to him it left him reeling.
They were in the middle of Seoul, and people passing by had started glancing over one by one. Munyeong, watching Haejeong grow increasingly agitated, turned his body to try and pass by his side. Haejeong didn’t miss the moment, seizing his wrist roughly.
“Ugh.”
At the small sound of pain, Haejeong realized he’d grabbed the right wrist, and dropped his hand in a hurry.
“…Are you okay?”
His genuinely startled eyes trembled with honesty. Munyeong hid his wrist behind his back as though a vulnerability had been exposed, and gave a small nod.
“……I’m fine.”
“Ha…… what’s always so fine about everything.”
“…….”
“Why won’t you say anything.”
“…….”
“You might as well have just taken the compensation from me!”
Everything was a mess. It was his first time feeling this sorry toward anyone — that alone was enough to make him angry, to make him feel like he’d lose his mind from frustration, and the ache in his chest made it impossible to even get properly angry. Just a few hours ago it had been a perfectly good morning. He’d pushed aside all the complicated thoughts, made up his mind, and had reserved the most expensive, most romantic restaurant in Seoul. Even using his position to do it.
This was also the first time someone had driven him this insane in such a short span of time. Everything was a first. The first time he’d been able to hold a man, the first time someone had thrown him into confusion, the first time someone had made him this frantic, the first time he’d felt this sorry, and so many other countless firsts — they were all firsts.
“……This is the first time I’ve been such a complete idiot.”
Haejeong groaned, pressing his hand over his face in anguish. The image of Munyeong — flushed red just a short while ago, veins standing out on his forehead, desperately holding back the pain — suddenly surfaced in his mind. He had looked so tormented, so agonized, that Haejeong had been so startled he’d briefly forgotten to breathe. Startled and shaken to the core. Even more so upon learning that he’d been carrying that condition for over ten years.
And to find out that he himself was the cause of it.
He had heard it from the officer who handled the case. A boy around the same age had barely managed to stop it. Even beaten half to death, he hadn’t let go. The boy had been so badly beaten that the officer couldn’t even remember his face. His real face had been unrecognizable beneath the swelling and wounds. Only then could Haejeong understand why, for over a decade, that scent had tormented him. Just barely. From the very edge of his memory, from a faint, forgotten fragment he’d managed to feel it. The scent of someone desperately shielding him. Instinctively, faintly, barely.
Damn it…… Haejeong muttered a curse like a sigh and pressed his hand to his face. The only things that flashed rapidly through his mind were the terrible things he’d done — all of it beginning from that memory. And then the image of Munyeong came to him — enduring alone, every day, alone in the classroom. Even when bullied, even when humiliated, taking it all in as though it were simply his own burden to bear alone. That image buried itself in Haejeong’s chest and refused to let go. Haejeong had deliberately looked away from that Munyeong, time and time again — he had ignored him, and denied him. The guy who had shielded him while being beaten to a pulp. And he…….
“Ha…….”
Haejeong pressed down on the corners of his eyes. Something burning washed over them. Deep remorse, and a sigh, and a complex tangle of emotions that couldn’t be named surged through him all at once. Heat climbed up his throat. A sob welled up and his voice wouldn’t come out.
Munyeong’s composed eyes slowly began to waver.
“Ugh…….”
In the middle of the street, in front of countless people. Haejeong was swallowing back tears. He covered the area around his eyes with a large hand, but the sunlight beating down reflected off them and made the tears pooling at the corners of his eyes stand out all the more clearly.
