Luka spoke up with careful hesitation.
“Can I… ask you for just one thing?”
At those words, the Captain’s eyes went wide. His hand — in the middle of placing a thornless rose into the vase — froze like a stopped machine. Suppressing the urge to cry out anything you want! right then and there, he looked at Luka with earnest golden eyes.
“A favor? What kind?”
Luka fidgeted with nothing but the bed sheet before finally speaking, his voice barely above a whisper.
“…I want to wear something other than the patient gown.”
The loose sleeves over his severed shoulder and the area near his thighs flapped limply with every movement. That sight was a constant reminder — every single moment — that he was someone incomplete.
“…This is too big and keeps slipping. It looks awful.”
As Luka pulled the sheet up and curled inward, the Captain didn’t miss the anxious look in his eyes.
“Understood. I’ll bring something that fits you perfectly. Just wait a little.”
A few days later, the Captain came in slightly later than usual in the evening, a wrapped box in hand.
“Luka, look at this. I went and got you a little gift.”
“A gift…?”
“Yeah — want to open it?”
Luka carefully opened the box he’d been handed. Inside was a deep navy garment. It was made of nano-velvet — a far denser and sturdier weave than ordinary cotton. A high-grade piece of clothing specially crafted to maintain body temperature during space travel. But its shape was unusual.
“What is this…? Is this a dog’s outfit?”
“Hmm — I had it altered a bit so you could wear it.”
“…My clothes?”
“If you don’t like it, that’s fine, nothing I can do…”
The Captain carefully watched Luka’s expression. He’d been hoping for a bright smile at receiving the gift, and finding the other person only frowning, he seemed thrown off himself.
…The shape was so unfamiliar I didn’t even recognize it as mine. So this is the kind of shape I have to wear now.
Looking more carefully, the ends were neatly finished at the points where each arm and leg’s cross-section ended. Special elastic bands had been sewn in to gently wrap around the severed areas without putting pressure on them. And above all, there was a satisfying thickness to it that felt like it would properly support Luka’s thin body.
“Want to try it on? I got Obel’s permission before bringing it. It’ll be much warmer than the patient gown.”
Luka turned the garment over in his hands for a long while. He was grateful that the moment he’d mentioned the patient gown looking awful, the Captain had come right back with something — but realizing that the clothes had to be altered this small, to fit a body that had changed this much, left him with a quiet grief. Even so, he couldn’t keep refusing his own body and pretending it had nothing to do with him forever.
“…Okay.”
At Luka’s careful answer, the Captain let out a quiet breath of relief.
“I’ll help you sit up. Should I hold you?”
“……”
No answer came from Luka. But reading his feelings from his expression alone, the Captain carefully helped support his body. Pop, pop — he undid the buttons of the patient gown, and the thin body beneath was revealed.
What had once been smooth and firm skin — the way it might have looked on any other boy his age — now showed scarred tissue that looked as though flesh had been forcibly stitched back together, and pale veins standing prominent beneath the surface. Most of all, what ached the Captain’s chest was the asymmetry the body’s silhouette had become.
The right shoulder had lost the rounded shape of its joint and ended in a smooth, clean line. Where a long, lean thigh should have continued below the hip, only a short cross-section remained.
“…Don’t look.”
Luka breathed the words like a groan, his one remaining left arm trying to cover his chest. The tips of his bandaged fingers trembled faintly. The exposed collarbone jutted angular beneath the surface, shivering every time the Captain’s gaze landed on it. Letting someone see his loss this nakedly was a humiliation worse than dying.
“It’s hideous. It’s all been cut away, and there’s nothing but bone left…”
Rather than answering, the Captain bent his knees to bring himself level with Luka’s eyes. He laid his own hand over Luka’s trembling left hand. Against the large, solid back of the Captain’s hand, Luka’s felt as though it might crumble at any moment.
“You’re not hideous, Luka. You survived.”
With his other hand, he very carefully ran his fingers along the protruding knobs of Luka’s spine.
“You’re just a little thin. From now on I’m going to feed you so much good food you’ll fill right out, so don’t worry.”
“…Liar. What’s the point of putting on weight when I don’t even have arms or legs.”
“When you put on weight, you can build muscle.”
“……”
“Muscle will give you a wider range of movement than you have now. And I brought clothes that make moving comfortable so that can happen.”
Luka’s expression was still stiff. It felt as though the medical AI would sound off again at any moment — Warning: patient anxiety levels are rising. If he couldn’t soothe that anxiety, the plea of kill me — which had been quiet for some time — might start up again.
Not wanting to give it even a moment to resurface, the Captain quickly slipped the nano-velvet garment over Luka’s head. The moment the soft inner lining touched the areas that had been chafed raw by the rough patient gown, Luka’s shoulders gave a startled tremor. The Captain straightened the fit of his clothes.
“How is it — anything uncomfortable?”
In place of the flapping loose sleeves, the clean fall of fabric fitted precisely to Luka’s body gave a strange sense of stability. Luka hesitated, then gave an honest verdict.
“…It’s comfortable.”
“If anything feels off at all, tell me. I’ll have it altered again.”
“…But this looks expensive. Where did you even get something like this?”
“You don’t want to know. If our Vice Captain found out I ransacked the storage room looking for this, she might actually take my head.”
The Captain made a playful gesture of slashing his own throat — and Luka let out a tiny, surprised laugh.
“That’s ridiculous. You’re the Captain, and you’re tiptoeing around the Vice Captain.”
Oh. He laughed.
The Captain forgot to blink, and simply stared at Luka’s face. The face that had looked so haggard — almost mournful — softened gently, and looked so beautiful.
His features were already beautiful, fine and delicate as they were. When he smiled, those features curved into gentle lines, and even the sharp edge of his wariness seemed to fall away.
His laughing voice sounds lovely too.
He wanted him to laugh more often. He’d do anything, if it meant Luka could laugh.
The Captain swallowed quietly. If he let this desire show, Luka would take a step back and retreat. Slowly, without rushing — he needed to close the distance little by little. After growing close enough that being by Luka’s side felt natural. Then he could share his secrets.
Pushing down his restless heart, the Captain kept his voice at its usual tone.
“It means that much to me for you to like this outfit. So — how is it?”
Luka turned over the end of the new garment’s sleeve. He was satisfied that the fabric no longer fluttered uselessly in the air.
“…Not bad. Mm — no, it’s a hundred times better than the patient gown.”
Luka grumbled and burrowed under the covers. In that moment, the Captain caught a glimpse of the faint flush of warmth in those cheeks. Unable to just watch any longer, he carefully reached out a hand.
Softly. He stroked the silky hair, and Luka peeked out from beneath the covers with just his eyes and looked up at the Captain. The fact that he didn’t sharply bat the hand away was more than enough to make the Captain quietly proud.
Little by little, naturally — he was hoping once more that Luka would open that space beside him. And just then, Obel, passing outside the door with a chart in hand, stopped walking.
The scene visible through the open gap was something else. The great Captain of this enormous Nautilus, desperate just to be near a boy who could barely eat.
Knock knock.
Obel rapped the open door lightly with the back of his hand and spoke to the Captain, who had turned to look.
“Captain — isn’t that the most expensive functional suit in our ship’s reserve supplies? And you just went and cut it all up like that. If Ivelynsia finds out, there really will be a war.”
Even at Obel’s scolding, the Captain turned straight back toward Luka without missing a beat. He pressed his hand to Luka’s forehead and replied.
“We’re always at war with something anyway, so it doesn’t matter. Luka not being in pain is more important.”
Obel let out a disbelieving laugh.
“Need anything?”
“No.”
“Should I just go then?”
“Go.”
At the Captain’s response without so much as a crack of room left, Obel smiled to himself — amused about something — and disappeared back into the corridor. Now that Luka understood how precious a thing the Captain had given him, his face was full of embarrassment.
“I didn’t mean for you to give me something this valuable.”
“I gave it because I wanted to. Don’t worry about it.”
“……”
“Is there anything else you need? You can ask me anytime.”
He’d just said the same thing as Obel a moment ago. Having told Obel he needed nothing, he was desperate to do anything more for Luka.
Luka fidgeted with the covers for a moment, then disappeared beneath them.
“…Nothing.”
Ah, I got a little too close — he’s put up a wall again, judging by that.
The Captain clicked his tongue with a touch of disappointment — and then smiled at the shape of the covers puffed up like a round hill.
“Then rest, Luka.”
“……”
“I’ll come again tomorrow.”
He said nothing until the Captain left — but from the next day onward, Luka’s manner changed noticeably. Haltingly at first, he began to treat the Captain with a little more warmth.
“The cedarwood oil… could you bring more? The smell is really good.”
“Of course — I’ll keep topping it up before the scent fades.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing — any time you want something, just say the word.”
Like a friend. Or sometimes like the one and only guardian he could trust and lean on. The despair and gloom and pain that had shadowed Luka’s face were quietly, gradually giving way to a smile that spread like sunlight breaking through clouds.
