“I can’t drive.”
He said it and squeezed his eyes shut. Then Kang Jihyeok’s voice came from above him.
“So?”
“What should I do?”
Yeonwoo couldn’t bring himself to meet Kang Jihyeok’s gaze. He’s going to scold me. He’s going to ask what I’ve been doing all this time without even learning that. Just imagining the look in Jihyeok’s eyes — the warmth draining out of them, replaced by irritation — made his chest sting.
“Why would you drive when I’m right here?”
Hm? Yeonwoo snapped his head up. And he found himself looking into Kang Jihyeok’s face, wearing an expression that said he genuinely couldn’t understand what the fuss was about.
“You don’t have to do things like that yet, little one.”
I’ll handle it. Understood? The gentle words that followed were as sweet as a dream.
Am I dreaming?
If this was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.
“R-Really?”
The corners of Kang Jihyeok’s eyes curved softly. It was an expression that could have meant he’d heard a funny joke, or equally that he’d heard the most absurd thing imaginable. The one thing that was clear was that he wasn’t angry about Yeonwoo not being able to drive.
Since this was a reaction he hadn’t anticipated at all, Yeonwoo could only open and close his lips wordlessly.
“Little one, do you want to drive? Want to learn?”
“N-No.”
Yeonwoo quickly added. He was worried Jihyeok might misunderstand and think he was sulking about wanting to learn to drive. That wasn’t what he’d meant at all. He’d only brought it up to be of service to him. Yeonwoo opened his mouth, his voice coming out a little unsteady.
“I thought I was the one who was supposed to drive….”
“I don’t think I’m old enough to be chauffeured around by my little one.”
One hurdle cleared, another appeared. That wasn’t what he’d meant at all. Of course he’d said it because he thought he should be the one driving — not because Jihyeok was getting old, never that. Yeonwoo shifted his feet in distress. Kang Jihyeok seemed to have completely misunderstood.
“That’s not what I meant… I’m serious. Please believe me. It’s not about respecting the elderly or anything like that!”
He quickly added the words, just in case Jihyeok might take it the wrong way. He wanted Jihyeok to understand that he hadn’t meant it like that at all. The words were right up to his throat, but he couldn’t get them out easily. He had so much he wanted to say that he was afraid it would all come tumbling out in a jumbled mess.
What excuse could he give? No — it wasn’t an excuse to begin with. It was a worry that had come from the heart. Without a single doubt, he had simply assumed that he was the one who ought to drive.
“I really do mean it.”
“Is that so?”
Thankfully, Kang Jihyeok nodded without any fuss — as if to say, well, if it was a misunderstanding, then so be it. The heart that had been hammering anxiously found its rhythm again. Yeonwoo nodded so deeply his head nearly dropped off. If he’d been even a moment late to nod, he was sure Jihyeok would have sharpened his gaze at him. As if nodding alone wasn’t enough, Yeonwoo carefully opened his mouth.
“I really do. I really just thought I was the one who should be doing it….”
“Why did you think you should be the one doing it?”
“Oh, uh…. Because it’s only natural?”
It had seemed like such an obvious thing that he couldn’t help but answer this way. If Jihyeok asked him to go into more detail, he could lay it all out at length — but he had a feeling Jihyeok wouldn’t want that.
“I’m only telling you this because you worry too much, little one.”
“…Yes.”
“Driving is something adults do.”
But I’m an adult too, I’m of age — he swallowed those words back down. Jihyeok was twelve years older than him, so strictly speaking, Kang Jihyeok was the more adult of the two.
“When you get your license, you can give me the first ride. Alright?”
Yeonwoo’s face brightened considerably. At least he wasn’t saying it was absolutely forbidden. Small mercies. He made a plan — get his driver’s license as fast as possible and take Kang Jihyeok for a ride.
“For today, ride in my car.”
“Yes.”
The plan of attending to him while driving had fallen to pieces, so now he had to make sure he performed his duties perfectly during the meal instead.
I can do this!
He’d already told himself this several times, but Yeonwoo declared it one more time with firm resolve in his heart.
Let’s go, let’s go!
A flawless mealtime attendance. Standing by Jihyeok’s side, grilling the meat, and placing the nicely browned pieces onto his plate. Meat alone might get stuck in his throat, so he’d fill his glass with water in between, and ladle side dishes for him too. And he mustn’t forget to order warm rice as well.
Having built the perfect plan in his head, Yeonwoo let the corner of his mouth curl upward. Kang Jihyeok was watching him intently, but Yeonwoo was too absorbed in planning to notice at all.
That’s a seriously expensive car.
Kang Jihyeok’s car was a model Yeonwoo knew well. Cha Jeongsik had talked about wanting to buy one until he was blue in the face. Because Jeongsik had taken all his frustration over wanting a car he couldn’t have out on Yeonwoo, he remembered it vividly.
Since I can’t buy the car, you’ll have to take the beating instead.
Wouldn’t it be great if I could buy that car by beating you? Don’t you think?
Looking at that car now, he had the strange sensation that wounds he’d thought were long healed were throbbing and aching again. Yeonwoo quickly averted his eyes from the car. He’d tried to open the driver’s side door, but Jihyeok was faster — opening the passenger side door instead.
“Get in.”
“Yes.”
Yeonwoo climbed in awkwardly and blinked his wide eyes around. Being left alone with Kang Jihyeok in an enclosed space made him a little nervous. To try to shake off the tension, he clasped both hands together in his lap — a sight that anyone would have recognized as someone absolutely terrified. Kang Jihyeok looked at him at a leisurely pace. He’s not even doing anything threatening, and he’s this tense. The urge to tease him for being cute and the urge to pretend not to notice so he could relax in peace existed side by side. A darker impulse quietly raised its head as well.
I want to suck on him.
Those downy-soft cheeks. Those lips pressed tightly shut as if bracing himself. And those fingers gripping the seatbelt like a lifeline — he wanted to greedily suck them all in.
The memory of last night came back to him — those cheeks flushed pink from the alcohol, clothes rustling as he moved. The moment Kang Jihyeok’s throat had shifted dangerously.
“Um, mister.”
Yeonwoo leaned forward, bending toward Kang Jihyeok. When he saw Jihyeok sitting silently in the car without a word, there was only one thing that could mean. He was glad he’d figured it out quickly.
“Yeah?”
Kang Jihyeok, on the other hand, went briefly still at the sight of Yeonwoo’s face drawing close. Under normal circumstances he might have lazily said, Going to kiss me? — but such a low-grade thing felt wrong to say to this face. It was too clear, too pure. As if not a single speck of the world’s grime had touched him — a pristine whiteness. How had a child like this been born from Cha Baeju’s blood? If he hadn’t seen the DNA report himself, he’d have called it a lie. The boy’s soft hair brushed lightly past the tip of his nose.
Click.
“Here you go.”
“…Thank you. Good boy.”
He’d been wondering what the boy was fussing about. It was only a seatbelt. He fastened it for him. He found himself curious about what thought process went through Yeonwoo’s head before each little thing he did. If anyone else had done it, he’d have found it revolting and thrown a punch on the spot — but when Yeonwoo did it, it was just cute. The sight of that small thing fidgeting and fussing around in eager determination to do something was, genuinely, unbearably cute.
Yes!
Yeonwoo was glad he’d caught on quickly to the signal Kang Jihyeok had been giving — to fasten his seatbelt. If he’d been spacing out like he usually did and missed that subtle sign…. It was a scenario he didn’t even want to imagine.
But the silence descended again. Desperate to keep the conversation going somehow, Yeonwoo moved his lips. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask. But he was worried about saying the wrong thing and upsetting Jihyeok, so he couldn’t bring himself to speak recklessly.
Should I ask where we’re going after we eat?
