The word I’d been silently turning over and over in my mind came flying out of Seon Eunhu’s mouth, and I startled so hard I couldn’t even pretend otherwise. Seon Eunhu, a smile hanging on his face, looked oddly amused. Was I imagining things? It almost felt like he was teasing me….
“Why are you so shocked? I was asking if you’re good at cleaning the bathroom.”
“…Why do you want to know about cleaning?”
“The owner here is particular about it. If you didn’t know, start paying attention from now on. Bleach — twice a week, no exceptions.”
I’ll enjoy it, he said, leaving the tray behind and walking off with just the coffee.
Seon Eunhu settled into a seat by the window, peeled the wrapper off his straw, and took a slow sip of coffee. I stood there and watched him the whole time without moving. At some point, staring endlessly at that impossibly beautiful face — one that had no business belonging to someone with such an ugly personality — I finally snapped back to my senses. Somehow, Seon Eunhu had managed to walk off not just with my coffee, but with my mind as well.
No matter how annoyed I get, I’m the type to brush most things off as meaningless and not let them weigh on me — yet Seon Eunhu kept slipping in so effortlessly and getting under my skin, despite how resilient I usually am. The last thing I wanted was to have anything to do with a pervert like him, and I found it deeply, thoroughly aggravating.
Maybe it was because he had a body without a single flaw. Seon Eunhu seemed like the kind of person who never held back when he had something to say or do. The discord between his parents probably hadn’t left any mark on him at all. The alpha Seon Eunhu, as he appeared on the surface, looked that unbothered — without a single crease in him.
…What if.
If I hadn’t grown up the way I did — in hardship — would I also be living a normal life like that? Easygoing, carefree, occasionally doing whatever I pleased?
If I’d had blood ties that would have stood by my side no matter what I did, would I have been like Seon Eunhu….
“…….”
Watching him there, so at ease, that kind of hypothetical crept up on me. There was no way to turn back time, and yet the thought seized my mind in an instant, stirring up every emotion imaginable.
“Taerim. Three milk shakes and one latte, two iced Americanos. Get the fruit out first.”
“Yes!”
At the manager’s call, I shook my head vigorously to chase away the useless thoughts. This was what I liked about staying busy. Being absorbed in the trivial tasks right in front of me meant no time to waste on pointless emotions.
I quickly pulled out the pre-portioned fruit from the freezer. The cold air blanketing my entire face vanished without a trace the moment I shut the freezer door.
After that, customers came in a steady, unbroken stream for a good while. It was only after cycling through taking orders, making drinks, tidying up, and washing dishes several times over that I finally found a moment to drink a single sip of water.
While the manager stepped away briefly, I leaned listlessly against the POS terminal. The intensity of the work had left my body feeling more sluggish than usual.
I was slowly rolling my neck in a stretch when my gaze drifted to the yellow flowers outside the shop window.
“…….”
My late parents had run a flower shop when they were alive. By now, more than ten-some years after they returned to nature, they must have been reborn as the flowers they loved so much. Surely they’d become beautiful flowers and, just as they did in life, were out there making someone else happy. Someday, I wished I could feel the touch of that pollen too — then I’d have nothing left to want.
It wasn’t yet the season for spring flowers to bloom, but I’d heard they’d opened earlier than usual this year. Did that mean this summer would be especially hot? I couldn’t stand the heat.
…Maybe I should just die before it gets too hot.
Twenty-one years felt like enough time to have lived as a human. Even if I toughed out the sweltering summer, nothing would change for me — just the color of leaves turning. Part-time jobs, school, stretching a tight wallet to scrape together meals.
It seemed like it would honestly do more good for nature if I died now and gave something back to the soil, rather than continuing to live on as Go Taerim. No matter how many times I thought about it, that was how it felt.
Should I really just die today?
On the way home from work, should I spend every last coin I had buying the most comfortable means to go — I was deep in that thought when it happened.
“Ah….”
My eyes met Seon Eunhu’s. It wasn’t a coincidental glance — he had been watching me first.
How long had he been looking? I turned away, pretending not to be flustered, and started wiping down the shelves. Of all people, it was Seon Eunhu who’d been watching me — which meant he’d probably been mentally harassing me this whole time. He claimed he didn’t like guys, but given that he had no apparent limits when it came to showing off his junk regardless of the other person’s gender, that claim didn’t carry much weight.
Maybe it was an alpha thing — spending all day with his head full of filthy thoughts. Must be nice having so much energy.
My mood had soured so thoroughly that I couldn’t even remember what I’d been thinking about just moments ago, and I let out a quiet sigh. I had a feeling Seon Eunhu was still staring at my back.
Right at that moment, the shop door opened and a customer walked in. It was a third-year senior from our department.
“Welcome… Oh, hello, senior.”
“Hey, Go Taerim. Just give me one iced Americano. Huh? Seon Eunhu! What are you doing here alone? Thinking about picking up a part-time job here again?”
“Four thousand won.”
The senior didn’t even wait to get her card back and went straight over to sit with Seon Eunhu. Thanks to that, I was freed from that uncomfortable stare, and I turned to the coffee machine with practiced ease.
The deep dark brown espresso dripped thickly into the shot glass. I poured it into an ice-filled cup, then placed it on the tray alongside the card.
“Your coffee is ready.”
Maybe I’d been paying too much attention to everything. I was tired of it all.
“Well, I’ll be heading out then.”
“Alright. Good work.”
The moment I changed out of my uniform and back into my regular clothes, I said goodbye to the manager and bolted out of the shop. The stares I could feel from the floor had been burning into me too sharply. Even with a friend sitting right across from him, Seon Eunhu had kept watching only me, like someone with an obsession. Just as I’d suspected — he had definitely been waiting for me to go to the bathroom.
So the moment my shift ended, I fled the café and ducked straight into the convenience store right next door. Far from feeling bored, my heart was pounding so hard I was breaking out in a cold sweat.
Not that long ago, I’d been comparing him to a beautifully sharpened pencil and wanting to keep staring at him — but now I couldn’t stand to even breathe the same air as him. I had absolutely no intention of being used in his sexual fantasies.
“Haah….”
I set a can of spicy tuna on the checkout counter, already dreading the woodworking class I’d inevitably have to share with him once a week. Tonight’s dinner. I went around the convenience store once to grab some disposable chopsticks, and by the time I came back, the cashier had already put my things in a plastic bag and was waiting for payment. There was no reason to bag something I was taking like this, but there on the payment screen was an added 100 won for the bag.
I paused for a moment — but then wordlessly held out my card. A hundred won was a small amount, and money needed to flow for the economy to keep going anyway…. Besides, I figured I could just think of it as paying for the chopsticks.
Next time, I won’t leave things at the counter and walk away, I thought as I walked out of the convenience store. There was a separate exit leading directly to the officetel elevator, so I didn’t have to breathe any more outside air. I was crossing the quiet, empty first floor of the building and reaching out to press the elevator button when I heard someone behind me.
“I was wondering where you’d gone.”
I spun around at the familiar voice and nearly let out a yelp. Seon Eunhu, who had just been sitting in the café moments ago, was striding toward me.
“You live here too? I’ve been looking for you for a while.”
The dark shadow that had stretched over my head gradually lifted as Seon Eunhu’s face came into view. Watching those sharp, gleaming eyes in that ominous air, I took a couple of steps back.
That pervert actually followed me all the way here….
Seon Eunhu came to a stop right in front of me and looked down at me with a slight tilt of his head. His expression was composed, but his cool eyes made no effort to hide the fact that he wasn’t in a great mood. He was always warm with other people but perpetually irritated in front of me. I’d always figured it was because he harbored some underhanded intentions toward me, and now I was even more sure of it.
“I live here too. Ninth floor.”
Oh.
Only then did I remember that Seon Eunhu had mentioned he lived in this building. But I wasn’t the kind of fool who let his guard down so easily.
“Then why were you looking for me?”
“What’s that in your hand?”
“What?”
“You didn’t have it before.”
Seon Eunhu said it without even trying to hide the fact that he’d been watching me since the shop. And then he reached out like some thug about to shake someone down, so I instinctively hid the black bag behind my back.
“This? I just bought this. Just now.”
“Let me see it for a second.”
“Why?”
“Because I already know what you’re thinking, so hand it over.”
“W-wait, why are you trying to take it — ! What are you doing? It’s mine!”
