He’s probably tired out and gone home by now. Huiwon turned off the café lights last, then held his finger to the electronic lock and let the fingerprint sensor secure the door. He’d dragged out the closing so much that his commute home was running nearly an hour later than usual.
Huiwon wrapped both hands tight around his hot chocolate against the brushing cold. He’d made it to take with him as something to fight the chill on the way home. The sweet smell tickled the tip of his nose. He’d even dropped a marshmallow in — just the thing to melt away a draining day on the walk back.
“Ah……. Looks like you’re done.”
A voice from the corner of the building startled Huiwon and he whipped his head around. Kang Hyeonho was standing there, nose and cheeks red from the cold. Huiwon had not once actually believed he’d still be waiting — he stopped dead in his tracks, forgetting even to drink his hot chocolate. Kang Hyeonho’s lips curved up. The cold had stiffened his face muscles, so it came out a little awkward.
“You were still here?”
Unbelievable. Huiwon’s voice pitched upward.
“Yeah……. You told me to wait…….”
Hyeonho tilted his head in genuine puzzlement at Huiwon’s startled reaction. His lips were half-frozen too, and the words came out slightly slurred.
Annoying. Did he really not catch that it was meant to put him off — that it was a brush-off dressed up as an instruction?
“What is it you’re so desperate to say? Does an apology change anything?”
Huiwon snapped at Hyeonho, who had waited all this time.
“……Still. It’s been on my mind.”
Hyeonho answered with his frozen face and gave a small sniff. He was cold, that much was obvious. Even in the brief moment Huiwon was standing there, the biting wind crept into every gap. He could have waited a reasonable amount of time and left, or come back inside partway through — and seeing Hyeonho having sat through the cold in full, Huiwon felt even more sour, as though he’d somehow been cast as the villain.
He almost said are you an idiot, why didn’t you just come inside — but he stopped himself. He was the one who’d been cold and sharp about being disturbed during closing. He couldn’t very well say that now.
He pressed his lower lip shut and cast his eyes down to the ground, and that’s when he caught sight of Hyeonho’s hands — alternately rubbing the backs of each other in the cold.
“You want this?”
He didn’t know why the hand that had held out the juice can to him that day came back to him just then. Huiwon looked at Hyeonho’s hands once, then looked at the hot chocolate in his right hand — and held it out to Hyeonho. Just as he had done. Like charity.
“You want this?”
He’d pictured Hyeonho squirming with embarrassment at the echo of the same situation — but Hyeonho took the hot chocolate Huiwon offered without a moment’s hesitation.
“Thank you. I was getting cold.”
He wrapped both hands around the takeout cup and dipped his head in a small bow. He even smiled, saying it was nice and warm. Huiwon tilted his chin up and watched him steadily.
Hyeonho, who had been turning the takeout cup over in his hands, lifted it to his lips.
He tilted it slowly — then squeezed his eyes completely shut. His throat bobbed with a gulp, and then the cup came away from his lips. Like a child swallowing bitter medicine, Hyeonho forced the sweet hot chocolate down his throat.
“It’s good.”
It’s good? Watching him smile while his body gave a faint shiver at the sweetness — something inside Huiwon twisted again. Let’s see how long you keep up this act.
Huiwon watched Hyeonho carefully bring the cup to his lips for another small sip and let the corner of his mouth lift.
“You said you wanted to apologize?”
“Ah, yes!”
Hyeonho answered right away with a vigorous nod.
“I have a feeling just saying sorry in words won’t be enough for me to feel better.”
“……Ah……. Fair enough.”
Then what do I do. Kang Hyeonho murmured.
“You said I was there to eat men. While deciding I was a drug addict.”
Thinking about it gets me angry all over again. That day had been terrible in every possible way for Huiwon. The rage at himself for being stupid enough to get swept up in having friends and nearly ruining his life. The day he’d been dyed head to toe in shame from the degrading words hurled at him.
Huiwon turned the memory over in his mouth. The words hadn’t come from Hyeonho — but who exactly had said them didn’t matter. They were all the same to him, in the end.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.”
Huiwon looked at Hyeonho, who was fidgeting with the takeout cup with a sheepish look on his face, and made a decision. If he truly wanted to apologize, if he truly wanted to be a good person — then Huiwon would let him serve as a punching bag until he was thoroughly sick of it.
“If you’re sorry, then come to the café at this time after you get off work tomorrow. There’s somewhere I want to take you.”
Huiwon smiled at Hyeonho — a calm, even smile. Hyeonho looked at that smile and nodded quickly.
“Close your mouth.”
At Huiwon’s words, Hyeonho snapped his mouth shut with an audible click — but his eyes kept traveling around no matter what. The place Huiwon had led Hyeonho to after work was somewhere Hyeonho recognized. It was none other than Deep Red — the gay bar Huiwon had been brought into custody from.
Faced with the familiar exterior, Hyeonho had gone rigid at the entrance leading down underground. Huiwon, already a few steps ahead on the stairs, turned and said “What are you doing?” with a nudging tone. The corner of his mouth was pulled up high — he looked like he was enjoying this.
“You’re buying, right?”
“Of course.”
Just as Dogyeong had done when he’d first brought Huiwon here, Hyeonho and Huiwon sat side by side at the bar facing the bartender and opened the menu. Huiwon was already humming to himself, muttering “Gotta order something expensive,” as he went through the menu with care.
To order something properly expensive, spirits by the bottle would be the obvious call — but spirits were far from Huiwon’s taste. He dragged his finger down the menu, and stopped at the cocktails.
“Hmm……. I’ll have the Blue Sapphire, please.”
Hyeonho followed Huiwon, who looked right at home, and said “Same for me.” He’d only ever really drunk soju and beer, so he had no idea what was what. With the order roughly sorted, Hyeonho went back to looking around the room.
The groups drinking and chatting looked like they were having a good time. From the outside, it didn’t look all that different from a regular bar — except for the noticeably high proportion of men. Though here and there, very occasionally, a woman could be spotted too.
Hyeonho’s gaze landed on the hand of one man in a nearby group. A hand that had been resting on the shoulder of the man sitting next to him slid slowly down to wrap around his waist. The man whose waist it now encircled covered it with his own hand without a second thought. Then the two of them laced their fingers together and toyed with each other’s hands idly. Whether it was the soft red lighting or his own preconceptions, the movement of those hands looked slow and sensuous to Hyeonho.
“Getting an eyeful?”
The pointed voice snapped Hyeonho back and he quickly shook his head. Was I staring that obviously. Hyeonho picked up the cocktail that had arrived right on cue. The glass was round and the drink a glowing blue. A slice of lemon had been laid across the top, making it look pretty. So that’s why it’s called Blue whatever. Drawn in by the hazy color, Hyeonho brought the glass to his lips — and pulled it away quickly.
There was definitely the sharp bite of alcohol circling his mouth, but trailing behind it came a sweetness that circled right alongside it.
“What? Can’t hold your drink?”
“No……. That’s not it.”
It’s just too sweet. Hyeonho couldn’t bring himself to say it, and instead pressed his lips together a few times, trying to work the lingering sweetness off the corners of his mouth. This wasn’t going to make for a comfortable drinking conversation — he was staring down at the glass sloshing with blue liquid when Hyeonho’s glass quietly slid over to Huiwon’s side.
“Order something else. I’ll drink this.”
“……Oh. I already put my mouth on that.”
“So? Does it bother you that a gay guy’s putting his mouth where yours has been?”
“No, no, no.”
Hyeonho denied it three times in rapid succession and even waved both hands.
This one glass costs how much, and you’re going to throw it away after one sip. Huiwon muttered quietly and lined up both glasses in front of himself.
He must be a decent drinker. That boyish face keeps fooling me. With a face that innocent-looking, being so comfortable with drinking, and with men…… No.
“Just a bottled beer for me, please.”
Hyeonho scanned the menu and ordered a domestic beer. The bartender popped the cap right away, wiped the mouth of the bottle with a napkin, and slid it in front of Hyeonho. He pressed his lips to the bottle and tipped it back, gulping it down steadily — the sweetness left in his mouth washed away with it and his thirst cleared.
“Boyfriend?”
The bartender glanced at Hyeonho and asked Huiwon. Hyeonho nearly choked. The beer almost came out through his nose. The bartender asking, casually and naturally, whether the man sitting next to him was his boyfriend — it drove home all over again that this was a gay bar.
“He’s straight.”
