“It’s really something…”
Ganghyeon, standing beside him with his arms folded, smiled faintly. The interior designer who had poured original ideas, expensive materials, and elite craftsmanship into this place would have clutched their chest if they’d heard that.
Jiwon had been walking through the house with the vague, half-interested air of someone touring a stranger’s home, tossing out perfunctory expressions of admiration — but the outdoor terrace was the one thing that genuinely won him over. Ganghyeon agreed with Jiwon’s assessment that it really was something. The cool breeze made it all the more so.
“But the whole place is white, isn’t it? Is that your taste?”
“I only said I don’t particularly like dark and gloomy. Do you not like it?”
“No, I think it’s nice. Clean. Cleaning it is going to be a bit of a task, though.”
“Don’t worry about it—, no. Someone will take care of that.”
The words don’t worry about it had slipped out of habit. Ganghyeon smoothly redirected, and Jiwon, who had been resting his arm on the railing and looking at him, smiled with his eyes crinkling. It was clear enough that Ganghyeon had meant nothing beyond the surface by it. Ganghyeon gave a small, quiet cough and headed back inside to the living room. He said there were things to decide and began looking around the interior.
“There are about three rooms that could work as bedrooms. Which one suits you?”
Ganghyeon led Jiwon across the living room to the largest room. It came fully equipped with a walk-in closet and a bathroom, and a wide floor-to-ceiling window across the front offered an excellent view.
“I was thinking of making this the main bedroom — would that work for you?”
“Yes, I like it.”
“Then let’s do that. This room will be yours to use.”
Jiwon turned to look at Ganghyeon. Saying this room was for Jiwon meant Ganghyeon intended to use a different one. Jiwon had naturally assumed they’d be sharing the same bedroom, and he barely managed to conceal the surprise beneath the surface. It was a fresh reminder that this was no ordinary marriage.
“We’d be putting two beds in regardless, so sharing a room wouldn’t be an issue — but I can’t sleep with the lights off. It would make things uncomfortable for you in various ways. So I’ll take the room across the hall.”
Ganghyeon pointed to the room across from them, and Jiwon nodded with an awkward smile. Hearing the explanation settled some of his surprise — but the part about not being able to sleep stayed with him.
“You can’t sleep in the dark?”
The light caught Ganghyeon’s round, brown irises. The pale, enigmatic amber within their deep-set rims drew the eye in. They were in the middle of deciding which room to use — so why was Jiwon asking about his sleeping habits?
“I can’t turn the lights off because I’m scared a ghost will come out of the wardrobe.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m joking. It’s a habit I’ve had since I was a child. My insomnia is fairly severe as well.”
“Ah. Insomnia.”
“I’d end up disturbing your sleep.”
I sleep pretty well naturally, so a little disruption would probably be fine… Jiwon swallowed the rest of the thought and followed Ganghyeon, who had already stepped out of the room. Having gone through the entire place, Ganghyeon pointed to the room closest to the main bedroom and spoke.
“I think this one would work well as a studio — what do you think?”
“A studio?”
“If it’s more convenient to rent a separate studio outside, that’s fine too — but considering the commute time and ease of access, having it at home didn’t seem like a bad option.”
Ganghyeon swept his hair back and glanced away. Jiwon would need a studio, and there was a decent-sized room available in the apartment. He’d asked purely out of practical consideration — but the way Jiwon was looking at him, visibly and unabashedly moved, made it hard to hold his gaze.
“Think about how you’d like the studio set up. I’ll have someone contact you tomorrow afternoon, so you can go over the details with the contractor.”
Jiwon stepped into the room designated for the studio and turned this way and that, taking in the space. Standing in the doorway, Ganghyeon watched him quietly — every thought Jiwon had playing out plainly across his face. Jiwon’s reaction gave him a quiet sense of satisfaction, somewhere.
Whether it was the approaching wedding date making Grandmother more anxious at the sight of Jiwon or simply the way she was, her phone calls had grown longer and more full of reminders. Ganghyeon stared at the elevator floor with irritated eyes. He said he understood and told her not to worry, but the more she pressed the issue, the more his resolve to not have a child solidified.
Being told to hurry up and have children before he’d even turned thirty was not exactly pleasant to hear. It felt, at this age, like being told he’d already served his purpose. And on top of that, Ganghyeon had come into the world through means that weren’t natural — his very existence drawn from another person’s genes. Having spent his whole life shackled by the fact that he was born outside of wedlock, the topic of children made his skin crawl.
Returning to his officetel, Ganghyeon pulled at the knot of his tie and worked it loose as he walked toward the walk-in closet. Ever since he’d started working at the company, the suit he put on each morning like armor felt suffocating by nightfall, as if it were compressing his body.
The parents who had gone to such lengths to bring him into this world showed remarkably little interest in how he actually grew up. When he thought about it, the reason Ganghyeon had started working at the company so early came down to insecurity. From childhood, he had done two, three times better than others and still received harsh evaluations. Doing everything well was expected; mistakes earned no understanding. He had encountered countless people who praised him to his face and cut him down behind his back. In a world with not a single person truly on his side, Ganghyeon had fought through it all alone.
The marriage to Jiwon was his final act of compliance — something to show the adults who had shaped his existence. He would give them what they wanted up to the wedding, and once it was done, Ganghyeon planned to find a suitable overseas branch and leave the country. Perhaps he could even step away from the company altogether and live as an ordinary Han Ganghyeon, not someone’s son — and maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.
“You can contact me tomorrow morning. Any requests made by my spouse, I’ll review separately at a later time. If there are any particular issues, please reach out to me directly.”
After finishing a cold shower, Ganghyeon called the director in charge of the newlywed home’s interior design and relayed the message about the studio. He ended the call stretched out long on the sofa, legs extended, and closed his eyes. He was perfectly still, as if asleep — but his mind was wide awake. No matter how exhausted he was, falling asleep was never easy.
Giving up on sitting, Ganghyeon lay on his side across the sofa, gaze drifting blankly to a potted plant on one side of the living room. The wedding wasn’t far off now. Since becoming independent at twenty, he had lived alone without interruption — and now an official cohabitant was about to enter that life.
Jeong Jiwon, whom he’d met at that first arranged meeting, had turned out to be more unusual than expected. Ganghyeon had assumed they’d maintain a purely formal relationship from start to finish — but Jiwon had nonchalantly peeled that frame aside and stepped right through it. He didn’t seem particularly invested in making a good impression on Ganghyeon. He simply said what he thought and did what he would — and that was entirely unlike the patterns Ganghyeon had come to expect from people.
Jiwon had said that since they were going to be married, he wanted to get a little closer. When Ganghyeon heard him say that, since it was a marriage they were going into together, he wanted to share in the responsibility too — he’d been a little taken aback. It hadn’t come across as needless pride.
Jiwon kept attaching meaning to this marriage. His off-tempo way of pushing forward had made Ganghyeon treat him differently than he usually treated people, almost without realizing it. Though Jiwon was two years older, Ganghyeon often had the feeling of being with someone younger. Perhaps because Jiwon had spent so much of his life absorbed in his art, sealed inside his own world — he was recklessly, unguardedly honest. And that kept making Ganghyeon laugh despite himself.
Ding.
The phone notification rang out loudly in the quiet of the apartment. Ganghyeon picked up the phone he’d tossed onto the sofa and read the messages coming in one after another.
[Sorry for being grumpy earlier] 23:12
[Before the ceremony, come over to my place and have a meal with us. My mom’s cooking is really good. It would also be a chance to say hello to my younger sibling and their spouse — let me know if there’s a time that works for you] 23:13
[And…, thank you so much for the studio. Really.] 23:14
[Get some rest. Nothing is going to come out of the wardrobe tonight.] 23:16
At the last message, Ganghyeon let out a short, breathy laugh. Since he’d been assured nothing would come out of the wardrobe tonight, maybe he’d try turning in early. Ganghyeon lifted himself off the sofa and headed to the bedroom. He had a habit of sleeping without a top, so he pulled off his white cotton t-shirt and tossed it onto the bed, then lay down flat on his stomach, stretched out long.
Arms spread, lying prone, the long scars running down both sides of his torso came into view. Several streaks of scarring, stretching from his chest and wrapping along his sides, had healed to white — stark and visible against his warm light-brown skin.
Ganghyeon buried his face into the soft pillow and closed his eyes. The bedroom lights burned bright, and the apartment was silent without so much as a rustle.
Jiwon lay in bed, phone held above his face, and stretched out a long, indulgent stretch. Well, what did I expect. No reply again. When there was something that needed an answer, Ganghyeon usually called — and even then, the calls were never long.
Ganghyeon’s first impression had been extremely cold and dry. Now, some time later, things felt different. He was still decisive when it came to making decisions and seeing them through — but Jiwon had come to feel genuinely looked after.
The way Ganghyeon had simply handed him the largest and most spacious room in the newlywed home without a second thought, and had even been thinking ahead about a studio — it had been touching, honestly. What if he fell for me at first sight and is actually in love with me. He’d even caught himself thinking something that absurd. He knew, of course, that this was a marriage built on the fine print of a contract — yet he couldn’t help but keep leaning on Ganghyeon.
“Oppa. Have some chicken.”
“Chicken tonight, is it.”
